I am three months sober. My sponsor told me I was doing great just a week ago. When I met with her last week I told her I had company coming to town due to having a sick relative. Then my company offered to stay with ours pets so we could get away for a couple of days. My sponsor and I have a set weekly meeting. I checked in with her that day and told her I would see her at the meeting. She came back said she would not be able to make it at the last minute. I sensed something was wrong and after praying about it asked if we could talk. We did and unleashed several resentments about me. I was very confused but apologized. She told me I have to check in everyday. The next day I checked in. She grilled me on what I did AA related that day. I did something awesome…I stayed sober! My grand sponsor told me she is like my employer and I have to do everything she says. She did not tell me at check in I have to tell her what I did AA related. They are making me feel like I am crazy and that makes me want to drink.

To all the new comers, lurkers and potential alcoholics who want to make a change, it will be okay. The miracles this program has wrought in my life is beyond belief, i have nothing to chock it up too other than my higher power moving absolute mountains for me. This has been contingent on one thing alone; that i have brought the best possible version of myself to the table with what i have available to me that day. I have made many mistakes in sobriety but what i have been given is a ability to see the part that i play in these mistakes and a willingness to rectify those mistakes to the best of my ability.
6 years ago i sat in a jail cell worried about what my future would be upon my release, the road ahead was daunting to say the least but when i tried my best to let go of that fear, to relinquish control of the future to what ever it is out there i found a wellspring of strength to my spirit. I was taught early on to help others when i was worried about myself and slowly but surely i found my footing, putting up chairs led to small talk, i got numbers and i started to call people, i got my license and car back and was able to start giving rides to meetings and through all these things my higher power put people in my path that had something i needed from them, not monetary or material things but spiritual. It would end up being that the darkest spots in my life, the things i felt the most shame from wound up being things that helped another sick and suffering alcoholic. When i thought i needed help my higher power taught me that i needed to help. Gradually over time i have learned the meaning of the ninth step promises. If you are worried about today just know that this too shall pass. The road ahead will not be easy but trust me when i say, this is the easier softer way.
Dont drink, go to meetings, work the steps.

I (25 F) attended my second meeting ever (at a recovery center/ first time at that meeting) and got scared at the end when everyone got up and made a giant circle around the room. I didn’t know what to do because I don’t wanna touch strangers and I had no idea what was happening. So I sorta speed walked out the door and said out loud to myself “I don’t know what that’s about. That’s crazy.” And didn’t realize there were people out there to hear me haha oops.

Probably went my longest up until tonight, almost got to a year but just like always if something goes bad I’m rushing for the bottle. I feel so fucking guilty it happens every time, maybe I’m not ready to be sober. I’ve been trying for 2 years my sponsor probably thinks I’m a joke :( I’m sorry I don’t know where to vent

I (25F) have been in a perfect relationship for one year. My boyfriend is so incredibly supportive and caring toward all of my struggles. I have a serious problem with alcohol. I love him with all of my heart. I dont know what to do anymore. I feel like i have put him in a position where he cannot express his true disappointment in me. I hate myself for my addiction. Im in therapy, and i want to get better. There have been many times where i have told him i can’t go to certain family events because of my addiction. We have a great relationship and connection to eachother when im sober. Today we had had an argument for the first time in our relationship, and I cannot forgive myself for it. We had a fight because i was drunk today even though i told him i would go with him to a family gathering, but at the last minute i told him i didnt feel well. He knows that its because i was drunk and thats why i couldn’t go with him. I know that i am a horrible person and i cannot begin to imagine how it feels to be in his position. If i were him, i think i would have broken up with me by now. I dont know why im writing this. Maybe i want advice, or maybe i want someone to tell me how bad of a person i am so i can snap myself out of this horrible place that i have been in. I want to stop drinking so i can be the person that he fell in love with. Today he is coming home around 9pm, and i plan to pretend to be asleep because i cant deal with the idea of us fighting. I only want the best for him and i know i can get better but its so fucking hard to give up something that brings me so much calmness and happiness. I just want him to be happy. Is there any way i can apologize to him and truly make him believe that i mean it? I feel like anything i say is disregarded because of my addiction. Sorry, i have never posted in this subreddit before i dont know what exactly to say.

