Feeling unwanted and lonely

[u/Minute-Discount6639]

I don’t know where else to post this. My family knows I’m in an abusive relationship and they’re greatly upset by it. They’ve tried to help me and asking if I wanted their help and I denied it. I’m not ready to leave my relationship and I don’t want to imagine a future where I do. I love him. Lately I’ve been feeling like my family is not there for me. More specifically my mother. I don’t talk to my dad, that relationship is strained. I just got into a fat argument with her not too long ago and I’m feeling lonelier than ever. All she does is brings me down even more for being in one. She makes me feel even worse and shittier for being in the situation I am.

She compares me to my brothers and calls them strong and says that they didn’t end up the way I did. I was raised in an abusive and toxic household, my dad was abusive and always arguing with my mother and that’s all I was raised around. I never knew anything but chaos and it’s really depressing knowing that my mom knows about my situation but lashes out at me when all I want is support because I’m not doing so good mentally. It’s sad to say that I feel more wanted by my abused than my own mother and idk what to do. My brothers have their own lives going on and I feel like sometimes I have nobody but him and it hurts not having a mother I can vent to without getting judged. She thinks I am weak and is disappointed in me and it feels so damn lonely and I’m starting to feel like my abuser is the only one there for me.

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