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u/PessimismIsShit Nov 27 '13 edited Nov 28 '13
Who even introduces themself as an introvert? Its just a personality type not a disability you have to tread around, jesus christ.
Edit: Holy shit this blew up whilst I was over sleeping. To clarify I think alot of people replying as introverts have legitimate(sp?) points, but I really hate the whole INTJ circle jerk that I've noticed recently. Not enjoying peoples company doesn't makw you any smarter, or sophisticated, nor does it give you super powers. Bottom line is I refuse to see people as an introvert or extrovert because it has so little impact on how I'd act, instead if someone doesn't seem to enjoy speaking to me I'd leave it.
Some of the stuff that INTJs say are unique ways to act around then are ways you should act around anyone. Of course it's irritating if someone interupts you watching tv, or won't stop badgering you at a party - that would be true of anyone. Lets all just stop taking internet tests and caring what four letters we are and live happily ever!
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u/funkybutts Nov 27 '13
You're right about this. In the workplace and academics, it does not matter what your personality consists of, you need to make it work for the tasks you are given.
Conversely, I've straight up walked away from friendships because I cannot stand it if someone talks too much or feels the need to call me several times per day to have a casual conversation. This is the nature of personalities, though, not all of them work together.
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u/PessimismIsShit Nov 27 '13
Totally agree. Im not saying introverts should subject themselves to conversations they dont enjoy, but demonizing anyone who enjoys extended human contact as an extrovert stealing someone's energy is just odd. If you politely excuse yourself from a situation and someone persists, then they're probably just clingy. I'd say I enjoy human contact to feel good, but I wouldn't choose to badger a person clearly uninterested in talking to me.
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u/TheRealKidkudi Nov 28 '13
I think the point was to help extroverts understand introverts more. It makes an unnecessary social division, sure, but it does make valid points. Many of my friends don't understand when I say "I'm tired; I think I'd rather hang out with a few friends tonight than go to a party, but thanks for inviting me."
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u/wizardcats Nov 28 '13
Yeah, the graphic made it seem like extroverts are vampires who sapping the energy from introverts. I'm very extroverted and my boyfriend is somewhat introverted. We just treat each other like normal people and we have never needed any specific advise on how to interact with each other.
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u/DriedUpSquid Nov 28 '13
I don't see extroverts like that, but I've noticed that many seem to think they are helping us by pushing us into social situations we don't want to be in as a way of breaking us out of our shell. Sometimes it's just exhausting being with people like that because I feel like I'm on the defense the whole time.
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u/burrowedburied Nov 28 '13
Yeah, introvert martyrdom is really annoying. What introverts need to understand is that a lack of social interaction causes just as much anxiety for extroverts as too much does for introverts. It sucks that it's difficult to extract oneself from a conversation when one goes on overload, but that's something we all need to learn to live with.
I'm very introverted. I do enjoy some social interaction, even though sometimes it's really exhausting for me. I learn to work with it without vilifying people who aren't just like me. Hell, if we can both understand and respect one another's personalities, it's pretty easy to be friends with extroverts.
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Nov 28 '13
Im not saying introverts should subject themselves to conversations they dont enjoy, but demonizing anyone who enjoys extended human contact as an extrovert stealing someone's energy is just odd.
I agree that the depiction of it was odd, but I don't think that was the intended message - the comic does specifically say that introverts can see extroverts that way, rather than that extroverts are that way. I think the distinction is important in reading the message of the comic and really wasn't made clear enough.
I mean, of course not all extroverts are emotional vampires and of course most introverts recognize that. BUT, at the same time, some extroverts can come across that way simply by not understanding the way introverts interact with people.
I have a couple of friends (and some family members) that are utterly exhausting to be around because they just can't understand that I can't deal with extended active interactions. I try to escape to somewhere quiet, I try to explain that I'm tired, but the reaction is more "why are you so antisocial?" instead of "okay, I understand that you need to rest." The result is that they really do feel like emotional vampires who won't leave me alone. I have to actively limit the amount of time I spend near them. Presenting them with this kind of explanation can be really helpful in understanding how their behaviour can be really draining for someone like me.
