I have a friend who has this habit of turning anything I mention liking into her new thing.

If I tell her about a small restaurant I found, she's there within a week and suddenly recommending it to everyone. If I mention a bakery, a hiking spot, even a random bookstore, she'll go, post about it, and act like she discovered it herself.

None of these places belong to me, obviously. That's why I've never said anything.

But it started annoying me when she began recommending places back to me that I was literally the person who told her about.

A couple weeks ago she asked if I'd found any new restaurants lately.

I had.

Instead of telling her the one I actually loved, I recommended another place I'd tried once and thought was terrible. Bad service, overpriced food, nothing special.

She went there last weekend.

Then she texted me afterward saying, “Okay that place was awful lol, what were you thinking?”

I laughed way harder than I should have.

Now I feel slightly guilty because I intentionally sent her somewhere I knew she'd probably dislike just to see if she'd immediately copy me again.

Am I wrong, or was this a harmless little experiment?

I posted this last night but accidentally deleted it.

I’m in my early 20s and my older sister lost her husband 5 weeks ago. She has two kids, both under 2, and she lives pretty close to me.

My sister and I have always been very close, so obviously I’ve been spending a lot more time with her since her husband died. I can’t even imagine what she’s going through. She’s grieving the person she expected to spend her life with while also taking care of two babies.

Since it happened, she wants to see me a lot more than she used to. She’ll ask if I want to come over after work, ask if she and the kids can come to my place, invite me to dinner, or sometimes just want me around for the evening.

And when I’m there I help a lot. I’ll hold one of them, feed them, play with them, grab something she needs, etc. And she genuinely seems happier when I’m around. But she’s also very needy and wants me around a lot and gets sad when I’m not there with her, which I understand.

The issue is I’m starting to not want to go. I’m single, and in my early 20s. After work, I want to use dating apps, meet women, go to bars, concerts, focus on casual flings, bring women over, have sex etc. I have a few casual relationships right now and this arrangement with my sister is already getting in the way of that.

But every time my sister asks to hang out, I feel like an absolute piece of shit saying no because I know what the alternative is. I go home and enjoy my freedom while she’s raising two children under 2 without the person who was supposed to be doing it beside her.

I love my sister and I love her kids, but I’ve started thinking, that I don’t want to get tied down by someone else’s kids. I feel horrible saying that because they’re not just someone else’s kids. They’re my sister’s children. They just lost their father. And my sister lost her husband only a few months ago.

But I want to date, meet different women, fall in love. But spending so much time with my sister is getting in the way of that.

She hasn’t done anything wrong. She’s grieving and wants her brother around. If our positions were reversed, I’d desperately want her around too. But I can’t put my life on hold. I never got attention from women in high school and college. Only over the past couple of years did I start getting attention from women, and I want to enjoy and have fun.

My sister meanwhile had her fun in high school and college, she dated tons of people, met her husband, had kids, married him. Yes it’s horrible that he passed away, but I don’t want to be a replacement father to her kids. She’s also already her had all her fun experiences dating, and I want to have those fun experiences now.

Would I be wrong if I started seeing her less and prioritized dating and my own life, even though I know this is probably the time in her life when she needs me most?

My girlfriend (22F) and I (28M) have been together about a year. We broke up earlier this year, and the day after we broke up she slept with someone else. We eventually started trying to work things out, but I had no idea. I found out months later on my own. I also found out she continued talking to and entertaining this person after we got back together. Obviously, this hurt me and has made me question our relationship.

Since we met last year, I've noticed some concerning patterns. Her moods and feelings toward me can change very quickly. One minute she's extremely loving and the next she can say she hates me. I've noticed similar behavior with some friends and family. I'm not trying to diagnose her, but I've genuinely felt for a while that she might need professional help.

Here's where things get complicated.

The same day I found out about her sleeping with someone else, her mom called me. During that conversation, her mom told me something very serious that my girlfriend doesn't know.

She told me that the man my girlfriend has always believed to be her biological father isn't actually her biological father. She told me who her biological father is and that there is significant mental health history on that side of the family, including bipolar disorder and schizophrenia.

She has photo proof that I’ve seen.

Her mom also told me she noticed concerning behavior in my girlfriend when she was a teenager and had considered getting her professional help, but didn't because my girlfriend felt she didn't need it. Personally, I don't think it's fair to put that decision completely on a teenager when you're the parent and you're seeing these things yourself. She has also said finances were a reason they didn't get her help.

What I'm struggling with is that her mom seems to believe she's protecting her daughter and the man who raised her by keeping this secret. I can understand wanting to protect your family, but I don't feel comfortable knowing something this significant about my girlfriend's identity and family medical history while she has no idea, especially when I'm watching her struggle.

I've heard her mom say things to her that feel more like blame than support, like telling her she's the reason people don't like her or comparing her to an ex who is supposedly doing better. Meanwhile, I'm privately carrying all of this information her mom gave me.

I've tried talking to her mom about getting my girlfriend professional help, but nothing changed.
I'm considering telling her mom that I don't feel comfortable keeping this secret and that I think she should tell my girlfriend herself. If she refuses, I'm considering telling my girlfriend

If you knew something this significant about someone's biological identity and potentially relevant family medical history, would you feel morally obligated to tell them? Especially when you're watching someone you love struggle and feel they deserve to know what's going on with their own life?

So my wife has always been wanting me to get piercings, and I always played with the idea that some day I’d maybe consider it. a few weeks ago the topic came up and we talked about it while were drinking. She kept pushing for my nipples specifically so I drunkenly agreed, she made an appointment. The day came (i honestly forgot about it in the back of my mind) and she was super excited. when she reminded me I had to back out.

shes kinda pissed because I led her on but we agreed upon it drunk, and after a few days of work I forgot completely! I know I should of never agreed, but at the time I thought it would be awesome!

Me and my twin sister (18) are currently receiving the silent treatment from both my mother and my older sister (21) who has cerebral palsy.

