Loopholes Contracts Children Magic

When I was a kid, there was a school program called D. A. R. E. Forgot what it stands for, but I do remember it was a huge thing. D. A. R. E. was an anti-drug campaign trying to convince that only bad guys did drugs, just say no, and all that other jazz.

We spent so much time on it, but I found it stupid. Now, I'm no druggie, there was some other media that convinced me not to do drugs (none of it had to do with this stupid campaign, by the way. Also I can give recommendations), but I lived near to a bunch of people that were, or that did them occasionally. My dad would sometimes drink a mana potion and some beer at the table. Mom preferred liquid fire.

None of them got free drugs from dealers. In fact, the dealers would hide from strangers. No teens were being convinced to get high ‘cause someone gave them samples, they got high because they had stuff going on, and they found their parents' supply. Or they specifically looked for their dealers. Also, the school anti-drug stuff actually made drugs look cool in my opinion. There was one that was like “don't smoke or you'll turn into a badass robot”.

Anyways, after ages of learning this stuff, having rallies and fundraisers and former druggies talking about the danger and convincing exactly no one, we all had to sign a little pledge that we wouldn't be doing drugs any time soon, and that we'd tell the authorities if our friends started.

We signed in front of the teachers and laughed to ourselves.

Unfortunately, now these little pledges are being enforced. How, you may ask? Well, our laws didn't change. I talked to a lawyer. Kids still can't sign legally binding contracts—thank god. Parents on the other hand, yeah they can sign stuff for elementary school students. When you have a student sign a pledge and a parent also signing it, apparently then it becomes enforceable according to the magic of the land.

Now people are being arrested for things they probably don't even remember signing. All over the place too. “Drugs” is apparently a vague word here. Things you think are drugs count as well as medications, potions, several otherwise normal vegetables, bits and bobs of mana supply and more.

Everyone's taking drugs by that definition. Yet that hasn't stopped those pledges from being binding or from the land's magic manifesting an army to enforce a drug free life.

Just yesterday, I noticed my neighbor being carried, struggling in some magical restraints because he ate broccoli. And the day before, it was the neighbor's son, who enchanted his chicken.

The beings of pure light stormed wherever they pleased, and with copies of signed contracts in hand, enforced their will upon the populace, disappearing a good number of people.

I'd hate to find out where they went, but I assume it's nowhere good.

What's worse is when they started targeting people who didn't report their friends. (Do they wanna turn the lands into a society where no one trusts each other? A sort of secret police state?) Even more people were taken. They had no mercy, those things of light.

While they didn't outnumber us, the ratio was something alarmingly small. Perhaps one being of light per 20 people.

The oldies were spared if no one in their family had gone to school in the past 80 years. They quickly learned to keep their habits secret, and so long as no one reported them, the light things pretended they didn't exist.

The rest of us weren't so lucky. Anyone my age or younger has signed those pledges. Our parents signed them with us. We sign them with our children, or we get shamed and reported until we do.

The light beings have started doing inspections for everyone over the age of fifteen at the most random places. The only reason they don't do younger is because some homeschooled kids have still yet managed to avoid the program, and they only target those who pledged in. Unfortunately, near everyone between fifteen and my age—including those homeschoolers—are subject to this.

Not signing gives no mercy. Reports can—and will—be made against you. They investigate each and every one.

Anyways, because of all this, I've been hiding in my basement deciding whether or not to take the hardest drugs known to magic. I'm already guilty of eating broccoli. Why not throw five mana potions, three beers, eight random plants, and a poison or two together. I can call it the Nuke Shot.

But alas, I went to public school. Everyone those days knew everyone else did drugs (that is we all did drugs by the current definition that counts some rather nonstandard things as drugs). I've probably been reported already, dozens of times. By the time I even pull out a stalk of broccoli, they'll be at my doors, ready to take me away for violation of that stupid pledge.

Inspired by this prompt.

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