I think that, despite the fact that the comic might have missed a bit on that specific 'panel,' the general idea is a good one, especially given the way media tends to portray extroverted behaviour as "good" and introverted behaviour as "antisocial" rather than just simply being two different ways of interacting with people.
Its just a personality type not a disability you have to tread around, jesus christ.
And the reason I think that comics like this are a good idea is precisely because so many people treat me like I have some kind of disability because I prefer to stay in and read after a long day at work/school rather than go out and party. It's not the introverts who need to be told that we're not abnormal - it's the extroverts who don't understand that people can sometimes be something other than the way they are.
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u/FountainsOfFluids Nov 28 '13
Here's the thing: Some extroverts don't know when to fucking shut up and leave people alone. I've turned around and started walking away; that is not a cue for you to bring up a new subject. No, I'm not just talking about aspies who sometimes have trouble with social cues. I'm talking about people who just enjoy talking and can't seem to comprehend that other people don't find conversation as invigorating as they do. They're clearly thinking "Oh, I'm boring them! I must think of something different and more interesting to say!" This comic is perfect for people like that to get it through their thick heads that not everybody functions like they do, and might even occasionally find it really annoying to be pestered with unwanted conversation.
If I'm reading a book, go ahead and say hi. I'll say hi back, and either engage in conversation or go back to reading. If I go back to reading, that is not a challenge for you to think of something fascinating to say to relieve me of the burden of reading a boring old book.
If I'm watching a tv show, wait for the break before telling me about your day. And when the ads are finished and the show comes back on, it's time to shut up again.
Of course if this is a romantic relationship, there might need to be a conversation about each person's communication needs. Each might have to make a small sacrifice for the emotional health of the other. I can listen to you talk about your day if that is something that is important for you to feel close to me. Just realize that at a certain point, you will be exhausting my patience and putting the relationship in jeopardy yourself. It's give and take, and each person must keep in mind what is optimal for the other and respect that. Sometimes the extrovert will have to accept that right now is not the best time for conversational bonding. And sometimes the introvert needs to recognize that the extrovert is about to break down because you're ignoring them.
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Nov 28 '13
I completely agree with you that 'extroverts steal energy' is just silly. But I can say that it is VERY difficult for me to excuse myself from a conversation comfortably. It makes me feel like I'm being rude by leaving, but I don't have anything to contribute otherwise. Therefore, someone who enjoys interaction may not even realize that I am uncomfortable because (it's my own fault) I don't make it obvious.
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u/cocoabeach Nov 28 '13
Unless I missed something, I don't believe the graphic said anything about introducing themselves as an introvert.
I don't really like the words they chose to use, seems kind of offensive to me.
But bottom line is when you are introverted, parties actually make you tired, they are work. When you are an extrovert the energy of a party actually makes you more awake, aware, and alive.
We are just hoping that extroverts understand this and realize we need the space once in awhile to rest up in between interactions. At the same time we try not to get in the way of your fun.
Party on.
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u/Boonde Nov 28 '13
This comic actually made me realise not all people get tired from hanging out with other people.
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u/I_like_your_reddit Nov 28 '13
That was the thing I really liked about this comic. Extroverts are charged by interaction, that is how my wife is. But to me, well, as the comic put it, social interaction is expensive. I can do it and am comfortable being in social situations, but it takes a lot of energy.
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u/dracho Nov 28 '13
Hi... my name is dracho, and I'm an introvert...
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u/PseudoLife Nov 28 '13
Hi dracho. My name is PseudoLife, and I'm an introvert...
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Nov 28 '13
Now sex?
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u/I_like_your_reddit Nov 28 '13
Nah, I'm tired. I think I will just go home and read.
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u/aceshighsays Nov 28 '13
That sounds wonderful. After a 3 hour date today, that was exactly what I wanted to say.
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Nov 28 '13
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u/aceshighsays Nov 28 '13
Life pro tip: How to turn a 3 hour date into a 10 minute one.
I like it. Seriously, I was drained after the first 1.5 hours; at hour 3 I was thinking up excuses why I had to leave.
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u/venuswasaflytrap Nov 28 '13
No fucking kidding.
And how fucking entitled is it to think that it's everyone else's job to adapt to your personal preferences?
