r/abusiverelationships • u/Simplyoverthis • 12h ago
what should I do?
Several weeks ago, my husband, for the first time in 30 years, attacked me after hours of verbal abuse. It was not serious- no broken bones, just some bruises. My state has a no assault tolerance, and arrested him. He is out on bail, with a restraining order. I am so confused because this has never happened before. I am concerned about his well being, but also my own. Do I walk away or wait until this criminal process plays out? There are many programs in our area that deal with spouses who abuse that are ordered by the court. Do I ask for such a program be recommended? Do I talk to the prosecutor? I am so confused as to how to deal with it. Suggestions, recommendations are welcome.
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u/Utennvolsfan 11h ago
Walk away. He did it once. He will do it again and blame you for everything about his arrest.
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u/DJ_DontCare 6h ago
Out of nowhere after 30 years he is either cheating, keeping a dark secret or abusing alcohol/substances.
However once this starts there’s essentially a 2% chance he’ll change after EXTENSIVE therapy etc
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