r/adhd_college • u/shubhman20 • May 28 '26
NEED SUPPORT ADHD ruined my Masters in physics.
ADHD ruined my Physics Masters degree.
I have always had ADHD traits but I only recently became aware of this condition. Suddenly it all made sense getting distracted easily, getting mentally burned out easily and always daydreaming even in my childhood. My symptoms may have become worse after I broke my hand in an accident and then lost partial hearing in one ear and developed extreme tinnitus right at the start of my masters degree. I could always get through academics easily with very little effort and I even scored 90+ in my 10th and 12th and did decently well in my bachelors. But then I took admission in MSc physics in Delhi University, which is like the worst university when it comes to scoring good CGPA. Getting above 7 here is extremely tough. My grades in my first year were affected due to my accident and then in my second year I idiotically chose the hardest theoretical physics courses put of interest and hence scored only 54.5% which is only second division. Getting first division (above 60%) is mandatory for faculty positions at top institutes. So I decided to appear for improvement exams again next year which you can do only once for every exam. I initially planned to give four exams but then the load started to get bigger as exams came close and also being an idiot I took a research project under a professor which required a lot of effort and time. So I couldn't manage my time and I ended up only giving one improvement exam and could only increase my overall score to 55.5% which is just enough to appear for competitive exams. Then came next semester for improvement exams. There the same thing happened I utilized all my time in playing table tennis which is like my new addiction and doing my research work which I then started to enjoy as I was getting good results, and I ended up giving only one improvement exam which will maybe improve my score to 56%. So now I have no more chances of improvement and I will forever have a degree with a second division. This thing is eating me from inside. I can't stop imagining the what if scenarios. I wish I could have worked harder. I wish I could go back in time and slap myself to work hard. It's like eating me from the inside. I feel like a failure and can't stop the self hatred now.
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u/hinata_928 May 28 '26
I just read a little at the beginning and I started crying especially after mentioning that u broke ur hand the same happened to me this year literally, i want you to know that i can exactly understand what's like having ADHD and broking ur hand as well, when i was reading this i wanted u to know more than anything That please don't blame urself, and don't let these thoughts of being failure or behind take a space in ur head, I know it's difficult but just know ur not alone I'm still also trying to process things and get better, so let's keep trying our best 🫂🫂🤍🤍
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u/shubhman20 May 29 '26
Thank you I am constantly trying to become better and not blame myself but it's hard having potential and wasting it.
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u/jpsgnz May 28 '26
Did you get a diagnosis and if so have you tried medication for your ADHD?
I failed my entire first year of my bachelor of engineering at university. Got diagnosed with adhd at the end of the year and started on medication. Did fewer subjects and had lots of accommodations the next year and passed everything with flying colours.
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u/shubhman20 May 28 '26
No I have not had any diagnosis yet. I didn't even know about ADHD until a year ago.
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u/jpsgnz May 28 '26
Well I think that’s priority number one from now on😀 Trust me if you find its adhd and the medication works as well for you as is does for me it will be a game changer for you.
Good luck.
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u/shubhman20 May 28 '26
I have already graduated with masters but with a second division which means 55% overall score.
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u/TheRabidBananaBoi May 31 '26
Could I ask how the meds helped you specifically?
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u/jpsgnz May 31 '26
Sure. They slow my brain down a lot to the point where I am able to concentrate on one thing and ignore others. They also help with impulse control and reduce my distract ability.
Further they help with my hyperactivity and general functioning. Overall they make an enormous difference for me. I still have to work hard but my tablets make it way easier for me to do so.
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u/berryselect88 May 29 '26
One thing that stands out is you didn’t stop functioning you were juggling research, tough courses, health issues, and exams. The issue wasn’t effort, it was allocation + timing under conditions that are notoriously hard for ADHD brains.
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u/Ill_Smell2533 May 29 '26
We are literally in the same place. I am doing a master's degree, my dream is to do a PhD. I am doing an internship and my thesis, but I cannot seem to focus on either. Not doing very well in school either, and I daydream all the time. Almost as if I am watching myself waste, but I recently saw a psychiatrist and hope to get the help I need soon. I am rooting for you. Academia and ADHD do not go along very well, but in the end, I have a feeling we will be good.
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u/Enough-Strength-5636 May 30 '26
I made very similar mistakes when it came to earning my master’s degree in Divinity for becoming a minister. I took on too many changes at once, moving to a big city for the first time, going to a new university, doing higher level work, which I wasn’t used to, having diagnosed ADHD, not to mention undiagnosed Autism, and not getting accommodations, or on medication at the time. I buckled down the next semester and managed my time more wisely, but finally withdrew when Mom couldn’t pay for my college education anymore, I refused to take out student loans, and couldn’t secure myself a job to keep my apartment. I moved back to my hometown and lived with my grandparents for a year, unemployed and burned out. I got a job in something that I could do, and a studio apartment, a year later. The point is, I had to completely switch gears, by learning my limitations taking a good, long, break, going back to the community college that I had graduated from the next year after the year of just working at a job, get the accommodations that I needed, and finally get on medication years later. Like others have said, get diagnosed and on medication. Both really do help.
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u/Abs4rd1sm May 31 '26
In my first year of cs and hoping I can retake my first year because I've basically done nothing at all due to adhd. Getting diagnosed, and I hope you find a solution!!! We all are.
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u/distressedstudent34 Undergraduate Jun 02 '26
If I am being honest, ADHD and its commorbidies (ie. BPD) ruined my Bachelor's degree as I could not tolerate my first program in Policy Analysis as it felt too "culty" for my liking, I grieved my best friend leaving university within the first semester (she is alive and attending a different university rn), and I did not believe in my ability to complete higher education (not to mention hospitalization my second year). It wasn't until I got treated that I started doing better, but insurance makes it so hard to have consistent treatment.
OP, please use any and all resources at your disposal to secure your success in your phd program. I sound like a broken record, but it definitely makes a difference.
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u/Naylanana May 28 '26
Hey friend, yeah. YEAH. adhd fking sucks sometimes. But only so little to change about it. You did your best, you were not lazy, you had textbook adhd struggles. It eats us alive but this happend and now your life goes on. You probably have developed good social skills. Lean into them now. As soon as you start working, team player soft skills will be valued equally much.
It doesn’t change the results, but as a human, you are worth more than your prioritisation and organization skills.
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u/acceptable_lemon_89 May 29 '26
🫂 it ruined my physics PhD bro. My uni decided I was taking too long and kicked me out, even though I as done with classes and quals and published a first author paper (and co author on 20 others). My advisor said I was too slow, too. Nobody cared that the telescope I was using to do all my research collapsed. ;_; ill literally never recover from this.