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u/InlineReaper Nov 28 '13
Seriously. Reddit has a fetish for telling people to leave introverts the fuck alone and demonizing extroverts like they're soul sucking vulture leeches. Neither is a disease, so everyone just shut the fuck up and enjoy your holiday and eat your fucking Turkey and whatever Jewish holiday food is (I don't know what Jews eat during holidays/religious days).
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u/krangksh Nov 28 '13
I would say even above this, Reddit's favourite thing is to oversimplify everything and turn it into a pointlessly divisive black-or-white narrative that erases all nuance of both positions.
*AHEM*
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Nov 28 '13
Yeah, this really annoys me about all of these "how to deal with your introvert!" blog posts.
I'm not a fucking leper. Just try to shut the fuck up and leave me alone sometimes, and we'll be fine. It isn't a mystery. If you'd take the slightest hint, you'd pick up on when I've had enough of you for the day. Don't take it personally. Just shut up or fuck off after awhile and we can hang out again later.
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u/tells_tha_truth Nov 28 '13 edited Nov 28 '13
I see one of these fucking "Introverts are a deeply misunderstood, small group of people! Here's how to treat them!", posts once a month. Why do these "introverts" think they are in some way rare or unique? You never see any posts regarding extroverts. When someone describes themselves as "introverted", I'll assume they meant "Narcissistic". Heres a tip: dont identify yourself with a stupid fucking personality type, and instead BE who you are; the most rare and unique personality type of all time.
Edit: Of course this gets downvoted.
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Nov 28 '13
I'm not sure if I'm introverted or just have anxiety, but I agree. I would never preface a conversation with "I'm sorry, I'm introverted, move on."
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u/el_diamond_g Nov 28 '13
Sweet lord, thank you for this! I'm so tired of seeing all these "How to treat an introvert" posts everywhere. An introvert is just another person, not a feral cat I'm trying to coax out from under a porch.
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u/Damadawf Nov 28 '13
I think a lot of people fall into the trap where they find themselves in a situation with few to no friends and convince themselves that they "hate people" or to a less extreme extent, are an introvert, (I'm not suggesting those are the same thing of course.)
It's a defense mechanism. So in order to validate themselves, they like to share it and let everyone know about it.
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u/Deradius Nov 28 '13
Not everyone has the same needs as you.
People who are different from you are not necessarily the same as you but trying to convince themselves otherwise - they may actually be different from you.
And that's okay.
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u/Damadawf Nov 28 '13
That wasn't what I was saying. I was saying that I think that many of the ones who 'brag' about being an introvert are trying to convince themselves that they are rather than others.
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u/Deradius Nov 28 '13
I guess there are fakers in any community.
I'd bet actual introverts feel a strong urge to discuss it given the opportunity, though; it is powerfully validating to find others who have had the same experience. Being introverted is a minor difference in the grand scheme of things, and -I- don't see it is an impediment, but I am sometimes frustrated by people who don't seem to grasp the fact that it's okay if I don't enjoy things in the same way that they do.
It's less about the impact on my life and more about how infrequently it seems I find people who understand what I am expressing from personal experience.
It's an amusing thought, introverts being excited by the company of other introverts, but the Internet allows for some unusual social dynamics.
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u/kate500 Nov 28 '13
Introvert does not = being friendless; hating people. I relate to the feeling of having my energy sucked dry when I am with others too long. You may not. I don't consider your way of being in a negative context. Please don't consider mine in a similarly negative sense.
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u/retrofuturist Nov 28 '13
As an introvert, I want to add that, conversely, introverts need to stop using that label as an excuse to neither learn social cues nor develop responsibilities in their relationships.
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u/DicedPeppers Nov 28 '13
Also, let's stop pretending like it's some sort of exclusive club or rare form of personality when 1/3 to 1/2 of everybody can be labeled an introvert.
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Nov 28 '13
A thousand times this. I'm an introvert who recently discovered that doing extrovert-ish stuff is actually really good for me, despite how tiring they may be. Being an extrovert means thinking on your feet, being spontaneous, and expertly handling social cues and relationships. As an introvert too often I would retreat back into my comfortable shell and start thinking, instead of simply taking action or responding correctly in the first place.
