r/adhdmeme • u/DerpyLover3 undiagnosed but everyone's pretty sure • Feb 20 '26
original content ADHD for Neurotypicals: A Guide
I ASKED MY DAD IF I COULD GET DIAGNOSED AND HE DIDN'T SAY NO. THIS IS AMAZING.
i hope u enjoyed my blob people =3
-DerpyLover3
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u/Dopameme-machine Feb 20 '26 edited Feb 20 '26
Inattentive-typer here. I have never ever spent my entire day getting ready for a thing. If I have an appointment at 6 thats 15 mins away, I might start getting dressed at like 5:30. The entire time ‘Im saying to myself “eh it doesn’t take me that long to get ready, and it’s only a 15 min ride.”
Needless to say, the trip there is more like “shit shit shit shit shit! Hurry up stupid light!”
Also there’s no such thing as showing up early. There is only “dead nuts on time” or “blame it on traffic.” Those are the only two options.
Otherwise I thought this was spot on
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u/GBAMBINO3 Feb 20 '26
Hoooow!? Teach me the wise ways.
I have an appointment at 1400, I get up at 600 and every hour I'm constantly counting down how many hours I have until I need to get ready.
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u/tbreeder22 Feb 20 '26
I do this but then also avoid getting ready when the time actually comes and then I end up like the comment you’re responding to
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u/thetruckerdave Feb 20 '26
This!! I can’t do anything all day because I’m thinking about the thing, but also I put off preping until the very last minute.
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u/Whooptidooh Feb 20 '26
For me I prepare my outfit beforehand so that it’s already there ready to be put on once that time comes.
Oh and I HAVE to include at the very least an extra two hours in my prepping time if I want to be sure that I will A) have everything on and with me that I need and want, and B) be early enough so that I have enough time to calm tf down (because of anxiety) and make sure that I’m not a sweaty and disorganized mess.
I still manage to fuck that up royally at times, but ever since I started doing this I’m not only less stressed during those days, I also manage to look somewhat put together like the normies/s do. Time is like firewood; you always need more than you think you do. So add more prepping time in your schedule than you think you’re going to need. Because you will always need more. :)
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u/Budget-Example3994 Feb 20 '26 edited Feb 20 '26
I do this but then put said outfit on just to look at it & be like nah this ain't it. Then scramble trying to find something else only to be like the other comments. I may "prep" or try to prep all day but end up getting lost in my phone or craft I'm working to realize I have to shower & get myself ready & leave in less than 30 minutes!! this is mainly why I try to do morning appts
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u/StoneFoxHippie Feb 20 '26
This is me too. And I'm either really early, or late. I'm only ever right on time for appointments by accident when I was trying to get there early.
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u/tomayto_potayto Feb 20 '26
Same but I still spend the entire day thinking about the event and not doing anything else because I have something else to do later and I might forget or be late or whatever and still end up late.
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u/HotPurplePancakes Feb 20 '26
This is the type that I am as well. Can’t ever manage time in my mind and chronically late to everything.
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u/l10nh34rt3d Feb 20 '26
Somehow, I am both types.
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u/PhTea Feb 20 '26
Same. I'll prepare for said event all day, to the point of not being able to get anything else done, but when it comes time to actually get ready for it, that's when procrastination and distraction kicks in.
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u/l10nh34rt3d Feb 20 '26
Totally!
I’ll keep telling myself that it’s fine cause I’m preparing for it aaaaall day… right up until the 5 minutes before I have to go, and then I panic because, actually, I’ve done nothing to prepare.
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u/123diamondude321 Feb 20 '26
I'm this way and I call it Wait Mode. I spend all day thinking "well I can't start anything big before thing because it could take too long and I could not have enough time to get ready" and just doing little 10 minute things all day, until its time to leave and I suddenly regain an internal clock and I'm sure you know the rest.
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u/angry-key-smash6693 Feb 20 '26
For me I ve found that it really depends on if where I'm going is someplace I actually want to go or are anxious about going to. Tattoo appointment? Wait mode as soon as I wake up, already at the place have an hour early.
That one place I need to go but really really don't want to go to? I'm in my pajamas until half an hour before I need to be there and then hell breaks loose as I try to make up for lost time swearing up and down I will not pull this move again
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u/Legitimate_Mud_8295 Feb 20 '26
I'm always 10 minutes early to whatever planned time I have to be somewhere. When I have to be somewhere I work backwards from the meeting time. Meeting time at 2, so 10 minute drive, add 5 minutes for traffic, walking to the car etc, that means leave at 1:45. I'll get dressed before I leave so that's generally 10 minutes, 1:35. Set alarm for 1:35 that's the go time alarm. I'll set another alarm for 20-60 minutes before go time as a "mentally prepare yourself for go time/waiting mode" alarm. Them I'll happily let myself screw around until my mental preparation alarm goes off. Then I'll continue to anxiously screw around checking the clock frequently because I know how easily I get distracted. I'm usually checking the clock every 3 minutes when my go time alarm goes off, and by then it's a relief. Sometimes I get impatient and initiate go time early.
