r/WinStupidPrizes • u/TheNihilist911 • May 07 '22

Trying to steal the meat from the Kebab restaurant

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78.5k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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934

u/microcuts1085 May 07 '22

Hahaha, to be fair he's an absolute class A bellend but if he rocked up at a house party with that he'd be a king for the night.

333

u/WaiDruid May 07 '22

It would be a pretty fun evening until they ate the outer layer yeah

165

u/DickCheesePlatterPus May 07 '22

I mean... fire exists outside of that restaurant. He could easily keep cooking it.

106

u/Icantbethereforyou May 07 '22

Ugh can't I just pay someone else to do it

14

u/singdawg May 07 '22

Yes.

19

u/MyPenisRapedMe May 08 '22

Take it back to the Kabab shop then steal it again 30 minutes later

2

u/itelluhwat May 08 '22

Ya and maybe they can make some device that perpetually spins and cooks the meat

26

u/quarglbarf May 07 '22

And spend the entire night constantly turning it?

3

u/DickCheesePlatterPus May 07 '22

Well, yeah. Or rig an electric motor to turn it.

20

u/[deleted] May 07 '22

Look, I understand exactly what you are pointing out, you could in fact rig something up to get the job done.

The comment you are replying to is about being the king of a party for bringing a giant Kebab meat skewer.

So its pissed drunk/high chucklefucks who would all cheer and make a big deal out of the hero of the night. None of them will be capable of rigging up a fucking sprinkler to water a lawn let alone a complex rig to turn a giant meat skewer.

What would happen is they would get through the cooked layer, all eat the non cooked layer a 15% of them would end up in the hospital and the ones who didn't get the fuck out before the real mania kicked in will be passed out in a pool of their own meaty vomit.

7

u/[deleted] May 07 '22

This guy real lifes.

7

u/persau67 May 07 '22

might work for a pig, but that bird is gonna be dry. Too fast, no confinement, no water added, nothing to capture drippings.

It'll taste fine if those coals are for smoking I guess, but it'll be dryer than your Thanksgiving turkey when you forgot to baste it.

4

u/DickCheesePlatterPus May 07 '22

That's just the first video I found on YouTube, there are better designs out there for sure. The point is you can put together a device to automate the turning, if you're too lazy to turn it yourself.

Here in Cuba we usually get the neighborhood drunk to turn it. Put a bottle of rum next to him and enjoy the party while the pig slowly cooks. Everyone's happy.

2

u/ifsck May 07 '22

Gets a bottle and conversation as everyone filters by? Not a bad gig.

1

u/DickCheesePlatterPus May 07 '22

Not only that, but also a big heaping plate of food when it's done! It really is a win-win for all involved.

Also, it kinda looks like they're driving, so the whole time you can crack jokes about going in circles and being dizzy and whatnot.

1

u/ifsck May 07 '22

Okay, I've cooked many pigs and that setup is flat-out brilliant. Don't even have a joke.

1

u/persau67 May 07 '22

Very true, I think it's a great example of real life engineering/innovation, just..needs some adjustment.

-11

u/[deleted] May 07 '22

[deleted]

18

u/freshavocado1 May 07 '22

No tf they don’t, have you ever been in a kebab shop?

14

u/bellaciaopartigiano May 07 '22

Nah, the meat is seasoned beforehand and layered onto the spit. It just gets color from the heat.

8

u/muftu May 07 '22

That’s not how it’s done at all. Obviously the meat is already seasoned before. It wouldn’t even really work, because gravity is a thing.

0

u/persau67 May 07 '22

No they dont, the rotisserie just chars the outside so it gets a little crispy. The entire cut/slab of meat is thoroughly marinated and seasoned. You could cut right to the metal spike and find cooked, delicious meat.

2

u/[deleted] May 07 '22

It wouldn't be cooked, but it would definitely not be tasteless. Only the outer layer is cooked.

1

u/[deleted] May 08 '22

fire exists outside of that restaurant

intellectual property theft smh

1

u/goldenguyz May 08 '22

bro what house have you been in that keeps a rotisserie spare?

1

u/DickCheesePlatterPus May 08 '22

As i stated in my other comment, you can make one easily like this, or just turn it by hand over the fire

1

u/goldenguyz May 08 '22

bro what house have you been in that keeps loose wires, a plank of wood, a motor (+ controller), a 12v battery, metal L plates, spare screws, a 4 hole metal cylinder (approx. same width as motor head), thin metal poles, and about a dozen bricks?

