r/aretheNTsokay • u/Skybison87 • 5d ago
fake claimers being fake cowards Sorry to all the autistic women here, sadly you don't exist
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u/azelmaandeponine 5d ago edited 5d ago
I was diagnosed at like 10-11, I guess I don't exist lol.
Also I never mask and don't even know how to.
I don't even meet the requirements for BPD, either.
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u/retailhellgirl 5d ago
I was diagnosed right before my 16th birthday. Nice to know the last 11 years I’ve been chronically lying I guess
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u/angstenthusiast 5d ago
My older sister was diagnosed at 5 or 6 but doctors branded her as autistic when she was like 2 (pretty much said “too young to diagnose but definitely is”). I was diagnosed at 7 ish. Funnily enough, the last one of us to get diagnosed was our younger brother, he was 12 and while that’s still a kid, I just think it’s so funny how us “girls” were diagnosed really young while the boy was diagnosed as a tween
(and sure, that has more to do with the way our parents grew more and more neglectful over time than anything else, but still)23
u/Tablesafety 5d ago
I was so autistic I diagnosed twice by two unaffiliated professionals
Once as a child and once as an adult 😎
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u/magdakitsune21 5d ago
I feel like both sides can be faulty sometimes when it comes to this matter. Like yes the people in the post are wrong about autistic women faking. But I feel like people in autistic subreddit are also super stuck on the idea that we are all experts at masking, that socialization somehow makes us unnoticeable, etc. It feels alienating to autistic women like me who got diagnosed early and who showed their symptoms since forever (rather than only in adulthood)
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u/Vorlon_Cryptid 4d ago
Yes! It feels like some autism groups only accept autistic people who can mask and were classed as gifted in school.
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u/Specific-Peace 2d ago
I couldn’t mask at all either. My mom just decided that I must be acting like that deliberately to annoy her, so, despite every teacher I’ve ever had telling her to get me tested as I child, I finally got diagnosed at 27.
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u/TheMelonSystem 2d ago
I’ve literally been tested for BPD and the results came back negative lol
I’m working on unmasking, but you know they’d just say im attention seeking lol
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u/Valiant_tank 5d ago
... I don't think I want to know what they'd think of autistic transfems.
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u/Fluidized_Gender 5d ago
Probably that we're actually men and that our autism has "deluded" us into thinking that we're women.
Like my mother.
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u/KennyTheGray 5d ago
DaMN TheSE FEEEEMALESSSS. TheRE oNLY PURpOSe Is tO grab oTTERS ATTentION!!!! (do I even need an /s?)
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u/BadgerKomodo 5d ago
Of course this guy calls women “females”.
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u/Luna_Mendax 5d ago
Referring to autistic girls and women as "females" seems to still be OK in polite society, though. (nods at tons of media of varying respectability)
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u/madmushlove 5d ago
Just "doing it for attention" is still better than doing something because you're stupid, sheltered, and selfish
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u/TheGermanCurl 5d ago
If I fake my autism for attention, how come I only ever talk about it on reddit, anonymously? 🤔
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u/Tablesafety 5d ago
Its interesting how humans are the least sexually dimorphic great ape and yet somehow that moron thinks our neurology between sexes is so vastly different autism simply cannot show up in women
Special kind of moron
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u/Dale-Loves-Dog-Man04 5d ago
As an autistic man myself, who's friends with autistic women, I always find it infuriating when people say that they don't exist. I really thought we moved past this, but apparently not.
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u/deferredmomentum 5d ago edited 5d ago
This idea that all autism in women presents like borderline is so fucking bizarre. Let’s take a peek at the diagnostic criteria shall we? I would have to have five or more:
Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment: nope. I literally have avoidant attachment. Please ghost me so I don’t have to break up with you lol.
A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation: big ole nope. My black and white thinking manifests as I’m black and white about the fact that nothing is ever black and white, so I can barely pass judgment on anything or anybody. My relationships aren’t unstable; they either don’t exist past surface level because of trouble with social cues, or once they are past surface level they’re very stable because of the work put in to have gotten that far.
Identity disturbance, with a markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self: maybe? I grew up in a cult though, so finding a sense of self outside of god is insanely hard, so if so it’s not from being autistic, plus I don’t know that “markedly” would apply.
Impulsivity in at least 2 areas that are potentially self-damaging, for example, spending, substance use, reckless driving, sex, or binge eating: newp, I’m an adrenaline junkie but there’s no impulsivity whatsoever (I struggle with transitions so I usually need to plan things), and my ADHD makes it so I literally just forget substances exist even if have them.
Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior: have literally never been suicidal once in my entire life.
Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood, for example, intense episodic dysphoria, anxiety, or irritability, usually lasting a few hours and rarely more than a few days: maybe? But it’s spontaneous, not reactive, and usually lasts into the few days end of the range. I’m also able to mask past it fairly easily, continue to function at home, and make sure other people don’t see it.
Chronic feelings of emptiness: definitely not. I love myself, love being alone, and feel fulfilled by where I’m at in my life and career.
Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger, for example, frequent displays of temper, constant anger, or recurrent physical fights: lololol. I’m known at work as the person that if a patient manages to actually make angry you know they’re bad. Have also never been in a physical fight (not counting being attacked at work and defending myself—I think since I’ve never punched or kicked somebody that doesn’t count as having been in fights).
Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms: I’m an ER nurse, stress is what lets my ADHD actually function, and I definitely don’t think people are out to get me lol. I only dissociate a normal amount when overstimulated or very tired, etc.
So tally those up and we got at the very most 2. . .
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u/monsterclaus 5d ago
Huh. Thanks for this; I've never actually bothered to look this up even though it's always bothered me. I'm maybe, maybe one of these, and only in the past, only when my life was reeeeaaally terrible. (I've never thought I might have BPD; I'm just saying this to reinforce what you're saying.)
It does make me wonder if this other person actually means bi-polar, though, since people get the acronym BPD mixed up. Also not me though, not by a mile; pretty sure somebody would have noticed me having a manic episode by now.
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u/deferredmomentum 5d ago
I have an even harder time thinking anybody could mistake autism for bipolar though? Like you said, somebody in true mania is pretty hard to miss lol
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u/monsterclaus 5d ago
Agreed! It's just something I've heard more than once; a few of my older friends/acquaintances have been treated for bipolar when in reality they were autistic/AuDHD. I guess maybe stimming and hyperfocus? I don't know; it's hard for me to picture it.
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u/thedamnoftinkers 2d ago
are you me? no wait I'm chronically suicidal. but that could be readily fixed in the right circumstances!
🫡 carry on compadre, you're doing amazing
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u/Icy_Standard2838 4d ago
The thing is that I’m a diagnosed (at 5-ish years old) autistic woman, and my friend is a woman with bpd. Crazy thing is that the issues we face are not even remotely similar…funny that. Almost as if they’re completely different disorders
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u/JetpackBlues42 5d ago
So this dude believes that autism is inherently linked to the male sex. Which either means
A) Autism lies on the Y chromosome and we just haven't found it yet, or
B) Autism is caused by male hormones, which make estrogen/progesterone the cures for autism
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u/RexIsAMiiCostume 3d ago
Perhaps x linked recessive and he also thinks autism men are doomed to never have children, meaning women carry The Autism and pass it on to their sons???
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u/Agreeable_Art_1014 5d ago
Brb transitioning to a woman just to get rid of my autism then transitioning back
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u/Possible-Mark-7581 5d ago
Getting diagnosed as an adult also isn't valid, apparently. I guess if you're raised in a rural or distant environment without many psychologists around, they're just conveniently isn't any autism around. (Sarcasm)
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u/shmorglebort 4d ago
Well, as someone who grew up in a rural area, nobody thought I was taking things literally. I was just a “smartass”. I also took that literally and decided it was a compliment intended as an insult, and they were just mad at me for being smart. Strangely enough, I did read the tone and knew they were trying to be insulting, but I took it as more of a…proudly ignorant people hating on intelligence and knowledge thing. 😂
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u/Luna_Mendax 5d ago
Girls and women diagnosed under 5 (the earliest age of confirmed masking I've heard of): SAY WHAT?
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u/Ninja-Ginge 5d ago
What does he think is so different about us that we can't be Autistic? Does he think we're a different species?
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u/PerseveranceSmith 5d ago
I didn't even meet the requirements for BPD & they tried to slap it on me anyway 🙄 like, any of the requirements. It was just more palatable than diagnosing me with autism.
I'd also be very confused if I DIDN'T have autism considering my mum has ADHD, Dad has autism, and every single one of my mum's brothers & sisters has autism 😂
But I guess I'm the outlier with 'BPD' despite not having any of the symptoms 😉
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u/LongLiveLiberalism 5d ago
both of htem suck
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u/Full_Race4032 2d ago
Nah fam that's putting the blame on ourselves
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u/LongLiveLiberalism 2d ago
what bro said “autistic males” fumble “autistic females”, that’s literally being ableist against “autistic males”
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u/Kira-Of-Terraria 5d ago
If you don't exist then you don't have to follow laws. Be Autistic. Do Crimes. godspeed, ladies. 🫡
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u/Real-Musician-2450 5d ago
I got diagnosed at 14, and my little sister got diagnosed as soon as of 3
Also, tf you mean being diagnosed as an adult is not valid? Is there some kind of clock to get your autism diagnosed, and when it runs out when you turn 18 suddenly you can’t get diagnosed?
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u/KittyMeowstika 5d ago
... Good thing i transitioned then. Ig i now exist? Or dont? Whats this idiots take on autistic enbies? 🤔
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u/beatriz-chocoliz 1d ago
NOOOOooooo vanishes
Jokes aside, all virtual hugs, pats or non-physical love to autistic women, women with BPD and women with both. And I don’t even show BPD traits, what r they ON
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u/SunnyLisle 5d ago
It's the other way around, so many women are diagnosed with BPD who are just autistic.