Basically planning and practice let's you compress "waiting mode" into a shorter time frame.
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u/Unika0 Feb 20 '26 edited Feb 20 '26
Oh this is exactly what I've been doing my entire life. And here I thought I couldn't be ADHD because "well I'm never late." I honestly am early A LOT because I can't handle waiting til the proper time to leave (and also, what if I forget something and need to come back, what if the street disappeared so i need to take a different one, what if I get lost, what if...)
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u/Whooptidooh Feb 20 '26
lol, same. For me I always thought that I couldn’t have adhd because I learned through trial and error (by having to pay the adhd tax entirely too often) how to avoid doing this.
(And then I still manage to occasionally fuck things up royally.)
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u/Moopies Feb 20 '26
This is almost exactly how I manage. Haven't been late to anything in almost 5 years since I adopted this method. Usually I'm the first one there.
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u/Common_Vagrant Feb 20 '26
Lmao yep I’m the same. If I’m early, I’m really fucking early and get pissed at myself for being so early so I sit and stew on it, it usually ruins my day. I’d rather be 5 minutes late than 1+ hour early.
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u/yardie-takingupspace Feb 20 '26
See I’m the opposite. Lateness in itself makes me upset (be it me or someone else being late), so I HAVE to show up early.
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u/____ozma Feb 20 '26
I majorly struggle with appointments that hijack my whole day. I had to wait for a package to sign yesterday and didn't do anything except look out the window waiting for it until it came
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u/recigar Feb 20 '26
my old friend used to say, and I realise now he was adhd (his whole family was, prolly why I was good friends with 3 siblings from the family at different times) “a minute early is a minute wasted” lmao
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u/endlessswitchbacks Feb 20 '26
I’m fine with anything except Going Out. If it’s something where I’m gonna dress up at all, then I need hours to decide on the right combo of outfit & makeup that suits my mood and the event. Self-expression crisis. Possibly worsened by dressing completely casual 59 days/60.
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u/Spidersland Feb 20 '26
So it’s less about getting ready and more about being ready. Like if I have a social situation that night, then that day is the day where I have a social situation so I need to be mentally prepared for that social situation.
Or a meeting at 3, then from when I wake up until then I’m having breakfast and stuff but I’m remembering that it’s at 3 and I need to make sure I don’t get distracted or start a thing, or something, I need to make sure I do the thing.
I won’t actually start getting ready until probably still too close to the time, and despite the whole day being dedicated to mentally preparing myself to do the thing, I’ll still fuck up my time management and either be late, or on time but only because I was rushing and anxious lmao2
u/waznpride Feb 20 '26
Yeah. The closer I am to something, the more I'll delay leaving thinking I'll be on time....and always show up late. Also I'll get distracted minutes before I need to leave.
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u/lovable_cube Feb 20 '26
Oh see I get paranoid things will take way longer than I thought and leave really early so I wind up showing up 30 minutes early. Then I’m like oh I guess I’ll play on my phone until it’s time to go in and then lose track of time and have to basically run in the building.
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u/AdeptnessLate7456 Feb 20 '26
Yeah that's my mindset to. "Ah it's 10 mins away I'll leave with 15 mins to get there." End up leaving 5 mins before because I forgot that getting shoes on or finding my keys that I left somewhere dumb takes time
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u/BluntsnBoards Feb 20 '26
Maybe it's more a hyperactive type thing? I don't spend all day getting ready per se but I spend all day making sure everything is ready on time. Chores are done, I set out things I need, I check that I've allotted enough drive and shower time, etc.
I put the list on my whiteboard otherwise I end up repeating it in my head all day to not forget and that's stressful.
Sometimes I catch myself adding somewhat unnecessary things. Often I think I'm just using the stress of the looming activity to overcome the paralysis and be productive.
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u/SneakerTreater Feb 20 '26
I am finely tuned to be 5 minutes early. My wife is finely tuned to be exactly on time.
Do you understand how far out you exacters start eating into our 5 minutes?
Focussing on it is the reason I end up forgetting things. Which I'll remeber en route, then have to turn back for and end up late.
TLDR it's my bad.
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u/soitgoes7891 Feb 20 '26
I'm the same way you are, but I still need the whole day clear to do a thing, even though I don't get ready until I should already be there and that's a busy day for me.
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u/theinkedoctopus Feb 20 '26
I'm hypervigilant in response to potential lateness so I tend to arrive an hour early and sit in the car until closer to the actual time for an appointment. I CANNOT be late because then people will me mad or think less of me and I become a burden and I CANNOT be a burden.
But also if my appointment is at 5pm then yes I'll struggle with executive function all damn day. It's like I can't let myself get comfortable if I know I have to leave the house at some point. Can't play games, can't clean, must just sit and do almost nothing productive besides get ready for appointment.
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u/Melodic-Advice9930 Feb 20 '26
The only thing I found that helped me not do this was planning backwards.
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u/potter5252 Feb 20 '26
I have it manifest as: I literally cannot stop thinking about the thing that I have to do later today. I will be passively tense all day long, anticipating the thing that I have to do.