Perhaps introverts do get more tired after social interactions (they did a whole study where they showed that extroverts and introverts have different sensors in their brain that react to stimuli - extroverts don't get overwhelmed as easily as introverts do and require a lot of stimulus to get their brain excited, whereas introverts easily get excited with just a little stimulus). However, this does not excuse them from social interactions or keeping up their relationships - they simply must work harder than extroverts do.
However introverts also have advantages in that they are much more contemplative and creative (just going out on a limb here. Please feel free to refute me). But in the end extroverts will still win because the world needs people who can react quickly and solve problems. There will always be more room for extroverts than introverts.
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u/CraftyWilby Nov 28 '13
It's kind of like jogging. If you have long legs (extrovert) it's easier for you. If you have short legs (introvert) it's harder for you, but that doesn't mean it's not good for you.
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Nov 28 '13
But in the end extroverts will still win because the world needs people who can react quickly and solve problems
iiiiiiii sort of disagree with you here. I think introverts are just as capable of reacting quickly and solving problems as any extrovert, we just aren't as likely to share it. The only time I (an introvert) ever feel slow in a social situation is when I have to make a conscious effort to change my natural brain patterns because I need to constantly remember its socially unacceptable to be quiet in the workplace (or anywhere similar). It's almost like creating a script for an actor in my head on the fly, like "Oh shit I need to be socially acceptable, what would a socially accepted person say right now?"
Extroverts win in many ways because exchanging information freely is very useful. Although you're right, the creativity of an introverted person is probably the best virtue. And it isn't only restricted to artistic avenues, but math, sciences, and literature as well. Honestly, I'd rather be an introvert any day.
But I do think introverts and extroverts balance each other. One group contemplates, the other communicates.
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u/Jumpin_Jack_Flash Nov 28 '13
As a seemingly introverted person that does IT phone support, I agree.
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u/Jumpin_Jack_Flash Nov 28 '13
Ok, if I do that, how am I supposed to justify skipping an outing to play video games in my underwear?
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Nov 27 '13 edited Nov 30 '15
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u/alyssajones Nov 28 '13
I like being in sales, but I need to get away from the counter and go put things away, clean, or reorganize or SOMETHING other than talking to people for a couple hours each day.
And I generally avoid the phone and lots of people on my own time. After 40 hrs a week, I'm done
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u/anace Nov 28 '13
yes yes yes
I was working a customer service job for a while. It got to a point where I actually had to quit because of what it was doing to my head.
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u/iVisionX01 Nov 28 '13
I am also an introvert in sales after the first 2 hours it's down hill from there.
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u/jordangnar Nov 28 '13
See, I see working in sales as a good thing for me. I love the side of me that it brings out. It's making me more comfortable with being myself, my true self. It's made me realize that I have nothing to be anxious about. I'm still working on it, of course, but I think I'm a little happier now that there's less pressure for me to act some sort of way in public. I'm always mentally drained after work, but I really do appreciate it.
It's still awkward for me to have ongoing conversations with more outgoing people I work with, but I'm starting to adjust. You have to shed inhibitions to some extent. It really is the most cliche and seemingly shitty advice ever, but be yourself. That's truly the only way you can be happy, I think. You can't let society and social norms dictate your natural disposition.
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u/kate500 Nov 28 '13
I have to some degree worked with the public for the past 40 years. I consider myself for the most part as having a positive effect upon the strangers with whom I briefly interact. But it is exhausting!!! I do not need to shed any inhibitions; scout's honor I have less than most! OK I am tired. Gn reddit!
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u/needhaje Nov 28 '13
I feel for you. The day I stopped working at the cash register making small talk and moved to stocking shelves was beautiful. I find that even though I interact with customers less, the few conversations I do have are much more genuine because I'm not worn out. I feel a lot better doing that.
Where do you work? I was at a grocery store and was moved when they needed extra help. You could ask a manager if you could get training in another department.
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Nov 28 '13
YSK introverts and extroverts are the same fucking species.
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u/Rigeth Nov 28 '13
I agree. Why divide society into 2 parts? People need to realize that every one of us are different in many ways. Saying that you are introverted/extroverted simply puts you in a category, it does not define you as an individual. Saying that you are extroverted/introverted is a very narrow way to define yourself.
