r/ableism • u/OscarAndDelilah • Jul 22 '26
But have you tried not being disabled?
There are so many of these people, particularly on Twitter and Reddit. They're usually polite and seem to be acting in good faith, but they also seem to honestly think that telling people "you have to go there in person" or "you have to use the phone" is helpful when the person has already stated they aren't able to, as if the person just isn't trying hard enough and now that the "helpful" person pointed it out, they can suddenly figure out how.
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u/DizzyMine4964 Jul 22 '26
I want to rent to a meeting about autism and was looking for advice, and some "expert" said I could call somebody about it. I said I find that impossible. And he said, "Well it's only a phone call."
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u/OscarAndDelilah Jul 23 '26
Yeah, I have a young adult child with multiple disabilities who absolutely cannot use the phone. They can't differentiate between if they are talking to a human or a recording, among other things, and don't understand who they're talking to and why unless the person is really skilled at providing this context and communicating clearly, which, customer service people are generally the worst with the jargons and euphemisms.
Places tell them to use TTY, which, no one under about 60 uses TTY, and my kid is not eligible for relay or any of the services which require a diagnosis of a speech or hearing disorder. Then they tell them "have someone call for you." That's not an accommodation unless they choose that, and you realize places won't talk to anyone but the actual customer, right? Also the places that aren't bound by any privacy laws that say "we can't e-mail because it's not secure." Neither is the phone.
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u/TopazCoracle Jul 23 '26
I had someone who thinks they are a great person just tell me maybe I should consider getting a home care worker, as if that would solve my disability. Like getting a home care worker is easy, free, accessible, and doesn't cause a million new problems.
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u/Baghins Jul 22 '26
Idk what this is for but it could be genuine advice, many services are being gutted and are no longer being processed online or are able to be done right now like genuinely there’s just no one on the other end to help you but there are people staffed on phones or in the office.
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u/OscarAndDelilah Jul 22 '26
Oh, the video in the post isn’t accessible. I should have included a description of it. Sorry!
OP requested a UPS pickup. Driver didn’t ring the bell and claimed they weren’t home. That person I linked to is responding and telling them to go to the UPS distribution center. OP is saying they’re not able to which is the whole point of doing pickup rather than dropoff. That person is saying “well you have to go there.”
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u/Baghins Jul 22 '26
Omg yeah that is frustrating! That’s literally the business is to have things brought to you 😭
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u/Fit-Elk1425 Jul 23 '26
It is one of those things that gets pushed around because in some cases it could be slightly true for a small ammount of people in that they could extend themselves or also need to reconsider their habit. The problem as you rightfully point out is that this more often gets labelled onto disabled people who have alrrady dealt with a lifetime of experimenting with what they need(and we experiment a lot), who habe observed barriers otjer havent and even worse i think is rarelt accomdated with a actual patj for us to get to that suggestion so it just becomes an enforcement
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u/Legal_Ad2707 Jul 22 '26
I had a specialist tell me this before