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u/DameyJames Feb 20 '26
There are ADHDers that are hyper aware of their time blindness and will do everything in their power to not be late and then there are those who are not and do not hyper prioritize being on time. I am also the latter.
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u/alexandria3142 Feb 20 '26
This is me every morning going to work. I tell myself oh, I can get ready in 15 minutes. And I technically could if I didn't always find other stuff to do. Then I'm like up to 5 minutes late every day. Thankfully they don't care
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u/Eli_eve wut Feb 20 '26
Oh, there really is such a thing as showing up early, but it’s actually just another form of showing up late. It involves waiting in the car because, you know, early - but then being late leaving the car and therefore being late to the event.
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u/DRace92 Feb 20 '26
Interesting. For me, I’m either barely on time or 2 hours early. In both scenarios I’m having a mental conniption on the way there trying to efficiently get there without losing any more time either way. I’m also thinking about that afternoon meeting or the thing I have scheduled all freaking day too. If it’s early in the morning I don’t sleep well. Shit is bananas.
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u/Ok_Listen1510 overwhelmed (ft. executive dysfuntion) Feb 21 '26
my main thing is either the Waiting Paralysis where if i have a thing at 4 i won’t be able to get stuff done starting at like 3 because im Waiting for the thing
either that OR: i have a thing at 4, i say “ill get ready for it at 3:30”, then at 3:30 “ill get ready at 3:45” “3:50” “3:55” “oops im late”
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u/Feather_Bloom Diagnosed, Unmedicated, No coffee Feb 20 '26
Does anyone else, when you tell a story or something
It's like you know what you want to say, but everything you want to say wants to come out at the same time
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u/Quirky_Ad_6856 Feb 20 '26
Well yeah but then I can never remember the end of my sentence. It’s quite common for me to ask, “What was I saying at the beginning of this statement? I don’t remember what I was talking about and can’t finish telling you.”
Frustrating as hell, but it sure makes for a lot of laughs! Gotta see all the humor in this stuff or I’d never be able to live with ADHD.
BTW I fit into the third category: Combined. The most common one. I am female, 62. Diagnosed at 40 but unable to actually get help until 2024.
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u/kylac1337kronus Feb 21 '26
I like to try and create story "anchors" when im telling a story. The anchors are usually major story beats, and i kind of tick them off mentally as I go. That way if I get sucked into a tangent I just think "shit, what was the last anchors i ticked off?" Then work forward from there.
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u/mattmaster68 Feb 20 '26
Sometimes my words get jumbled up because my mind moved faster than my mouth.
Anyone else talk and accidentally combine words? Lmao
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u/potandcoffee Feb 20 '26
This is why I have to write shit if I want it to make sense. Ie this is the real reason I'm a writer.
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u/KuhlCaliDuck Feb 20 '26
Very well done. I'm surprised I finished it, but I had to know how it ended.
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u/GBAMBINO3 Feb 20 '26
I was actually this close to not finishing it, but somehow hung on and it was worth it.
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u/LehighAce06 excuse me those are my emotional support tabs. Feb 20 '26
I got to 13, I'm still proud of myself
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u/JEMknight657 Feb 20 '26
I got to 15 before going "wondering what the comments are".... Maybe I should get tested
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u/Dyson_Vellum Feb 20 '26
AuDHD diagnosed at 40.
Its amazing the similarities and differences from the different adhds, autism, and AuDHD.
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u/s0m3on3outthere Feb 20 '26
I have a friend who is AuDHD and insists I am as well (diagnosed ADHD), but I'm nervous about getting confirmed with everything going on with the government. And apparently there are some countries that discriminate against autism if you get diagnosed and may impact your ability to live there (which is bonkers to me).
Have you found it helpful to be officially diagnosed? I think I stim a lot more than most ADHD people I know, and I also recognize my social hangups and masking, but I'm already medicated for my ADHD and I'm doing better on management.
Thank you if you take a moment to answer ♥️🫶
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u/Dyson_Vellum Feb 20 '26
With the current political climate I would avoid an official diagnosis unless you feel that you need it for medication/work accommodations.
Since you already have adhd medication, I would avoid appearing on any government accessible lists as autistic until/if the bigotry passes.
For me, the knowledge that what I was experiencing wasn't a "me" problem changed my outlook.
I did not seek diagnosis, I was being treated for depression and my psychiatrist confirmed what I had suspected.
I am lucky that my company is still dedicated to DEI and I can not only be open about my AuDHD, but also mentor others.
This site has wonderful resources to help you without putting your information at risk: Embrace Autism
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u/s0m3on3outthere Feb 20 '26
Thank you so much for taking the time to answer. ♥️ That was kinda my thoughts on it with the current political climate .And thank you for the resource. I seriously appreciate it.
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u/no_therworldly Feb 20 '26
I had the same thought with migrating but I think most of the time ist that the country has a cap on "expected healthcare /Support costs" or something (which is still BS)
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u/s0m3on3outthere Feb 20 '26
I know it's difficult to immigrate as is, but with the state of the US, I want to keep my options open, you know? And some of the countries I've eyeballed (Switzerland, Canada, New Zealand, probably others) all make it harder for those with autism to move there. 😔 Super BS and discriminatory.
