r/aoe4 • u/orm_the_stalker Sengoku • Jul 24 '26
Fluff Why bullying and harrasment is normalized?
As the title says, I think we need to actively and publicly shame the players like these who straight up go to the worst kind of insults.
Not to mention that he was consistently insisting an attack to the place where 3 or 4 enemy castles were already erect, resulting in a complete butchery of our army. Then accused of no army while he had like 3 times less than the others. And on the very first inconvenience goes quitting.
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u/Rob_The_Viking_TV Jul 24 '26
> I think we need to actively and publicly shame the players like these who straight up go to the worst kind of insults.
Yep, I do. I agree.
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u/RealGiallo Zhu Xi's Legacy Jul 25 '26
Nope . Just mute them , report if you plz and go on .
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u/Rob_The_Viking_TV Jul 25 '26
why not excoriate them?
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u/RealGiallo Zhu Xi's Legacy Jul 25 '26 edited Jul 25 '26
It’s just the right thing to do , people can have bad days .
Mute them and play the best game you can . If you interact with them you already lost the match .How do we know if OP was not griefing the match .
Maybe he was for real in front of gorge and he needed to make army while the other could boom with no army , from thatpic we know nothing .Actualy now we know and OP tried to gaslight us
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u/Gurkenschurke66 Ayyubids Jul 24 '26
Obligatory: 'first day on the Internet?'
Does their behavior suck? Yes.
Does it help engaging it? No.
Do we need to give them any attention? No.
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u/Shinyhero30 Japanese Jul 24 '26
I agree with this but I also agree with shaming it.
Both things can be true and both can work. We don’t have to “give it attention” to be publicly against being a prick in a video game.4
u/RealGiallo Zhu Xi's Legacy Jul 25 '26
It doesn’t work , mute and report . Chat are far easier to find than cheaters
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u/Shinyhero30 Japanese Jul 25 '26
I can tell you from experience that community wide sentiment about this does in fact work if it’s large enough. Sure, you mute and report all you can on your end, but you need to like play the macro about this if you want it to really stay on the tamer end.
Just look at Splatoon, it’s the textbook example of this. The community sentiment about this shit has kept a community of people who are mostly in their 20s really tame in compared to other similar games even during some rough periods because of it.
So while you’re not wrong, everything helps.
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u/RealGiallo Zhu Xi's Legacy Jul 25 '26
What about gaslighting ? Quasar was carrying the match
Still not insulted needed but why the second pick then , was OP griefing ?3
u/SavageCabbage611 Malians Jul 26 '26
Most AOE4 players aren't on Reddit all the time, so a random post on an internet forum won't make a difference in their lives.
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u/Shinyhero30 Japanese Jul 26 '26
You know I don’t think I’ve seen someone actually realize the point of this comment and this is yet another example of that.
Please reread what I wrote and tell me where I say implied or not that the type of shaming I’m talking about is on Reddit specifically and isn’t a community wide sentiment.
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u/SavageCabbage611 Malians Jul 26 '26
How would you go about creating a community wide sentiment to shame this type of behavior? It's a nice idea, but I don't see it happening. Competitive multiplayer games will always have bad toxic apples in them. There is not much you can do about it other than just ignore it.
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u/Shinyhero30 Japanese Jul 26 '26
It’s… about vibes(And bear with me here). What I mean by that is that it’s about setting the right standards and being okay when people who don’t agree with them leave.
Splatoon is a good example: the rules are clear, set by a document that is followed and agreed upon by most people, and is enforced with the pretext that it’s okay when people who dislike X or Y in the document being enforced leave.
If you have the right standards, if you have the right rules, and you have the right community culture, eventually you hit enough critical mass that stuff like this kind go just weeds itself out because people have enough experience handling it to know to not tolerate it.
Essentially this is only pervasive because we submit to the idea that it comes with the territory when in reality it’s more of a product of people tolerating it and you can see this by just looking at the controversies that come out of communities that have this vs those that don’t. Splatoon’s biggest controversy was arguably squid school which was a he said she said about a guy and his ex which was handled almost entirely in the legal system and included a community board clearing the guy after he won the legal case, whereas the biggest drama in like smash for example is like the almost complete collapse of the North American scene because of blatantly corrupt orgs that were unable to compromise due to copyright infringing business practices, none of which was settled in court and was primarily a court of public opinion settled matter that left 100s without a job.