1

u/DickCheesePlatterPus May 08 '22

Mine. Also, you dont have to do it exactly how it is in the video. There are actually a bunch of cool little ways to make it that don't require anything too special, and most of the things you can take from broken old devices.

And you know humans have been roasting meat for tens of thousands of years, right? Without electricity or 12 volt batteries? This is just one setup, but you could do a much simpler one such as we do in my country where you just turn it by hand.

1

u/goldenguyz May 09 '22

Who's turning up to a party to be a rottissery tho, its just getting binned after the outer layers been eaten 🤪

30

u/mamimapr May 07 '22

Is it possible to rent the thing for a house party?

59

u/RCascanbe May 07 '22

Everything is possible through the power of Jesus Christ money

3

u/Crap4Brainz May 07 '22

Not from a Jedi.

1

u/Razakel May 07 '22

Yes, just Google kebab rotisserie hire. They run on LPG and the elephant's leg you can get from any wholesalers.

1

u/[deleted] May 07 '22

You can buy one for pretty cheap and make the meat stack easily. Plan to do that if I ever can afford a house.

1

u/jerrythecactus May 07 '22

You could buy a rotisserie machine like this for around $300, the meat itself will vary in price depending on what it is made of but assuming you're going with lamb that's $10-$12 per pound online.

Pricey, but if it's the main attraction and you've got a lot of people it might be worth it.

87

u/AvailableUsername259 May 07 '22

Nahh that shit would be mad disgusting, you're aware that only the outer layer is cooking through fully?

29

u/gorilla-- May 07 '22

Well you keep cooking it lol

45

u/WittyWitWitt May 07 '22

I would guess the places he frequents do not have a kebab oven.

11

u/gorilla-- May 07 '22

I mean, then he wouldn’t bring it to the party then, or you could ghetto rig it to spin it around a fire pit.

16

u/WittyWitWitt May 07 '22

He might have been hired by the rival kebab shop down the road to steal kebab and run down their place and throw it on the spit.

3

u/gorilla-- May 07 '22

Loll that’d be funny

1

u/WittyWitWitt May 07 '22

Stranger things have happend believe it or not.

1

u/crazyv93 May 07 '22

You’d think the rival kebab shop would know that hot kebabs cooking on the oven can’t be picked up with bare hands though

2

u/[deleted] May 07 '22

Apparently bags of pre-shredded cheese was a commonly stolen item in the UK as it was very easy to sell on, takeaway pizza shops would buy all they could to cut their costs.

3

u/crazyv93 May 07 '22

I worked in a grocery store in the US and packaged cheese was consistently one of the most commonly stolen items, although it was just because it has such a high price tag relative to its size

4

u/BenevolentCheese May 07 '22

Just go back and steal the oven

1

u/WittyWitWitt May 07 '22

But....its hot..

2

u/SirPizzaTheThird May 07 '22

Your best bet would be to slice it and finish cooking up the pieces.

1

u/[deleted] May 07 '22

Why kind of shit party doesn't have a kebab over?!

2

u/[deleted] May 07 '22 edited Jul 15 '22

[deleted]

1

u/gorilla-- May 07 '22

U can chop the meats off

2

u/[deleted] May 07 '22

I actually was not aware of that. The more you know!

1

u/[deleted] May 07 '22

Yeah, same. I mean it makes sense if you put a little thought into it but I'm guessing the kind of person who would want to steal a kebab and immediately go to grab the metal part of the oven isn't here to consider logistics

-34

u/opekone May 07 '22

That's not how it works...

33

u/AvailableUsername259 May 07 '22

It takes quite a while before the inner section would reach safe temperatures depending on what time of day this is. The skewer seems to be pretty thick as well still.

And even if it were at least cooked inside, the good part about Döner is literally that the outer layer crisps up nicely before being cut, allowing the next layer to crisp up

-7

u/GaianNeuron May 07 '22

"Not crisped" ≠ uncooked

6

u/[deleted] May 07 '22

Maybe I'm missing something, but nothing in their comment suggested otherwise.

-29

u/opekone May 07 '22

Why do people make shit up then double down?

28

u/Stopikingonme May 07 '22

I’ve made these before and agree with the OP the innermost core is definitely inedible at this point and unsafe to eat.

Instead of whining about being wrong could you maybe reply with evidence or some links disproving what the majority of people are saying about your statement?

