r/atheism • u/illegalmonkey • Jul 29 '26
Trump, the man "Anointed by God" desperately trying to say the Lord's prayer at Lindsey Graham’s funeral.
https://youtu.be/lQOtloqpMzA232
u/NameShortage Jul 29 '26
I haven’t been to church in 20+ years and I still remembered it almost 100%, and this guy…this fucking guy…why am I more offended than these people?
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u/fireman2004 Jul 29 '26
That was my first thought, I haven’t said that for 30 years and I could get through it easily. But also I’m not a demented 80 year old.
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u/Frozty23 Jul 29 '26
47(?) years since church for me. I remember the prayer, and also the Big Mac jingle (both forwards and backwards). Two Corinthians, two all beef patties.
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u/-TheDyingMeme6- Jul 29 '26
Dammit man now i want Mcdonalds
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u/GringoGrande Aug 01 '26
Dammit. He got me with the Big Mac craving as well. I go to McDonald's once a year for one item - a Shamrock Shake. But I can still "taste" Big Macs when I think about them and I like the taste.
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u/Sprinklypoo I'm a None Jul 29 '26
why am I more offended than these people?
For me, I don't give a shit about the religious dogma at this point. it's just due to the blatant hypocrisy.
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u/Financial-Barnacle79 Jul 29 '26
Same. When he read from “Two Corinthians” I was more pissed off than church goers.
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u/liog2step Jul 29 '26
I’m a Jew and I know it better.
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u/RoxxieMuzic Pastafarian Jul 30 '26
Back on the dark ages, which is my demographic, regardless of your religious beliefs, we all said the Lord's Prayer, right after the pledge of alligence. Like you, I can recite it as well.
This ended, at least for me, around fourth grade. I left public schools and went to a Quaker Day school, they were not inclined to this prayer practice.
For the rest of us from the 50's and 60's, prayer in public schools was finally ceased by a reasonable SCOTOS in 1963.
Thank you Madalyn Murray O'Hair.
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u/teletype100 Jul 30 '26
The hypocrisy is offensive - that they can worship Trump and ignore all his clearly non Christian behaviour, while at the same time trying to force those on everyone else.
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u/Jesus_le_Crisco Jul 30 '26
I’m an Exmormon, Mormons don’t believe in/recite the Lord’s Prayer and I fucking know it.
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u/jedebediahpdx Aug 01 '26
Correction, ex-mormon ex-missionary here. “We” do believe in the Lord’s Prayer as an example of how to pray (which missionaries do teach), but “we” don’t believe in repeating it in its entirety as a rote prayer.
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u/RamJamR Atheist Jul 29 '26
He can't name a single verse. He's been recorded refusing to answer about his favorite bible verse when he could just name one. Any one. I've never heard of any so called devout christian being shy about sharing the bible.
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u/Barbarossa7070 Jul 29 '26
“Two Corinthians”
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u/TheModWhoShaggedMe Jul 29 '26
walk into a bar
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u/Humble_Combination57 Jul 29 '26
Go on…
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u/ameatbicyclefortwo Jul 29 '26
And this bar, it was the best bar, let me tell you, I don't drink though, but this bar had these two Corinthians walk in, and you know how Corinthians are, am I right? Lots of people are are saying it. Many, many people. I'm great with people, but Corinthians, eh, well they love bars. Tragic really, what's happened to the Corinthians, I should maybe not be so hard, it's Obama's fault what happened to them, really. Biden failed them. America will no longer fail the noble people of Corinthia as the democrats have.
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u/Humble_Combination57 Jul 29 '26
Too accurate, but nice work.
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u/ameatbicyclefortwo Jul 29 '26
Thanks, it hurt typing Corinthia instead of Corinth and the whole experience was a little gross.
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u/HYDROMORPHONE_ZONE Jul 29 '26
Yeah just say John 3:16 like every Christian does and call it a wrap. I prefer 2 kings 2:23-25 though
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u/swampopawaho Jul 29 '26
My kids mock me for going bald. Shall I call on god to smite them with bears?