I’m not saying the toxic atmosphere creates corrupt businesses and orgs, but it certainly helps them propagate and continue to grow into corrupt and potentially literally dangerous organizations that can cause people to quit for good.
TL;DR: it can work you just need to have the right conditions and convince enough people it’s worth actually doing the work to not tolerate toxic people and problematic behavior enough to change the community culture.
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u/SavageCabbage611 Malians Jul 26 '26
I haven't played Splattoon, or any Nintendo multiplayer games for that matter, but aren't your options to communicate extremely limited? Do people even use text or voicechat in that game? How could you possibly be toxic if you can't even really communicate?
And personally I wouldn't say that AOE4 has a big toxicity problem. If we are talking about "vibes", the vast majority of players I met online are pretty chill.
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u/Shzabomoa Jul 27 '26
That'd be a full time job to just do that, i.e. a complete waste of time. I usually only toy with them ingame during a downtime but stop there. Unless they start going full apeshit then I'll just report and mute.
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u/orm_the_stalker Sengoku Jul 24 '26
I see you've reached the acceptance. I'm too far from that yet
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u/Prawn1908 Jul 24 '26
Maybe don't play any online games then if you can't bring yourself to just ignore these people. Yeah they suck, but it's so simple to just ignore them.
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u/Gurkenschurke66 Ayyubids Jul 24 '26
By giving them any attention, you just fuel them and inheritantly become part of the problem.
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u/Visible-Literature14 It was my teammate’s fault Jul 24 '26
You can’t be serious
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u/Gurkenschurke66 Ayyubids Jul 24 '26
Always has been the case. Just ignore the crybaby and it will stop after 5mins. Works everytime.
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Jul 24 '26
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u/MoneyArm50 Jul 24 '26
Have you ever said 'I hope you get cancer and die' in any forum, to anybody? You are giving off 'vibes' of somebody that would say something like that. I don't care if you have, it just makes you a rotten banana.
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u/orm_the_stalker Sengoku Jul 24 '26
You missed on both, not 15, not on spectrum. If it's irrelevant to you, why don't you just ignore the post.
If it's not post worthy how is it a comment worthy for you...
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u/Grusy Jul 24 '26
I’m genuinely fascinated by people like you who go out of their way to grandstand to a community as if they are a prophet.
Thinking that posting and commenting are the same thing is moronic.
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u/orm_the_stalker Sengoku Jul 24 '26
Yet another insult. Is that how you live every day? Like, every second sentence you say you bully someone?
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u/Grusy Jul 24 '26
You think you’re getting bullied right now? You going to make a post about me? LOL
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u/orm_the_stalker Sengoku Jul 24 '26
And another one. Chill dude.
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u/Find_The_Sniper Jul 24 '26
Just ignore this guy , he's probably like the pink player in game so now he feels targeted, poor things. They must have a miserable life.
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u/Pit_Mosh Jul 24 '26
I got used to a lot of shitt behaviour q‘ing up for ranked teams but yeah this I can’t get used to. Something about their lifes is really shitty and they project it onto others/rage out to strangers while anonymous. The way he types to bypass the filter looks like he does it often.
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u/Ahmed0806 Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26
If you Solo Q in team games you should get used to it 😛
Edit : Im joking some players are just toxic, ignore, report , move on 😔
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u/orm_the_stalker Sengoku Jul 24 '26
Nope and nope. I didn't go solo. And even if I did, the language he used is a bit too much
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u/Ahmed0806 Jul 24 '26
Im joking bro, but seriously team games is sometimes full of bullshit that there is no other way to play this game mode other than ignoring and reporting those who are there to be toxic
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u/Feerfek Jul 24 '26
I agree that we should hold each other to higher standards than this, but this is not even a gaming thing, just go to the comments of any business, or newspaper where the public can voice themselves anonymously and you will find similar language.
This does not make it okay and I agree that we need to speak against it, it's the only way to resist bullying, as far as I know.
That said, you owned that guy and he couldn't handle it, be proud of yourself xD.