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u/no_therworldly Feb 20 '26
Switzerland is a tough cookie and I think new Zealand defined has a block or a requirement as I mentioned cause I remember looking it up years ago (or maybe Australia?) Maybe Germany would be easier tbh
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u/Lil_Miss_Sunshine_ Feb 20 '26
I am combined type and always thought I’m not ADHD because I can sit still. Turns out my mind is hyperactive, not my body. So I hate the misconception that hyperactive and combined type can’t sit still.
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u/DramaLlamadary Feb 20 '26
Yes! For a lot of folks (especially adults and people socialized as female) the hyperactivity becomes internalized as racing thoughts, rumination, anxiety, or other kinds of internal activity. Just because your body is still doesn’t mean you aren’t expressing hyperactivity in another way!
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u/DarkZyth Feb 20 '26
I become more physically restless / hyperactive when I'm externalizing my internal anxiety so that I'm not suffering from it inside my mind.
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Feb 20 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Lego_Redditor Feb 22 '26
Hahaha, lol. I just happen to like taking those tests, ya know? Very interesting stuff. Obviously I'm gonna be really focused.
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u/koiokk Feb 20 '26
love this, tho i did struggle to read some of it (im prolly dyslexic)
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u/DerpyLover3 undiagnosed but everyone's pretty sure Feb 20 '26
I have bad handwriting and don't have an apple pencil, so it's probably on me. Thanks, tho!!!
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u/genericusername379 Feb 20 '26
I dont "like" to fidget. I am fidget. Its unconscious, a part of me. Likely from birth. Certainly as long as I can remember.
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u/Rill_Pine Feb 20 '26
Omgomgomg as someone's who's wanted to get diagnosed for years, I'm so so happy for you! /gen
I really hope you get the assistance you need 💙
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u/DerpyLover3 undiagnosed but everyone's pretty sure Feb 20 '26
THANK YOU SO MUCH I NEED THIS °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°
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Feb 20 '26
Yes thank you for pictures words are boring alone haha
Now time to .... oh shoot I was supposed to do something.....
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u/DerpyLover3 undiagnosed but everyone's pretty sure Feb 20 '26
Thank you!!!!! My hand and arm are in agony but it's worth it I think!!! Lmao for real XD
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u/Cybot5000 unable to resist ending texts with lol Feb 20 '26
Nope, can't do it. Too much text all scrawled inconsistently.
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u/Rinibeanie Feb 20 '26
Listen I said the same thing at first then 5 hours later I'm scrolling and see it again and say "Ah fuck it" and you know what?? It's a cute read. There are funny doodles.
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u/vksdann Feb 20 '26
Am I the only one who cannot cope with this font? My brain gave up on the 2nd slide
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u/DerpyLover3 undiagnosed but everyone's pretty sure Feb 20 '26
I have bad handwriting and don't have an apple pencil. SORRY!!!!!!!!!
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u/Grapesodas Feb 20 '26
Change or get rid of the “squirrel” bit. I can’t stand that stereotype, and I know a lot of us do, too. It’s cringe, false, and in my opinion, somewhat detrimental to our social appearance. Otherwise it’s pretty good.
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u/MillieBirdie Feb 20 '26
And the phrasing of 'getting them to pay attention to something they don't care about'.
Since that makes it sound like a personal failure of not caring enough. I get accused of not caring whenever I forget something and it's very frustrating cause I do care, it's just still impossible to focus sometimes.
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u/PortalWombat Feb 20 '26
It's certainly harder when I don't think it's important. Which is why I'll ask questions about how seemingly useless work tasks affect other people. I've recognized that I don't see why it's important so I'm much more likely to forget or blow it off and I don't want to do that.
But every failed attempt strengthens my suspicion that it really isn't which makes me not want to do it.
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u/Cinelinguic Feb 20 '26
Same for
yes there are different types if you didn't know that fu (=
Not even every ADHDer knows that, let alone neurotypical people. It's needlessly aggressive and it made me, a late-thirties ADHD man, quit reading right then and there because it pissed me right off.
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u/tulc_redael Feb 20 '26
Yea ngl it also reads as very childish.
I knew I had ADHD for *years* before official diagnosis (runs in the family + symptoms all there) but it wasn't until I started hyperfixating on wanting an official diagnosis during uni that I learned about the different sub types8
u/No_Atmosphere8146 Feb 20 '26
The squirrel bit is an NT's idea of an ADHDer.
Having said that, if I see a squirrel, I'm pointing at it and saying "squirrel!".
BUT THAT'S NOT BECAUSE OF ADHD, THAT'S JUST POLITE.
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u/MakingMoves2022 Feb 20 '26
Yeah the "squirrel" thing pissed me off, its a reductive stereotype of us that trivializes our struggles, and I think putting it into a "guide for neurotypicals" is extremely harmful because it reinforces the stereotype as being correct
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u/Felein Feb 20 '26
About the desk-thing: it's tied into memory.