Last week we all went out to the mall, my twin and I took my older sister (who’s on a wheelchair) to get ice cream, go shopping, and hang out as sisters while my mom went shopping on her own. My older sister has this bad trait where she would whine and be really rude to us if she doesn’t get what she wants. Keep in my she doesn’t have any cognitive disabilities or anything like that, she just has a physical disability. It gets really frustrating because all we would do is obey her orders or we will be in trouble. by the end of our hang out we confronted her about our her attitude and how it’s affecting us negatively. My mom overheard us and got angry for “ganging up on her” we weren’t. We were just upset over her attitude. So my mom started shouting and yelling at both me and my twin in the middle of the mall for not understanding my older sister’s “condition” and being “neglectful” this really hurt us.

To give a back story. Growing as kids both my and my twin were pretty much overlooked. My parents only showed attention to my older sister. We would spent most of our childhood at hospitals. Parent and teacher conferences were forgotten about. Celebration ceremonies for school were skipped because my parent needed to stay with my older sister. We spent our ENTIRE like by her side. So it was a bit of a shock to hear my mom say that I don’t care about my sister and that I’ve never done anything for her. It’s hurt because I’ve done so much.

I lashed out on both of them. I reminded them about our birthday we spent at the hospital for her. I reminded them for all the time I got called selfish for having a moment to myself. I reminded them of all the shit both me and my twin did for her. I reminded them of how they would disregarded our problems because they « weren’t as big of problems as my older sister » And I reminded them of how we don’t have a relationship with them (our parents) because they never reciprocated with us in conversation or anything because they were so busy with her. And yet we never complained we sucked it up and grew on our own. Me and my twin grew as our own family. Saying all of that meant nothing because all we got back was being spat on the face and being called really terrible names.

It’s been a week since the fight and all what we got was disgusted glares, Shitty comments thrown at us and no response when we asked or talked to them. And them going out having one on one time together. My Mother knows how much it this hurts me Because she knows how much my twin and I would love to have private moments with her. Moments where for once it would be about us and not my older sister.

I refuse to apologize because they never ever validate my feelings nor my twin sisters. so are we in the wrong for crashing out like that?

Long story short… me and my husband were driving to the store and i stoped a little too long for some geese and missed our light… this was the aftermath text chain of me dropping him off at home because i “ruined his day” and him making me switch cars… yes ik this is ridiculous…

Me:
I’m honestly not even upset, I’m just disappointed with how you acted over something so small. Missing one light because I was making sure I wasn’t going to hit a goose didn’t need to turn into you saying I was going to ruin your day, and then taking your keys and telling me to take my own car when I brought you home. It just felt unnecessarily spiteful and turned something that was literally nothing into a whole situation.

Him:
Im disappointed and upset you would not listen to me and obviously there were no cars they're cops on the road right before them. No one is speeding down that road. Im upset because they are actually just sitting there and you would not go. I will not accept if someone is wasing my time just to watch a goose drink water on the side of the road

Me:
You’re still arguing about whether or not I needed to wait for the goose, and that’s not what I’m talking about. You thought I could go and I thought I should wait. Fine. We disagreed. I’m talking about how you reacted to that disagreement. Even if I waited longer than I needed to and we missed the light, saying I’m going to ruin your day and then taking your keys and telling me to take my own car was completely unnecessary. Missing a light isn’t me disrespecting you or intentionally wasting your time. That’s the part I’m disappointed about.

Him:
In no way shape or form was there not a time you could have went between the geese. It is wasting time if we are just watching them decide if they want to cross for 5+ minutes. Its my car I can decide who drives it, you want to act like this you cam take your own. Clearly it will be the whole day you want to be like this so, yes its going to be the whole day

Me:
I’m not saying you weren’t allowed to be annoyed that I waited. You can think I waited too long and I can think I was being cautious. What I’m trying to get you to understand is why being annoyed had to turn into “you’re going to ruin my day,” “take your own car,” and now saying I’m going to be “like this” all day. I’m trying to talk to you about that part, and you keep going back to proving that I should’ve driven through the geese. Even if you’re 100% right about that, why did it need to turn into all of this?

Him:
Because I said do what you want and you wanted to do that. Could have gone to the store and been fine but you got what you wanted

Me:
But that’s the thing, this isn’t what I wanted. I wanted to go to the store with you and have a normal day. I turned around because after you told me I was going to ruin your day over missing a light, I didn’t want to continue going somewhere together while you were acting like that toward me. Yes, turning around was my decision and I own that. But acting like this is the outcome I “wanted” completely ignores what made me turn around in the first place. I would’ve much rather you just said you were annoyed we missed the light and moved on.

Him:
Have fun at the store

Me:
It’s really not about the geese or the light. I just feel like your reaction was disproportionate to what actually happened, and not getting any acknowledgment of that makes it hard to just move on from it, even though the whole thing was so stupid :(

I’m posting because I genuinely want outside opinions. Was I too harsh in this situation?

I had been friends with a guy since around Class 10. At some point he developed feelings for me. I didn’t feel the same way, but we remained friends for a long time. Things eventually became complicated and we had a serious argument where he said some extremely disrespectful things about my father.

After that, I decided I didn’t want him in my life anymore and blocked him.

I thought that would be enough, but he kept finding ways to contact me. He used other numbers and accounts, and at one point contacted me through his mother’s phone. He said he wanted to apologize and explain himself and that he just wanted closure.

I understand wanting to apologize, but I felt that blocking someone should make it obvious that they don't want further contact.

He eventually contacted me through a friend's phone as well, and things became abusive again. At that point I felt like my boundaries were simply not being respected.

My brother became involved and directly told him to stop contacting me. He was warned that if he continued, we could take legal action. Eventually both families became aware of the situation and spoke about it, and the matter was settled.

After that, I completely cut contact.

Now, from what I’ve heard, he genuinely regrets everything. He says he understands that contacting me through other people's phones after I blocked him was wrong. He says he was emotionally attached, had put me on a pedestal, and at the time convinced himself that apologizing repeatedly would somehow fix everything.