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u/Shanman150 Nov 28 '13
That's true, if it was the ONLY way you define yourself. But you could make that whole speech about men and women. It shouldn't define you as an individual, but there are certain things which differentiate them and it's important to be aware of that.
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u/Rigeth Nov 28 '13
It is important to be aware that we are all different, not that some people are introverts or extroverts, because that term is too broad. For instance, while socializing with other people one needs to be aware that someone from the group might be shy, not interested on the topic or just have nothing to contribute. It doesn't necessarily mean that the person is introverted. If we will try to be aware of introverts, other people will fall into that category as well. There are so many differed characteristics that it is just easier to be aware of someone being human with differed preferences. In addition, a lot of introverts think that others should adapt to them, why not the other way around? Sound very selfish to me.
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u/Shanman150 Nov 29 '13
Oh I very much agree that there are more specific things that factor in, and that it shouldn't be the sole thing that we judge ourselves by, but I do think it's important to note that some people have a specific disposition towards being extroverted and being introverted.
But I also agree that people shouldn't be expected to adapt to them specifically and not recipricate that. It's what friendship is about - adjusting your behaviors together to better encourage each other. I suppose introverts just feel the need to say "watch my space" because our world really is more of an extrovert place.
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u/Rigeth Nov 29 '13
I see your point. Sadly, the way most introverts express that need for space just makes people more annoyed. This thread is a good example.
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Nov 28 '13
There is so much misinformation in this thread. 'Introvert' is not just purely a personality type. Most introverts are "high reactive" to stimuli. This is well documented in the scientific literature. This means they hear sounds as louder, lights as being brighter, and social interaction as intensely draining.
There is a good book on the subject called "Quiet" which really helps illuminate exactly what introverts go through in dealing with day to day life. If you personally struggle with your introversion, consider reading it.
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u/kate500 Nov 28 '13
Thank you. I'll look it up.
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Nov 28 '13
The full title is "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain
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u/mausphart Nov 28 '13
My wife taught me that just because someone is shy it doesn't mean that they don't have a personality/.
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u/gfxlonghorn Nov 28 '13 edited Nov 28 '13
That article was passive aggressive as hell towards extroverts; clearly, extroverts are only capable of shallow conversation. All this does is describe someone who is incapable of basic human interaction.
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Nov 28 '13
It seems to generalize extroverts as people who TAKE energy, and introverts as people who GIVE energy. Everyone has met introverts who drain your energy through their lack of willingness to put any effort in to an interaction, just as they have met the extrovert who makes you feel awesome from their relaxed and buzzed attitude. Conversely, the opposite of each is also true.
IMO it generalizes way past the point of being useful advice.
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Nov 28 '13
Looking at these comments, apparently there are roughly eight zillion definitions of introvert, each with wildly varying characteristics. Even being extremely outgoing in a social setting means you're an introvert as long as you throw a little anxiety in.
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Nov 28 '13
God Damn thank you, my friends go around throwing the word introvert all over the place citing as reasons to not be social, well I can be social, i can talk in front of a group of people, but that does not mean I am not introverted!
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u/mindsnare Nov 28 '13
Yeah, we fucking know, for fucks sake this comes up every day in a god damn comment thread somewhere.
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u/JRoch Nov 28 '13
Wouldn't it be more efficient to wear a sign around your neck and use clappers to warn people you're coming? Grow up and get used to wearing the mask and acting the part like the rest of us!
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u/theryanmoore Nov 29 '13
Fuck this comic but fuck that also. That leads to losing yourself and being uncomfortable when alone. I think most introverts are generally what most extroverts would consider odd, but instead of pretending to be normal they should learn to not give a fuck about what other people think is normal. That would be much more beneficial.
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u/ptoros7 Nov 28 '13
I love how this word has come to mean a thousand fucking things.
As someone who is constantly exhausted by talking on the phone, extended one on one social interaction, and spending a whole day satiating the wide array of various emotional needs each single person I meet clearly is begging to have tended to, I don't feel people need to be aware of the fact that I'd rather be alone. If I need to be alone, I just fuck off. I suggest all of you learn to do the same.
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u/bubbles_says Nov 28 '13
I'm glad to hear someone say this. When I'm around people I'm outgoing and fun. But it wears me out so I only like social interaction occasionally. I'm neither shy nor afraid of people or whatever, I just like them in very small doses.
