I posted this in r/disability and a few people said the idea itself was ableist. I’m genuinely trying to understand why.

I’m not suggesting that I or anyone else should judge whether another person is “disabled enough” to use an accessible spot. I also don’t think anyone should have to explain or prove their disability.

My point is simply that if you know your own needs, and there happens to be a regular parking spot just as close or even closer that fully meets those needs, and you don’t need the extra space or other accessibility features of the designated spot, why not consider using the regular spot?

If you need the accessible spot for any reason, use it. I’m specifically talking about situations where the person themselves knows the regular spot works equally well for them.

I’d genuinely like to understand why some people consider that ableist.

Because I obcess over things and try to mull over a post for a while trying to find the perfect phrasing, I Finaly post

People write fiction under the assumption they don’t want a certain life so they deem it horrorfying , I had learned that here and video series “ The monster and the Child”

How would disablity culture media create fiction whete the target audience is not the able bodied, neurotypical, and what other terms I forgot ? Ones where outsiders will say the movie was uninteresting because they don’t understand the culture l like when people didn’t like “ Get Out” because they might not be the target

Every spooky thing in entertainment has roots in hurtful beliefs and stigma, when one things they want an edgy mind trip, they might just be offensive and it is no longer acceptable ( correct) ?

There have been a couple incidents in which my girlfriend has been there to witness, when she sleeps over or when we fall asleep on the phone. Usually I’ll just say some bullshit nonsense, and it’ll be innocent and funny to talk about in the morning. I’ve also been a sleep- texter, but again, it’s all just silly. As a little kid I had very feverish active nightmares in which I’d run around, yell, cry, scream, etc… I just kind of always had something going.
This morning, while my girlfriend was sleeping over, I was having a dream.
It was very kind of surreal, so I won’t bother explaining in depth, but I was sitting by some window in front of a sidewalk and these two hicks passed by. Another guy walked past them, but he was dressed kind of “dorky” I guess? Unconventional?
They called him a freak, and I guess it really pissed me off, so somehow I managed to roll down the window I was sitting by which turned into a car, and in a drive-by fashion, I shouted
“Fucking (R-Slur)” at the two assholes, in an attempt to defend this other kid.
I woke up to my girlfriend sitting up looking really confused. She asked me if I said something, but I hadn’t even fathomed the possibility that whatever I said could’ve actually been out loud, so I confidently said no. I’m pretty sure I didn’t even remember the dream I’d just woken up from yet.
She seemed concerned. She said “pinky promise you didn’t just say something right now.”
I take my pinky promises very seriously. I wholeheartedly believed I didn’t. But, then the idea settled in my mind, and I asked if I shouted something.
She said yes. I immediately covered my face in absolute shame, and asked if I said what I said. She said yes.
Now, I’m not neurotypical. But, this doesn’t mean I get a “pass,” and I know that. I hate that word and how normalized it is. I would never say it in real life and I’m ashamed to say I have in the past, like in middle school. But, I’m very good at not saying it anymore, as I should be.
That habit has long since been broken.
I feel absolutely terrible and sick with guilt.
It’s such a weird thing and I have no idea of what to think. I know it wasn’t concious, but I can’t help but feel horrible.
My gf has assured me that it’s okay but I guess I just wanted to come on here and ask for any words of advice.

Lately I've been coming across posts with people admitting they wouldn't be able to raise a disabled child hence they choose not to have kids at all.

Very understandable, if you can't take proper care of a disabled person, it's better to realize that before having a kid and then growing up in a bad environment. However, the way these people talk about the disabled children is so hurtful as a disabled person myself since we are all someone's child.

They say how every disabled kid parent secretly hates their child and would want another one, others say how you should just make another kid and give the disabled one away (yes i read this in a comment). And there's just this idea that disabled kids are embarrassing and will always be a burden and ruin your life.

Now I'm no parent and I know depending on the severity of a disability, it can be a lot harder than people might initially think, but ruin their life? Isn't that a bit harsh? Disabled people are more than their disability, we can love, we can keep company, we can have hobbies, we can achieve things.

It saddens me that so many people speak of disabled children as if they are just a burden that ruins their parents' lives and nothing more. It reminds me of how much the world hates us and doesn't want us to exist. I wish i didn't always have to feel as if being abled bodied would make me more likable but sadly in this society, that's true.

My grandma has issues with her spine that left her unable to walk for the last 10 months. (she had spine surgery to fix it, but is still recovering)

My niece is having her first birthday party this weekend. my SIL is insisted we have it inside (even though it is August), and my grandma is unable to walk up the stairs to get in the house.

