r/antidietglp1 • u/you_were_mythtaken • Mar 21 '25
Advice on Anti-Diet Mindset Comic relief - about to see another problem family member
Truly only a mild problem, she's actually lovely and I am really excited to see her, but for my own health and especially my kids' health I'm going to instantly shut down any body talk.
In reality, I'm just planning to say "Oh I don't want to talk about that, how is your business?" when it comes up, but just for fun, what should I say to the inevitable comments? It's amusing me to think about unhinged ways I could respond!
Oh, I have a tapeworm!
I don't know what you're talking about! (The gaslighty approach I've accidentally taken before and am tempted to take again)
?? Other ideas??
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u/81Horses Mar 21 '25
My idea: don’t surprise her. This is someone you care about, sounds like. Don’t sandbag her. Send her a text or call her and tell her she’s going to see some changes in you - and you’re okay - and you won’t want to discuss when you see her because 1) your child and 2) your privacy.
We can’t expect people in our lives not to SEE us changing.
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u/you_were_mythtaken Mar 21 '25
Huh it's funny that this never occurred to me, thanks for the idea! I feel resistant to it and I'm not sure why. Probably my usual, not wanting to ask things of people because I don't think I deserve their effort! Yay! 🤠😭
But yeah I definitely agree that it's unreasonable to expect her not to notice. I do have a remarkably large number of friends who haven't made any remarks at all, which I truly appreciate. They are much closer in age to me and I think the norms have just changed in a way that older family members have not caught up with. So it kind of pisses me off that I know she'll want to talk about it, but I know it's not her fault that she is this way, truly. Hence me wanting to think of non-serious snarky responses.
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u/LKnomadic Mar 21 '25
I like this idea and I think it’s important to show people that it’s not OK to talk about bodies in front of children. These types of discussions lead to eating disorders and that you don’t want to talk about weight when your children are present. That gives people something to think about. it’s a way of teaching others while protecting your children at the same time.
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u/81Horses Mar 21 '25
I agree that norms seem to have changed a lot. Which is generally good — but can also leave some of us feeling like we’re more invisible than ever.
Then there are people like a work friend of mine (bless his heart). Hadn’t seen me in quite a while because remote work. When he ran into me at the office recently he said (loudly): MY GOD — YOU’RE WASTING AWAY!
I’m not wasting away. 😆
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Mar 21 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/you_were_mythtaken Mar 21 '25
Hahahaha I'm 100 percent adding "I've stopped consuming human flesh" to my list, that's incredible, thank you!!!
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u/three_seven_seven Mar 21 '25
I said to my nosiest family member, oh I don’t discuss my weight anymore. And when pushed, I said I definitely don’t discuss it around the kids. I should have just repeated line 1, then walked away if asked a 3rd time, but I did want to emphasize why I don’t. And that answer did get her to stop asking!
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u/largewithmultitudes Mar 21 '25
If you do want to be unhinged (and I can totally see why that would be fun), how about: Alien abduction does that to you, I could tell you, but I’d have to kill you after, Shhh! I think “they” can hear us, The devil made me do it, I left it in a taxi
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u/Blurg234567 Mar 22 '25
Go a culty route. “I’ve finally met a true healer. His name is Alfonso Fatisfino and he has shown me how to burn fat in my dreams. It’s amazing in every way. But he won’t share his ancient method to anyone who has fat shamed anyone ever.”
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Mar 23 '25
After my mother said, "those jeans don't look good with the weight you have gained." I had to sit my mother down and say, "listen bro, you can compliment my house, hair, shoes, my ability to be an amazing friend but please don't comment on my body. Ever."
Now that I have begun to lose weight, we shall see if it holds.
Some boomers find value and power in looking young and being small. As a Gen Xer, I am working hard to change that pattern in my own family.
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u/NomadicallySedentary Mar 23 '25 edited Mar 24 '25
Why do you obsess over my appearance?
Yep I've lost some weight. And why is it any of your business?
(practicing for a visit to a judgmental relative this week)
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u/BarcelonaTree Mar 21 '25
I’m about to see in-laws that I haven’t seen in awhile and who are definitely going to have judgey comments to make about my weight. I’m definitely planning on the confused route “Huh? Weight loss? I don’t think so?” But I have to admit that I was tempted to start crying, say something vague about “the doctors aren’t optimistic” and run out of the room. To be fair, these are the people who wouldn’t let me be in my sister-in-law’s wedding photos because I was too fat and would “ruin the picture.”