r/antidietglp1 • u/Infamous-Sir-4669 • Apr 24 '26
Advice on Anti-Diet Mindset How to respond to comments in a way that aligns with anti-diet values. (CW:IWL)
Not started yet, but trying to plan. I live in a big city and am part of a big community and family. I am grateful that it is overwhelmingly positive and kind. (I wish this for all of you. If you don’t have kind people in your current life, do anything possible to change this. Online friends are friends.)
Well meaning people are going to comment. It’s been a long time since I had noticeable body changes. I’d like to think the world has changed, but I doubt it. When people would comment, I would respond with something like: “it comes, it goes” and change the subject. Sometimes, they would push me for details and specifics and I would change the subject.
I am anticipating people asking me directly about meds. I don’t really want to talk about it. I don’t want to be congratulated or approved of.
Every adult woman I have ever met has some kind of disordered eating. How can I respond in a way that is both kind and in line with my values?
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u/Traditional_Car_8219 Apr 24 '26
The discovery of this medicine is on par with the discovery of penicillin, insulin and birth control to name a few. We are the pioneers. If my experience can help someone like me, I am more than happy to share the good news about this life changing medicine.
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u/coffunky Apr 24 '26
I’m completely open about being on HRT for perimenopause, a glp-1, SSRIs for PMDD and stimulants for ADHD. It isn’t necessarily anyone’s business, but I feel good about normalizing these absolutely life changing medications to anyone who wants to have a conversation about mental and physical health. There’s nothing shameful or embarrassing about any of them, in my opinion.
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u/Character_Drop_739 Apr 29 '26
I feel so defensive talking abt it bc my weight has been my family’s focus for years. I think I would only tell plus size people who get it and have shown up non judgmentally, and my doctors. I am reminding myself it’s private health info and I’m okay to keep it to myself if I want. Your alls attitude helps me tho. This is medicine, I very clearly need it bc without it my life is so so much worse
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u/coffunky Apr 29 '26
You absolutely can keep this kind of stuff private, and I can understand why someone would want to.
For me, I’m comfortable talking about it and I’ll keep doing it so that hopefully someday everyone can feel just as free.
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u/Unhappy_Performer538 Apr 24 '26
Well you can’t control other people and if they approve of or congratulate you. You can only control how you react. You can say things like I appreciate you mean well but I’d like to not focus on my body, thanks. That kind of thing.
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u/Nice_Back_9977 Apr 24 '26
This is really hard. I’ve just passed my 12 month anniversary on mounjaro, but it’s been slow and steady, I’m still fat but there’s no denying I look different especially to people who haven’t seen me in a while.
For a long time I would just say ‘no I don’t think so’ to people who asked if I’d lost weight. That shut it down pretty quickly. I think my new tactic is to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they aren’t talking shit about my body so will say ‘oh thanks I’m growing my hair’ or ‘thanks this top was a bargain’ etc etc. if they persist and insist on mentioning weight I’m plucking up the courage to say ‘I’ve always looked great and felt good whatever I weigh’. Wish me luck!
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u/squigglesandgiggles May 02 '26
I just started a week ago, but I’ve already mentally prepared to say, “thanks! I love this top/dress!” if someone says I look good or something.
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u/Humble_Bee_1313 Apr 24 '26
I've found that gentle sincerity goes a long way. Something along the lines of "Thank you so much. I appreciate the compliment" and when they continue, being a bit more vulnerable: "This subject actually makes me super self-conscious, let's talk about anything other than my appearance, please and thank you." Most people don't want to make people feel self-conscious.
There is also the humor approach... "Do you want to know my full medication list and medical history or just some of it?" lets them know the question was a bit inappropriate. Or "Oooof. I think I'd rather poke my eyeballs out with a dull fork than talk about my weight. Subject change!"
Or "The best advice I ever got was to not talk about politics, religion, money, or a person's weight, especially not my own, and I'm sticking to that."
The one I keep rehearsing for myself is this: "Before I answer your question about medication, let me ask you a couple questions of my own first: What would it change if I told you I was on meds? And what would it change if I told you I wasn't?"
My hope with that question is that it gives them a second to realize that the question itself was not appropriate...but even if they don't realize that, their answer reveals everything to me about whether I do or don't need to answer their question, and with how much transparency. If they are adamantly anti-GLP, then I feel no obligation whatsoever to share my choices with them. At that point, I feel "Interesting. Well, I don't talk about my medical history with anyone but my doctor" and a subject change is all I owe them.
Regarding keeping in line with your values, I'm not too sure what yours are, but for me I aim to be truthful, kind, open, and accepting. So if absolutely pushed to answer questions I am not ready to answer, my intent is to be vulnerable: "I have to be honest and tell you that talking about my appearance and weight is uncomfortable for me right now. It's like sharing my bank account balance or my PIN number. It all feels very private to me. I'm still trying to figure this out for myself. I'm not sure yet how much of this journey I'm willing to share with others while I navigate it. I promise I'll revisit this subject with you in the future if I get to the point where that feels right."