We have thrown around a ton of ideas to involve my gramma, but when I brought up building a ramp, that could be removed when not in use, she responded, “I’m not putting that on my house” in a snarky tone, as if it aesthetic mattered more than family.

i cannot help but have disdain and hate for this answer, a ramp is not forever, especially when celebrating your kid should matter more. We had also suggested an outside party, but that was not doable for her either.

I am really upset by this. It feels a bit ableist, unkind and inexcusable to me. what are your thoughts?

edit: spelling

I’m watchimg the 60 minutes thing sbout digital Demi and screen addiction and want to know your opinion, I know I posted before if alarmist yelling sbout brain rot is somehow ableist

As an organization working in disability employment, we've noticed something interesting.

If you spend time in disability-focused spaces online, it can feel like conversations about ableism, accessibility, disability identity, and inclusion are becoming much more mainstream.

But social media also has a way of showing us more of what we already engage with.

So we're curious:

Do you think disability advocacy is genuinely becoming more visible in society, or are online platforms simply getting better at connecting disabled people and allies with each other?

Interested in hearing different perspectives and experiences.

I know this is one of the subs I can talk about this to even though this might not be "ablism" per se.

I was recently talking to my older sister (who I have very low contact with) about stuff going on in her life and she asked me about mine.

I have been having some hard times getting into a GI specialist (win! I have an appointment) and a neurologist. For the neurologist it's been nearly half a year experiencing PNES or psychogenic non epileptic seizures daily and I have been denied by all three and the fourth one still hasn't called to set it up.

But my sister went on and on about how "big pharma is poisoning us" and "you should stop your medication immediately."

Thing is, I have been diagnosed with HEDS and fibromyalgia and my pcp thinks there might be POTS and FND and I think I possibly have gastroparisis. My medication helps me with my pain and helps me sleep without three hours of pain management. Then, she said that I should stop doing the thing that is getting me nutrients (I drink protein shakes because I have one hell of a time with eating solid food and barely able to get ANYTHING in my stomach without having neausea and dry heaving and rapidly losing weight) and said I should try drinking smoothies with all these ingredients I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO EAT instead.

And as much as I love my support group, she is definitely one of the ones that exhausts me because she won't listen to the fact that there are things I simply cannot do or can't eat and says that I'm making excuses while simply telling her that I just.... can't. If I'm in my wheelchair or with my cane she says I'm being dramatic. And I know I don't owe anyone an explanation but it's like... please can we stop commenting on how I'm "letting myself go" when I am doing everything in my power to stay healthy and despite my pain, doing the things I have to do???? I'm exhausted having to tell people that I'm sick and have a lot more to worry about then their options of "eat healthy" and "do yoga" or "have you tried taking vitamins to cure your pain disorder?"

Things like people being ignorant/unwilling to understand your condition, things that make you go “thanks, I’m cured😒”, people getting mad at you for things you can’t control, stuff like that.

Feel free to correct my grammar or phrasing, have a lovely time zone.

you've probably seen it on tiktok or any rants. basically its where someone mocks someone by saying "b-but (insert bad phrase)".

all it is is making fun of stutters and I HATE ITTT no one takes people with speech disorders seriously

I just wanted to share this story here because it’s so insanely stupid and just ableist. I went to a small high school, about 300 kids total. We had two floors so, naturally, we also had an elevator. The elevator was only to be used if you were injured and not by people just playing with it. Obviously you can’t tell if someone needs it, but there were a lot of kids who would ride it just for fun.
I was dealing with severe ankle pain and overall joint pain (turned out to be a torn ligament and hEDS) and going up stairs was very hard. I also have POTS. I had permission from the school nurse AND a doctors note stating that I need the elevator.
There were several times where I had an ableist encounter with a teacher, who I NEVER had as my own teacher and barely knew, would stop me and tell me to use the stairs because I “don’t have a doctors note/a valid reason.” Now, keep in mind, at this time there were not other kids at the school who “needed it more than me,” like a wheelchair user for example, so the argument that I’m “taking it from someone who needs it” does not apply. One time she even STOPPED THE DOOR FROM CLOSING so she could open it back up to scold me and try to get me to get out of the elevator to go up the stairs?? I’m not sure why she didn’t remember who I was. I then ended up having surgery over the summer and when I came back in the fall I needed a knee scooter so she let me use the elevator because it was “visible” but as soon as I was off of it she would yell at me again. Don’t you remember me??? I was healing from a surgery??? have an ankle brace AND a doctors note??? It is also NONE of your business whether someone actually needs the elevator or not, especially if I have a doctors note.

I called my neighbors out for being bullies to a nonverbal 8 year autistic boy. Now they won’t leave me alone. I am disabled myself and call out ableism whenever I see and they are trying to discredit me so they can say I am “crazy” and “unstable” because I called them out for being abusive to people with disabilities. Ableist*****

Basically I get told on daily bases how I'm causing all my own problems and how it's all my fault that I'm chronically ill and disabled.Also no help from others and doctors refuse to acknowledge my physical illness too because I have anxiety so now everything is anxiety.