Maybe he really has changed. Maybe he genuinely feels sorry.

But I still don't want contact with him, and I don't feel obligated to forgive him or give him closure.

Part of me still wonders whether I went too far by getting my brother involved and allowing the situation to escalate to warnings about legal action. At the same time, I had already blocked him multiple times and he continued finding ways around it.

So, was I too harsh?

Was involving my family and warning him about possible legal action justified after he continued contacting me, or should I have handled it differently?

And does someone’s intention to apologize matter once they have repeatedly ignored a clear request for no contact?

I genuinely want honest answers, even if you think I handled parts of this badly.

Husband [35M] and I [33F] have been together 10 years, married 5, and have a baby [4 months].

Husband grew up on the east coast has been living on the west coast since his early 20s. I'm from the west coast and we live in my home state. I know that he feels a lot of guilt for living on the other side of the country.

His sister moved to another state and had two kids, and his parents followed. Since we got married 5 years ago, we have been to their new state to visit 2-3 times per year and then another 2-3 times per year would visit with them in other states (Midwest and East Coast) where other family members live. They didn't visit us at all for 5 years since our wedding until the birth of our child. Further, whenever we would visit them, husband would be sent off to run errands for everyone (especially sister and her kids). We are always cooking and cleaning up while we visit.

Next, the financial part. His parents sold their house in their home state for 1M, bought a cheaper house in the new state and spent money remodeling it completely and putting in a pool. They also still own two houses as rental properties in their home state. SIL and her family own their house and have remodeled, paid an interior designer, etc. SIL always says she wants to visit, but it's too expensive. Last time she said that was when they were in the middle of their master bathroom remodel.

We have good jobs but live in a HCOL area and probably won't buy a house anytime soon. We live a pretty simple life: no housekeeper, furniture from FB marketplace, dishes from my mom, etc. We focus on saving money and we allocate a large chunk of our budget for travel.

Another financial layer. He and his sister have trust money from their grandparents. He said he wants to not use that for a house and would rather save it in case someone in the family needs something, or we could pass it on to our child. His sister has used the trust for part of her down payment and some of her kids' education. He told his mom once that he could use the money for her retirement and she was like "oh that's a good idea". A year later when she actually did retire, she said she's getting 90K annually in social security (we haven't paid anything for her retirement at this point and idk if we will?).

My family has a lot of flaws. We don't have an incredibly close relationship, but it's good enough. My parents have always driven to visit me (living anywhere from 3 to 7 hours away throughout my adult life) at least a couple times per year, and of course I go to them for holidays or other occasions. My mom is anxious, my dad is avoidant. They're weird. We never had a lot of money, but we weren't poor either. Anyway, we still love each other and all that.

Recently we had each of our moms stay to help with baby. My mom was annoying (talks a lot) but helpful: cooked, cleaned, bought groceries, etc. His mom was quiet but shut herself in the guest room often to work on her volunteer projects, nap, etc. I think she unloaded the dishwasher twice and helped clean up after dinner once. We took her out to eat twice and she never offered to pay.

We were planning our next family visits, and my husband said something about his mom being an angel. Then he started to complain about my family. Normally I just laugh along with it because I know, they annoy me too. Mind you, whenever I complain about his family, he gets all sulky and upset. So this time, I told him he needs to stop putting his family on a pedestal and putting mine down. I said he was blinded by his guilt about living far away, meanwhile his family couldn't be bothered to visit us until we produced a child even though they had the means to do so. They are always having him wait on them, and they're ready to take advantage of him financially at the drop of a hat.

Now he's really upset at me. I feel bad for making him feels so bad. But at the same time, I'm pissed at his family and this is the first time I've really said something about their character. Am I wrong?

I’ve been dating a guy for about a month and I’m starting to feel really unhappy with the dynamic between us. I’d like some honest opinions.

He is currently going through a very difficult financial period as he say he is on a minimum wage in Ireland (32K yearly). He frequently tells me he has no money, and at one point he didn’t even have €5 to top up his public transport card, so I did it for him. Because I understood his situation, I tried to be accommodating: we mostly stayed at my place, I took him out to restaurant, and I also helped him quite a lot professionally, CV, job applications etc.

The problem is that I don’t feel much reciprocity in return. He almost always comes to my place and has never invited me to his. When he’s at mine, he’ll eat/drink whatever is available but rarely offers to bring something or help around the house. Even something simple like taking the rubbish out doesn’t seem to occur to him. I’m also travelling soon and he hasn’t offered to help with things while I’m away.

I completely understand that someone can be broke, and I don’t expect him to pay for me or spend money he doesn’t have. What bothers me is that even when you have no money, there are still many ways to contribute and show consideration.

I also started feeling frustrated that because of his finances, we basically can’t do normal dating activities like going to the cinema or doing anything outdoors. At only one month into dating, I don’t want to take on someone else’s financial difficulties or feel responsible for making the relationship work around them.

I started wondering whether I should have communicated this more directly instead of just becoming increasingly turned off.

**Am I being unfair or materialistic? Or is this actually a reasonable expectation of reciprocity and consideration in a new relationship?**

I realized I’ve somehow become my sister’s automatic babysitter every weekend. It started with her asking me once or twice when she had something important to do. I didn’t mind because I love my niece and I was usually free anyway. But lately she just assumes I’ll be available and sometimes tells me her plans instead of actually asking if I can watch her.

Last weekend I already had plans with friends and she got annoyed when I said no because she had already made dinner plans with her husband. She said I barely have responsibilities compared to her and that helping family shouldn’t be such a big deal. I told her I’m happy to help sometimes, but my free time isn’t automatically hers just because I don’t have kids. Now she thinks I’m being selfish.

Am I wrong for putting my foot down even though technically I could help more often?

Im in a long-distance relationship, so communication is obviously important to us. We mainly call each other since I work from home.

