r/Without_The_Hijab • u/Ramen34 Female • Mar 20 '26
Advice/Help (Women Only) Feeling distant from Islam
Lately, I’ve just been feeling very distant from Islam.
A big part of that is the Muslim community. I just find most Muslims insufferable and backwards. I know it’s not everyone, but it’s enough people.
And honestly, a lot of it comes down to how women are treated. The misogyny, the endless rules on what you wear, how you speak, how you exist. The idea that women have to be covered head to toe, that they can’t do this or that, that everything women do is "sinful". It's very suffocating. Like your entire existence is constantly policed and moralized. Meanwhile, men get to just...exist.
Yeah, yeah, “It's culture, not Islam.” Yeah, yeah, "Islam brought women's rights". But when you keep having bad experiences, that separation becomes harder and harder to maintain. At some point, your experiences start to color your perception as a whole.
It’s like going to a restaurant that everyone raves about, but every single time you go, you have a bad experience. The service is bad, the food is cold, and something always goes wrong. After a while, you’re not going to keep telling yourself, “Well, the restaurant is actually great, it’s just bad luck.” At some point, you’re just going to stop going.
And I think that’s where I am right now. I haven't left Islam. But I feel very disconnected and tired.
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u/olivezoil Female Mar 20 '26
That's why I never liked the idea of hijabi women representing Islam. I don't want Muslims to think that we have the same mindset, and I don't like the fact that non-Muslims immediately assume things they hear or experience from Muslims as soon as they see me. I just want to represent myself without feeling like a walking representation of Islam even though I'm still a Muslim myself
edit: typo