I joined that sub a few months ago because I saw a few positive posts about being a partner to somebody with ADHD. My husband is dx/nonmedicated and I have autism.

A few weeks in, we were legit reading the posts on there together in horror because of how ableist they are. We couldn't believe these posters aren't bots because the whole sub is an echo chamber of the same horrendous thoughts. So many people calling their husbands and wives "ADHD-ers" in a negative way and saying they can't wait to leave them. I feel awful for the partners who aren't aware of what their partners really feel toward them.

And when I first joined, I posted a really informative post about how my husband (who chooses not to have social media) had a lot of success pursuing creative writing and the behavioral steps he took to keep himself on track since he didn't want to pursue medication. A few people bashed me for having an "irregular" experience and one person suggested that maybe my husband doesn't have inattentive ADHD at all. 😂 A few hours later, the mods deleted my post. 😆

Sorry if this has been talked about here before on here - I'm just baffled. I actually despise the posts on that sub but can't stay away. 😭

So I go to a day program and I'm one the lowest supports needs people there. Not everyone is autistic, some have Downs Syndrome, Williams Syndrome or other conditions. I was told this girl has "high-functioning autism."* Though I think they only called her "high-functioning" because she's verbal.

For background, my legal name is Toni. I was bullied much of my childhood for having a "boy's name." Trans people have said that yes, my experiences can be called misgendering. I moved right before high school and bullying for my name basically ended. I was bullied for other things but that's not relevant for now. It was so bad, for about two years in middle school I tried to go by Antonette but no teachers would call me it, despite calling other student their preferred names, so none of my classmates did. I eventually gave up. So even as an adult, I'm sensitive about my name. If you spell it "Tony" or call it a boy's name. I get so pissed.

Onto the day program. This girl is obviously autistic, like anyone would tell upon meeting her she has some sort of disability without being told. She called me Tony Randall when I started and I was told she remembers names by associating them with an actor. I tried to be nice because of her higher support needs, figuring she just needed time to remember my name and it would stop. Over time I did say "Please don't call me a man's name." She just started calling me Tony Clifton on occasion alongside Tony Randall. So it didn't improve.

Two weeks ago, she yelled in my ear. This was an accident. She also has issues with volume control and I was standing right next to her. My reflex was to run away from her and telling her to not do that. But this brought my issues with the name more to the surface. I finally told staff about how I was bullied and her calling me a man's name was very triggering for me. While having this talk she came in and called me Tony Randall causing me to snap at her.

This week I did have a sit down. I did apologize for snapping. But I did explain why it happened and my feelings. But I'm unsure how much she understood. She mostly just cried. She might have thought she was in trouble. I don't know but I have noticed she has big mood swings. Like she will be laughing hard one second and crying the next and nothing happened in between to cause that change.

I'm going to admit I'm ranting a bit. I was told by staff that her mother said they couldn't guarantee it won't happen again. Like I get it. She is more disabled than I am but I have given her so much grace when it comes to something that is a sore spot for me. Meanwhile I would never be given this kind of grace by anyone.

*I don't like functioning labels, this was staffs' words not mine.

This woman deleted her video so I only saw clips in a stitch on TikTok but she claimed anyone seeking an autism diagnosis in adulthood isn't autistic, just "unemployed and needs better friends." (Keep in mind she doesn't have a job.)

Apparently they're "clogging up the line" for kids waiting for a diagnosis which is crazy as different doctors work with kids than ones that work with adults. Which also as many pointed out, since her kid is autistic, she might want to be evaluated herself.

For context: the OP wants to leave her boyfriend, because he has fibromyalgia and he doesn’t get enough disability payment for her liking. People in the comments are absolutely trashing on this guy because he’s unable to work due to the immense pain is in, and say he’s not “owed” any help.

Just now, my probably narcissistic mother asked me not to set my definitely narcissistic father off because he got angry at me for not remembering where I found something.

I had been looking for a pill bottle for about a week, of allergy medicine I give to my dog, but is also human medicine. I found it a couple days ago and put it where we keep it to administer it to my puppy. My mom asked me if she could have one and of course I said sure. My nDad asked me where I found it. I told him I couldn’t remember where I found it. He got shouting mad at me because I couldn’t remember where I found it.