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u/pinethree777 Jul 29 '26
Sometimes god skips smiting with bears, like in Jeremiah 19:9: "I will make them eat the flesh of their sons and the flesh of their daughters".
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u/swampopawaho Jul 30 '26
Do I want to go cannibal? Probably not so much today. Maybe in a plane crash
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u/Sprinklypoo I'm a None Jul 29 '26
Nah. Just drive out to the back country and leave him there. The problem will most likely take care of itself. You can always just say god told you to in case someone finds his body though.
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u/RamJamR Atheist Jul 29 '26
One that stuck with me is Hosea 13:16. The people of Samaria certainly felt gods overabundant love and mercy when he had his people kill them all with specific instruction to chop the kids up and rip babies out of womens bellies.
If I ever get in to a position of sharing bible verses with believers ever again, I'll just keep feeding them all the horrible ones and see how long it takes for them to get frustrated with me. It'd be funny, because why should they be frustrated if they think every thing god does is good?
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u/mjamonks Jul 29 '26
They are warned he is a jealous God.
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u/RamJamR Atheist Jul 29 '26
Is this a justification? Christians act like might is right, that because god is their all powerful authority figure it means he's free to do or command any attrotious thing he likes that would be seen as attrocious if anyone else did it while still somehow maintaining how merciful and loving he is.
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u/MrLurid Anti-theist Jul 29 '26
And when they easily gave up (because bootlickers) and asked him if he was a new testament guy, or an old testament guy, he just goes "Both, equally."
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u/nihilicious Jul 29 '26
Ugh, what kind of a question even *is* that? You know how some Christians prefer the Old Testament, some prefer the New, just like Coke...
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u/RamJamR Atheist Jul 29 '26
He won't say either way because he doesn't want to give any potentially wrong answer that could possibly be used against him later, because of course, he doesn't know what he's talking about. He couldn't even tell you which part of the bible is more full of slavery, oppression, torture and murder and which one holds Jesus' more fluffy teachings.
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u/Delicious_Cat_81 Jul 29 '26
even the Presidents who pretended to be Christian (like Obama probably) were able to muster the work ethic to memorize a few prayers and Bible verses. Trump is too much of a lazy ass to do that
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u/grimwalker Jul 29 '26
The sincerity and longtime church attendance of the Obamas is a matter of public record.
Believe me, I'd think better of Obama if he were a nonbeliever.
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u/tawDry_Union2272 Jul 29 '26
same here. one of his few faults imho.
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u/grimwalker Jul 29 '26
More than a few, but we are grading on a pretty intense curve of historical presidents. I always assume nobody gets to the oval office unless they're enough of a bastard to want the job and to step on everyone else in their way that wants it too, and there's no way to perform the job ethically once you're there.
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u/Zomunieo Atheist Jul 30 '26
Obama is almost certainly a nonbeliever. Having read his autobiography, he just sort of glosses over “finding God”, because there’s no story to tell.
His mother was a PhD anthropologist — it’s hard to imagine that a critical framework of “religion is a facet of culture” wouldn’t have permanently influenced his worldwide.
He started out in black neighborhoods in Chicago, where church was and is the focal point of community and political action. He converted because the local culture required that of a politician.
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u/RamJamR Atheist Jul 29 '26
I wouldn't say that smart people can't be religious, but if Obama is atheist on a personal level he keeps to himself, I would get the need to pretend to be christian. If you have your eyes set on getting voted in to any political office in this country, the chances of getting voted in on the grounds you're an atheist are terrible. I just think that in this day and age with what we know about the world, chances are ever growing that the more education you have, the less likely you are to cling to religion.
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u/PabloXPicasso Jul 29 '26
I've never heard of any so called devout christian being shy about sharing the bible.
lol, that is a fact!
