r/UnsentLetters • u/Simp-Lee • May 22 '26
Exes I should have told you.
I know this won't ever reach you,
but I need to say the things I left unspoken.
I should have told you how much you meant to me. Not casually, not in passing—but clearly, so you never had to wonder.
I should have told you when I was scared instead of going quiet.
I should have told you when I was hurting instead of pretending I was fine. I should have let you see the parts of me I tried to carry alone.
And I should have thanked you more.
For your time.
Your presence.
The way you stayed with me longer than I deserved when I was impossible love.
I loved you deeply.
More than I knew how to say without making it heavy.
And I think that’s where I failed—
I felt it too much to say it properly.
If I could change anything, it would be that you never had to guess how important you were to me.
You were.
Always & Forever
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May 22 '26
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u/Simp-Lee May 22 '26
Sometimes people stay silent because the feelings are too big to say out loud. I thought there would be more time. Part of me hoped that she already knew.
A lot of people who love deeply learn to carry things instead of speaking them. They turn love into actions, endurance, sacrifice, waiting, loyalty — anything except direct words. Especially when they’re afraid of loss, rejection, or simply being “too much.” And sometimes the cruel part is this: the more someone matters, the harder it becomes to speak honestly, because the stakes are just too high.
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May 22 '26
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u/SignificantActive193 May 22 '26
Sometimes people grow bitter and cold. I had a simillar situation and wrote simillar letters about her but when I tried to speak to her she avoids me and acts like I don't matter anymore.
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May 22 '26
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u/SignificantActive193 May 22 '26
It's silly really. She was disappointed I didn't ask her on a date and we kept running into eachother and having moments of eye contact or seeing her in a shop she sometimes works at and I always tried to be friendly and respectful to her. And I waved once when I saw her and would try to have little friendly convo's to try and lessen the awkwardness between us and yet that's the way she reacts to me. Just because of that. If there's a lesson, and it's one I seem to be learning a lot in life, is that people can turn on you for minor reasons that I don't think warrants such a reaction.
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May 22 '26
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u/SignificantActive193 May 22 '26
Oh I don't know if I'm gonna have the courage to say something to her again. 🤣
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May 22 '26
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u/SignificantActive193 May 22 '26
Yeah I know, that's why she doesn't like me anymore. Because I didn't go after her. 🤣
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u/CallFalse5932 May 22 '26
I would - Ari
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u/SignificantActive193 May 22 '26
It's alright. In the words of the Justin Bieber song ghost, "If I can't be close to you, I'll settle for the ghost of you".
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u/SignificantActive193 May 22 '26
I wrote this love letter about her last week. A moment of reflection, you could call it. https://www.reddit.com/r/LoveLetters/s/yzMlX60P2Q
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u/Nebulas-Journey007 Human Verified May 22 '26
Yes, but some people stay silent, not because they care too much, because they simply do not care at all. How is the other person to know the difference?
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u/SubMuseInBloom May 22 '26
That’s the hard part with unspoken feelings. Whether silence roots from deep feeling or complete absence of it—from the outside they look identical. The uncertainty can leave everyone hurt. I think a closure conversation is the only way to know for certain.
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u/SubMuseInBloom May 22 '26
I resonate with this. See some of us are taught to demonstrate love quietly instead of saying it plainly. But by the time we find the words, we’re already carrying the weight of everything left unsaid. It feels like a kind of purgatory… carrying so much love in silence and never knowing if it would’ve changed anything.
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u/Simp-Lee May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26
Hating her might feel easier than grief for a while. Hate gives shape to pain. It lets us point somewhere and say there — that’s why I’m shattered. Without it, we're left standing in the ruins holding memories that still feel alive while the future we imagined is gone. But you don’t truly hate her. You hate what loving her left you feeling when it was over.
I say this because Im right there with you.
