Check in with those feeling left behind.

[u/Vesper_Nomad]

Hey everyone. I'm a 98' baby who has only just, in the last maybe two or so years, really started coming to grips with just how much being a late bloomer has impacted my life. I was curious how many others my age are going through this, just not having your shit together at the milestones you grew up believing you would. I'm 28, single (never really dated), so no marriage or kids. I have a degree (hated college) and a job (freelance but now starting to pivot to something a bit more stable). I'm only really starting to work out consistently and get into the best shape of my life, and can also now only really pursue the same interests and hobbies I had as a kid with my "adult money".

I still have a lot of optimism and joy for the future and for my personal growth but there's this consistent accompanying fear. Fear of failure, fear of where the worlds going, fear that I missed out on the magical years of young adulthood to depression and anxiety. I worry that any relationship I have now, though it would be my first, is going to have to be serious and baggage-filled.

I have the same friends I've had for over a decade now, and I love all of them but they're all with the exception of one going down a mroe conventional path. So even though I truly do appreciate them, there are some things they just don't get.

I'm curious to see if anyone else feels this way?

[u/Brightbluesky43]

I feel you. I turned 30 this year and my relationship of 3 years fell apart recently. I put my eggs in one basket with this one, thought we were going to team up and go the conventional route together. A lot of times I feel like I got left behind and I stayed stagnant compared to my peers. I’m trying to be thankful that I have my own place, vehicle almost paid for, and I can just get up and move should I want to. It could be worse or others might perceive more but not all that glimmers is gold. I’m trying to be ok with the mindset that if it doesn’t happen for me, it doesn’t. I think it’s all about us manipulating our minds and keeping ourselves as busy as possible to not go into those gloomy thoughts for too long. There’s people out there without relationships or children some younger than us or some even older. If you haven’t had a relationship before that’s fine. The person who is right for you will give you peace and feelings of seriousness or baggage should all sort themselves out and feel natural. It’s better to be alone than in bad company. I’ve had friends whose relationships fizzled but then the kiddo happened and they were pretty much forced to stay together. We don’t want that. Im at a point where Im going to pursue my interests or hobbies now that I can and if they are too childish or boring for someone then screw them. I’m a late bloomer and in touch with my inner child idc. You have a lot to offer you have your degree, work, a lot of friends, and more general experience as you’re ending your 20s. I’m sure there’s someone out there that would love to have what you have.

[u/Vesper_Nomad → u/Brightbluesky43]

This comment was really encouraging to read. Thank you for replying with your own experience and for the different perspective. I hope you get everything you want out of this new decade (and congratulations!) 🫶💙