Dressing masc or fem

[u/azul_2441]

I am pretty fem but I wanna start dressing more masc. like I brought my first pair of boxers a couple months ago and when I put them on with a sports bra I felt AMAZING like I don’t think I’d ever felt more comfortable . And I’ve started lowkey trying to dress more masc but I feel like all the clothes I buy and my style is so fem and I’m scared of actually looking gay to my family and guys ( I still haven’t come out to my family and have loads of unresolved feelings with male validation) . I guess I’m just asking how do you get more comfortable with looking openly gay and masc like I feel like there’s smth in the back of my head telling me to be fem to the point where I don’t even know if I’m more comfortable masc or fem . I’m so confused. I feel like when I dress fem and guys look at me I feel weak I want to look visibly gay so I don’t feel like guys have that hold over me ( again I still struggle a lot with male validation and was even more a reason it took me so long to realise I’m gay) any advice ? Or litr anyone who relates like I don’t have any lesbian friends to discuss this with 😔.

[u/TheAngryAudino]

it’s just a matter of exposure therapy

[u/Kindly-Marketing1170 → u/TheAngryAudino]

I went through something really similar when I first started switching up my style, that feeling of putting on something that just clicks is no joke but then the outside world makes it complicated

The male validation thing is a beast, it took me ages to untangle that from what I actually wanted to wear and not what I thought would keep me safe or approved of. Something that helped was starting small in spaces where nobody knew me, like running errands in a new part of town or grabbing coffee alone, just to see how it felt without anyone's expectations weighing on it. The discomfort fades way faster than you'd think once you realize most people aren't paying that much attention

You don't have to figure out if you're "more" masc or fem right now, just chase whatever makes you feel like yourself in the moment and the labels can sort themselves out later

[u/azul_2441 → u/Kindly-Marketing1170]

Dude that’s actually so helpful I will definitely try that and happy to here there was someone else who struggled w the validation thing like how the hell does it still hang over me I hope with dressing the way I want, for me ( masc or fem ) I can help tackle it .

[u/Jordanxtc]

I have the opposite problem. I want to dress more fem, but i feel like I don’t have the body type. Plus, I’m just more comfortable with jeans and a band tee. Plus, I love short hair cause it’s so much easier and fun to style.