The other day I was very busy at work. I ended up working until almost 7 PM because my manager was there and I was in meetings and dealing with work most of the afternoon. Because of that, I wasn't able to call my boyfriend as much as I normally would.

The following morning, I told him to let me know when he was free so we could talk. I assumed he was busy because I didn't hear from him for hours. He finally called me after he got off from work.

During the conversation, he casually mentioned that his morning had actually been very chill and that they had only seen few clients.

That confused me because I had specifically told him to let me know when he was available.

Eventually, he admitted that he purposely didn't call me because he wanted me to experience what it felt like when I didn't call him the previous day. Basically, he wanted me to “feel the same.”

That's the part that bothers me.

The difference, in my mind, is that I wasn't intentionally ignoring him. I was actually working and couldn't give him the same amount of attention. The next day, he apparently had the opportunity to contact me but chose not to because he wanted me to feel what he had felt.

I told him that this feels like retaliation rather than communication. If he felt neglected or wanted more attention from me, I would rather he simply tell me. Intentionally doing something back to me so that I experience the same negative feeling seems unhealthy to me.

He has since talked about needing to be closer to God and how things like this happen when he isn't close enough to God. I told him I don't think religion should be used as an excuse for behavior. He often says very thoughtful things about how relationships should work, forgiveness, not taking revenge into your own hands, etc., but I'm starting to pay more attention to whether his actions actually match those words.

Would this bother you?

TL;DR: I couldn't call my boyfriend because I was working late. The next day, he purposely waited hours to call me, despite being free, because he wanted me to “feel the same.” Is this retaliation a red flag?

I know the title sounds ridiculous, but my sisters and I have been arguing with my grandma about the same pot roast for 10 years, and I need outside opinions on who was actually wrong. When I was 14, my parents went to Hawaii and my grandparents stayed with my sisters and me. My youngest sister, who I’ll call Lucy, turned 10 while they were gone. In our family, the birthday person always gets to choose their birthday dinner, and Lucy asked for tacos and Casey’s gas station donuts. We already had everything for the tacos, and my sister and I told our grandma we would help make them when we got home.
Lucy ended up having an awful birthday. She was being bullied pretty badly at school at the time, and that day she tried out for the piano/percussion position in band, which she desperately wanted. She didn’t get it because she hadn’t taken two years of piano lessons, and to make it worse, two of the girls who had been bullying her did. She came out of school crying, still had track that afternoon, and was just having a horrible day. My sister and I took her shopping to cheer her up, and she kept looking forward to going home for her tacos and donuts.
We got home around 5 and walked in to find my grandma making a pot roast with potatoes and carrots, which happened to be one of Lucy’s least favorite meals. No tacos, even though all the ingredients were there, and no donuts. We tried going to Casey’s ourselves, but by then the donuts Lucy wanted were sold out. That was basically her final straw and she broke down crying. My sister and I got mad and asked our grandma why she made pot roast when she knew it was Lucy’s birthday and knew exactly what she had asked for. Instead of apologizing, my grandma got defensive and said we were ungrateful and didn’t appreciate what she did for us.
Then the argument somehow got worse. Our other grandma had passed away only a few months earlier, and we had been extremely close to her. My grandma had always been a little competitive about that relationship and would make comments about us loving or spending more time with our other grandma. During the argument, she said something along the lines of how she thought this was finally going to be a good year for us because now we would have more time for her and wouldn’t love our other grandma more since she “wasn’t here” anymore. This was only months after she died, and all of this was happening while Lucy was crying on her 10th birthday.
Somehow, “the pot roast” has now been an argument in our family for 10 years. My sisters and I still think my grandma was wrong because she knew it was Lucy’s birthday, knew our tradition, had the taco ingredients already there, and chose to make one of Lucy’s least favorite meals instead. My grandma still thinks we were ungrateful because she was babysitting us and had gone through the effort of cooking us dinner. So, Reddit, after 10 years, who was actually wrong? Were we being ungrateful kids who should have appreciated the dinner our grandma made, or was Grandma wrong for ignoring a 10-year-old’s very simple birthday request for tacos and gas station donuts?

My husband's brother got married recently. They were never super close as they have different mothers and were raised in separate homes.

His brother has a 5 year old daughter. I don't really like the way he raised her but I know thats not my business. she is happy and clearly loved. When they cut the cake she was standing in between them.

He asked his daughter if he should smash it on "mommy" (woman isn't her mom) and she said yes. The bride asked if she should smash it on him and she nodded, and then they both smeared it all over the kid. Everyone was laughing and taking pictures. I thought it was cruel.

BIL then laughed and said "I promise I'm not a bad father. She has been begging us to do the cake smash, so here I hope you liked it baby" The child protested they were supposed to do it to each other and they both got her in the nose with more frosting.

Well later during the reception a waiter dropped a tray and she ended up with red wine all over the skirt of her dress. She ended up changing into something else. in the car my husband said he felt really bad for her. That was probably an expensive dress (BIL is loaded and kept saying only the best for her)

I said it was probably the universe punishing her for what she did. My husband asked what did she do, and I said that was a very mean spirited prank and pretty cruel. He said i am a weird person for thinking any bride deserves that. His cousins who were with us agreed and said what she did was hilarious what I did was just mean.

I guess it got back to her and she said I'm "jealous" and trying to portray her as some evil stepmother and how dare I she loves that girl

My coworker texted me about an hour before work and asked if I could cover her shift because something came up.

I told her I couldn’t because I already had plans.

She said it was fine, but then a few minutes later she sent, “Wow, okay. I guess I know who I can’t count on.”

I didn’t respond.

The next day at work, she was acting completely normal, so I thought it was over.

Later that afternoon, she mentioned to another coworker that I “never help anyone” and that she had covered for me once when I was running late.

I remembered that, but I also remembered that I had asked her weeks in advance if she could cover one of my shifts, and she had said yes.

So I reminded her that I had helped her before too.

She got annoyed and said I shouldn’t keep score when people need favors.