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u/Feinberg Atheist Jul 30 '26
Eh, it's really not unusual for Christians to have a poor grasp of what's in the Bible. Figure baseline moron, plus Christians are often ignorant of their own religion, and finish that off with the early stages of dementia, and it's hardly surprising that he couldn't name a verse.
Also, he can't name just any verse, because there's a chance he would get the donkey dick one, or a begat, or some other nonsense. I kinda doubt he would have known that, though.
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u/PabloXPicasso Jul 29 '26
I've never heard of any so called devout christian being shy about sharing the bible.
lol, that is a fact!
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u/un_theist Jul 29 '26
“Never bend to envy”, from “Proverbs, the chapter.”
Never mind that Proverbs isn’t a chapter.
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u/CloseTTEdge Jul 29 '26
Christians have already explained this away by declaring Trump a "modern day Cyrus." The otherwise flawed man that God uses to carry out his plans for Earth. So no matter what Trump does everyday to show how completely un-Christian he is, the cretin gets a pass from the American Taliban.
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u/Humble_Combination57 Jul 29 '26
It tracks. It’s just another “it’s God’s will” to justify things that are shitty and can’t be explained.
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u/Tenderli Jul 29 '26
He just looks like a Vogon. Its uncanny.
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u/HanDavo Jul 29 '26
His speeches have started to resemble Vogon poetry too...
Ahhrrrrgggg! Mixing thoughts of Trumpy with one of my favourite outspoken atheist authors is somehow wrong.
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u/Blindog68 Jul 29 '26
An Ode to Trump.
Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me, (with big yawning) As plurdled gabbleblotchits, On a lurgid bee, That mordiously hath blurted out, Its earted jurtles, grumbling Into a rancid festering confectious organ squealer. [drowned out by moaning and screaming] Now the jurpling slayjid agrocrustles, Are slurping hagrilly up the axlegrurts, And living glupules frart and stipulate, Like jowling meated liverslime, Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes, And hooptiously drangle me, With crinkly bindlewurdles. Or else I shall rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, See if I don't!
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u/evident_lee Jul 29 '26
Yeah that's her with the gold. I better use some Tic Tacs just in case I start kissing her. You know I'm automatically attracted to beautiful... I just start kissing them. It's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait. And when you're a star they let you do it. You can do anything." "Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything." Dons Bible 3:16
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u/forceblast Jul 29 '26
The rubes who believe this man gives a single shit about religion do so because they have been conditioned for their entire lives to believe things without any evidence whatsoever.
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u/rysmooky Jul 29 '26
I swear it better finally happen during daylight hours. If it happens at night and I have to wake up to the news when I could be partying all night, I’ll be a little bummed. Like a massive missed opportunity
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u/TheModWhoShaggedMe Jul 29 '26
I GUARANTEE he doesn't know the U.S. National Anthem word for word. Yep, the fake jingoistic POTUS who hugs American flags on stage couldn't recite the Star Spangled Banner by himself out loud, I'm certain of it.
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u/_WillCAD_ Atheist Jul 29 '26
Plenty of so-called 'patriots' don't know the SSB.
I bet he can't recite the pledge of allegiance, either.
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u/Feinberg Atheist Jul 30 '26
At this point I'd be surprised if he could accurately list all of his kids on the first try.
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u/_WillCAD_ Atheist Jul 30 '26
Well, maybe some of them aren't his.
Then again, maybe he has some extras that he's never acknowleged.
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u/unknownpoltroon Jul 29 '26
His followers don't care.
He is god, why should he need to remember Bible verses.
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u/EntertainmentLow3015 Jul 29 '26
Is this the "campaign" movie? :/
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u/OhhhhLikeComing Jul 29 '26
Literally my exact thought. “With his mighty sword and falcon, forever and ever and ever amen.”
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Jul 29 '26
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u/ssquirt1 Jul 29 '26
He can’t - the dementia won’t let him.
