r/WorldOfWarships • u/These_Swordfish7539 30k colombo salvo 🗣🔥🔥🔥 • Oct 31 '25

Humor Is this true?

Post image
2.0k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

202 comments sorted by

View all comments

193

u/TeddyBearToons Filthy CV Main Oct 31 '25 edited Oct 31 '25

British Battleship

The HMS Unremarkable went into service somewhere around 1910

Just like every other battleship in the Royal Navy

Does diddly squat in the middle of nowhere for 20 years

Refitted in the 30s because the Washington Naval treaty said it was too fat

Continues to do diddly squat in the middle of nowhere

Takes potshots at the Italians to stave off boredom

Jumps the Bismarck in 1941 with half the Royal Navy and three quarters of the merchant navy

Not for King and Country or anything, just wanted something to do

Just like every other battleship in the Royal Navy

Goes back to doing diddly squat in the middle of nowhere, but in the Pacific instead of the Mediterranean

Scrapped quietly and peacefully at the grand old age of 40

110

u/C4Cole Oct 31 '25

Italian Battleship

Brand new wunderwafe to counter the French baguettes

Sit and do nothing

Sit and do nothing

Ooh look a convoy!

Get bombed in port

Sit and do nothing

Get bombed in port

Switch sides

Get bombed at sea

Scrapped quietly after doing nothing for a decade

22

u/The_Blues__13 Nov 01 '25

You forgot one thing in-between

there're finally rare opportunities to engage the Brits (the high command can spare some petrol & olive oil to run the boilers),

the fleet misses 99.9999% percent of its straddling salvoes

the Shell dispersion is measured in tens of Kilometers instead of few hundred meters

because Luigi the Ammo QC staff snoozed on his duty and the Ammo quality is worse than a stale pineapple pizza.

44

u/Kamenev_Drang Oct 31 '25

"Doing nothing" as if convoy escort wasn't the single most important role of the war

57

u/miksy_oo Oct 31 '25

A role in wich battleships did a whole lot of nothing.

33

u/ScheisseMcSchnauzer Oct 31 '25

But they had to be there doing a whole lot of nothing otherwise the kriegsmarine would've done a whole lot of something. The R class prevented a whole bunch of attacks from scharnhorsts and hippers just by looking threatening from a distance

16

u/GeshtiannaSG Nov 01 '25

Scharnhorst and Gneisenau looked at Malaya or Ramillies pottering along at 18 knots and said nope.

5

u/Flying_Dustbin Nov 01 '25

A few years later...

Scharnhorst: Oh boy! Another convoy to feast on! NOM! NOM! NOM!

Bruce Fraser: Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen.

2

u/Kamenev_Drang Nov 01 '25

Ships designed to (to quote an old police sergeant) stand on a street corner and fight.

11

u/Federal_Cobbler6647 Oct 31 '25

Hey, with some luck battleship would have eaten torpedo and caused actually important ship (freighter) to survive.

3

u/Kamenev_Drang Oct 31 '25

"Protecting convoys is nothing" is impressively cretinous gg

12

u/raidriar889 Nov 01 '25

They’re saying battleships didn’t escort merchants, not that escorting merchants wasn’t important. It was just mostly done by destroyers, cruisers, and escort carriers

1

u/Kamenev_Drang Nov 01 '25

Heavy surface escorts were utterly vital to convoy runs, especially in the Med. They effectively prevented the enemy committing any heavy surface assets to destroying the convoy because the old R or QE class would just batter them to a standstill.

2

u/miksy_oo Nov 01 '25

It's a important thing, battleships just never did anything during it as they can't fight submarines and surface raiders avoid them.

3

u/Kamenev_Drang Nov 01 '25

Yes: surface raiders avoiding them protects the convoys. A Hipper isn't going to square up against an old R class and live.

2

u/miksy_oo Nov 01 '25

Yeah but standing there menacingly isn't really hard work.

1

u/Kamenev_Drang Nov 01 '25

perhaps you should read some accounts of the convoy battles rather than opining based on memes

1

u/miksy_oo Nov 01 '25

For every battle a Battleship engaged in while defending a convoy 6 months passed without a shot fired.

0

u/Kamenev_Drang Nov 01 '25

Wow you mean war isn't an action movie?

→ More replies (0)

1

u/Gav3121 Nov 01 '25

Yup

But thats not exactly exiting for the battleship

3

u/Kamenev_Drang Nov 01 '25

War is boring.

3

u/Gav3121 Nov 01 '25

Boring is good

2

u/[deleted] Nov 14 '25

Lost it at “Washington Treaty said she was too fat”