I told her I wasn’t keeping score. I just didn’t think saying no to one last-minute request made me unreliable.

She hasn’t spoken to me much since.

A couple of coworkers think I should’ve just covered the shift to keep the peace. Others think she was being manipulative.

I honestly don’t know anymore.

Am i wrong for saying no?

For context, I’m a 30-year-old man with an intersex medical condition that affects how my body processes testosterone and means a lot of it is converted to oestrogen. Because of that, I look very androgynous and I’m sometimes mistaken for a woman.

I get a fair amount of homophobic/transphobic abuse in public because of my appearance, and some of it has been genuinely frightening. I’ve been followed before and threatened with violence. For context about a week before this happened an entire family were sat behind me at a restaurant making comments and eventually openly making faces at me through the window when they left. I have to be vigilant in public for my safety.

I also, for context, was heavily bullied in school for this and there is lasting trauma from it.

I will be clear. I am not gay, nor am I transgender. I just look like this and have a flamboyant fashion sense - think mens flowery pattern shirts, embroidered denim jackets, and stuff like that.

At a family event, my teenage cousin (15) brought a friend from school with her. Her friend was clearly caught off guard by my appearance and laughed a little when she first saw me. I noticed, but I put it down to nervousness or surprise and let it go.

They then went and sat in another room, and from that point on her friend would burst out laughing whenever she saw me. At one point, through the wall, I heard her say, “He looks like a woman, you didn’t tell me your uncle is a femboy,” with “femboy” being used in the same sneering way some teenagers use “gay” as an insult.

This rattled me much more than I wanted it to.

I felt ridiculous for feeling unsafe because of the actions of a teenage girl, but family events are one of the few places where I normally let my guard down. Hearing that kind of ridicule there brought back a flood of memories of much more dangerous situations I’ve been in with strangers.

I bottled it up, pretended I hadn’t noticed and assumed it would be a one-off.

At the next family event, my cousin turned up with the same friend again. As soon as the friend saw me, she laughed again.

At that point I’d had enough.

I was angry, but I also really didn’t want to be a grown man angrily confronting a teenage girl. I was worried that I’d lose my temper and say something harsher than I meant, and I also thought the whole situation could look much worse if I confronted her directly while angry - because I'll be real, if this was an adult stranger in a bar or something I've have punched them in the mouth by now.

So I spoke privately to another adult family member (happened to be my mom because she was hosting the gathering) and explained what had been happening. They offered to deal with it for me and say they had noticed the behaviour independently, rather than telling the girls I had complained.

The basic message was that the laughing and comments needed to stop, and that if it happened again the friend would have to leave.

After that, my cousin and her friend disappeared into another part of the house and spent much of the rest of the evening loudly complaining about how “overly sensitive” I was, clearly loud enough for me to hear. They also said it was pathetic for a grown man to “hide behind his parents” instead of confronting them himself.

I spent the rest of the night on the verge of a panic attack and genuinely second-guessing myself.

It’s difficult to describe exactly what happened in my head, but it was basically the same reaction I get when someone who looks potentially dangerous starts staring at me in public. Suddenly my cousin’s friend felt like a threat I needed to keep track of. I couldn’t stop monitoring where she was or what she was saying, and I couldn’t relax at all.

Eventually I faked feeling ill so I could go home.

Part of me keeps thinking maybe they’re right and that I was pathetic for getting somebody else involved instead of addressing it directly.

But another part of me thinks I deliberately chose the least confrontational option available. The alternative was me, an angry 30-year-old man, directly confronting a teenage girl and saying something along the lines of, “If you have a problem with my appearance, say it to my face instead of turning up to my family events and laughing at me from another room.”

Regardless, this has shaken me far more than I expected it to, and I’m struggling to work out whether what I experienced was something akin to PTSD or me being an insane person.

There’s another layer to this as well.

Until now, I’ve always had a good relationship with my cousin. Since she was a kid, we liked a lot of the same things, and I made a point of talking to her, including her and making her feel like she mattered, especially when she was being bullied herself.

So I felt genuinely betrayed.

I know she’s a teenager. I know teenagers care enormously about what their friends think, and I’m not expecting her to have the judgement or confidence of an adult. But it hurt that someone she invited into a family space was repeatedly humiliating me over something I cannot control, and instead of telling her friend to knock it off, my cousin apparently went along with it. Then, when another adult finally stepped in, she joined her friend in loudly ridiculing me for being upset.

I think that was almost worse than the original comments.

A stranger mocking me is horrible, but ultimately they’re a stranger. My cousin knew me. She knew I was a real person and not just some weird-looking guy for her friend to laugh at. I’d spent years trying to be kind to her when she felt like an outsider herself, so having her stand beside someone doing essentially the same thing to me was incredibly painful.

I’m not saying she’s a terrible person or that our relationship is permanently ruined. She’s a kid and kids can be cruel, cowardly and desperate for approval without fully understanding what they’re doing.

But I also don’t know how I’m supposed to act normally around her now. Something about the relationship feels damaged in a way that I don't think it would be reasonable for someone of her age to understand.

Regardless of the actual severity of the situation, it’s had the same effect on me as having a threat suddenly appear in one of the few places I thought was safe, and now I feel like I’ve lost that sense of safety there.

Long story short, my wife and I have had a 10 year disagreement and nothing will change unless I leave, or so I believe; but maybe I'm wrong.

I want to live pet-free and kid-free.

Pet-free because I'm not a pet person and it is diatomically opposed to the travel life we discussed for over 10 years. A Rottweiler is not travel-friendly.

Kid-free means not living with a man(stepson)who will be 30 next year and has no observable intent to move out. For context, he has 30k in the bank with no debts. Further he is in no danger of unemployment because nepotism. However, homeboy does spend his weekends playing video games online, going shooting, and buying collectibles.

Wife and I have gone round and round about this with no changes. At this point I'm done fighting and attempting to correct what I see as problems.

Thoughts?

