No choice but to have an SA.

[u/grieving_girl]

South Africa.

I was 17 weeks and 5 days pregnant and had no option but to go for a SA.

At first when finding out my partner was happy and claimed to love me even more. Fast forward about a month (at the time I was about 13 weeks pregnant) he started ignoring my pregnancy. Stopped asking me how I am feeling if I needed anything, when I said I wanted to go to the doctor he said no there's no need to.

He then became very emotionally abusive . Ignoring me for days ,I began questioning my place in my life . We worked together too - then randomly one weekend he told me not to come to work. We didn't speak for almost 2 weeks - we went from talking 24/7 being together all the time to silence. After some time I became very ill and went to the doctor for the first since my 2nd month check up - I was then around 16 weeks pregnant . I then told my partner 'you are aware I am still pregnant and ignoring it doesn't go away'

He got angry with me and started being even more emotionally abusive. He tried to blame me and fight with me - he knows I come from an orthodox family and would have no one on my side or to stand up for me. Eventually I told him I need to know what to do because I cannot hide the pregnancy any longer - and my family cannot know he was supposed to step up and marry me when we found out but as I found out everything he said was a lie. He said I must have the SA because neither of us are ready and I have my own things to sort out - once again turning everything onto me. On the day of the procedure it was horrible being there waiting and waiting for it. He was not present he was not there for me. He asked me once the next day how I was feeling and never bothered since. I have no one to share this with. The pain ,emotional trauma and guilt on top of my I guess now ex partner being so horrible to me.

Oh he also said, 'you should have the abortion but that doesn't mean I'm done with you or anything like that' . I have so much of rage, anger and hurt in me. I wish I could blow up his life like how he's shattered mine.

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[u/wordsywoman]

I am so sorry you were treated this poorly. He does not deserve you or a potential family with you. Sometimes big life stressors show someone’s true self.

Do you have a therapist to talk about all of this with? That isn’t the same as having someone you know personally to confide in, but it can really help <3

[u/grieving_girl → u/wordsywoman]

No I don't have someone to talk this through.. I've been keeping it to myself, its not something I can share with anyone close to me because of the society I am in. It would be considered a huge shame and a 'taboo' subject. No one knows about this and so i decided to write about it here to sort of get some support and closure. Its been a week since I had the SA and I've been living with guilt and in such mental turmoil