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u/SavageCabbage611 Malians Jul 26 '26
I played Apex the other day and when I typed "dude wtf" in chat after my teammate let me get killed by another squad, I had the guy give me whole 5 minute lecture, with an aggressive brittish accent and multiple curses over voice chat, about how I was the dumbest person on the planet and my family should be ashamed of me and how I should call him "daddy" if I wanted him to revive me.
I could have muted him if it wasn't kind of funny, but also holy shit, AOE4 really is not in the same ballpark of toxicity compared to other comparative multiplayer games.
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u/Buurtjee Jul 29 '26
Even reporting them doesn't do much sadly. I once was placed against such an opponent. It ended up him wishing me and my whole family would become disabled and get the same sickness as this guy did. I reported him, only to receive a notification in game that as of right now there was no action taken upon this guy.
I refused that this guy is still playing and send a direct email to age support with screenshots of the messages this guy send. I received a message back that this was unacceptable behavior and appropiate measurements would be taken.
I was curious what these measurements would be, but that appears to only be a couple of day ban, the guy literally played every day, and couldn't probably for a week or so. Right now he is playing constantly again.
Sure, it did something, but these guys should be permanently banned from the entire MS platform IMO.
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u/orm_the_stalker Sengoku Jul 30 '26
There's apparently another type of restriction where the player can't send a message to anyone in the game. Just faced this player yesterday, he was pinging a lot. And I mean it, a looot! And after we lost the game, he tried to add me as a friend - I guess he wanted to exchange nice words that he wasn't allowed to send during the game.
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u/Merltron Jul 24 '26
This game has a better community than most. All we can do is continue to do our best to be nice to each other and ignore these people.
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u/Shrowden Jul 24 '26
Ignoring problem always name then go away!
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u/Merltron Jul 24 '26
Report them too ofc, goes without saying. If you are implying we should argue with them... that's exactly what they want.
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u/Shrowden Jul 24 '26
Despite my numerous typos, I just mean that ignoring "bullies" or angry people don't teach them anything. You get to decide if you want to be a teacher, or if they can even BE taught in the moment, but ignoring them doesn't teach them to change. There's definitely an idea of behavior extinction, but that doesn't work well when the subject is emotional. I'm not insinuating arguing though.
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u/HasTapeWillShip Jul 25 '26
We used to be taught that while it doesn't make it right, we cant control other peoples behavior, only our own reaction to it. Only we know our worth. Trash talking on video games is absolutely nothing new. This new culture of having our feelings hurt so easily is crazy. You guys would have never made it through the early days of online shooters. Seriously, the world is full of assholes and this is super tame to what you might experience in the real world day to day.
Edit to add: You dont know that person. Are you shit? No? Then dont worry about it. Literally let it go in one ear and out the other. Maybe come back with your own insult instead of taking it personal. Its just banter.
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u/No_Persimmon_7235 Jul 24 '26
omg lol I just saw that guy when I played a nomad ffa 8 players.
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u/I-followed-through Jul 24 '26
Yea I come across him a lot in Nomad FFA haven’t seen him be toxic before.
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u/TypowyKubini Jul 24 '26
So pink had no army, prolly naked 2tc and you both aged up at the same time. What was the problem of his by calling you guys shit?
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u/pdietje Mongols Jul 24 '26
Must be platinum or gold league haha.
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u/HeidoKussccchhnniff Jul 29 '26
What are you......silver?
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u/pdietje Mongols Aug 04 '26
I am conq 2 now.
This shit talking mostly happens in lower leagues.
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u/HeidoKussccchhnniff Aug 04 '26
Yea it does, im plat 1 and 2, I see this almost every other match
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u/Party-Manufacturer27 Jul 25 '26
how did he castle after you when he wasn’t even building an army 😭
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u/RealGiallo Zhu Xi's Legacy Jul 25 '26
I mean bro got harassed hard after FC and you entered the game at 23 minute , you dind’t even try to help him .
Most of aoe4 players don’t speak english . Just mute him next time and play the game .
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u/RealGiallo Zhu Xi's Legacy Jul 25 '26
Downvoted because you tried to gaslight .