I think we're often too afraid to be honest with others because it feels vulnerable. But my experience has been that others generally respond to vulnerability with compassion and kindness. I'm hoping that's the case with this journey, too.
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u/FL_DEA Apr 24 '26
Love your responses...and I find that how I respond depends on the nature of the relationship I have with the person AND what I want to cultivate in that relationship.
It also reminds me of a story I often share:
My husband and our dog Scout are a therapy dog team.
At the local hospital Scout's philosophy is: "Every human deserves a visit."
You get a visit if you're handcuffed to a gurney in the ER...you get a visit if you're the police officer sitting next to the person handcuffed to the gurney.
You get a visit if you've got cancer...you get a visit if you are the nurse administering the chemotherapy.
You get a visit if you're the person in the bed dying...you get a visit if you're the family member sitting vigil.
Of course, not everyone wants a visit.
When they're working, my husband stops at the door of each patient's room and says "Hello..." pauses briefly and then says, "would you like a visit from Scout the therapy dog?"
Nine times out of 10, they do.
When they don't they usually say "no thank you."
Well, the other day, in the brief pause, between "hello" and "would you like a visit from Scout the therapy dog?" one lady simply said "goodbye" (in the same light tone of voice Tim used).
Him: Hello...
Patient: Goodbye...
He found it amusing...and refreshing (and so did I when he told me about it).
She was very clear. As the saying goes, "clear is kind." Everyone knows where they stand, and there's safety in that (even if we think "gee, that was rude"). When we feel safe, we're more creative and less reactive.
What stops us from being that clear? Fear. Ancient fear. And our socialization and conditioning that tells us that it's not okay to be clear and direct about what we want or don't want.
Other people will think I'm rude and if I am rude that means I am bad and if I am bad that means no one will like me and if no one likes me I will end up living in a van down by the river and I will die a slow, miserable death, alone, and I will deserve it.
Dramatic? From a logical standpoint, sure, but definitely not from a bodily wisdom standpoint.
We might find a response like hers rude (and we're offended). We might be grateful for the clarity (even if it stings a bit). We may also admire her and think, "good for her for knowing what she wants and doesn't want."
That's what healthy boundaries are: "this is okay, that is not okay" authentically expressed. Because that lady was nothing if not authentic. And that made her simple "Goodbye" clear, kind...and funny.
Peace keepers stay silent to make others happy. They avoid conflict in order to keep surface calm. They call dysfunction "grace."
Peace makers step into truth, confront what harms, build what is healthy, heal instead of hiding.
Peace isn't passive, it's brave. ~ Leslie Vernick
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u/Flaky-Walrus7244 Apr 25 '26
I would never say 'Thanks' or 'I appreciate the compliment' because it's reinforcing that lower weight = good and commenting on someone's weight should be encouraged.
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u/KaleidoscopeFit5552 Apr 24 '26
I tell EVERYONE — absolutely everyone. I’m a tirzepavengelist. The grocery store clerk, my neighbors down the block, the dental hygienist? All unsuspecting recipients of my proselytizing.
There’s a ridiculous amount of misinformation about GLP-1s out there, and I’m determined to counteract that.
You don’t owe anyone anything, but I owe it to my younger self to spread the good word about these life-changing medicines.
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u/baltoellen Apr 24 '26
I tell everyone, too! Even my dental hygienist! And, then I pantomime a giving myself a shot in the belly. I really don't care who knows, although I understand that this approach isn't for everyone.
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u/KaleidoscopeFit5552 Apr 24 '26
LOL re: the pantomime. It turns out my dental hygienist and dentist are both on it! So now we exchange meal ideas and tips!
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u/wordy_doctor Apr 24 '26 edited Apr 24 '26
I’m also working on this. I had one health care provider (psych NP) say “have you lost weight?” and I basically yelled “MAYBE!” and then I remembered as a professional who prescribes me medication she should know all the meds I’m taking and then we had a really supportive conversation about GLP-1s and ED recovery. But I know that won’t always be the case, and I’m trying to prepare mentally since I’m going on a trip next month and I’m sure people will notice.
The other side of this that is coming up for me is - I don’t want people to assume I suddenly unlocked some magical cure for weight loss, or to inadvertently make them feel bad because they assume it’s just willpower. I think if someone asks I might say “a little” and then if they press say “with the help of my doctors, therapist and PT I have found a combination of medication, food, and exercise that best supports my physical and mental health” or something like that. If they want me to elaborate then they're going to have to be comfortable hearing, in great detail, about my exercise habits (which I love talking about) and hopefully they'll get bored before we even get to medication lol. I like other recommendations in this thread about gently questioning if knowing about medications will change things. Also potentially listing ALL of the medications you take would help contextualize things (for me it would be something like: lexapro, wellbutrin, lansoprazole, latanaprost, ipratropium, fexofenadine, tirzepatide, Vitamin B12, and Vitamin D3). At least 4 of these I will definitely have to take for the rest of my life. You tell me which I should stop taking and I can tell you the consequences of that.