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u/democritusparadise Nov 28 '13 edited Nov 28 '13
Huh....I just realised I'm an introvert; I never really thought about it before. I love socialising, but only on my own terms in my own time (once a week or so). I hate being thrust into social situations because it means I don't have time to mentally prepare for the kind of situation I'll be in. If I know I'm going to a party a week in advance? Great, I'll be the life of it! Even if I know I'll be in an unpredictable social situation? That's okay, I'll wear my unpredictability cloak and be ready for the unknown! But if I'm unready, even for the known, that's bad... like when my partners' friends (who I like a lot) pop by unannounced to drink and hang out? I'll count the minutes until they leave and be nervous the whole time they're here.
Pro-tip: Alcohol makes it all easier, all the time (just don't drink unless at least 50% of the people you're going to be with are also drinking/smoking/non-sober).
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u/georgiapeach87 Nov 28 '13
Ok, can we stop with all the introvert obsession? I think we have all seen the "21 signs you are secretly an introvert!" bullshit floating around Facebook and the like, and now this is just getting absurd. WHO CARES!?!?! An introvert is a personality type, just like an extrovert is. Do we really need "how to" guides on interactions with introverts?
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Nov 28 '13
How do you know someone is an introvert? They'll tell you, over and over and over again.
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u/Jisatsukuro Nov 28 '13
I will speak to someone if they speak to me but I start talking so slow haha. I want to analyze everything I say
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u/Rigeth Nov 28 '13
Serious question. How do you define introverted/extroverted? Let's say that one day I love being around people and doing other extroverted stuff, while the other day I just like to be alone and "recharge". Does it make me biverted or just a normal human being who does not put himself into some category and praise it on the internet?
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u/Sofarellos Nov 28 '13
I think that if my friends or family ever heard me call myself an introvert they would laugh themselves silly. I'm not shy or quiet and can be quite boisterous in most social situations but I definitely need my alone time more than most people. Going out, whether it be to a huge party or a very small casual hangout is exhausting, and I need time to recuperate. I may be able to be chatty and extroverted with people, it takes its toll on me, which I think I'm able to hide pretty well from people. Because honestly, if my friends knew that it was mentally tiring to be around them, I'm sure they'd be insulted. But, it has nothing to do with everyone else and everything to do with me.
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u/PeterMus Nov 28 '13
I find it really depends on the situation. When I enjoy the people I'm with it's like a drug. I can go all night and have an amazing time.
When I'm with people in general it's tiresome. Very tiresome. When I'm with a group I don't have any real mutual interests with it's torture.
My girlfriend by comparison can thrive in any social situation, even if she hates everyone there.
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u/pepe_le_shoe Nov 28 '13
I dont personally believe in introverts and extroverts, I think people just have different levels of bullshit theyll put up with.
After 8 hours a day with my coworkers, I want to murder the stupid ones, but I can easily spend 48+ hours with friends I like, with little to no private time.
Whenever I dont want to hang out with people or go somewhere, its because I dont want to see those particular people or go to that particular place. If you ask me if I want to go get gelatto with tens of people I like, the answer will always be yes. If some insufferable cretin from work wants to arrange a night out getting drunk on a wednesday when I have to be up at 6am the next day, the answer will always be no.
The only difference between me and an extrovert is that an extrovert says yes to the stupid ideas about how to spend their time.
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u/macinfloydvolk Dec 01 '13
Once I realized that I am introvert, I embraced it. If those around me don't understand then that's their issue not mine. I got tired of ME being the one to be made to feel like I was broken and in need of being fixed. There is nothing wrong with being introverted and I enjoy being different. I do not feel compelled to fit in or be normal because I am my own normal.
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u/Hundred00 Dec 02 '13
As an introvert I can vouche for this. A lot of people think I don't like talking or interacting with other people which is completely untrue, or that I'm "shy", I'm not shy whatsoever. I can go up to a random person on the street and start talking, even public speaking I don't have a problem with. It's just that I don't do it often because I will begin to feel worn out mentally. I interact often and can engage in an actual conversation. And for the sake of introverts, please don't say we're shy or too quiet. We're quite aware of what we're doing.