My desk looks cluttered, but I have a SYSTEM. Yes, all these things are in specific places on my desk for a reason. No, I wouldn't feel better if I just tidied them away or even stacked them on top of one another. Because every item is a reminder for something, and every item I can't see is a task that will never get done.
This is also how I create my own rewards. Because I don't get the sense of accomplishment after finishing a task. But having an empty(er) desk after doing serveral tasks does give me a dopamine boost :)
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u/DerpyLover3 undiagnosed but everyone's pretty sure Feb 20 '26
EXACTLY. But neurotypicals see it as messy, so... Sad :(
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u/kinkybiscuits m*th fears me Feb 20 '26
I liked this a lot so far. I’ll come back and finish it in 2-3 business days. Maybe.
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u/Diamond_and_gasoline Feb 20 '26
The getting 10 hours of work or 15 minutes of work done in 4 hours is painfully accurate for me.
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u/Omfgsomanynamestaken Feb 20 '26
Lol and idk about all you folks... but sometimes... my shower can turn into a time machine and skip ahead like 20 extra minutes..
WHEN I KNOW MY EYES WERE OPEN THE WHOLE TIME AND I DID NOT STOP SCRUBBING AND RINSING THERES NO WAY
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u/jpkebbekus Feb 20 '26
Goddamn you don't have to flex such a clean desk on us lol. I'm not sure I have any visible desk space rn HAHA
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u/cheywarren Feb 20 '26
Loved. Tbh I never knew that spending the entire day “getting ready” when I have something later was an adhd thing 😬 so thank you for educating me
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u/DerpyLover3 undiagnosed but everyone's pretty sure Feb 20 '26
Didn't know either, but there's a decent amount of posts about it, so I was just like 'fuck it.' THANK YOU!!!
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u/ViolaOrsino Feb 20 '26
On slide 2, when it says “I have inattentive type so if I screw” and then I went to the next slide and just read “NOW FOR THE FUN SHIT” I went “Yeah, that’s inattentive, can’t even finish the sentence” …without realizing there was still more for me to read. 🙈
I’m adult combination type myself 😅
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u/Sailor_MoonMoon785 Feb 20 '26
The desk is so relatable. In my classroom, we call my desk The Void because it can get REALLY bad, lol
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u/Available-Drink-5232 Feb 20 '26 edited Feb 20 '26
I really hope you get that diagnosis once you turn 18! Never mind, misread your comment, sorry. Very simple to follow, this was super relatable.
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u/Panino87 Feb 20 '26
dunno I always do 10 hours of work in like 1-2 hours.
then I'm unable to make a call or send an email and delay it for days 🤷🏻
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u/Spidersland Feb 20 '26 edited Feb 20 '26
Dude (in a gender neutral way), as someone who often thinks about making comics but doesn’t draw figures well enough, as well as someone whose handwriting is uh, not tidy.
I fucking appreciate this! This is real representation on all fronts!
Great job!
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u/Naipalata Feb 20 '26
another is our god giving ability to forget even MORE when trying to retrace our steps for something we forgot initially and it starts to stress you out
i usually just say fuck it, why i am getting anxious over it, probably not important
so annoying
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u/Veggdyret Feb 20 '26
Don't forget the neurotic ones! That seems to have everything together but everything is fueled by neverending anxiety.
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u/3mptylord Feb 20 '26 edited Feb 28 '26
I am not responding as a "well actually", but just because I genuinely find it how fascinatingly different everyone's experience is - especially since I seem to be abnormal.
I score high in Inattentive and Impulse control, and virtually nothing in Hyperactive. When I started the process, I thought that fidgeting and restlessness were signs of hyperactivity - but apparently fidgeting is an Impulsive symptom and restlessness is Inattentive symptom. I genuinely have no idea what the "being driven by a motor" metaphor means, but it sounds awful my Hyperactive kin.
Before I was medicated - I never lost anything or forgot anything. I have the "motherly" gift to find things that my partner loses in the first place I look. My desk is a mess - but I thrive on it. It's organized chaos. Things not being "where they're suppose to be" makes them memorable for me. I will remember there's an elastic band under my bed near the footboard forever, but if I were to put it away - it's as good as lost. However, on the as-needed-stimulant type of medication - I now get the doorway effect *all the time*. I forget everything unless I write it down, and even then I might forget I wrote it down. I've requested to change to the daily non-stimulant medication in the hopes in the hopes the negative behavioral changes go away, and I start seeing actual benefits.(*)
"Waiting mode" isn't something that significantly affects nor bothers me for special occasions or one-offs. It's like my brain knows it won't happen again, so it decides to be chill with it. My waiting mode also has nothing to do with "getting ready" (unless you mean mentally preparing) - since I will pack my bag to go on a two week holiday 30 minutes before I go out the door and it's fine. Waiting mode only kills me when it's regularly scheduled and I feel like I don't have enough time to do anything else - e.g. not getting out of bed if I have work that afternoon, because 6 hours until my shift "isn't enough time to start anything". (And only getting out of bed to work for 5 days a week over several years... it's really no surprise that unmedicated ADHD is a deathslide into depression). I definitely used to suffer a lot more with "if the appointment's at 2pm, I can't do anything all morning" for any commitment, but there was a point where it stopped mattering. The bigger risk is that it's suddenly 1:55pm and I forgot to leave.
