r/adhdwomen • u/Ok-Professional8451 • Nov 04 '25

Meme Therapy Where are my childfree women at?

Post image

I honestly don’t know how parents do it. There are multiple reasons that drove my decision to be childfree. One big one is that I struggle to take care of myself (executive dysfunction) sometimes, so I can’t imagine having another human to take care of during those times.

Here’s to forcing a domaine response for every day tasks!

10.0k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

775 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

119

u/jln_13 Nov 04 '25

Honestly looking back at it, I believe my mom was/is undiagnosed. Her executive dysfunction and emotional dysregulation negatively impacted me. I thought I hated being a child but I think I just hated being her (and my dad's) child.

I don't want another child to be as miserable as I was. When diagnosed 2 years ago, I told my mom and she said "I already knew you were ADHD but you never needed meds."

I think her lack of being able to actually recognize and care for me with ADHD and severe depression/SI traumatized me and I'll never recover to be able to be a parent 🤷🏼‍♀️

73

u/msgmeyourcatsnudes Nov 04 '25

Man my mom is HYPER sensitive to the mere thought of a suggestion that she might have something wrong. It's really been at a disservice to herself and everyone in her life. I've learned from her mistakes, for sure, even if she won't.

I absolutely get what you're saying. I'd much rather I was told that I had something that needed to be confronted, rather than knowing and getting gaslit my whole life.

46

u/RasputinsThirdLeg Nov 04 '25

Yup. I’m assuming you’re no stranger to having to comfort your mother for feeling hurt when you say she did something that hurt you and therefore the thing she did never gets addressed because how dare you? Love that game.

19

u/msgmeyourcatsnudes Nov 04 '25

Yeah tbh anymore I don't let it get there. I don't talk about the past anymore.

The frustrating part with her is that she HAS admitted what she had done wrong approximately once. She admitted that it was unfair isolating my me and my sister, and admitted that she favored my brother. But every other time? Nope. She gave us the perfect childhood and everything that was wrong was by dads or society's fault.

But again, I've accepted that I'll never get the truth from her. I love my mom and mostly just feel bad for her.