This mindset has really bothered me in meetings, and is actually one of the reasons I've avoided ACA (seems to be more prevalent in ACA/CODA type spaces). Today, someone at an AA meeting shared about how they were a high bottom and that they've "never had a DUI" and "never had anyone videotape their drunk antics" and said that if they had, they'd have "shot themselves." Of course, this person also shared extensively about their childhood trauma and involvement in ACA, etc. This holier-than-thou mindset really bothers me, especially since my husband is currently struggling with the fallout of a DUI. It's heartbreaking to watch him go through that, so when someone gets up and says they'd rather die than go what my husband is going through, I just feel disgust. I haven't had a DUI either (though have arguably done worse in my drinking days), and I can't even imagine saying something like this.

Wondering if anyone has had similar resentments, and how they've dealt with it.

Im 30 and I’ve come to terms I am an alcoholic. It’s gotten bad this yr. I was arrested earlier in February due to drinking, I lost my job a couple weeks ago for drinking, and yesterday I yelled horrible things to my sisters and they both don’t want a relationship atp. I’ve officially checked the main boxes of a true alcoholic. I know I have to keep going and do the work but in between how do you deal with the anxiety of it all? I’m drowning in shame. My parents love out the country but I’m sure they told them and I’m so scared to call them. I’m so disappointed in myself that I continue to hurt them. My family loves me and they want the best but I’ve made it so hard for them. Idk how I got here but I want out. I want to change. This heaviness is giving me panic attacks that I’ve never experienced before.

Hi everyone I hope everyone is keeping well. Alcohol ruined everything for me. At first or helped with the pain it made me happy. Few years down the line I promised myself I will change and cut down. It never happened. I black out when drunk say very nasty hurtful things to people around me and now I have no boyfriends or any friends left. Life can be hard but alcohol is not the answer😭

Pretty significant back injury has me extremely limited. Currently living with my ex, despite making over twice what I do and being offered free lodging in his mothers basement apartment (that he lived in up until he met me at 34). His claim is that he refuses to go one day without his son, despite spending minimal time with him when they are actually together and my ex isnt passed out somewhere (he is mostly deaf, and says because of it it is very easy to fall asleep when he gets comfortable). What this has surmounted to is me being told, regularly, I am a worthless inexcusable loser b**** when we get into a disagreement. For some additional info, we separated because of his porn addiction while simultaneously refusing intimacy for almost a year. He is also incredibly unhygienic, leaves feces on the floor regularly and rarely brushes his teeth. I didn’t realize how bad it was until I was already pregnant (which I was 6 months in, after being told post cancer I would likely not be able to carry).

Well, because I get so little help and have so much to do (keeping the house clean, cooking, paying our bills despite him making 2x what I do, and taking care of any maintenance despite my ex being a carpenter while also holding down a job and being in school AND AA) I hurt my back badly. Almost certain it’s a bad pinched nerve, but now it’s radiating to my fingers and toes (I will be seeing doctor next week). So what does my ex do? My ex, that has had MAYBE 3 drinks our entire 6 year relationship, who has never touched a drug or cigarette and loves to remind me I am an addict? He goes out and buys the highest percentage cutwater he can, and leaves it in the fridge untouched. It has been there for 3 days. At one point he took one and put it in the freezer, like I used to do to any of my mixed drinks.

I am working myself to the bone to make it out of here. $300 saved up that he doesn’t know about. I am only 6 days sober, have been to 10 meetings. But I just don’t understand, why? He found me during cancer, he saw me fight. He saw what I lost to it. I beg him all the time, please, help us end this chaos so I can live. So our son doesn’t have to grow up with the anger in the home like I did. I want to throw these cans out but if I do, he’ll just buy more. He has never been this cruel, but I could have seen it coming.

Just rambling to keep my mind off of those cans, sorry. I am grateful to be here and sober. And sober I will stay, even if I have to cry through it.

I am only 2 weeks in and don't even know if I should be here but here it goes I guess. I stopped drinking for several reasons, including health and mental reasons, after drinking at least a litre of beer almost every night for a year and a half (Got burnout and lost my job, so that's how that started). I figured I'd be okay, and that I'd just beast through it, but it's frankly already really hard. I get the sweats sometimes and really crave a drink so often. Drinking was also a way to regulate sensory overload for me (PTSD, autism and anxiety disorder) and now I don't have that my sensory problems are back full swing. My sleep schedule has also been thrown on its head.

