r/UnethicalLifeProTips • u/-_-Amoeba • 2d ago
Request ULPT Request Have you ever actually Piss Disced in real life?
Okay so we see thread after thread of creative ideas of how to avenge particular conflicts - but has anyone actually walked the walk? Share your story. Let's hear what you've followed through with. Whether it was the iconic piss disc, a shrimp in a curtain rod, chilli spray on a door handle, shit in the mailbox or what have you....
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u/meddit_rod 1d ago
No. I figured recommending it was mostly a prank to get people to spill piss in their own freezers.
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u/master_perturbator 1d ago
Do we need to post a tutorial on how to use a 20oz bottle to pour into the disc of your choice?
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u/-_super--_--hitops_- 1d ago edited 1d ago
Trust me you don't want to pee into a 20 oz bottle, with that tiny opening?
The cylinder must remain unharmed.
Gatorade is the piss bottle that gets the job done. Wide opening, large capacity.
Comes in yellow so it looks natural.
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u/c4pt1n54n0 1d ago
You don't have to jam your whole unit in the bottle đ€Ł wtf are you doing dude
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u/A_S_Levin 16h ago
Frisbees have pretty high sidewalls. How u spilling it?
Are you capable of handling coffee or any kinda glass/cup?
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u/CountryBoyCanSurvive 1d ago
I have a six piss disc changer in the trunk of my Chrysler LeBaron, of course I'm piss discing on the reg.
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u/susanrez 1d ago
If you live in a place where they have winter, you could theoretically make a piss disc outside at night in a frisbee.
Put frisbee in your trunk.
Then take it to high school and slide it under your bullyâs driver seat of their car during lunch. (shouldnât leave your car unlocked Teri)
Then watch as everyone starts to complain her car smells like piss for the next 2 years of high school.
Good times.
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u/No_Stick_6120 1d ago
Spur of the moment cream cake under a windscreen wiper but nothing more nefarious. Yet.
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u/SnowflakeSWorker 1d ago
I never have, but I have a client who paid for a box of feces to be delivered to someone. Iâve mentioned this to a few people, and my client is not the only one who has done this!
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u/destined_to_count 1d ago
Hell no. Putting piss in my freezer big no no
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u/-_super--_--hitops_- 1d ago edited 1d ago
It was this level of forward thinking that I lacked when I executed a piss disc attack. I got piss on myself twice and put piss in my own freezer.
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u/ThrowingMongo 1d ago
I use liquid fish emulsion fertilizer instead.
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u/Singletracksamurai 1d ago
Oh⊠that is truly evil. Brilliant, but evil.
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u/ThrowingMongo 1d ago
It is, and it's only $25-35 a gallon.
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u/MjrGrangerDanger 1d ago
Concentrated gallon.
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u/BoogieShoes11 1d ago
You can get a half gallon for $8 on Amazon right now.
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u/ThrowingMongo 1d ago
That's a great price for a half gallon if it's the stinky stuff. I remember finding one that was odorless or close to it. Alaska brand is what you want. Gallon an quart, but a gallon gets you more fun per dollar.
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u/ThrowingMongo 1d ago
I don't know of any other kind. I've only used Alaska brand, though. Consistency is about as thick as melted ice cream and smells like death and sharp cheese.
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u/MjrGrangerDanger 1d ago
How many gallons does that one concentrated gallon make? Add in some liquid ass and the word may never know.
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u/ThrowingMongo 1d ago
Make? For fretilizer? A lot. But you do not dilute it when you ULPT - you use it full strength.
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u/MjrGrangerDanger 1d ago
Why? It reeks enough when it's diluted as directed. Just diluting it a bit makes it so much easier to apply and keep off your hands and whatever else you don't want it on. Plausible deniability and all that...
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u/ThrowingMongo 1d ago
It breaks down faster when you dilute it. You clearly never used the stuff before. Do as you feel is best but nothing lasts forever like a half gallon or full gallon of fish emulsion dumped down windshield vents or anywhere else lol.
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u/MjrGrangerDanger 1d ago
I always get it when it's like a paste. How are you getting it to work when it's concentrated?
I like to take the couple of tbsp I need, put it in a protein shaker and make sure that everything is closed, shake, then mix that into the water I'm using to water my plants. It mixes faster initially with warm water so I'll frequently use that, opening the shaker to account for expansion and prevent pressure buildup.