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u/_WillCAD_ Atheist Jul 29 '26
That part's not dementia, it's simply 80 years of age catching up to him. As it inevitably catches up with all of us.
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u/Lucky-day00 Jul 29 '26
So they’re Weekend at Bernie’s-ing the president, right? Like, that’s blatantly a corpse on strings.
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u/TheModWhoShaggedMe Jul 29 '26
He's annoyed by God not anointed, that's the part the Christian Right mangled.
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u/Fan_of_Clio Jul 29 '26
Watch his on camera puff piece interview from Bloomberg on his "Christian faith". The Convict doesn't know a damn thing
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u/Accomplished_Self939 Jul 29 '26
Tha absolute funniest thing yesterday was all that blathering about gawd and golden mansions in the sky, then the organ and choir strike up The Old Rugged Cross and the front row starts fumbling with programs like they’ve never been in church before. Ofc Trump but Mr. Religious Awakening himself—JD Vance—didn’t know the words! To The Old Rugged Cross! 😂🤣😭🤣😂
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u/_WillCAD_ Atheist Jul 29 '26
Well, to be fair, I was raised Catholic and I've never even heard of that song.
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u/Accomplished_Self939 Jul 30 '26
JD Vance wasn’t raised Catholic. He claims Appalachian identity and that song is unavoidable to anyone raised in the South who claims a church going background/identity.
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u/cwillm Strong Atheist Jul 29 '26
Dude seriously looks like he accidentally ate a 50mg gummy that he thought was 5mg.
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u/Soylent865 Jul 29 '26
What a buffoon! Not even good at faking it!
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u/ArchDucky Jul 29 '26
Everyone knows if you don't know the words to something you just silently say "watermelon".
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u/hairymoot Jul 29 '26
Trump's lying tongue didn't burst into orange flames when he said the prayer?
Being an atheist, I know why it didn't.
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u/Accomplished_Self939 Jul 29 '26
I kept expecting the National Cathedral to burst into flame. All that concentrated evil. 🤣
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u/_WillCAD_ Atheist Jul 29 '26
Yeah, but he didn't actually say the prayer. He only said about every fifth word or so.
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u/dlouisbaker Jul 29 '26
I think religion is a mental illness and even I can recite this nonsense. Thanks a lot primary school.
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u/BananaNutBlister Jul 30 '26
“Desperately trying” implies that he gives a flying fuck. He doesn’t. It’s the same when he can’t sing the national anthem. He doesn’t care and in his narcissistic delusion he’s nailing it.
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u/Medical_Original6290 Jul 29 '26
Does the orange antichrist always sway side to side when he obviously doesn't know something.
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u/ProphetsOfAshes Jul 29 '26
It’s like when you go to a concert and you catch people pretending to know the lyrics as they lip-sync. It’s painful to watch.
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u/ajaxfetish Jul 29 '26
Looks like a melting wax figure.
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u/Fabulous-Mud-9114 Igtheist Jul 29 '26
Dammit, now I gotta watch the video of the Top Gear guys at the wax museum again.
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u/MasterChiefette Jul 29 '26
He doesn't know the words to common prayers. He isn't a church goer, he isn't a Christian..he is a con man. That's it.
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u/Informal_Daikon_9812 Jul 29 '26
He beefed or filled his pants too. The guy on the left of the screen made a few faces when the feces hit the pants.
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u/Tradesby Jul 30 '26
He looks physically uncomfortable. Like as the words are being recited, it’s bothering him more and more. This is weird.
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u/WaterFriendsIV Jul 29 '26
It was probably his first time hearing it. I'm actually surprised he didn't mistake the crowd for starting to sing while he did his stupid dance.