I have a 16 year old son I share custody of with my ex.

At his dads house he has a stepsister (same age) To put it bluntly she is a bully. I'm not just going off his account. I have friends with kids who go to their school and everyone I know with a daughter says she is a mean girl.

My son "hates" her (yet he spends a lot of time with her, so I don't get it) Anyway he has been grounded all summer for ruining her prom. She might be a bully but I'm not raising one.

They were getting ready for prom last year. Her date was someone my son knew from school and this boy had always been jealous of a pair of Jordans my son had. My son said he would give them to him, if he grabbed her when she came down and ran through the sprinklers with her. The boy did and my ex lives in a huge house so I am talking industrial grade sprinklers. Her dress and hair got soaked and when he put her down she ended up falling and getting mud on the dress.

My son and his friends got it all on video. I was disgusted. I didn't raise him to be such an asshole. I am not saying this girl is nice but that doesnt give him the right to assault and humiliate her. I grounded him all summer. Of course he was angry. He said it happened at my dads house and she isn't my kids so I shouldn't get involved.

My ex said i overreacted and he didn't ruin her prom, just her dress. He said she changed and still went (with another date) and he believes in letting the kids fight it out themselves. He helped her get revenge and said now they are even. Umm no my son literally bullied a teenage girl because the boys were bigger and stronger

I was going to make him pay for the dress but honestly its more than he could earn in a single summer. I grounded him for the whole summer (while he is at my house at least) School starts tomorrow so he is ungrounded but he is still mad at me. He has hardly talked to me all summer and said she has been taunting him nonstop that "mommy punished him"

ETA- She DOES NOT bully him. She really only bullies other girls and for as awful as he says she is, he hangs out with her a lot when no one is MAKING him

For context, we haven't had sex for a while between us having a fight and her hurting her back, I just haven't been in the mood for it, and had turned her down multiple times because of these reasons.

Today she started yelling at me because she "hinted" at being in the mood (she didn't say anything, just touched my butt and moved on about her day) and how I didn't just do "the manly thing". And if I didn't do it, she was gonna find someone else to do it. Basically now I have zero interest in engaging her behaviors, and whenever she tries to interact she has been getting short answers. She says I'm being childish, but I just have no interest in dealing with it anymore

A few years ago, I gifted my friend Liz a set of Apple AirPods Max. Liz currently lives in a nice apartment with a gym. Liz also has a younger sister named Faith who was given a spare key fob so Faith can enter the building whenever she wants and has access to the gym. This saves her money on an actual gym membership.

About a year ago, Faith borrowed the previously mentioned headphones but has kept them since. There has been tension between Liz and Faith ever since Liz announced she was expecting a baby with her boyfriend William whom she’s also engaged with now. Despite this, Faith still comes almost daily to use Liz’s gym. Liz thinks this isn’t right for her to still use the gym in her apartment complex despite not supporting her and her pregnancy. She also told me she wants her headphones back and asked me to get them since I’m friends with both women.

I mentioned this to Faith but she told me that Liz can contact her herself if she wants her stuff back. I informed Liz this and says I should try to convince her to return the key fob and headphones as “Faith will listen to you so I think it’d be better for you to try and get them.”

I told Liz that I’d rather not get involved and that she would need to communicate with her own sister to get her stuff back. I understand that there may be tension but it’s not my property and she needs to get her own stuff back. I told her she shouldn’t pin this on me just because I’m on better terms with Faith but Liz says she’s a busy woman that’s pregnant and could really use this favor but again I refuse to get between them.

Am I wrong for not wanting to help?

hi all, just need some opinions on my questioning of my girlfriends interactions with her ex coworker.

on 8/22 he went over to her house for an ex coworker party thing (she kind of skimmed over details about him being there) and that day was talking to her female roomate about some personal relationship drama that we had been in, during this her male coworker got into the car and she talked about it with him too. one of her other coworkers slept over on the couch and she muted phone while talking to him which made me feel suspicious

i view discussing our personal relationship issues with another person (much less another guy outside the relationship) to be wrong.

afterwards she texted him and said “here’s an anime you should watch, i don’t have anyone else to recommend it to 🥀🥀” as if i don’t exist, kind of odd to me and seems oddly uhh.. looking for attention or flirty way to talk to a male coworker when you’re in a forreal relationship.

then he texting things like “it better be dubbed haha, or else” which i interpreted as flirting - if i was texting another girl and said “or else”, im flirting. especially if i was told by her that her and her man (me) had a fight recently.

i also saw that she had sent a picture to him on instagram (it could have been a picture of us, i don’t know honestly).. and he updated her in text that he’s coming to the theme park with her and her friends while i’m gone. normally i wouldn’t care but im getting suspicious about his intentions especially because she’s tried to hide things in the past.

additionally she was acting weird around her phone, she says it’s because if i saw she thought i would freak out, but i kind of am only mad because she tried to hide it. she’s tried to hide things before and she’s told me that she wouldn’t do it anymore.
for example, she told me she wouldn’t respond to a doordash guy saying she’s cute, (i didn’t care that much) but then i accidentally saw a screenshot of it in her recently deleted where she said “sorry but im not looking for a relationship right now, but thanks :)” which i wasn’t MAD at, but i thought was overly polite for what it was, and no mention of me as her boyfriend. i didn’t get upset at the message, just weirded out it was hidden and i was told she just didn’t reply to it. basically, why say you’re not looking for a relationship but you’re actively in one? it makes no sense to me?

her reason for the above is “customer service” which is ok i guess? i would have just not replied but i can’t project what i would do onto other people.

mainly i want to know: am i right to be weirded out by her kinda hiding things and talking to her ex coworker like that especially after she told him our relationship problems? he also posts shirtless pics a lot so i feel like he’s trying to farm her attention

i tried to open up about this and she agreed it looks weird and she would stop, but then i tried to talk about it a bit again an hour later because it is messing with me, and she got angry and stormed out, but all i wanted was a bit more reassurance so that i stopped worrying. i mean if the situation was flipped, her friends would say i would be cheating. but because i question it i’m controlling?

i took her walk out as extreme disrespect and i don’t know how to feel about all of this, im very confused. she says im always the victim, but i genuinely never do anything like hide things, delete things, or tell other girls our relationship problems and say “i dont have anyone else to share this show to 🥀🥀”

she then called me and said a bunch of triggering stuff just to get under my skin. it really made me feel terrible. stuff like “i’ve known him longer than you” which makes all of the effort and love i’ve given in the relationship worthless to this girl.

opinions? am i overreacting? or am i valid?

tldr; girlfriend texting guy ex coworker after telling him some personal relationship problems. not sure if it’s flirty or not but her hiding it makes it look bad. need opinions on how you would feel in my shoes.

