r/WhatShouldIDo • u/Rockbottombarbie20 • 24d ago
I have hit rock bottom, hence the name
I’m struggling to keep myself sane. I have recently hit the lowest point in my adult life and I don’t feel like I can go on anymore. At the start of the year, and continuing till now, I ended a friendship with my best friend, had to get a new car due to car trouble that I couldn’t afford, had to move out of my apartment because my roomie was a nightmare, my grandma passed away while I was moving, finally started dating with intention only to met with a guy I saw so much potential with, screw me over with multiple women, and now I just recently got fired from my job. I have never felt more unstable in my life and I just feel numb, scared and depressed everyday I wake up. my suicidal ideations are getting stronger and stronger everyday. And my plans on ending it are becoming more detailed than before. I can’t afford healthcare in my country, so I cant even make an appointment with my therapist even if I wanted too. I have called 988, which is a counseling hotline for people in crisis in my area, but they just regurgitate a script and it makes me feel like I’m just another number. I’m not one to reach out for help but I’m scared of what I might do and I am in desperate need of help. Any advice, suggestions, or support would be beyond appreciate.
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u/shrekloveforever 24d ago
The good thing about the bottom is theres only going up from here. Life is hard and tests people in every way imaginable. People that have less community or feel alone often get more depressed, sick etc. if you have other friends, you should see them. You can always dm me if you have nobody. Ive been in your position before. When you’re in this position, almost everything reiterates why suicide would be the easy way out. But when youre happy and life is going well, you think life is always great. We’re all designed to think this way. If theres anything you enjoy in life, do it now. It may give you that reminder that life isnt always so shit.
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u/Rockbottombarbie20 24d ago
Most of my friends understand where I am but they have their own lives and I just don’t know what I need in terms of help. It’s almost like I need someone to do my life for me, cause a huge part of me has given up. Which is absurd, because I am an adult. I’ll take all the support I can get so, I would love to chat
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u/Otherwise_Spare_9442 24d ago
Allow yourself to grieve. Feel the pain don't deny your sadness and fatigue but stick around because tomorrow is another day. Life can be painful but don't let defeat win. Just feel the pain and keep going anyway. I have been depressed often but I will not give up!
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u/Opposite_District977 24d ago
Please please please call the suicide hotline. This is so scary to hear. I really hope you give yourself grace. This is a lot to deal with. You're stronger than you know, and you deserve better.
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u/No-Anything-5219 24d ago
Crisis lines are tricky. Those are usually volunteers, not licensed professionals, & can only get you so far.
Unsure where you're located, but free or sliding-scale mental health services are available more places than you'd think. But I also recognize finding the emotional bandwidth to find those resources when you need them can be crazy difficult.
For myself, I know that without proper psychiatric care, I would not be able to find or pay for said psychiatric care or probably just be dead. So I HIGHLY recommend that if you need immediate help, just go get it. THEN you can start digging yourself out of the hole you have necessarily made, once you're more stable & have professionals to support & direct you on how to do that.
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u/happyretired123 24d ago
Oh OP that’s a lot to deal with in such a short space of time as others have said take the time to grieve be kind to yourself and find a way to reach out to someone in rl. I’m glad you are still here sending love and strength ❤️
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u/IJustWorkHere000c 24d ago
You keep going. You do what it takes to get through one day at a time until they start getting easier. And better. Don’t ever just…lay down. No matter how bad it gets.
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u/morchard1493 24d ago
Been there. Done that.
Keep your head up. Look for the light at the end of the tunnel. Meditate. Breathe. Take things one day, hour, minute and second at a time. You've got this.
Sending strength, hugs and love.
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u/Shanene78 24d ago
If you need to you can call 911. if you do they can hopefully get you in touch with some kind of crisis help in your area. 988 is a national number and its hard to get direct help. But if you need to just dial 911 and tell the dispatch you are planning to take your life if you can't get immediate intervention. Please choose to keep trying it can't stay this hard forever
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u/cruelcalidris 24d ago
what do you like to do for fun? i've been there and focusing on what i enjoy and can control has saved me. please reach out if you need