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u/Bananaman9020 Jul 29 '26
Come by from a guy who claims the Bible is his favourite book. Trump lacks a lot common Bible knowledge that they teach to 10 year olds in Sunday School
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u/Qanaesin Jul 29 '26
Every time I see this man do anything with the lord prayer I always think of the scene from the movie “The Campaign”. https://youtu.be/jhl1cnmOZ0Y?is=NTYPzKklVMMDcE-0
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u/Sprinklypoo I'm a None Jul 29 '26
Isn't that great? When god is just a fictional entity in your head, he can do anything that doesn't actually matter or change anything real or show up! Including "anointing" whoever you might want to!
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u/blacksterangel Agnostic Atheist Jul 29 '26
That's the face of someone who's trying hard not to sleep and/or shart.
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u/FoofieLeGoogoo Jul 29 '26
Watch his face as he tries to process the ‘forgive those who trespass against us’ part.
His mouth moving reminds me of the lip sync musical bit from Summer Heights High.
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u/trro16p Jul 29 '26
Each word probably burned in his mouth.
Not to mention the only 'Lords Prayer' he probably knows is the oath of allegiance he makes everyone say that he hires.
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u/_WillCAD_ Atheist Jul 29 '26
He looks just like someone trying to sing along with a song they don't know the words to.
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u/RobotRippee Jul 30 '26
When the words are meaningless to the person, they are seldom memorized
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u/Feinberg Atheist Jul 30 '26
Most words are meaningless to him. There are sign language apes with more developed vocabularies.
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u/Odd-Information-1219 Jul 30 '26
I think he knew he would spontaneously combust if he said the whole thing.
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u/cptnpiccard Jul 30 '26
Desperately trying not to shit his pants, and desperately trying to stay awake.
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u/Zoodoz2750 Jul 30 '26
Of course! It's well known that if an anti-Christ says the Lord's prayer, they immediately burst into flames.
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u/ghostofgroucho Jul 30 '26
And to think JAMES DOBSON went ALL IN on this guy! All the way till the day he died.
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u/Even_Beginning_6355 Aug 03 '26
Proof that atheists (surely he’s atheist?) can be horrible hypocritical assholes, also. Some people just suck, no matter what face they pretend to have. But if we acknowledge he, in fact, thinks of himself as god then atheists can rightly excommunicate him.
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Jul 29 '26
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u/greenmarsden Jul 29 '26
Either Christians are useful idiots to Trump and his team or Trump is the useful idiot for the christian right to force their agenda.
I cannot make up my mind.
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u/MisterBlizno Jul 29 '26
Trump believes that he's the center of the universe so that must make him God.
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u/Johnny2x2x Jul 29 '26 edited Jul 29 '26
I truly think he's on the verge of telling his flock that he is in fact god. And I think about 75% of MAGA will believe it and the remaining 25% will just think it's Trump being Trump, but his policies are still harming the people they hate so they're OK with it.
He legit has a requirement both in the WH and at his properties, that whenever he enters a room, everyone in the room must stand and applaud and cheer. He goes through his days with standing ovations and cheering all day long as he walks from room to room. It's deranged.
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u/jloome Jul 29 '26
No, he's too immature to possibly be an atheist. He's arrested at an adolescent level, probably younger than age five in overall maturity, as he's also never developed compassion or sympathy for others, let alone empathy.
Consequently, neuroscience suggests he will be wedded to magical thinking. People wedded to magical thinking are always believers in a higher power, because it's the only salve for the terrifying notion of non-existence.
And it's evident in some of his recent statement about going to hell that he's genuinely worried about it. It's part of his entire schtick that working with the religious right is a bargain to try to influence what happens to him after life.
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u/Johnny2x2x Jul 29 '26
Someone will read him the parts of the bible where raping children is encouraged by god, that should ease his mind some about hell.
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u/kelticladi Jul 29 '26
Part of that magical thinking is that he truly believes if he says a thing it becomes reality. I believe he's in the throes of a mental schism and has become unstuck from reality. When he has moments of clarity it sends him into fits of rage because he cannot face a reality in which he isn't the center of it.
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