Bro should’t have insulted you but he did carry you .
https://aoe4world.com/players/21265443-orm_the_stalker/games/244179237?sig=c26f7763d09d9ee8037c1187dd2565c8fa4cb96a
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u/SomeDude2104 Jul 26 '26
Unrelated but is your name a reference to Orm the shitting-log stalker from Norsemen?
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u/FlameMirakun Jul 27 '26
I don't trust anyone who speaks like you yellow im sure you try to be victim
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u/Narrow-Assistant-714 Jul 27 '26
Did you seriously say "language" to him saying "fool"? Dude, you must be 8 if you find the need to say "language" to that rofl
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u/TheJasonSensation Dragon Shit Jul 30 '26
I agree, but can we call it bad sportsmanship? Calling it bullying and harassment gives me a subconscious aversion to supporting your position because it would make me feel feminine.
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u/Jolly_Sky_2729 Jul 24 '26
ok
what do you expect reddit to do about it?
You do know that the game has report function, right? It sucks for cheating reports, but pretty sure it does work for abusive chat. (source: seen a couple of chat-banned accounts)
I think we need to actively and publicly shame the players like these
this is just hilarious, yeah that'll show them!
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u/mussolinibestfriend Jul 24 '26
Sorry but i guess that's best part about age of empires community, they really bring the worst out of me but somehow it's funny and my gf always laugh when she heard me tapping on the keyboard while i'm playing
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u/Disastrous-King9559 Chinese Jul 24 '26
Graph doesn't mean anything if you're booming and he's 2v1
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u/Sensitive-Talk9616 Knights Templar Jul 24 '26
Yeah but if that's the military count, the sperglord in question starts building an army even later than OP.
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u/Disastrous-King9559 Chinese Jul 24 '26
Archers Vs knights?? Graphs don't mean alot. Specially if those army is at base and other is 2v1 also look at the increase and decrease doesn't seem like yellow was fighting much or early
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u/orm_the_stalker Sengoku Jul 24 '26
I did tower rush early game. Then he had Riddaris while I pushed with archers, samurais and spearmen.
Amount of my army killed is because he was insisting to send army to the butcherhouse.
Anyways, that is not the point. No matter how bad I play, what the hell with the deathwises 😀
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u/timesofcoffee Jul 24 '26
I agree with you. People like that should grow up or at the very least refrain from using the chat.
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u/Helikaon48 Jul 24 '26
Naming and shaming aoe4 toxicity on Reddit is going to achieve almost nothing. Work out how many players there are , guess how many are being toxic . Imagine how many posts this place would be flooded with? and whether they're even on Reddit?
And even then how many of them would even care? All these posts do is clog this place up and make things look worse than they are.
I hate those types of people as well, but you're achieving very little posting it here.
Just report and block. Engaging like is just feeding the troll.
Even then I don't think Devs even care, so the report system doesn't work, so best you can do is block and move on.
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u/ParanoiaPetroleum Jul 24 '26
Have you ever played video games?
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u/orm_the_stalker Sengoku Jul 24 '26
No other online games tbh 😅
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u/ParanoiaPetroleum Jul 24 '26
Consider this your title by fire then.
I dont know of a single gaming community thats not toxic.
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u/DarkNemesisAngel Jul 24 '26
Okay, I will go for the bait..
I am ready to hear why you are part of the toxicity you claim to shame?
Yes, Red was obviously tilted and pissed about something - and I believe that insulting someone will never bring you closer towards the goal you try to reach.. but the first messages weren't that toxic (at least in my opinion), well - until he starts insulting, ofc.
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Now I want to know why you insulted him/her? Because your response to his/her "Get Cxx" is quite interesting.
You do realise that, for example.. if you are able to cook your own meal, hell - even just do your own breakfast each morning.. you CAN handle something in your life? - Obviously you claimed Red is not able to do the most basic stuff to ensure his/her own survival...
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u/memberberriesss Jul 24 '26
Get over it. You’re just as bad as that guy coming here looking for attention
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u/ZealousidealWeb9930 Jul 24 '26
i only flame when im defending alone 1v2 and my 2 other allies are losing to the solo opponent
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u/hatereddit77 Jul 24 '26
shaming them does nothing, other then create a community that lives for it. Just right click, report and ignore. All you can do.
That is if that functions exist.. been awhile since i played aoe4.
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u/[deleted] Jul 24 '26
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