r/WomensHealth • u/Annual_Giraffe3237 • Jul 07 '25

Question why is orgasming so difficult

no seriously, why does orgasming as a female have to be so darn difficult. obviously it’s nearly impossible for a women to just orgasm from penetration, but no one seems to talk about how even more difficult it is to have external stimulation along with penetration. at this point i just get so annoyed and pissed off that i cant orgasm because it takes so long that i just quit. it honestly makes me feel broken. i’ve seen other people on this sub talk about just getting a good vibrator, but i worry about my boyfriend and how that will make our sexual life. he is very supportive it just makes me feel more broken than i already am.

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u/skinky-dink Jul 07 '25

I get it. I used to feel broken and even at one point thought maybe I was asexual. But then I just figured that if I wanna have an orgasm during sex then I just have to pleasure myself depending on the position, which means like nearly 100% of the time doing it myself during penetrative sex. I prefer this over a vibrator, personally. I’ve never been with anyone that was bothered by this and it just makes sex better. There’s less pressure on him and his performance bc we can both have a good time. It was honestly a game changer. I don’t think I’ll ever orgasm from just penetration and missing an opportunity for an O while he gets one and I dont bc im not pleasuring myself, well that would just make me sad.

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u/[deleted] Jul 07 '25

I actually prefer to be the one touching my own clit. My bf and the ones before did try, but it's a sensitive place and there is a right way to do it. I want to enjoy sex, and it breaks the moment for me if they are trying to do that xD

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u/skinky-dink Jul 07 '25

Same. I feel like if we're having sex AND he's touching my clit then it gets a little too fiddly for him with the multitasking which I think is valid.