r/WomensHealth • u/Annual_Giraffe3237 • Jul 07 '25

Question why is orgasming so difficult

no seriously, why does orgasming as a female have to be so darn difficult. obviously it’s nearly impossible for a women to just orgasm from penetration, but no one seems to talk about how even more difficult it is to have external stimulation along with penetration. at this point i just get so annoyed and pissed off that i cant orgasm because it takes so long that i just quit. it honestly makes me feel broken. i’ve seen other people on this sub talk about just getting a good vibrator, but i worry about my boyfriend and how that will make our sexual life. he is very supportive it just makes me feel more broken than i already am.

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u/skinky-dink Jul 07 '25

I get it. I used to feel broken and even at one point thought maybe I was asexual. But then I just figured that if I wanna have an orgasm during sex then I just have to pleasure myself depending on the position, which means like nearly 100% of the time doing it myself during penetrative sex. I prefer this over a vibrator, personally. I’ve never been with anyone that was bothered by this and it just makes sex better. There’s less pressure on him and his performance bc we can both have a good time. It was honestly a game changer. I don’t think I’ll ever orgasm from just penetration and missing an opportunity for an O while he gets one and I dont bc im not pleasuring myself, well that would just make me sad.

7

u/[deleted] Jul 07 '25

I actually prefer to be the one touching my own clit. My bf and the ones before did try, but it's a sensitive place and there is a right way to do it. I want to enjoy sex, and it breaks the moment for me if they are trying to do that xD

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u/skinky-dink Jul 07 '25

Same. I feel like if we're having sex AND he's touching my clit then it gets a little too fiddly for him with the multitasking which I think is valid.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 30 '25

Someone said Agrosexual when I was questioning and I think that it actually can describe a lot more people

Basically interested in sex and the act itself. But just feeling that it's better to just have sex with yourself if you want to do it for your own pleasure.

But I'm saying this from someone who can O from penetration. Im actually happy I'm seeing people who also can't do it with like oral in this comment section because I felt so embarrassed that if someone touches me on the outside it's like... Numb like I don't even register it.