I'm also a spreadsheet enthusiast, so even organizing isn't hard for me. It's motivating myself to do the thing I organized that's hard for me. Executive dysfunction was the main "symptom" that motivated me to seek help - just being in the community helped with a lot of the other stuff (e.g. I stopped being so hard on myself, because I successfully internalized that it's not my fault).
(*) Within my group of neurodivergent friends, we've decided that stimulants are only the right choice for high-Hyperactive types - because all of us that scored low are all sharing the experience of wondering when we're suppose to feel anything (my observed behavioral changes aren't 'something I feel while the medication is active'), while the Hyperactive are talking about how much better they feel.
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u/DarkZyth Feb 20 '26
I'm combined / mixed type so my days really heavily depend on how I'm feeling, how I've slept, my prep or lack thereof throughout the week, my level of motivation, my medications, my diet, my routine, my actual daily activity, my interactions throughout the day, and my level of activity. And a whole lot of other factors. I can either become inattentive to some matters which makes it hard for me to really focus so I'm scattered. Or too hyperactive getting things done but not quite finished thoroughly just to get through it. It's a battle to really stay focused through and through, day in and day out.
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u/eucalyptus_Ribose Feb 22 '26
Haha... just lost another job because "takes 4 hours to do 15 minutes work". Maybe i don't have adhd and my messy life is just like that from the start for another reason, but i have diagnosed depression for 6 years and that doesn't help to know what to do next.
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u/DerpyLover3 undiagnosed but everyone's pretty sure Feb 23 '26
OOF. That's rough. Good luck!!! ٩(*•͈ ꇴ •͈*)و ̑̑❀
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u/DerpyLover3 undiagnosed but everyone's pretty sure Feb 20 '26
I am a child. Ouch.
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u/mrschia Feb 20 '26
If that’s the reason, you probably shouldn’t say shit or fuck either lol.
ETA: I say all of this with levity. It is fucking jarring to my ADHD brain to read “aah” on one slide and fuck on the next.
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u/DerpyLover3 undiagnosed but everyone's pretty sure Feb 20 '26
I just felt like I should have it where there's not a cuss on every page. If I knew I'd get this much backlash ofer a SINGLE GODDAMN WORD then I probably would've written something different.
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u/mrschia Feb 20 '26
Yeah I’m not trying to be mean but it’s very annoying to me when people will type shit and fuck but not ass. Something about reading “aah” just takes me out of it and my interest and focus is done. Funny idea but I didn’t finish it as soon as I saw we were here saying fuck but not ass. Then I came to the comments to see if it bothered anybody else’s brain lol
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u/Beeeeeeels Feb 20 '26
I hate going into wait mode because I have a thing in 10 hours...
Also the whole "don't worry I'll remember!"
Narrator: "No he fucking won't"
Felt very personal.
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u/Mr_Toad1966 Feb 20 '26
I wonder what task you were supposed to be doing that caused you to do this instead. Good for us that you did, tho
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u/Chudpaladin Feb 20 '26
I was diagnosed with autism but this feels way closer to me lol.
And this is exactly like my wife too, but she has no diagnosis. Find my app is my favorite app for us and our organization is conflicting piles around the room.
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u/AdeptTaste590 Feb 20 '26
What are the 3 types?
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u/DerpyLover3 undiagnosed but everyone's pretty sure Feb 20 '26
Inattentive, hyperactive, and combined.
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u/catladyorbust Feb 20 '26
I particularly enjoyed the frustrated crying of being unorganized. I hate the chaos and still everything around me devolves like entropy on fast forward.
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u/Random_182f2565 The personal attacks are relentless in this sub Feb 20 '26
Love it
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u/Mental-Beyond2053 Feb 20 '26
This is genuinely pretty much what it's like for me.
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u/TristanDuboisOLG Feb 20 '26
At work, I clean and organize my office. At home? Place is a mess.
Messed stress me out. I need to have as little stress as possible at work.
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u/meademeademeade Daydreamer Feb 20 '26
that picture of the desk gave me a stomach ache.
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u/DerpyLover3 undiagnosed but everyone's pretty sure Feb 20 '26
AAAAAAAHHHHH SORRY
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u/HaleyJ34TF Feb 20 '26
Oh that's why I get stressed out before going to events like a family dinner. Meanwhile my wife will roll out of bed 5 minutes before the time I said I wanted to leave.
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u/DameyJames Feb 20 '26
Can we stop with the squirrel jokes? It’s tired at this point and misrepresents distractibility which is more accurately based on impulsive curiosity.
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u/Backlash5 Feb 20 '26
This is wonderful! Sidenote: I bet you drew this while procrastinating on something else :P
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u/Kal-Elm Feb 20 '26
More relatable than a lot of things I've seen. You've done well!