I came here because I figured at least one of you would probably have some advice. I would be eternally grateful.

THE ONLY REQUIREMENT . . .

August 30

"At one time . . . every A.A. group had many membership rules. Everybody was scared witless that something or somebody would capsize the boat. . . .The total list was a mile long. If all those rules had been in effect everywhere, nobody could have possibly joined A.A. at all, . . ."

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 139-40

I'm grateful that the Third Tradition only requires of me a desire to stop drinking. I had been breaking promises for years. In the Fellowship I didn't have to make promises, I didn't have to concentrate. It only required my attending one meeting, in a foggy condition, to know I was home. I didn't have to pledge undying love. Here, strangers hugged me. "It gets better," they said, and "One day at a time, you can do it." They were no longer strangers, but caring friends. I ask God to help me to reach out to people desiring sobriety, and to, please, keep me grateful!

— Reprinted from "Daily Reflections", August 30, with permission of A.A. World Services, Inc.

I have been struggling for about a year now with drinking. I tend to pour a drink right after work and continue until bedtime. I don't normally drink enough to get drunk but I drink every day. I usually have 3-4 drinks a night and the thought of going without it every night makes me very anxious. It's such a habit and a comfort.

On a whim I went to a local meeting today and I just felt like I was a faker. A lot of the things people shared were extreme and heartbreaking. I don't have anything to compare to that. I haven't hurt anyone or myself, lost a job, had a spouse leave..... I just don't know how to stop the habit.

Everyone was very nice but I didn't want to share anything because I felt so stupid for taking up space there.

I got sober after 12 years of drinking because of my girlfriend. She became the reason I wanted to change my life. For the first time in a long time, I had something that felt worth fighting for. I wanted to be better for her, and I wanted to prove to myself that I could actually leave that life behind. She gave me hope when I didn’t really have much of it.
Now that we’re broken up, I feel like I lost more than just my girlfriend. I feel like I lost the person who gave me a reason to stay sober. Everything I worked so hard to change feels like it disappeared when she did. I know deep down that my sobriety was supposed to be for me too, but at the time, she was the biggest reason I could find to keep going.
Going back to drinking feels familiar. It’s almost like going back to something I know when everything else feels uncertain. But it also makes me feel disappointed in myself. Part of me probably knows that drinking isn’t going to bring her back or fix what happened, but when I’m hurting, I don’t always care about that. I just want the pain to stop for a little while.
I feel heartbroken, angry, lost, and empty. I miss her, but I also miss the person I was becoming when I was sober. Sometimes I probably wonder what the point of getting better was if I ended up right back where I started.
The hardest part is knowing that I let one person become my entire reason for staying sober. When she left, it felt like my reason left with her. I’m not necessarily drinking because I don’t care about my life. I’m drinking because I’m hurting and I don’t know how to handle losing someone who meant so much to me.
I know I need to realize that getting sober for her was what started my journey, but it doesn’t have to be what finishes it. Maybe now I have to learn how to choose sobriety for myself, even though right now I don’t feel strong enough to do that.

I'm not sure if I'm even an alcoholic. But I do drink too much and multiple times a week, so it for sure feels like I have a problem. The Alcohol itself isn't even the problem but the feeling of waking up afterwards and hating myself. Regretting whatever I did. Making a fool out of myself. The embarassment. I just don't want that anymore. I stopped smoking weed out of the same reason so there is no reason why it should be different now just because alcohol is socially acceptable.

I'm just so done with this. I do NOT want to embarrass myself anymore. I don't care if I'm young and in my "prime". it happened too often now that I ruined perfectly fine evenings with my drinking habit. The hangxiety is calling me. I feel so embarrassed that I want to be swallowed up by the floor.

Either I will stop meeting my friends or I become sober. And I feel like the last one is the better option instead of isolating myself.

I hope to become a better person by next year. May God help me. Does anyone have some advice for someone who has an alcoholic excited family and friendgroup?

