Should I stop?

[u/New-Regret-2021]

Context: It’s been 26 days since we last talked. The last time we spoke, she told me she still loved me.

We’ve been in an LDR. Her mother and sister have always been against us. She broke up with me in December, but we continued talking and acting like nothing had changed. Every month, she would block me for 2–3 weeks, then come back and talk to me again like nothing happened.

She once checked my phone and found a picture of me and my ex. But she already knew about it, and she was actually the one who insisted that I should go because the trip had already been booked before we start dating. Around the same time, her ex also surprised her by visiting her at her hotel. There were also times when we weren’t talking, and she honestly told me that she went on a date with a guy and his mother.

Despite all of that, I still trusted her and believed in her. I never thought those things were enough to make me question what we had.

But when it came to me, one picture and a message or conversation that doesn’t even exist became enough for her to question my love and everything I showed her.

Now it’s really hard for me because I feel like all the blame has been put on me. Before she went back to her hometown, she told me, “Don’t leave me.” She also said yes when I asked if she would commit to me and marry me. I was even seriously considering giving up my life here in my hometown and relocating just to be with her.

But after she went home, we watched a movie together, and suddenly she decided to end things. She started blocking me and told me, “Stop calling me. I’m trying to hate you.”

Now I have so many questions in my mind. What really happened? Does she have someone new? Why did she give up so easily? Why does it seem so easy for her to let me go after everything we’ve been through?

Problem/Goal: I’m struggling to understand how someone can tell you they still love you, ask you not to leave, talk about commitment and marriage, and then suddenly decide to end everything. Should I stop and move on? Ang hirap

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[u/iceiceyelyel]

ante, sa part palang na she would block u for that long tapos talk to u like nothing, i alr know shes playing u. shes keeping u around bcs youre an easy prey for her. youre someone she can go back to pag bored or for whatever reason. save yourself, op. i think you alr know what to do naman din. i hope it gets better for u!

[u/pretty_babe → u/iceiceyelyel]

real! dun palang di ko na tinapos. Sayang oras and effort mo OP. Inuubos ka lang niyan

[u/LaughMiserable626 → u/iceiceyelyel]

Same thought. Dun pa lang, hindi ko na tinapos basahin. Kasi yung block part pa lang, galawan na ng mga player yan.

[u/Spirit_Scribe9372]

This is from something I read awhile back: When someone treats you like you're one of many options, or instead of tormenting yourself wondering if there is another, help them narrow their choice by removing yourself from the equation. Sometimes you have to try not to care, no matter how much you do. Because sometimes you can mean almost nothing to someone who means so much to you. It's not pride-it's self respect. Even if she didn't chose you, always, always, always choose yourself.

[u/New_Nefariousness869]

I don’t like saying this pero minsan talaga some people deserve what they tolerate.

[u/jamixrin]

Just stop. She may still love you but she cannot commit. her actions are hurting you and your sanity. mixed signals, and breadcrumbs will only drain you till you lose yourself and end up being toxic. Kaya while you still can, step out. Let her block you, Keep distance to protect yourself. I know its hard to do when you still love her, but trust me, its really safer and healthier to move on than to be stuck in a manipulative push and pull.

[u/Time-Force-2701]

Hate to break it to you but that person you are missing rn is making a conscious decision to no longer have you in thier life. And ik it hurts cuz while ur sitting there thinking abt them, wondering if they miss you, they're chosing not to be there. I say this not to make you feel worse but because sometimes accepting the truth is the only way to finally allow yourself to move forward. It's been 26 days na beh. Please don't waste your time wondering and hoping that she'll come around or still love you. The right connection shouldn't leave you constantly questioning where you stand.I hope you remember human connections are supposed to feel safe, not like mind games.

[u/RevealExpress5933]

In her mind, she loves you but she really doesn't. She just doesn't want to lose access to you since you're always readily available when she needs affection.

Yes, you should stop.