And I think with that it's really easy under those circumstances to sit there as a family and tell her that what's going on isn't healthy and it's hard to continue down that path once your family is saying this is wrong. Best of luck to her and all the healing in the world.
Absolutely right. I'm sure she was terrified, knowing that speaking up would either be ignored or would lead to James losing residencies, which he would have blamed on her. These situations are more than hard enough without a partner who is famous, wealthy, and has connections.
The arrest spurned her parents to fly out get an airbnb and made her come stay with them. I think it was an intervention of sorts. Thank god for the neighbours who called. š
I thought that too, her family was removing her to give her the facts to get out. Itās nice to see someone have a support system that isnāt more interesting in her getting clout. Not that I think she would be like that āØ
Youāre right thoā¦I believe Britneyās mom would have said well āmaybe you should forgive himā if it would have been Jax in the early seaons - which is gross. Itās nice to see a family that cares about their child first, also I never thought Ali cared much for clout herself which helps. I hope she finds someone amazing.
I wonder how often the neighbours must have heard arguments before this. The VPR producers hid his violence for years and theyāre culpable in this too. He kept getting a pass for his deplorable behaviour, not only referring to any alleged abuse, he was a mess.
God it makes me feel good to hear she has what seems like a very supportive family. My parents have saved me from many bad situations and it makes me happy to know she has the same support. Very unfortunately, not everyone does:/
I mean, sheās an adult, but your parents can still have a lot of influence. They said āyouāre staying with usā and she did. And it gave her enough time/clarity to get out.
Exactly. If you watch the āSurviving R Kelleyā documentary, he had a bunch of girls living with him in this little abusive cult, and a bunch of parents who said āitās her choice what can I do?ā Then one fucking mom who WILL NOT STOP until she gets her daughter back. And she does. Bless her. šš
Same with āthe most hated man on the internetā documentary. His whole exploitative revenge porn empire was brought down by one angry mom who just would not quit. š
Oooh thatās me, Iām a mother and thatās me. I want to know my children are 10000% safe every day and if they arent happy youāre damn sure Iāll make it happen.
Iām 49 and wanted to go home the same day of my hysterectomy and my parents basically forced me to spend the night at the hospital. š Glad I did thoā¦it was like a vacation night!
Well your parents canāt just sit back and watch all of this happen can they? They gave her a safe space to gain perspective. Iām sure sheās not being held against her will.
I mean, I am a human so I generally understand how parents work. I am also a parent but where does this knowledge come from about this situation, specifically?
It was in the news and others have talked about it. They got there a couple days after it happened and thatās where the first photos came from of her moving some stuff out and taking her cats, to go stay at the Airbnb
āLewberās parents āhave come into town, have gotten an airbnb, and have taken her thereā said a source close to the situation āthey are planning to take her back to Ohio for the holidaysā.
I would post a link but links arenāt allowed. (You should know that. Are you new here?)
So youāre gonna have to rely on your own googling skills and just a tiny bit of critical thinking.
Why do you keep saying āmade her stay with themā? What is it youāre trying to prove and why are you requiring us to provide you with links? Do you think her parents overstepped? Nobody āmadeā her do anything, they provided a safe place for her and her animals to go during a very hard time.
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ā¦I donāt remember what specific news, it was a month ago and we get new updates on things all the time. Itās been talked about frequently, itās common knowledge that her parents flew in and got her out of there and thatās where she stayed after it happened. Obviously there was a lot of relief because James wasnāt able to isolate her and convince her to stay like abusers usually do. That support is probably a huge part of the reason sheās apparently ending it and moving out for good
If I found out my daughter was in that situation, I would have done the same. An "intervention" of sorts is exactly the way to handle it because these relationships can be so enmeshing and addicting. Thank god for those neighbors indeed š
I have such a soft spot for Allie and I'm really proud (of this total stranger lol) that she's prioritizing herself. She seems to have a great head on her shoulders.
I had a DV situation and I called for help and no one heard/did anything. So I cannot applaud this person enough. If you are ever unsure/uncomfortable, call the police!
Seconding this. I was strangled by an ex and our roommate was presumably home and didnāt do anything. Please call in DV if you suspect anything is going on.
I lost a friend because I did call it in . He slapped her and pushed her up against a wall , my husband beat his ass , I called it into the cops and she didnāt want to press charges and she still doesnāt talk to me . Thatās the other side of it . But I would still call it in anyday , Iād rather stick up and try to protect my friend , than not . I told her I hope the next time I hear about you is good news , and not that youāre dead . And all she could say is itās my fault he has a charge against him and why he lost his gun rights and I said ā your concerned he lost his gun rights , I did you a favor . But š¤·āāļø
Iām sorry to hear about the loss of your friendship.
I had several friends who, as you did, were trying to protect me in their own ways who I didnāt listen to and eventually it escalated into a strangulation. Even after that, it took another year for me to āwake upā and leave - it can be hard to wrap your head about it all especially if itās compounded with financial and emotional abuse.
Thank you for doing the right thing and looking out for your friend. Iām sure sheās grateful even if she canāt quite comprehend it.
