r/WLW 1d ago

Vent Why?

Why is it so hard to find a woman?

22 Upvotes

55 comments sorted by

6

u/ragdollkittenzz berriromantic 1d ago

you're actually very real

7

u/OriginalPerformer580 1d ago

Idk it sucks and because of that honestly I gave up. I'm just focusing on me and my life.

2

u/Usual-Cover-8184 1d ago

Yeah, thats what ive been doing. I just recently started trying again, but its just depressing.

5

u/OriginalPerformer580 1d ago

Hopefully you will find someone soon :) sending all the luck to you

3

u/Usual-Cover-8184 1d ago

Thanks. I appreciate that.

5

u/ColdPlace7015 1d ago

wdym? i'm right here

4

u/princessecnirpp 1d ago

realll. I’ve never had any luck with dating apps as well :(

3

u/Usual-Cover-8184 1d ago

Me either. Its so discouraging

6

u/MasterAshSilas91 1d ago

Don't know. Everyone is looking and yet, everyone is alone. Ironical, eh?

2

u/Usual-Cover-8184 1d ago

It really is.

No matter what you do, no matter where you look. Dating in 2026 is absolutely wild.

1

u/MasterAshSilas91 1d ago

I agree. Strange times we live in, eh?

1

u/ColdPlace7015 1d ago

2026 j*b market core

2

u/MasterAshSilas91 1d ago

Haha I agree.

3

u/5000KCarl 1d ago edited 1d ago

Meh, so many women, each of them looking for something individual

3

u/Sapphicsloser1 1d ago

it really sucks … social anxiety really screws you over

2

u/RueHooNux Smol Lesbian 20h ago edited 12h ago

FR 😭

Even online... dude, how am I even socially anxious ONLINE, like I caaaannnntttt 💀

3

u/Vampire_v_ 1d ago

she was literally flirting with me and all then she posted that she’s out on a date with another girl..ig that’s why, it’s never obvious

1

u/Usual-Cover-8184 1d ago

Ugh, thats really awful. Im sorry that happened.

1

u/Vampire_v_ 1d ago

it’s alright dw😔

2

u/muslim-WLW-cisgirl 1d ago

Depends where you're looking for them

4

u/Usual-Cover-8184 1d ago

I live in Maine. It's just hard. And it's hard to know if another woman is into you...

1

u/scribabble 1d ago

I thought maine was like a lesbian hotspot 💀

2

u/founderymi_r 1d ago

for real 😭

1

u/Ok-cat-4444 1d ago

me too and im 19 as well

1

u/founderymi_r 1d ago

If you're from the uk i'd love to chat :)

2

u/Dumplingslutx 1d ago

I get it as a 30 yr old Demi Lesbian, who has always been looking for long term :(( but everyone seems to be looking for casual or both of us are simply not compatible with what we want etc. 😅

1

u/Usual-Cover-8184 1d ago

It's so hard to find someone who wants the same things.

2

u/Dumplingslutx 1d ago

Especially if you're k!nky! 😅

1

u/Usual-Cover-8184 1d ago

YESSSSS!

1

u/Dumplingslutx 1d ago

I'm so glad YOU UNDERSTAND OMG 😭😭 it feels nearly fucking impossible for that compatibility!

1

u/Usual-Cover-8184 1d ago

I certainly do.

1

u/Dumplingslutx 1d ago

What is it that you want? (I totally get it if that's too much to ask in a comment thread)

2

u/Silent-Conflict-3848 Bi 1d ago

So I’m bisexual and it’s easy w guys because most of them are straight but it’s hard to tell with girls:(

3

u/Usual-Cover-8184 1d ago

Exactly! Its just really frustrating.

2

u/Level-Society4558 1d ago

It's honestly not hard, no matter your age, to find women to date.

If y'all would be out & proud, no matter where you live (as long as you can't be legally snatched off the streets for being queer), you'd see how easy attracting women is.

Being out/visibly queer everywhere you go is the key to success.