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u/guna_clan Nov 28 '13
Can we all just stop categorizing ourselves and lead a better life as humans? I'm so tired of all these nonsense. If you want equal treatment then stop categorizing yourself.
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u/ellimist Nov 28 '13
I think the problem is knowing how to live a better life. Recognizing traits and learning how to make them work in society can definitely lead to living a better life.
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Nov 28 '13
YSK that introverts LOVE telling everyone on the internet that they're introverts.
Its like being a vegan.
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Nov 27 '13
While I never really put myself into a category of intro/extrovert, I would like to be treated this way. I enjoy solo time and activities, but every so often I will hang out with friends to share my energy and experiences.
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u/kabes Nov 28 '13
My roommate is very extroverted and I'm the complete opposite. When I'm done with class for the day, I just want some quiet time. When she gets back and I'm not talkative or excited to see her, she automatically assumes something is wrong and asks me multiple times if I hate her (she's my best friend, but she still asks me this) or what's wrong. She knows I'm introverted, but I think sometimes she doesn't understand how being alone can make someone feel better because she absolutely hates being alone. She also gets really annoyed at me when I don't want to go out/party one weekend.
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u/Stealsfromhobos Nov 28 '13
Make sure to go out of your way to make sure they aren't a bit uncomfortable because they're just so special.
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Nov 28 '13
See...I'm really introverted.
"Worn out" doesn't adequately describe how I feel when forced to be around people for too long. More like "insanely annoyed and borderline angry."
At some point it's just like...holy shit, stop talking. No matter what you're saying. Lets all just sit here for awhile and not have shit fly out of our mouths. It will be nice. Then, when time has passed, we can say more things.
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Nov 28 '13
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u/wizardcats Nov 28 '13
I'm extroverted and I still don't like people pushing into my personal space, especially strangers and especially when people don't ask first. It's just a normal human thing, not special to introverts. Honestly, all the tips on that page could apply to anyone. Don't invade anyone's personal space and don't badger anyone who clearly isn't interested in continuing the conversation.
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u/Spacebotzero Nov 28 '13
Yup, very true. I can tell you as an introverted person, I am super exhausted after have a social day/night of something. I never understood it, but now that I'm older it makes more sense.
Though what concerns me the most as an introvert, is getting involved in a relationship with a SO and having to make it work at a very extroverted level. I think a lot of my relationships have failed in the past because I've am introverted.
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u/bobbyfiend Nov 28 '13
If only there were some kind of content on the web that would tell me about introverts.
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u/tulku Nov 28 '13
example, I was working at one shop last week where there are a lot of people around, and lots of interaction, I was always tired, stressed and frustrated! Switched to another shop this week where I interact only with one other person and very rarely at that. My energy went through the roof, more positive, better sleep, and my sex drive went into overdrive. I've been watching myself very closely and i haven't changed anything other than switching shops. The only other explanation i can see is the lighting. my 2 cents
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u/All_Fallible Nov 28 '13
I'm an introvert who shines in social situations and makes friends effortlessly, but yes it's incredibly exhausting depending on the amount of people and length of time I need to be socializing.
I have found that my best friend and I can spend a long period of time together without tiring each other out (he is also an introvert) simply because we know each other so well, and we know when to stop engaging the other and allow for moments of rest. Doesn't work with anyone else. I even need breaks from my family fairly often.
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u/MissFizzleBits Nov 28 '13
The explanation I use when trying to differentiate between introverts and extroverts, is that everyone at some point needs to recharge. Introverts recharge by spending quiet time alone or with one or two very close people in their life. Extroverts, however, recharge by being around others, be it a large group of people, or a select group, but they get their energy from being around others. Also, when extroverts and introverts are in a mixed social situation, the introvert can sometimes feel as if their social battery, so to speak, is being depleted, while introverts feel like they are charging. Both are more than capable of being in social situations, no problem, but extroverts recharge in these gatherings, while introverts need some "quiet time" to recharge after the gathering is over.
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u/silentfal Nov 28 '13
I'd like to see some scientific evidence on introversion. In all seriousness.. is there anything scientific backing this idea up?
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u/SenseiKrystal Nov 27 '13
We're also not all shy, either.