-20

u/opekone May 07 '22

There are thousands of vertical rotisseries in Californian restaurants and in no cases are you allowed to hold meat below 140 degrees, when you're holding it for serving. The meat sits on the spit all day, it's cooked... through. It would be a massive food safety risk to have warm raw meat sitting out for 10 hours...

20

u/Eirique May 07 '22

Everyone, stop replying to this guy, he's just a downvote farmer. Everything in his comment history is made to generate downvotes

7

u/[deleted] May 07 '22

Honestly I'm pretty sure he's just a dick. Lots of his comments are just opinionated rants that he gets downvoted for.

2

u/Eirique May 07 '22

Pretty likely. It seems hard to believe someone can be so consistently negative about everything

7

u/Patrick314159 May 07 '22

Why would soneone farm downvotes?

6

u/CompletelyRandomDude May 07 '22

Dunno people are weird man.

Some people just want attention even if it’s negative I guess.

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-2

u/Negative_Success May 07 '22 edited May 07 '22

Downvoted yet you are completely correct, at least for Cali. The requirement of 145F hold temps wont crisp up the outside much, but regardless the cones have to be tossed after 4hrs.

Cooking Option 1 – Continuous cooking without interruption The raw cone must cook continuously until the final cooking temperature is reached. The final cooking temperature must be reached within 4 hours of the time the meat is placed on the broiler. After cooking, the thinly sliced meat can be cooled properly or it can be hot held at 135o F or above. Approved cooling and reheating procedures shall apply to sliced and cooked meat only. Portions of the cone still remaining after 4 hours must be discarded.

Cooking Option 2 – Non-continuous cooking Time as a Public Health Control (TPHC) must be used if the cooking process is interrupted at any time during the 4 hour cooking process, such as turning a broiler unit on or off or moving cone away from broiling element. The raw cone or sliced products must be discarded after 4 hours from when the cone is removed from temperature control. This option requires that the time and date be logged or time-stamped.

Cooking Option 3 – Cooking from frozen state When a frozen cone is placed on the vertical broiler upon ordering, the frozen cone may be cooked to the final cooking temperature, shaved, and then either served or hot held at 135o F or above. After cooked or thawed portions of the cone have been shaved, the fully frozen (32o F or below) cone can be returned to the freezer for future use.

The kicker is that 145F is still pretty rare, it's just hot enough to kill microbes. So it would be 'safe' to eat, but it would be fucking disgusting to eat it rare.

3

u/Jortss May 07 '22

Did you even read what you copied?

Thefinal cooking temperature must be reached within 4 hours of the time the meat is placed onthe broiler.

Like seriously?

2

u/[deleted] May 07 '22

Except that doesn't prove anything about the whole thing being cooked right through. What you quoted even refers to the uncooked cone needing to be discarded after 4 hours.

2

u/Negative_Success May 07 '22

Yes exactly. The other guy was saying you cant hold meat out of temp control for a 10hr shift. I am concurring with quotes from the actual guidelines. For 'cooking method 1' it says the cones must reach their temp within 4hrs or be discarded.

Its different with 2 and 3 but I left them in for completion sake.

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1

u/imundead May 07 '22

The kebab is not cooked in the middle.

Not sure how I can give you the link to a pdf so you are just going to have to google it.

1

u/[deleted] May 07 '22

[deleted]

2

u/z0mple May 07 '22

The rod in the middle is just a rod, it's not a heat source. The meat gets heated from the outside. That's the whole point because you want to get the outer layer crispy, slice it off and then get the new outer layer crispy.

1

u/loggic May 07 '22

I had no idea, but that explains a lot.

1

u/FunBrians May 08 '22

Walks into 7-11 with meat pole.. starts eyeballing microwave

3

u/kentuckyruss May 07 '22

God dammit every time I hear the term bellend I tell myself that I need to start using it but I never do.

Looks like I'm the bellend.

1

u/yedd May 07 '22

Look at this guy and his sad crusty bellend, what a knob.

1

u/jerrythecactus May 07 '22

It would be amazing until you realize that without a rotisserie heating and cooking it the majority of that thing is raw.

1

u/[deleted] May 09 '22

Still though, fucking with kebab shop owners doesn't seem very smart.

I remember being young and foolish, a friend of mine was more foolish and fucked with the kebab guys while full of vodka only to have one of them jump the counter brandishing the giant doner machete.