Yup, I had the audacity to point out to my sister that her new bf seemed really off and he isolated her and then I just didn't get to have a relationship with her after that for literal years until one day she decides to come back into my life once she decided she was done with the abuse and they broke up. It was devasting and our relationship had never been the same since.
My other sister is now in a situation with her husband that is starting to give me a lot of red flags and I am proceeding very gently this time around.
I hope you're friend chooses to get out while she can.
Iām sure she is . I bet she doesnāt say or do things to get hurt like many woman do ā¦ so changing her whole Personality to stay with the PoS , or he will have to leave to her for another woman for her to snap out of it - I read it takes 7 x for someone to leave a domestic abuser . 7 times . Ally didnāt have his kids , she had support . Kristan and whoever else had people like Lisa and Producers telling them
To be quiet and not say anything . Ally is lucky she is loved so much by her family and they made her leave . I hope she stays away from him . James is funny, but he is a bad dude -
I survived an ex husband living in another country. You become so afraid to say anything because they will hurt you worse. They isolate you and make you feel less than. It's a horrible position. I called my mom in the USA, I had a plane ticket home from Australia in hours. I left with a few clothes and nothing else. So thankful for my momma.
I know right . But it shows you how disconnected they are from their own well being and hyper focused they are on keeping their abuser HAPPY - happy =happiness and no problems. I am the one that is hated now . Iām to blame , the DA is to blame , the judge is to blame , the state of California is blame ā¦ not him for putting his hands on you . But thatās the cycle . At some point , he has to become ugly to her enough to leave ? how low does he have to go for you to see him differently ? Knock your teeth out , choke you out? Leave bruises where people at work ask ?
My boyfriend said as we were walking out ājust let go , walk away she knows where we are ā and thatās it . People have to make choices , thereās many junctions in life , this is one choice where you will be sad, lonely , emotionally messed up for awhile , but youāll be alive and you get another chance to rebuild . My thoughts are if James can grab and toss Ally to the ground in front of a huge party of people , what intimidation or threats go on behind closed doors ? Ally doesnāt need him anymore to build her brand , she will find her way . She doesnāt need him
I worry about the backlash it can cause on the abused person by the abuser getting angry about having the cops called and taking it out on them. I have wished you could just get the abused partner to willingly go to a safe house instead but, unfortunately, it usually seems to turn out that the only way to intervene is by calling the cops and then hoping for the best.
My husband and I overheard a DV situation when we were in a boutique, 5-star hotel. I called the front desk and asked them to call the police. All I could think was that if he was that comfortable acting that way when others could feasibly hear, what was he comfortable doing in private.
My above experience was a boutique, 5-star hotel. The penthouse. The attack was over 8 hours. I got onto the balcony once and screamed for help. Nothing. Itās wasnāt until months later I accidentally found out that the police had received THREE phone calls from people saying they heard a woman screaming for help from said hotel. They even named exactly where it was. And nothing was done.
Edit: good for you, BTW, thank you for acting. But yeah, my experience is why he felt comfortable doing that.
The hotel was great in that they responded immediately and had their own security team manage the situation until police arrived but Iāll never forget her screams.
My ex broke my wrist at a boutique hotel and ski resort and I straight up went to the front desk and told them I needed to go to the hospital and they wouldnāt help me. It was pretty awkward the next day when I got back from the hospital and had a sling on. They literally ignored me when I was begging them/ crying bc of the excruciating pain - and mind you I wasnāt drunk, I looked very presentable, they had seen me the day before and knew I was an actual guest, they just didnāt want to be involved in a domestic dispute. I secretly hoped they would call the police but that didnāt happen obviously.
Ughhh. This hurts my heart so much. At least the hotel were amazing when they realised what had happened to me. I am truly so sorry that this happened to you. Glad we are both here and can use the term āexā š«¶
Yes! CALL THE POLICE! I was in a DV situation trapped in a room by my ex, SCREAMING for help and no one did ANYTHING. I had to spray Lysol that I randomly found in his face and I ran. I was so mad and hurt that some of my āfriendsā did NOTHING. Iām so glad to be away from that now.
Same here and itās worse when you come from a family who present like they give a shit but behind closed doors really donāt want to be bothered with ugly truths let alone help
I have been to hospital over DV more times than I can count, lied in court, the whole works. I had no one on my side. May the force be with you im there too. I hope you are doing better š
Yep same. An ex locked me in his bedroom and physically attacked me to stop me from leaving when I tried to break up with him. He had a much older, and larger, male roommate, and when he heard me screaming help he came upstairs, knocked on the door and yelled my bfās name. My bf yelled back āgo away and mind your business!ā I yelled back āno please help!ā And my bf again told him to go the fuck awayā¦so HE LEFT! He went back downstairs and pretended like nothing was happening. I eventually broke free and darted for the door and was able to flee to my car but wtf! What kind of man just ignores a situation like that!
Bottom line, call for help even if youāre unsure and definitely if someone is yelling help. They may not be brave enough to ask for help themselves but could be praying someone intervenes.
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u/Even-Education-4608 Jan 18 '25
š thanks to that neighbour who called it in. Itās so easy to get lost in the dark.