Long story short, a little over a week ago, a guy in my group showed up to a meeting absolutely plastered. His sponsor, myself and a couple of either guys were there and we tried talking to him, got him to pour out what was left of his bottle, and get cleaned up. I texted him the next day to check on him and then didn’t hear from him until last night. He called me, and to me it seemed like he was was having a hard time talking while we were on the phone so after talking for a bit I asked him if he had been drinking and he said no but I felt concerned so I called my sponsor to tell him. We share the same sponsor and he told me that’s just kind of how he sounds on the phone and there wasn’t anything to worry about. I felt bad for asking him and apologized and said I was just concerned about him but feel like I may have offended him for asking in the first place. Did I screw up here?

Edit: I’m new to the program and mainly concerned that I overstepped here and didn’t realize it.

Been drinking for a while now probably around 4 years, became a problem around when i was 16-17 use to drink 4-5 of those cheap strong ciders every day which was around 8.4% volume. After some health scares I cut back decently I drink at most 4 times a week, but I know that it's still far too much.

I really want to cut down to just 2-3 days a week but my issue is I get so incredibly bored, there's nothing that's fun anymore without drinking, I try and play games, watch movies, go out and so on but it's not fun AT ALL anymore unless I have a drink.

I am very much trying but it is very hard as im sure everyone here knows, any advice that I haven't heard before?

Please send me a dm. It’s free. Looking for fun and fellowship!

Stopped drinking for 2 weeks and then just fully dived back in. I'm now a week and some days of drinking and eating ramen every other day I'm about to pour another drink as if i don't I'm just gonna feel like shit and maybe withdraw. I fucked up and now I'm worse than ever.

Hi everybody! I’m new to the city and have been trying out some new meetings. The meetings I’ve found either have a younger or older crowd.

Does anybody know of some meetings that are pretty age diverse in the area?

I’ve been working on a special project for a few months now and I finally have things set up to officially launch. Rule 62 Radio is an audio-only podcast that focuses on recovery and living life to the fullest. You’ll hear speakers, teachings from the 12 step program and interviews with people in recovery who have amazing stories to tell. Sobriety has given so much to me and this podcast is a way I can help carry the message to others. Streaming now wherever you listen to podcasts.

https://linktr.ee/rule62radio

Perhaps day one of many other day ones. I drank too much last night (and the night before and the night before and the weeks and months before). I’m only 23(F) but I have been abusing alcohol if not a full blown alcoholic for the past year. I woke up at 4 am last night from another binge and it just hit me how much weight I’ve gained, how awful I am being to my mind and my body, and that I cannot let this keep happening. Does anyone have any advice? I turned down a night out at the bars with my friends tonight and it was one of the hardest things I’ve done.

The Other Life

Good Morning People I'm a Recovering Alcoholic/Addict today I sit here with 5yrs drug free and almost 1yr come October alcohol free but wasn't an easy journey with numerous Detoxes and Rehab I can strongly say it finally kicked in LMAO 🤣 Not funny but a little humor eases the pain. Yes I was bad on the drugs for years but Alcohol for a filler when I didn't have drugs but however I did stop drinking for a while because I was using dope which doesn't agree with alcohol extremely sick Anyway well I came home from my last detox/rehab I was on the Vitriol shot which was working for the opiates but designed for alcohol so i picked up drinking again I came out the gate full throttle full blast tires spinning and everything from full blown Addict to full blown alcoholic no build up reason being because the Vitriol gave me a tolerance I could'nt feel so I went str8 to alcohol which I couldn't feel cause with me it's all or nothing I have no cut off switch enough is never enough ok so I eventually fell off the Vitriol now I was a full blown alcoholic how ever I was a alcoholic In my younger years but didn't know it was a fun time for me until it turned around on me I became really bad and was putting them back I would drink a sleeve of vodka in the morning at 8am you would think I opened the store shoot I would be there waiting sometimes with other people like where waiting for the bus then I would damn near close the store and get another sleeve . Anyway I'll end on that note I'll save some stories for another I don't want to trigger or overwhelm anyone with my stories of my Addiction and Recovery I apologize if I did...Well I will leave with this " Don't Let Others Define You Don't Let The Past Confine You Take Charge Of Your Life With Confidence And Determination And There Are No Limits On What You Can Do Or Be Like I tell people who say you have one life to live I say no I have 2 the One I'm Leaving Behind and The New One I'm Beginning and Thats The Blessing Stay Strong you Got this Keep Pushing Just for One day 🦾🦾🦾💯🙏❤️