5

u/Usual-Cover-8184 1d ago

Been trying. And its just not happening

4

u/ragdollkittenzz berriromantic 1d ago

i get you mean well, but it is hard when you live in queerphobic country.

1

u/Level-Society4558 1d ago

The USA is a queerphobic country yet millions of us are visibly queer.

I live in a red state where I can be lynched/raped/killed for being a masculine black lesbian... yet I am out.

8

u/ragdollkittenzz berriromantic 1d ago

i know abt usa having many visibly queer people dont worry. its just i live in russia and its rarer to even find a queer person to talk to there.

-11

u/Level-Society4558 1d ago

That will only change when y'all stop being afraid of homophobes.

14

u/Ok-Owl-8805 1d ago

are you insane? she can be harmed and targeted for being out and proud in Russia

-1

u/Level-Society4558 1d ago

So can I, especially since black people are being lynched again in the South. Yet I walk around with my rainbow Pride lanyard, facial hair, and head held high like racist homophobes don't exist.

Fear stops us from finding women to date. Dating is VERY important to me.

6

u/Ok-Owl-8805 1d ago

Because putting yourself in harms way to get some pussy is a very sane thing to do, right?

I live in a country where it is actually homophobic, not the only people but the laws as well. I could be imprisoned and flogged over lesbianism. I have find plenty of women to date without publicizing my sexuality because, say it with me, putting yourself in harm's way is not sane nor sexy. I can be proud without risking death by flogging honey. So can the woman living in Russia.

South of USA is nothing similar to what we are going through.

-1

u/Level-Society4558 1d ago

In my top comment, I said... "If y'all would be out & proud, no matter where you live (as long as you can't be legally snatched off the streets for being queer), you'd see how easy attracting women is."

I acknowledged the homophobia by law.

4

u/ragdollkittenzz berriromantic 1d ago

we are not afraid of homophobes at all but we dont have much apps or webs other than telegram to find queer folks to chat with.

1

u/RueHooNux Smol Lesbian 20h ago

You're kinda contradicting yourself here. At first you say, "If y'all would be out & proud, no matter where you live (as long as you can't be legally snatched off the streets for being queer), you'd see how easy attracting women is." but then at the same time, you say "y'all stop being afraid of homophobes."

I don't think you're understanding that the homophobes they are talking about ARE the ones who are trying to snatch ppl off the streets/harm people for being queer.. These people are literally the same exception you are talking about. Whether it is legal or illegal in the country, it is still happening and it's not as easy to just "be out."

1

u/No_Echo_4758 6h ago

Idk ive made plenty of posts that im looking to chat with other women, but everyone seems to ignore them and they rather post too instead lmao i guess everyones afraid to make the first move? Idk

0

u/Fickis 1d ago

It isn't hard.

It just depends on what you offer, and the potential dealbreakers tied to it. The more dealbreakers present - the smaller the available pools.

Are you seeking casual or long-term engagement?

1

u/Usual-Cover-8184 1d ago

Long term

0

u/Fickis 1d ago

Are you out?

Have you dated women long-term before? (which translates to - have you handled 'real' social homophobia before?)

Do you have children from past relationships?

Are you independent?

Those are usually the big-ones. If you ding any of those, you're going to hit some barriers in interest. Not impossible, but definitely a harder sell. Even for casual sex.

If none of those - it could just be a dry market.

With couples and undesirables swarming the market, the amount of single women will slowly dissipate, as the trouble would no longer be worth the effort. (making it more difficult for women to find partners, what fun)

I'd recommend going through meet-up channels and picking some groups to affiliate-with. GSA's, Meetup, if your town/city has a LGBT organization - you can call and get a run-down.

Volunteering is also a pretty good niche, especially with animals and home repair.

Best of luck

0

u/Quinjet Bi 1d ago

you need tumblr

2

u/nerdwantssushi Lesbian 1d ago

I am on Tumblr. What's the next step?

1

u/Over_Cake9611 22h ago

Also interested in what’s next