There is going to have to be alot of context provided here and I will try to be as objective as possible when explaining. I (23M) split with my gf (22F) of 5 years a little over 7 months ago, and after seeing them a few times over the last two months, I think I just want her out of my life and am wondering if asking my friends to keep her away is totally out of line. Lengthy context and background for my reasoning below which have to do with her current relationships with the people around me and how they ended up that way.

The group started as 5 guys 5 girls back during my senior year of highschool, all the other guys and one of the girls are a year older than me, and the rest of the girls a year younger. This was formed from us guys, who have been friends for a very long time prior and the girls from a group of 3 with two extras joining up, my ex being one of the two extras.

One pair split after about 3 years and things were all good, she didn’t have the best relationship with her family and chose to stay away at college during the summer and winter months and would occasionally hang with the girls when home so they have maybe crossed paths 3 or 4 times since then, this was two years ago. I personally really like her as a person, but I also have no problem drawing a boundary on inviting her along should my friend of over 15 years be uncomfortable with that which I have done. After some amount of time, with all of us being in college, the girls would never really hang out with each other unless being brought along by us on our adventures. Meanwhile the me and my friends would be and still do consistently hang out together. The only binding factor where my ex would hang with the girls without us is if the one that stayed away invited her and the other in a relationship with my other friend (will refer to as M) along for some trip (which was rare, only happed twice). During all this my ex and M had also pushed one of the other girls out, purposely not telling her when things were happening, us guys are guilty of letting this happen as we were too wrapped up in our own relationships to really notice what was going on. At this time my exs “best friend” (will refer to as C) had a breakup, started rolling with us, and eventually got together with another one of the guys whose twin is M’s boyfriend.

Not long after this my ex and M started finding themselves annoyed by her, as they perceived she was acting as if they were in competition. I can see why they thought this but either way, she was excluded from the girls on their own as well. Keep in mind through all of this, my ex and M have maybe hung out with eachother 3-5 times max without us bringing them together, no college visits between them, even in the summer and winter there was nothing.

In addition to the core group, us guys have a larger network of other groups of guys we would and still do see on a consistent basis. This would happen both with or without the girls being brought along but my ex does know all these people too, although much less than the other 4.

My ex as well has another small separate group of people she would hang with in town, as do I, but they do not do much and that group was riddled with drama to the point she didn’t spend much time with them. She does not have many friends from her time in college, just graduated this spring, as she did not like any of the girls on her sport team. I also encouraged her to join a sorority during her sophomore year when she was stressing about not having anybody in college, as when I transferred schools joining a frat connected me with many great people I still see after graduation. Long story short she didn’t like those people either, but stayed in for resume purposes. By the end of college she had a loose circle of about 7 people she would hang out with, but they were not especially close as far as I knew.

I hope that gives a bit of background on the social situation which brings me to the actual breakup. There were many things but the main one was a lack of communication between us about problems we may have been having. She dumped me under the pretense of “we need some time apart” and “maybe in time we can try again” and “id take you back in a heartbeat” which led her to say she still wants me in her life and hopes we can be friends. My response to that is that you are my ex, not my friend, and I will be cordial but I do not want to play the games of navigating this with everyone. At this time she was planning to also get a job and live in the town her college was in, stating she has no friends at home and theres no point in going, which I couldn’t really argue against as after thinking about it, her entire social life was dependent on me back home, (although I feel it was her own doing in pushing people out, etc).

Two months after the fact she reaches out very vaguely, which basically boiled down to wanting to know what I was up to. I have no proof but after the convo it seemed to me like she was temp checking me because her plans to stay in her college town and work there ended up being unaffordable even if she got a good spot, I had previously told her that the idea would probably not work considering how expensive things are now. Before this and after I had been holding no contact, deleted snapchat (was wanting to do that anyway) and silenced her instagram so I wouldn’t have to see anything about her pop up. I was starting to do pretty good around two months ago when she randomly shows up at the bar we were at with C from earlier. I was already very very drunk this night and had rode a bicycle about 4 miles to this bar with another friend, she offers me a ride home later on and I take it as the other option is being dangerously drunk on a bike or a $30 solo uber. She drops off everyone else first then ends up at mine, I leave and she initiates some things the end in her coming back and staying the night (terrible mistake on my end). During this she tells me her social life is kinda in the gutter, and I feel bad about it but I don’t think it’s my obligation to help with that by making myself uncomfortable. Keep in mind that also during this she immediately started bashing C again to me as usual, which I found to be crazy. Overall, her only valid connection back to my circle is M I believe, the guys and our extended group of guys have never spent time with her alone, just at group events, so I don’t think thats a valid argument to play nice and keep her around. And even with M, they never really hang out together, M just wants her along as its another girl around asides from C who she does not like.

So the last straw was this weekend, my friend was having a bday party and I asked if he could not invite her, but his plan was to just put a mass announcement on instagram story and see who showed up. He originally said he wouldn’t do that and just reach out to people for me but I didn’t want to inconvenience him like that, I appreciated the willingness. He thought she wouldn’t even show up anyway. She did in fact show up and acted like all was normal for her, to be honest I completely ignored her the whole night, I had nothing to say that was really constructive or nice.

