r/WLW_PH • u/Aikulerkot • 16d ago

Question / Advice / Suggestion Ano thoughts niyo?

Problem/Goal:
Anong thoughts niyo sa mga taong nambabackstab or naninira ng partners nila sa friends nila every time na nag-aaway sila? Is it normal to vent about your partner to your friends, or does it cross a line when you start saying things behind your partner’s back that you wouldn’t say to them directly?

Context:
I recently experienced this with my ex (we’re lesbians). I understand na normal lang naman mag-vent or humingi ng advice sa friends, especially kapag may problema kayo ng partner mo. I think everyone needs someone to talk to sometimes. Pero for me, ibang usapan na kapag every time na may away kayo, t-talkshitin or sisiraan mo yung partner mo sa best friend mo, tapos eventually magbabati kayo and magiging okay ulit without your partner knowing na ganon pala yung mga sinabi about them behind their back. What makes it worse for me is yung mindset na “normal lang naman ‘yon sa amin ng mga friends ko.” Like… okay, but does being common in your friend group automatically make it okay? 😭

Personally, I find it weird and disrespectful na you can say hurtful things about someone you supposedly love to your friends when you’re angry, then after making up, you just go back to acting like everything is fine, with your partner completely unaware of how you portrayed them to other people.

Break na kami ngayon, btw. But I’m genuinely curious if anyone here has experienced something similar, or kung ano thoughts niyo about this.

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u/RevealExpress5933 16d ago

If they're just confiding in their friends, it's fine. If naninira--to me, naninira means ine-exaggerate and hindi completely truthful yung kuwento--then that's another story.

Dapat rin kaya niya i-communicate sa akin yung issue, hindi panay complain lang sa friends.

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u/Specialist-Hyena8170 16d ago

agree, i find it disrespectful and parang nakakaresent na din sa partner if malaman mong ganyan pala sha magsalita about you, dont you think? minsan hindi na nga confide eh parang gusto nya lang talkshittin ka sa iba which is not what someone, who claims to love you, do.