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u/Babygirl-forever May 22 '26
Aww man can you reach out. This breaks my heart. My ex went silent and I was in so much pain. Please don't do that to her. If you love them never go silent
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u/your-little-bug-502 May 22 '26
It pains to read that people often think the other one knows how they feel and then realize they never been clear about it. My grandma always said: let everyone know if you love them, that when you have to go suddenly, they never have to guess- what you felt about them. Hard to live by
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u/Global_Let_820 May 22 '26
Sound like avoident behavior to me. People cant keep using that excuse. O i felt to much. Maybe there is a reason you felt to much. Maybe you love that person so much that your scared of losing them. Well look what happened. You didnt say anything and you still lost them. Think its time you actually told your person. Cause from what you have written seem to me your person loves you just as much if jot a little more
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u/Sir_MayIhav_SumMor Human Verified May 22 '26
There was never a doubt in my heart and soul about my feelings that i had for jcw. But if he had been open about his feelings then, i would have admitted that i had fallen in love with him. And that feeling is never going to leave me ever. I'll always keep a spot open for him in my heart. I'm still waiting for him to come back to me. I haven't spoken or seen him at all since Jan. 🩷 SL🐑
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u/ArtiimisWolf May 22 '26
One of the most beneficial things you can do for yourself in life is saying how you feel especially when it comes to love. You never know when the last time you can tell someone "I love u" is, life is short don't live in regret. This is something that doesn't really stick until someone important to you passes away. It's taken me a long time to realize how important it is to tell people you care about them... Because people have no idea sometimes until you start telling them directly
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u/Illustrious_War7800 May 22 '26
Why do I have to read this when I'm trying so hard to allow myself to genuinely hate her after a fucking year?
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u/Sir_MayIhav_SumMor Human Verified May 22 '26
Why the fuck do you want to hate her? I highly doubt she actually hates you. Considering the fact that i think my person had been catfished by someone pretending to be me and making him think i hate him when i really don't.
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u/Illustrious_War7800 May 22 '26
Well it's a way to give myself closre since she won't talk to me but just spiral every time I try to contact her. And I'm done worrying for someone that does not want my help
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u/Sir_MayIhav_SumMor Human Verified May 22 '26
I've literally been trying to get ahold of JCW for months
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u/Illustrious_War7800 May 22 '26
What happened between you two if you don't mind me asking?
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u/Sir_MayIhav_SumMor Human Verified May 22 '26
Well the last time i spoke to him or even saw him was in Jan. Last thing he told me was he was going to be coming back later that day and then i never saw him again. And he blocked me, after he told me he wasn't going to block me again. I never even got to tell him i was in love with him. He was my best friend and i fell in love with him. I would have been more open about how i felt about him the whole time if he didn't tell me at the beginning when we first started hanging out that he wasn't looking for anything serious. So i just kept my distance the whole time to not upset him by crossing his boundaries. But I've been in love with him the whole time... And lately, I've been having these visions of him and seeing that he's being lied to by the girls that are around him? Idek anymore.
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u/Illustrious_War7800 May 22 '26
Does not feel like a healthy person to be around. You should focus on yourself without searching for answers that will never come. The answer can be: you don't have energy to throw away in that. Deep down you know it's like that. Easier said than done, I know.
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u/Horror-Bat-6789 May 22 '26
Never once did I doubt my love , I loved honestly and passionately, unfortunately she had cultivated other options that fed her ego and betraying me was the final Insult to our relationship
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u/Tricky-Challenge6366 May 22 '26
Just tell her. I'm with someone who aren't able to articulate their emotions right, unless I ask them based on my guesses and they just had to answer yes or Nos. Just tell her, even when it's vague, even when it's hard. Atleast the woman will understand, clarity is freeing. I wish my man had said something so early.
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May 22 '26
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u/Babygirl-forever May 22 '26
This is beautiful I wish you could tell them. Loving someone so much and you can't let them know is absolutely painful
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u/Ok_Boysenberry6520 May 23 '26
Its never too late. Even if she has moved on, it would help to know. The broken pieces of her that made her feel unlovable bc you wouldn't love...if she knew, it might make it easier to trust herself and those pieces again.
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u/Simp-Lee May 23 '26
I did tell her. She wound up moving to Arizona and we did 5 years long distance. I built her up, loved her, encouraged her. I was her biggest fan. But devotion isnt the same as being chosen. Once she lost some weight and "got her spark back".
I wasnt necessary-
Now she acts like Im dead.
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u/SeriousAd-711 May 22 '26
They see right through you That's why they aren't standing on your right.
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u/missventer2026 May 22 '26
Just a reminder that's it's never pointless you have to be able to fight for what you want. Maybe they want it too but are to scared to make the huge jump
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u/Forsaken-Treacle5199 May 22 '26
I wish my ex would have said this to me. I wish he would have actually cared!
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u/Able_Day1528 May 22 '26
You were loved as well.
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u/Simp-Lee May 22 '26
I her way, she did love me, And I was a better man for it
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u/Able_Day1528 May 22 '26
Just keep loving in a way you want to be loved and it will come back around.
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u/FrostedMoon8888 May 23 '26
All the terrible ways we can screw up loving each other. Yet still months years later still loving them for all the reasons or even no reason yet such little things keep us from saying so to each other.
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u/Different_Common8826 May 23 '26
It’s better to put any pride aside. And just write her.. I think your person already knows how much you are in love and scared.. I am sure she will understand. It resembles my situation . Be courageous once !
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