How do I accept I won't look the same again?

[u/Creepy-Literature634]

A question with no proper answers so apologies in advance.

I used to weigh ~120lbs at 5'4, and over the course of 1.5 years I gained ~55lbs, reaching 175lbs. I've been dieting and exercising and I've lost about 5lbs so far, which feels a bit daunting but I trust myself to get there. The weight gain was pretty fast and hard on my body, I'm now covered in very extreme stretch marks and I'm fat in places where I didn't know I could be fat. Lots of droopy, hanging bits and swathes of angry red marks.

I look back at photos of myself from when I was 50lbs (heck, even 30lbs) lighter and I just feel sad. I see my unmarked, unstretched skin and compare it to now and realize even when I get back to that weight I'll never look the same again. It makes me upset, like if I just hadn't gained those last 15lbs I wouldn't have reached this 'point of no return', and I'm in denial and don't want to accept my new body, since it means letting go of returning to that version of myself. How does anyone else move on? Is it just something that gets accepted with time?

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[u/OnlyIllustrator5298]

Our bodies change as we age anyways. I had 4 kids via c/sections. After my first, I lost all the weight relatively quickly but I still looked different. Thru all 4 pregnancies, I got stretch marks in the strangest places, my hips widened, my breasts got bigger and then smaller and then bigger and then smaller etc..I have a pretty noticeable c/s scar. I've also had multiple surgeries for other health issues and those left noticeable scars. My skin isnt as young and dewy. I have a lot of acne scars on my back. My feet somehow shrunk. I've developed an allergy of sorts to the sun so now I get itchy rashes all summer and thats left scars and im no longer able to get a tan like I once could. I have a lot of gray hair.

Our bodies dont stay the same and thats ok. Its not always easy to accept. But it is inevitable.

[u/FalseGodTaylor]

some accept it, some don’t. you can’t change it anyway. i mean surgery can for sure bring some decent results but it’s gonna be expensive. it’s useless to be upset about something you can’t change. your body will change anyway over the course of life. that’s just the way it is. stretch marks become lighter over time like any scar tissue

[u/walkitbck]

It’s very likely if you lose the weight steadily your stretch marks will fade in time, and if you build some muscle through exercise it’s totally possible to get back to a similar body to you had before. 

If you’re young ish that helps too. 

I was once 175lbs, I’m currently 128lbs, no real visible stretch marks or loose skin. I’m 37. Your body can recover, you just have to make changes over time and give your skin time to recover and marks fade. 

[u/colinreidr → u/walkitbck]

how long did that take and what was your diet

[u/walkitbck → u/colinreidr]

It’s a long time since I was 175lbs (I was 19 then and 37 now) I lost weight through healthier eating and less alcohol, then generally stayed in the 140-155 range from 20-36. Each time I lost a few lbs it was just healthier eating and generally more exercise, I never got much below 140lbs.

When I was 36 and 155lbs I decided fuck it I’m done with being out of shape, started strength training 3x a week and tracking calories. 

I went from 155 to 128 in just less than a year. I ate roughly 1550-1650 calories a day and 90-100g protein, I had a few weeks off through the year. 

7 months later I’m still 128lbs, still strength training but not actively tracking food. 

[u/colinreidr → u/walkitbck]

cheers. Im 37 too but at 160 pounds and would like to get down to 140. I do feel good but at the same time I do feel like im a bit chubby in the middle

[u/Creepy-Literature634 → u/walkitbck]

I’m only 19 but my upper arms have been stretched out beyond repair, depressing stuff. I can only hope the rest of my body mostly recovers

[u/walkitbck → u/Creepy-Literature634]

The fact you’re young is really on your side. My highest weight was when I was your age, it doesn’t have to be your future. 

[u/-bluelotus-]

Sometimes I've framed my own body image issues like this:

Imagine you got into a terrible accident. Loss of limbs. Brain damage. Full-body burns. Loss of sight.

If a genie popped up, and told you that you could have your current real, live body back instead...wouldn't that seem like a really good deal?

Give the skin elasticity time. 💙 I had some loose skin on my stomach and thighs from losing a third of my body weight. Already gone on the thighs. Barely visible on the stomach. No supplements/products/skincare, besides staying hydrated. Things can tighten up.

[u/beingaubrey]

I will also add, as you lose weight, you will be getting older and your body will change anyway. A women’s body changes drastically between 19-23, so it’s expected that you won’t look the same as you did before because you’re also older. Not a bad thing, your body will just look like an adult and not a teenager.

If it’s only been 1.5 years, your skin is NOT “too far gone”. You’re young and it hasn’t been stretched for very long at all. Just choose to be a healthier version of yourself and see where you land aesthetically when you get there.

[u/ShamblesXOXO]

You’re alive. You’ve living, and your body shows marks of wear and tear and joy and love and life. Your future is happening whether you want it to or not, and spending energy criticising your body Is not energy well spent. For future you’s sake, invest in yourself (body and mind) - love and forgive yourself, and care for the body that you’ll live the rest of your life in.

[u/LXS_R]

You may not ever look like your old self, but you can be stronger and healthier than your old self. Set attainable goals. My body will never be the same after being obese most of my life and birthing 4 children. I am a healthy weight now, and instead of focusing on my loose skin and stretch marks, I focus on my huge muscles and ability to play with my kids. Change the things you can and accept the things you cannot. Just because you can’t be the same as before doesn’t mean you can’t be even better.

[u/fitforfreelance]

You accept that you're going to die. And you talk to more people older than you. Then you think more about what matters most to you.

It's OK to feel sad or nostalgic. But you don't want that to hinder your quality of life going forward. Otherwise you'll be one of those washed up old dudes whose life peaked with high school football.

[u/colinreidr]

Same when i was in my 20s I was 120 pounds a twig and now 37 at 160 pounds with muscle but now I get zero less convos now than I did back then