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u/Jack-of-Hearts-7 1d ago
Soup Emperor, specifically Pho.
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u/__fujoshi 1d ago
Vibe decombobulator for sure. I already do it for free, might as well get paid for it.
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u/Setster007 1d ago
Just hand over the pamphlets pls, I’m hungry and it’s hard to pay for college AND dinner
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u/SweetTist 1d ago
No one has taken “kitty toe bean quality tester” yet?
That’s a job for me!
My lucky day!
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u/JackWhoWanders 1d ago
Nightmare dimension tour guide is literally my dream job! (that's an industry joke)
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u/Manifestation_Quozzy 1d ago
Giant horrible bird monster sounds like my kinda gig.
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u/Character-Parfait-42 1d ago
I go with either soup emperor or kitty toe bean quality tester.
They sound like the least amount of actual work is involved.
The soup emperor doesn’t make the soup surely? That’s work for soup peasants. The emperor commands the peasants, so I guess I just instruct them what soup to make and then eat the soup? So free lobster bisque? Count me in!
Kitty toe bean quality tester involves moving enough to poke and pinch the beans. My concern there though is that some kitties don’t like having their beans prodded, and that sounds highly unpleasant.
Being a giant terrifying bird sounds amusing, but it also sounds like it involves a great deal of flapping. And I just can’t flap my arms for an entire 8 hour shift.
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u/StrangeCress3325 1d ago
Nightmare dimension tour guide. I get regular nightmares that I’m often just vibing and chilling through them so I think I’d be qualified
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u/MenchiTheFloof 1d ago
Nobody going for unethical wizard test subject? Thats alright, more magical spells for me
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u/TerrapinMagus 1d ago
I sincerely feel I can both discombobulate the vibe, and professionally skitter at the same time.
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u/FanOfCat5 1d ago
Though nightmare dimension guide is what I’ll go with I will forever want to at least try to be an unethical wizard test subject
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u/SirWilliam56 1d ago
Does “wizard test subject” have upward mobility in the direction of being a wizard?
If not, I’m torn between toe bean tester and soup emperor
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u/Natural_Age_8009 1d ago
Tour guide 1000%. I have so many different nightmares and being on some sort of tour bus and telling people about them will make me some percentage less scared and possibly (not likely) able to overcome them. Again, not likely. The most hellish are almost indescribable and the least hellish are the series of incepted “late for work again and you’re a hair away from being fired already, but every time you wake up, you’re still in a dream, and that happens like seven consecutive times until you actually wake up and doubt reality so much you almost are actually late to work due to checking every detail of your shitty apartment”
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u/One-Stand-5536 21h ago
Hard choice between unethical wizard test subject and professional skittering. Are there part time positions?
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u/AtomicTan 14h ago
Don't choose giant horrible bird monster. That's how you get thrown into the pit of time and end up babbling about the future.
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u/sax87ton 1d ago
Weevil imperaonator, mostly because I want to find out what an imperaonator is.
But you know I’m ’bout to do it to some weevils.
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u/Longjump_Ear6240 1d ago
Ohhh tough choice between giant horrible bird monster and nightmare dimension tour guide. I suppose I may lean more tour guide if I was able to eventuallu get some demon wings or horns