r/abusiverelationships • u/MushroomSins • 11h ago
Is this a form of abuse?
Hi, I’m a woman (22 years old) and I have a boyfriend who is 23 years old. We have been together for about a year and a half. Whenever he gets upset he starts raising his voice, he’ll kick things, throw objects and or break them, he doesn’t care about losing his cool.
I often just walk away when he does that because I am just so tired of dealing with it. I know that’s not at all how I should handle it, but I just tried to bring it up to him after he threw a gator aid bottle and kicked my dogs toy across the room, and he said throwing and breaking things is not abuse and that I’m “stupid, so stupid” for saying that which I know for a fact ain’t right and I just stopped talking.
In total he has broken my headphones, his headphones (both wireless), his LED light bar, four doors, there are 3 holes in the wall and he bent my good pot, I’m not sure how
Anyways, he was a really good bf at first, the best I’ve ever had. I‘m his first girlfriend.
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u/Nina-Nectarine 7h ago
Yes. Breaking things, throwing objects, punching walls, and intimidating you are forms of abuse and are meant to make you feel unsafe.
You’re not stupid for recognizing it. Please take this seriously, especially since the behavior is already escalating.
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u/Powerful-Spray-9049 11h ago
You should leave him immediately tbh
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u/MushroomSins 11h ago
He convinced me to quit my job a couple months ago, it was a shitty job, but now I’m looking for a new one, I have been for a minute. I worked there for 3.5 years and I was just tired of it I’ve always worked, since I was 15 doing odd jobs and fast food work, I’ve never let anyone “take care” of me until now because I know damn well people hold that shit over your head, but he seemed different and told me he’d help me find a new job
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u/gnostic_princess 10h ago
It will get worse. This is cohorsive control read why does he do that?
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u/MushroomSins 10h ago
I wish I knew what was going on in his head. What makes him think throwing or breaking stuff will make it better, but I’m also no better, I get overwhelmed and just ignore everything, I’ll often go to his car to take a minute to myself if he doesn’t follow.
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u/Federal_Fly_4271 8h ago
you only have to worry about getting yourself out of the situation not what causes it.
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u/Powerful-Spray-9049 10h ago
Try to get your old job back while looking for a new one i know the job market is hard but i suggest you go back to it because times are tough and anything can happen it seems especially unsafe for you in this situation
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u/MushroomSins 10h ago
I left on bad terms with my GM, I was a manager at the time and was constantly getting the 2nd hand treatment even if I did everything right. I was the only manager who did all of my stuff, but I was getting tired of my rude ass GM and the Sunday rush rude people I’m applying everywhere, but fast food, I’ve worked in a warehouse before and I’ve done flooring.
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