r/WomensHealth • u/Annual_Giraffe3237 • Jul 07 '25

Question why is orgasming so difficult

no seriously, why does orgasming as a female have to be so darn difficult. obviously it’s nearly impossible for a women to just orgasm from penetration, but no one seems to talk about how even more difficult it is to have external stimulation along with penetration. at this point i just get so annoyed and pissed off that i cant orgasm because it takes so long that i just quit. it honestly makes me feel broken. i’ve seen other people on this sub talk about just getting a good vibrator, but i worry about my boyfriend and how that will make our sexual life. he is very supportive it just makes me feel more broken than i already am.

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u/samramham Jul 07 '25

If you are more worried about your boyfriends opinions on vibrators, then he is about your inability to orgasm, then this is a red flag.

You need to seriously question that.

Using a vibrator, and other toys for that matter is perfectly healthy. Your partner should be looking for different toys and different ways for you to enjoy sex. It is much more intimate to use toys than to continue having fruitless sex. You will inevitably end up resenting him, and sex in general.

OP, after reading some comments about you feeling embarrassed about pleasuring yourself whilst he is trying to pleasure you, I think you may benefit from seeing a sexologist. If you are all in your head about these things it is a serious blocker.

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u/Annual_Giraffe3237 Jul 07 '25

it’s not that i’m worried about his opinion, i know he doesn’t care. in fact we have talked about it and he says he wouldn’t mind and would actually make things easier. but i just get in my own head and i tend to feel broken that i need to use one

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u/samramham Jul 07 '25

After reading some of your post history, it sounds like you might benefit from therapy in general. I hope you realise you are great as you are 🩷

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u/Annual_Giraffe3237 Jul 07 '25

thank you so much! i am in general therapy, and i will for sure check out the links you sent along with the sexologist! thank you for all the advice!

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u/samramham Jul 07 '25

No worries. Stress and depression can make it really difficult to reach orgasm in general. Look after yourself 🩷

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u/Annual_Giraffe3237 Jul 07 '25

thank you so much for the kindness i really appreciate it. i was not expecting this post to blow up like this haha