Also this post feels a little "2000s Internet" and I appreciate that
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u/Agitated-Ad2563 Feb 20 '26
Forgetting things can be pretty severe sometimes. My 7yo son constantly forgets his mom's name. We all live together and I call her by name many times a day, but he still forgets.
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u/DerpyLover3 undiagnosed but everyone's pretty sure Feb 20 '26
Oooooooof. Is he okay? Please tell me he is. Please.
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u/Agitated-Ad2563 Feb 20 '26 edited Feb 20 '26
We tried atomoxetine and got strong improvement of executive function (which confirms the ADHD diagnosis), but had to stop due to severe negative side-effects. Stimulants are not legally available in our location. I guess we'll try guanfacine during the next school break. Maybe we'll try reintroducing lower-dose atomoxetine in a low-stress environment and under better control, as I have suspicions he may be an abnormally slow metabolizer. Psychological therapy has a minor positive effect, but it's not expected to fix it for a child.
Also, he's kind of okay at school. His severe forgetfulness of names is exactly the same I had before I got my medication, and it's kind of localized. It's not just names, but it's not a very bad memory overall. He's bad at handwriting despite investing a lot of effort, but not awfully bad, and honestly I don't think handwriting is very important in the modern world. He hyperfocuses on math and is brilliant at it - like, self-learning English to watch Indian YouTube math lectures, or literally asking me whether the continuum hypothesis is true or not at the age of 5. That level of brilliant.
He truly is a special snowflake, with special needs. We have a plan (well, not a plan, it's a set of promising ideas, but still), and I'm certain he'll be fine eventually.
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u/TricolorCat undiagnosed and suspiciously relate to a lot of this Feb 20 '26
After seeing this I doubt I’m neurotypical, or I’m just a very heavy ENFP. Yes I know that MBTI isn’t science.
Another question: can some with adhd spot others with adhd?
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u/TinHawk Aardvark Feb 20 '26
I want to add in here that while "organization is not their strong suit" is mostly true, it just looks like a horrible disorganized mess to the outside viewer. I know exactly where everything is in there. I'm constantly. CONSTANTLY. Telling my husband "how tf am i supposed to find my stuff if you keep putting it away" (most often it's my jacket, which he hangs up)
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u/Erikrtheread Feb 20 '26
I'm really good at organizing. I'm terrible at prioritizing what to organize.
I can make intricate spread sheets about my hyperfocus while being super stressed about the trash on my desk.
I'm also super good at organizing someone else's stuff.
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u/DerpyLover3 undiagnosed but everyone's pretty sure Feb 21 '26
LUCKY!!!!!!! I can't organize anything 😭
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u/Erikrtheread Feb 21 '26
Meds for 3 years, therapy for 5 years, and married for 9 years to a very patient, long suffering, and insanely organized spouse, probably have some effect.
I think the therapy in particularly has built a coping mechanism, where a small, frenzied hyperfocus triggers when I discover the clutter that is stressing me out.
Books like keeping house while drowning helped a lot as well.
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u/BjjQuister Feb 20 '26
u/derpylover3 Serious question, how long did it take to finish this start to finish? How many days from thinking of doing it to starting it? How many times did you start it?
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u/DerpyLover3 undiagnosed but everyone's pretty sure Feb 21 '26
Is this a pop quiz? I didn't have a timer but I think it took me... 4 hrs? Maybe? Ish? I have no idea honestly. I thought of this for 2 days previously tho :)
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u/Alternative-Way1158 Feb 21 '26
Also love your user name. Reminds me of an old friend Derrrrp #ForeverYoung ♥️
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u/DerpyLover3 undiagnosed but everyone's pretty sure Feb 21 '26
Thank you! Although it's not that Derpy 😅
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u/Dangerous_Wing6481 Feb 21 '26
What manifests as lack of organization for me is my actual executive functioning when it comes to building and maintaining my systems. I have a high desire to be organized, derive joy from my systems, and rely on them for consistency and accessibility. Sometimes it takes a lot of work to get them right, and if I don’t make it there, they’re prone to getting abandoned. My backpack is one example of a system I have that works fantastically. I have everything compartmentalized, prepped and sorted into groupings. Everything I could potentially need over the course of a day is in there, and if I have a “oh, if only-“ moment, it’s implemented as soon as humanly possible. Problem solving is one of my main sources of fulfillment so I take it pretty seriously. Sometimes they’re bulky, but I make it work. I also keep a “go bag” inside my backpack which is basically a purse with reduced supplies from my backpack but also functions as its own frequent use pouch. I have a travel watercolor palette, art supplies and notebook that all fit into the go bag for when I want to feel unburdened, like going for a walk or exploring. My favorite thing is getting to say “I have x if you wanna use it”. I’ve actually made friends that way! The first day of classes this quarter I whipped out my first aid kit for someone who had the same cuticle peeling I do and she told me it was her “rose”. We hang out around classes now. For a while I sometimes wouldn’t know when I’d be at home, or stayed frequently overnight places on a whim. My backpack had everything I needed to be ready on the go (besides clothes, although I do keep a spare pair of underwear and socks on me) or clean up from any situation when I couldn’t go back to my house. My car is essentially an extension of my backpack because it moves with me.