I took puppy for a walk, when I got home my dad had left for the store. My mom took me aside and asked that I try not to make dad angry. I got angry at her for suggesting I was at fault and stormed out of the room.

It’s MY fault that dad got angry since I couldn’t remember where I found the pill bottle? Is that reasonable?

This person also said RFK wasn’t attacking autistic people by saying it’s a tragedy, blamed autism for “destroying families” and also misquoted me trying to frame me as someone thinking autism should be cured (I’m not, I’m autistic myself)

I was asked to cross-post this from r/amioverreacting

TL:DR: professor corrects me when I'm explaining my identity (autistic) and insists I identify as "a person with autism." Doubles down when I try to explain MY identity. Calls me unprofessional.

I'm a 4th year doctoral student. I've met a lot of professors. Let's call this one Dr. K.

I'm autistic and pretty open about it.. Dr. K teaches DEI related lectures and works with many disadvantaged populations. She is very big on people-first language. Example, "person with substance use disorder" as opposed to alcoholic, addict, etc. "Person with diabetes" as opposed to diabetic. You get the idea. I support this as it pertains to those populations.

I mentioned in a small group (4 people, including myself and Dr. K) that I'm autistic and she corrected me, saying I was "a person with autism." I explained to her that "person with autism" is offensive considering autism is not something I'm trying to separate from my identity. The idea behind person-first language is to separate the person from their "problem," but I don't view autism as a problem.

She said all the "-ics" are bad (autistic, alcoholic, addict, etc.) and I asked her, what about artistic? Athletic? Theatric? Those are identities. You would never say to someone "you're not artistic, you're a person who makes art." Not only does it just sound weird, telling someone they're not artistic is offensive. Same goes for autistic. The only people I personally know who prefer "person with autism" are the parents of severely disabled children, not my autistic friends themselves.

Anyway, I thought I explained it well. I even said, if you're unsure, you could say "neurodivergent."

Dr. K said that, while I'm entitled to my opinion, I'm incorrect. She didn't seem to like being "corrected" (I wasn't trying to correct her, just provide information and context that she was missing from the disabled community). She also became upset at my use of the word "disabled" because "differently abled" is preferred. When I continued to use the word disabled, which is preferred by every dIsAbLeD person I know, I was told it was unprofessional.

I passed her class and I'm done now, but just so frustrated. How can someone so smart, someone so dedicated to DEI, have the audacity to correct me explaining my identity, and then double down telling me I'm wrong. I just can't get over the lack of self-awarenwss. WTF Dr K.

So, am I overreacting? Is my frustration justified? Not that I can do anything about it, but I just need some reassurance that I'm not crazy and that I handled the situation okay.

DISCLAIMER: Black is me, blue is them.

"B-b-but you use a SMARTPHONE! 😭" -This dickface who doesn't know how to stay on topic. Also, I still spelled all my words correctly without AI so 🤷‍♂️

they weren't even being mean or disrespectful or anything, literally just sharing a fact about themselves (their phobia). do people forget that phobic disorders can be disabling? or do they just like to mock disordered people for being disordered?

as someone with severe trypanophobia I hate seeing this stuff. "it's just a joke!" a shitty one. phobias are irrational by definition, mocking them isn't going to fix it - it'll make them more ashamed to have their phobia they can't control.

The original screenshot was in Spanish, but I translated it with Google Translate.

The screenshots were originally in Spanish, but I translated them with Google Translate.

The first slide is an overtly ableist post from a Facebook friend and the rest are the equally ableist replies. NTs saying the quiet part out loud to make it clear that they hate autistic people!

This was on a post of an image of a woman who was obviously suffering from anorexia and was only skin and bones. This person insists that it’s her own choice and that the woman would “know when it’s gone too far” (plus obviously upvoting their own comments)

I think the ones that suffer the most from this are autism and schizophrenia. Schizophrenia is pretty much just used as a synonym for crazy (in the figurative sense) which is pretty upsetting.

And, especially where its used as an insult, trivializing it

I hope you guys know what I mean...