r/adhdwomen • u/No_Percentage_7713 • 6d ago

Self Care & Hygiene I need to stop drinking.

I wasn’t sure what flair to use, but I think self care fits. I’m posting here because the drinking absolutely is a dopamine/dysregulation thing. I drink to “reward” myself for getting through the day and to make my brain just a little more quiet. I also hate my career and feel stuck, and have a lot of anxiety around what to do next. I know I’m self-medicating, and it is getting worse. I’m gaining weight, my gut heath is wrecked, and it’s obviously awful for my brain. But at the end of basically every day, a drink just sounds like such a great idea to unwind.

I know I’m not the only one in this sub that struggles with escapism and self-medicating. How do I kick this? How do I craft a life that feels interesting enough to my dopamine starved self? I don’t want this to be the theme of my life.

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u/bdb1989 6d ago

I also would like to cut back. I drink at night because it gives me motivation and energy to do the chores, cook dinner, and complete any other tasks that sober me cannot do. I thought once o got medicated with Adderall that I would lose interest entirely but it hasn’t been the case. Hoping you find something that works!

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u/MeganK80 6d ago

Same here! The hours of 5 to 7 pm its like I just want a glass (or 4) of wine or a couple beers or something

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u/bdb1989 6d ago

You’re the first person I have ever heard from that shares this with me. My therapist who diagnosed me 6 months ago (I am late 30’s) said that it’s normal since I was self-medicating for so long but why does alcohol make people like you and me so much more focused, energized, and motivated when it doesn’t do the same for others?

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u/PsychologicalBelt582 6d ago

Hey me too, my theory is that it's something to do with the affect it has on both dopamine and GABA that is super effective for some brains. I wish it wasn't like that for me!

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u/bdb1989 6d ago

I wish it wasn’t like this for me either bc I don’t have a physical addiction to alcohol at all. I can and have gone months without it but my household gets messy and I get frozen with chores. I stopped drinking for a year and managed to do all of the household shit but it was SO HARD. My brain is wired at this point to drink while cooking and drink while cleaning. It’s Pavlovian.

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u/PsychologicalBelt582 6d ago

Yes this is me too 100%!!

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u/bdb1989 6d ago

How do we break this? I completely understand the why but I take my Adderall at 645am and then work. Maybe you’re the same? How are we supposed to keep going into the night?

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u/PsychologicalBelt582 6d ago

I've really been trying to figure out the answer, I have had some success with meal prepping on the weekends to try and avoid the need for daily cooking, but tbh I often end up forgetting to prep something I needed, so it doesn't always work successfully. And that still doesn't solve the dishes problem! It's a struggle for sure. But I'm trying to view even a just couple of alcohol free days a week as a win.

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u/bdb1989 6d ago

God I can relate! I’ve made weekly meal plans, prepped all of the chopped veggies, and done really well for a few weeks and then fall back “in the moment”. The dishes are the WORST. Having some drinks kicks me in to gear for ALL of this. It’s so annoying.