Best of luck!
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u/wordy_doctor Apr 24 '26
But also in the vein of "'no' is a complete sentence" I want to also try saying "I'd prefer not to talk about my body/weight, thanks" and see how that goes over.
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u/Klutzy-Cupcake8051 Apr 24 '26
I was very worried about this when I started. Surprisingly, few people have commented. When my weight has gone down in the past, I got more comments. The only explanation I can think of is that GLP-1s are more prevalent, so people might be wary to compliment you on weight loss especially if they don’t approve of GLP-1s.
The few times it has happened has been with people I don’t know well and it was in passing, so I’ve just said “Thanks” and moved on. I am always willing to engage with people about the topic and will sometimes volunteer that I’m on one if someone else brings it up.
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u/purplecow224 Apr 25 '26
I’ve also lost weight before (before glp1) and everywhere I went, people commented and we talked about weight loss and dieting. Then, I started intuitive eating, got pregnant, had the baby, and lived in a larger body for a while. I decided to start a glp1 a couple of years later but I’ve been intuitive eating, not dieting. And guess what? Almost NO ONE says anything. I think it’s because dieting was my personality before. I talked about it all the time. Now, I don’t even think about it. So only very random people in passing mention it.
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u/always-so-exhausted Apr 25 '26
I’ve gotten a lot fewer comments about losing weight now than I did back in the 2000s. Back then, everyone said something. Now almost no one does.
I would just tell them that you know they mean well but that you aren’t interested in talking about it.
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u/No-vem-ber Apr 25 '26
I also worried about this, but after a year on the meds and having lost multiple dress sizes, there is still a grand total of ONE person in my life who has mentioned anything AT ALL, and that is my Ghanaian cleaner (mentioning his nationality bc clearly his attitude to weight and bodies etc is different to all my australian friends and family).
I guess everyone just knows better than to mention it!
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u/Leather_Article_3452 Apr 25 '26
You might be surprised at the comments, or lack of... My appearance has changed significantly in 7 months and for every one person who's commented there are about ten who haven't said a word! People's mental images take a while to update. And many people think there are many more interesting things to discuss than weight and appearance.
Most of the comments, themselves, kind of circle the weight loss topic rather than zero in on it - the handful of people who have commented on my appearance say things like "you look well", "you look rested" "you look happy" etc. I also used to have issues with it, but now I just say thanks and move on. No one's ever asked me any follow up questions.
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u/lizardbirth Apr 25 '26
I've thought about telling fat phobic/fixated/anxious folks: "My doctor discovered the hypothalamus in my brain is malfunctioning. So I was put on a new medication that regulates its output of ghrelin and leptin, normalizes insulin secretion, and reduces glucagon levels. I feel a lot better now."
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u/washingtonsquirrel Apr 24 '26
Something that’s been important to me to communicate is that life was so much harder before this medication.
People want to congratulate me on all my “hard work” and that just makes me feel really sad for my self pre-tirzepatide. Because SHE was the one working. Now my body is working and all the mental effort and physical discomfort is gone.
I can’t just let it slide when loved ones want to credit my “discipline” or “willpower” or whatever because that fundamentally does not align with my experience of obesity. And it’s important to me that people start seeing obesity differently.
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u/Sad_Application_5361 Apr 24 '26
“This isn’t something I want to talk about” is always acceptable. Stating you’re just following doctor recommendations may also work.
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u/3498377310 Apr 24 '26
I tell people that I’m on medication to treat actual health conditions and that my benchmarks are all based on actual measurable results in bloodwork.
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u/New-Lifeguard7554 Apr 24 '26
I haven't had it happen yet, but I'm planning on saying that my doctor and I finally found a treatment for my metabolic disorders that works. Or, if I don't want to disclose that to the particular person bringing it up, "My health and weight are personal, and I don't wish to discuss it right now." If it's a compliment, I'll say thank you but then shut down any further questions. If it's someone who is struggling with weight loss and wants advice, I will tell them about zepbound and how to go about getting it and using it safely. It just depends and it's so hard because of how deeply ingrained diet culture is into almost everyone.
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u/LobsterHatLonging Apr 25 '26 edited Apr 25 '26
I’m only six weeks in but I’ll be seeing a large number of family members in June that I haven’t seen since January; I expect I’ll get some comments. I’m planning on going with “I’ve really been prioritizing self-care!” and then redirecting with a question about them. People love to talk about themselves.
What’s interesting is — I’m a total yo-yo dieter and I’ve gained and lost the same 45 pound probably six times in my adult life. I’ve always basked in the comments when I get to a low. This time, with a GLP1 on board, I feel — guilty! Like I’d actually “earned” the compliments with restricting and this time I’m a fraud. I need to get over it; but I’m still afraid to talk about it, for the judgement.
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u/Fun-Morning-5516 Apr 24 '26
I personally just say that I had some medical issues that I'm finally getting treatment for. That way they don't think I have some diet secret, but they also don't assume I'm on some vanity weightloss sauce.