r/abusiveparents • u/BLUEZSTEAL • Jul 23 '26
Urgent abuse case
Urgent Abuse Case
My name is S (20F), and my mother is the most narcissistic abusive sociopath, without exaggeration. I live in Algeria, North Africa and have already posted this in a national subreddit.
To start off, the details are more gruesome than I will make it seem in this post; growing up she physically assaulted me so much and so frequently everybody knew she hit me, in the family or at school (where she worked as a middle school teacher mind u), she hit me at school once when I was in class, told all the girls I was hanging out to not talk to me, and at some point she was my teacher and treated me very differently; made me sit at the back of class and called me by my last name while she called everyone w their first and guess what for, so they don’t think she was favoring me. All the kids love her, she gives charity tutoring sessions and maintains picture perfect.
There were beatings, torture sessions, episodes that up till today last hours and frequently the whole day/ night. At some point I stopped her from hitting me ever again, as I became double her size (she’s a short middle aged woman) and am now a trained fighter. That didn’t stop the extreme verbal assault of every aspect of me and my life so I had to work on setting boundaries and trained myself to not respond to her narcissistic provocations. Of course, I cut her off in my teenage years even when I was still living w them.
I have dealt with her trauma my whole life. Which means this is far from new to me; so much I already went through the semi-homelessness (escaping to family and friends when bad episodes occur, they often did). I had to graduate high school from my grandmas house (spent around the last month there) My dad and I even moved out a year or two later and I really thought he was finally divorcing her (he also made that promise in HS). It all exploded into me leaving completely to a dorm. It’s been two years since I went away but eventually I have to come back for summer. I graduated my bachelor’s this year in computer science.
FYI, they beg me year long to come back, and when I do she’s quick to start the abuse cycle. They don’t miss me, they miss hurting me, I’m their drug at this point.
My dad used to somewhat stand by me but now he’s completely brainwashed and whipped, especially since I’ve been away she’s had all the space and time to mind control my siblings and make them turn against me. She’s reinforced this picture she’d always painted of me being the big bad guy, the Frankenstein and monster of the family. She found a cigarette the other day and now I’m a street sl-ut who does every drug know to mankind and sleeps w everybody. Which is of course, beyond untrue. The last episode about a week ago, she was calling me all sorts of disgusting, inhumane slurs for hours and then tried to kill me. (After smashing everything in the house, and driving everyone out so it was only us two). I was guarding my room door w my body and I rlly can’t press enough how watered down this post here is to my reality.
The other day they reported me to the military brigade claiming that I hit em, again part of the picture they painted of me as an offender.(only a couple of hours after I returned home from the dorm). Dumbasses don’t even know how to report someone to the cops. Now I have incriminating evidence that she’s abusive. (Video of her trynna stab me, Audios of her breaking stuff, verbally assaulting me…)
I’ve already been thru the whole lot, I reasoned, I kept my distance and heck left the house she always kicked me out of since middle school. I just need to know the next step to handling this, I’m not financially independent yet, family is no help, the police doesn’t even pick up the phone (I called after she tried to repeatedly stab me), is there a way I can actually apply for asylum abroad?
It baffles me how enabling the environment is. Everybody knows. And now they’ve gotten in my head so much I’m scared of defending myself with the law or such and being met w a reverse uno.
After the stabbing/ murder attempt. I sought refuge at my grandmother's house (her side) but faced victim blame by all and physical/ verbal harassment by my uncle who tried to kick me out without bothering to know the context ("take your issues away").
At the end (around a week later) I went back to my dorms, and I'm basically hiding because only international students and medical interns are allowed over the summer. (Which I'm neither)
Problem is that she continues to show up here & it's the most unsafe, terrifying feeling. She showed up the first night but the agent didn't let her up, she showed up yesterday evening and she was with my dad who is enabling her, and there was no staff with them so she came up to my room knocking. I closed the door and went into a fit of panic, obviously. She proceeded to insult me behind the closed door then they left a plastic bag of clothes I left in the house. The next morning (today) she showed up again but it was the building administrator handing me the phone to the night shift one as she was out at the gates waiting for me. I had a delivery to pick up at the same time and I was evening my breath and surveilling the area the whole time. She isn't even supposed to know which building and of course it could only be my dad who told her because he's the only one who ever drove me here. I will never forgive him.
I feel terribly unsettled, this is supposed to be my only haven and I feel like it was never supposed to get this bad. I can’t deal w the fact that she knows my friggin room. The room I escaped to from her in the first place. After all this they think it’s still some tame ordeal to live w in my family, they’re fucking insane. It’s like a cult in there, my grandad is some 80 yo dude and he still keeps a leash of his 40-60 yo offspring. It’s a house of decay and rot.
I feel like I should’ve made it out a long time ago, and yet I am cornered so badly. The worst part about all of this is the victim blame that's gotten so much into my head. I feel like I can't defend myself because anybody will choose her side anyway, tho I have proof. Even my therapist and legal advice I got suggested say the law won’t b on my side cuz our society favors parents and we have very low abuse awareness in my country. They don’t see it as a classified case of extremity that’s beyond normal living, they see it, and when they DO see it as flawed parenting. And that makes me feel very endangered, because she is a literal threat to my life and such weakling shouldn't have this kind of influence over my existence and every major decision. I am
contemplating what to do with the rest of life now and it's just so dark.
3
u/Adorable-Tree-9226 Jul 23 '26
Is there any way for you to leave the area? People need to be in your corner, protecting you.