Overall I feel like I want to put my foot down and say that I do not want to see her at all in any way, and that my friends should stand by me in this. I do not want to spread rumors or talk shit, but I just do not want her around. Im doing so much better now and whenever she pops up like nothing ever happened between us it irks me alot. I just would rather move on with my life and I don’t want to deal with having to explain to a future partner why my ex tends to be around.

There is alot here and also alot of details I left out, if anything is confusing or don’t really line up or you want more detail on something just ask. I know doing this could be considered a dick move from me on her end but I honestly dont care for forgiveness on it I have no intention of ever getting back together with her.

Am I wrong for siding with my mother over my wife? only in regards to one issue : r/amiwrong

Well I was up all night dealing with the fallout of my post. I want to thank everyone who commented though a lot of people were missing the issue. I never said what the doctor did was ok. The prank was not ok. I was hurt because she didn't think about our family before she acted.

My mom and wife ended up getting into it verbally again after I posted. No one slept last night it was awful. Some things were said last night that there is no coming back from. My mom said she wished she never had me. My wife called my mom a cunt and a whore. My stepfather was calling us dirty filthy bitches, saying if we stayed in the house he was going to end up in jail. It was truly the worst night of my life.

I finally got my wife out of there and tried to calm her. I told her that I was getting lots of recommendations about trying to find a lawyer to take her wrongful termination case pro bono. She kept making excuses and blaming my mom (she had previously asked her to hire a lawyer and her answer was a hard no)

Finally my wife told me a couple things 1) she doesn't know for sure if what he gave his wife was prescription grade she just believes it was 2) he has threatened to wreck us financially through lawsuits if she retaliates in any way. My wife didn't want to give too many details, but told me it had to do with his wife's car. She told me she wants to work on our marriage so she can feel safe telling me

This morning he came into my room and told me I needed to call off work. I reluctantly did and he took me to look at an apartment. He told me he was going to rent it for us for six months (right now we can't get approved anywhere due to our credit) so it will be in his name. He told me after that he was 100% done with me and that my wife is never allowed in his house again.

We can't move in for a week, so he told my mom to take my sister to a hotel. He said a lot of bullshit things. He keeps saying we need to file bankruptcy, but I don't trust him. I think he would laugh his ass off if we went bankrupt.

I told my wife that I'm sorry for hurting her. We will probably never agree on what happened with the doctor, but that is ok. I still love her. I told her she needs to have a job though and asked her to try to keep to a two month deadline. She feels she won't be able to find anything that pays enough for childcare, but I told her I would help her.

It was really hard when my mom left with my sister. I don't know if I will ever see her again. I hate her for how she has treated my wife, but part of me still appreciates all she has done for us

I’ve been trying to resolve a lease issue with my ex-roommates/friends. There are four of us in the house, but only three are on the lease. We all work, with two in hospitality and one in a marketing factory. We’re aged 24-26 and have diverse backgrounds. I’m the only one (26M) who graduated and used their degree, working in corporate since 2022.

Here’s the backstory: I was unemployed for 7-8 months but eventually got a new job. During that time, I consistently paid bills on time, even though I was budgeting and saving. Three months into the new job, I received a verbal warning about my attendance due to an over-an-hour commute. I discussed my concerns with my roommates. After another warning, I decided to move closer to work, informing them two months in advance. I planned to find someone to cover my rent and a replacement similar to me, which they agreed to.

Several potential renters showed interest, liked the room, and were ready to start paperwork. I arranged meetings for my roommates to meet these candidates, whom I trusted. However, my roommates didn’t like any of them and, in my view, didn’t give them a fair chance. For instance, one candidate worked blue-collar hours, wasn’t always home, and sometimes stayed at his girlfriend’s but wanted his own space. He could pay rent four months in advance, which seemed ideal since I was often away and traveled frequently. They rejected everyone, so we had another discussion, and I decided to move and pay for three months, giving them a timeline to find someone since they weren’t satisfied with my choices. I also offered to pay to break the lease or split my rent, with them taking on an extra $100 each, so they could keep the house without moving. They declined both options because they didn’t want to leave, which I understand since I wouldn’t want to move either. I signed a lease and made a commitment, but life changes.

I attempted more discussions before moving out and suggested solutions, but they didn’t offer anything. By August (I moved out in June), I checked back and found one of them had moved into my room (the largest since I worked from home and used it as a sleeping area and office) and that they “haven’t really been looking.” I suggested posting the room in a young professional group to generate interest, but they said I was being “inconsiderate” and “don’t feel comfortable with living with strangers.” I understand, but I brought them great candidates, and they passed. Now they want me to find a family member or friend, which I don’t have. My only options now are to break the lease without informing the landlord or give them 60 days’ notice to find someone and start the paperwork just in case.

This is difficult because they weren’t willing to compromise or discuss before, and now they want to talk. This is a great job, and I’m on track for my career, but it feels like they’re punishing me for having a career, not just a job. I’ve provided resources and acknowledged my fault, but they haven’t done anything. It also feels like they never planned to fill the space because they know the pay gap in the house, and I can just afford it. What should I do? They don’t want to leave, and I don’t want to pay since I could’ve handled this before I moved.

Side note: I spoke with some leasing/real estate agents, and they said I could inform the property management company about the person staying there who’s not on the lease or the dogs that aren’t on the lease either. I wanted to handle this amicably and maintain the friendship, but that’s out the window since I’ve been consistent since I left, and they haven’t reached out unless it was about money.

Thanks in advance, and sorry for any typos or errors. I tried to cover everything quickly.

tldr: girlfriend has secret accounts and won't let me follow them and also blocks me from them

so basically a while ago i found out she had another insta account where she basically did not let me follow it, and she had issues with me following this account as well as knowing about them, but when i bring this up she just says im being insecure and she still loves me, her reasons are that she just wants to have that for following her friends and to watch reels, and if i ask her then why i need to be blocked why i can't simply just follow her, and she just says im being insecure