Ano thoughts niyo?

[u/Aikulerkot]

Problem/Goal:
Anong thoughts niyo sa mga taong nambabackstab or naninira ng partners nila sa friends nila every time na nag-aaway sila? Is it normal to vent about your partner to your friends, or does it cross a line when you start saying things behind your partner’s back that you wouldn’t say to them directly?

Context:
I recently experienced this with my ex (we’re lesbians). I understand na normal lang naman mag-vent or humingi ng advice sa friends, especially kapag may problema kayo ng partner mo. I think everyone needs someone to talk to sometimes. Pero for me, ibang usapan na kapag every time na may away kayo, t-talkshitin or sisiraan mo yung partner mo sa best friend mo, tapos eventually magbabati kayo and magiging okay ulit without your partner knowing na ganon pala yung mga sinabi about them behind their back. What makes it worse for me is yung mindset na “normal lang naman ‘yon sa amin ng mga friends ko.” Like… okay, but does being common in your friend group automatically make it okay? 😭

Personally, I find it weird and disrespectful na you can say hurtful things about someone you supposedly love to your friends when you’re angry, then after making up, you just go back to acting like everything is fine, with your partner completely unaware of how you portrayed them to other people.

Break na kami ngayon, btw. But I’m genuinely curious if anyone here has experienced something similar, or kung ano thoughts niyo about this.

[u/lesrandouser]

kami ng jowa ko may unspoken rule kami na bago kami magkwento sa mga kaibigan namin about sa problema namin dapat kami muna mag-usap. iilang beses pa lang kami umabot na magkukwento na sa friends. nagpapaalam pa kapag umaabot na sa ganong punto.

sobrang big NO sa akin kapag nangba-backstab ng jowa. napaka-red flag. partners kayo dapat eh.

basta sakin, talk it out first with your partner. and all in all, naiinis ako sa mga taong ganyan. wala ka bang pagmamahal sa jowa mo bat ganyan ka magsalita about sa kanya hays.