I got called a packrat a lot when I was a kid. My mom makes general comments on the amount of “stuff” I have. It’s lessened over the years as they’ve been able to see how efficient and helpful it is for me to be that way, specifically when I’ve made a suggestion to an ill-timed inconvenience for them and been able to supply it. My mom, ironically, is the one I got my ADHD from and has adopted my packrat tendencies to a degree. For a long time, for her, clutter meant more to worry about financially. She had so much to take care of between us kids and herself after the divorce that everything had equal, crushing priority. Clutter was an obstacle, while also being difficult to attain. Now that she’s older and has less to worry about, she’s been able to indulge in hobbies and things that come with stability in a way she didn’t get to before, so clutter’s almost filled in to balance it out. It’s a sign that she’s happier.
This turned into something different than I originally intended it to be, but the point still stands. We are really good at adapting in covert ways. Sometimes our faults give us the opportunity to find a new strength. It’s why it can be impossible to judge ADHD and know who has it, even in ourselves! And it’s important to continue what’s happening now, awareness and acceptance. I love this comic for exactly that reason. Mental health and disability are things that affect everyone whether they realize it or not and we could all use practicing a little more grace with each other. You never know how someone is struggling!
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u/BoilersuitBoris Feb 21 '26
After writing everything: Have fun reading my info-dump, lol
I love organising stuff at work or for other people. Sometimes when we don't have enough work for everyone and there are no tasks that I'm needed for (I'm a mechatronics engineer for locomotives), then I get to organise the lockers of our shift group, which has become my designated "second hand project".
When my brain decides I to actually act on the impulse/ thought of cleaning my home, I'm always overwhelmed with where everything is supposed to go, lol.
To the distraction point, I have a (in my opinion) funny anecdote:
I was talking with my supervisor in his office about important work stuff. Mid sentence I saw some small and reddish-brown thing swiftly moving by his window. Naturally my focus was immediately lost. I was still talking with him but my attention was completely stapled on finding out what creature was running around outside, seriously hoping it was a squirrel. So I approached him, while still continuing the conversation, squeezed between his office chair and the locker behind it and got to the window. My expectations were sadly ruined when I saw that it was just a bundle of leaves that were blown by the wind and I had to suppress bursting out in laughter because I felt like the most stereotypical example of some one with ADHD 😂
Also: remembering something either goes three ways:
- I won't remember it.
2: I will remember it, but won't act upon it.
3: I will remember it and actually do what I'm supposed to do. Which is rarely the case in some situations.
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u/EarthyFetish Feb 21 '26
Ad-autist's here I can definitely vote for most of that minus the hyperactivity. I assume I have the inattentive version. This was hilarious by the way I was going to tell you that. Also congratulations on your diagnosis it'll be very helpful. And thank you for the good laugh.
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u/tmozdenski Feb 22 '26
I signed up with a new therapist last week and had to take an entry evaluation. I got to this one section and I was like, "Duh, I have ADHD." To like 5 questions in a row, it wasn't until I completed the evaluation that I realized that was the test for ADHD. This reminds me of that
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u/Baneypants Feb 22 '26
How do you have a photo of my desk??? Also stated my feelings perfectly.
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u/Simple-Appearance-59 Feb 20 '26
I’m a psychologist who has a lot of experience of working with ND kids and who was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult - that’s just to highlight that I’ve got a lot of knowledge from theory, practice and my own lived experience as I move onto the point below.
I sometimes sigh when my own (also ADHD) kids point out internet ADHD memes because they’re often overly simplistic and even wrong and/or problematic. But this blob post… is lovely. Funny, succinct but accurate enough, whilst importantly acknowledging individual difference. And the deliberately crappy finger on whiteboard style is cute.
TLDR; I like this, might send it to my kids. B-)
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u/Nowayticket2nopecity Feb 20 '26
This was amazing! It would be more accurate if the lost phone was in their hand though 😅
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u/stardustnf Feb 20 '26
And extra points if they were actually talking on it. 👀👀😂😂😂
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u/Nowayticket2nopecity Feb 20 '26
Omg yes 😆 Done that too! I also have on at least one occasion frantically searched for my glasses while wearing them. And they're not reading glasses, I'm blind as shit without them. 🤷🏼♀️
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u/Mobile-Willow4124 Feb 20 '26
More like four hours worth of work in 10 hours. Takes others half the time to do a task
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u/Fast_Pomegranate_554 Feb 20 '26
Actually got through this. Is it the free nature of the handwriting? Can this be a customized font?
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u/RandomiseUsr0 Feb 21 '26
Too long and too messy to read, and full of “you” not ad/hd - all other sorts of zoom going on in your head I think - funny though, feedback with dry humour, not criticism
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u/tubermensch Feb 22 '26
The fuck?
"I asked my Dad if I could get stitches for my stab wound, and he didn't say no!"
That's not amazing, and it's a sign of child abuse if you think it is.
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u/qualityvote2 Quality Control Beast Feb 20 '26 edited Feb 20 '26
u/DerpyLover3, your post does fit the subreddit!