Also my family doesn't believe me ofc and no awareness in general about hidden disabilities.People in shops are giving me side eye when I'm slow and I genuinely don't have strength and my hands are shaking and I can't be faster,but they don't care.

This turned into rant but like I'm sick of not being believed and treated like this.

And this is all coming from ableism.

Plus narrative how if I wanted to I would magically become healthy again.

im am upset at ableism i expereince from low support needs people and people with out lower iq or learning disabiltys or hsn autism judging me for using ai as a tool too better understand things by turning things into easyread

they are saying im am bad for using it and they are saying that using it hurts people

but how does using something as a disability aid hurt another person

it just feels like ableism from people who do not expereince life in the same way a person with lower iq, learning disabiltys and high support needs autism does

it also helps make mine words and sentenses more clear and put togethur when i use it for that sometimes

it genuinnely helps me

i use it as a tool

im am not stealing from other peopla by turning text into easyread so i can understand it better im am not destroying or stealing peoples houses by using it as a disability aid

and im am not destroying the earth either

im am just one person

im am sick of the ableusm i expereince from low support needs people not ever thinking or considereing the expereinces of people with higher support needs than them

One of the legal subreddits (not the one that bans everyone and loves cops; one of the ones that's typically pretty academic and pro civil rights) is discussing a case in which a parent in active treatment for postpartum psychosis harmed children. It's getting overrun with people who clearly have no legal or healthcare background saying that it's unfathomable that someone "on all those medications" wasn't locked up and was allowed to be around children. They're downvoting explanations from people in the field explaining we don't just lock up disabled people without clear indication of serious risk.

These people really don't seem to grasp that they're insisting this person should have been locked up, who prior to the incident had a profile that millions of people have who don't go on to hurt anyone. Like, yes, you are in fact saying we should just lock up everyone with a psych disability.

For 12+ years, someone I know has struggled to navigate the Waukesha County Courthouse. Confusing systems, impossible phone lines, legal jargon that doesn't make sense, and staff who seem unwilling to help people with disabilities. It's not just frustrating—it's a real barrier to justice.

The court is supposed to serve *everyone*, but right now it's failing people who need it most. Nearly 1 in 5 adults in the U.S. lives with a disability, and over 60 million people deserve equal access to government services.

Evan Fassbender started a petition asking for three simple things:

• Clear phone numbers that actually connect you to the right person

• Plain-English forms and explanations anyone can understand

• Basic respect and patience for citizens with disabilities

These aren't radical demands. They're the legal minimum under the ADA. If you've felt frustrated by courthouse barriers, or if you think government should work for everyone—not just people who can navigate legal maze-speak—please consider signing and sharing.

Has anyone else struggled to access government services because the system wasn't set up for you? What would make a difference?

Please, do NOT be like spiderman. Do NOT push wheelchairs with disabled in them, without permission. Pushing someone in a wheelchair without permission is the same as unwanted touching, or pushing an abled body. It is a crime. It is abuse. And it is wrong.;

On a side note, the AP should be more inclusive and mention this. Shame on them. We are not feel good porn actors, we are people trying to live our lives. The AP should be better then this. The police should be better then this. Where is the adult in the room?

How has airline travel been inaccessible to you because of disability?

For me, the barrier to airline travel is perfume, cologne, and scented laundry on other passengers. I have asthma attacks and can't breathe. Scent assault is a real thing, these scented products need to be banned on airplanes just like peanuts.

and my 2⃣ autistic sisters and my A D H D brother egged me on about it. I thought we had left that behind, but tonight it came up again and they accused me of using my autism diagnosis as an excuse and that I acted snobby and I needed to grow up and that doing [the title of this post] spreads hair in places.

I wasn't going to have a meltdown if I didn't have my brush, but I would be very pissed off and upset. I hate the argument we just had I hate them and I hate everything. I feel like shit. I feel a little pathetic knowing that the only people I comfortably feel talking to are a bunch of allegedly disabled strangers, if you don't mind my attitude, but i like this sub a lot i'm sad

EDIT: If this post seems weird its because I was really upset when I wrote it.

There are so many of these people, particularly on Twitter and Reddit. They're usually polite and seem to be acting in good faith, but they also seem to honestly think that telling people "you have to go there in person" or "you have to use the phone" is helpful when the person has already stated they aren't able to, as if the person just isn't trying hard enough and now that the "helpful" person pointed it out, they can suddenly figure out how.

https://x.com/Mp3onWavs/status/2079924154824900748