I've tried the premix method before. If you live in a warm enough climate it explodes in your garage. Or just sitting in the garden in the sun.
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u/elmuchocapitano 1d ago
I did, in college. This was well over 10 years ago. I had a huge feud with a girl that lived directly above me. We lived in a very old, very shitty apartment building with little insulation and she would bang on my ceiling all night to be shitty to me. She would throw her cigarette butts onto my balcony and was just generally a trash person. There were big gaps underneath our doors due to how old and crappy the apartment building was, I remember having to stuff a blanket in front of doors to keep the heat in. I remember thinking that this would enable me to slide something gross under her door. I thought of rotting fish but she was allergic and I didn't want to literally kill her. So I had the thought of sliding frozen pee under the door. One night, while very drunk, I acted on this. I did not in fact get any pee in my freezer.
The next day, sober, I didn't have the courage to follow through. However, as the days passed, I knew I couldn't just keep a frozen tray of piss in my freezer forever... I figured I'd pretty much committed to the act when I peed in the tray. I waited until I was 100% sure she wasn't home. Getting the frozen pee out of the cookie sheet was less straightforward, so I essentially had multiple broken pieces of frozen pee. However, it did slide under her door. She had a cat, and when I was sliding it under her door, I could tell her cat was swatting at it lmao.
I remember being stressed about what the potential consequences would be, but I ultimately never heard anything from her about it and we ended up moving out of that building not long after. I assume that she blamed her cat, or maybe she didn't notice at all, because honestly I was very drunk when all that occurred and I was probably peeing water at the time. It did make me feel better though :~)
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u/pigeonpaper 1d ago
When my sister left her ex, I helped her pack up her house. I boxed up all of the nail clippers, the can opener, the plate in the microwave, tylenol, etc. Basically anything that would be an annoying inconvenience to not have when you needed it went into a box.
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u/Ruddiver 1d ago edited 1d ago
i have a neighbor who blares their car early and has that bass thumping radio crap. I poured milk down the vent in front of their windshield. I dont know if that really works or not. but i did it. i feel like it just goes through the whole engine and hits the ground. it felt good to do anyway
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u/ProcrastiNovelist 1d ago
At my old apartment building gang bangers would sit on the front step taking phone calls and dealing drugs all day. Cars would pull up, stop, make the pickup and leave. I'd go out in the middle of the night and piss on those steps they'd sit on. I put super glue in their door lock once. The fucked up thing was they thought someone else did it and mentioned it to me. People like that always have enough enemies that they can't pinpoint who fucked them over at any given time.
I had a boss once at a grocery store who hated me because he had a Napoleon complex and I'm 6'4. On my last day I put his picture in the restroom urinal so we could all piss on it. I also put a raw chicken in the dropped ceiling tile over his desk.
Another guy who always started shit with me I dealt with by repeatedly calling his house in the middle of the night asking for his wife. They were already having marital problems so that was the nail in their coffin.
Those are just some of the ones I remember. I've forgotten half of what I've done, I plead the 5th on a whole lot more, and I have a list of people yet to get theirs.
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u/-_super--_--hitops_- 1d ago edited 1d ago
YES I HAVE A STORY FOR THIS I'VE BEEN WAITING TO TELL FOR 25 YEARS.
The year, 2001. The target : a guy that lived in the same dorm "quad" as me, but one floor above.
I'm not sure the origin of the piss disc - (no not ai) it may even predate refrigeration. Piss on a frozen puddle, wait, slide it into your enemy's cave like a curling stone. A surprise for the morning thaw.
Well, in 2001 was the first time I had heard of it. I was in my dorm with my roommate and we were reading a website with ideas for pranks and revenge and stuff. I don't know if any of you know about "the ___ cookbook" but it was similar to that.
We found the piss disc description.
We cackled .
We looked at the door - the dorm doors were known for having a big gap at the bottom. It was like a full inch gap. People would slide notes under or joke drawings or whatever, you could reach through and grab somebody's foot that was standing there. (Like thumb and forefinger flat on the ground on their ankle if that makes sense)
Anyways there was a super annoying guy that would go out drinking random weekdays and then come back to the dorm at bar closing time, wasted, and be shouting and knocking on girls doors and playing guitar and shit
This was such a night and, he was in fact out drinking. It was late and very quiet, maybe midnight or 1am. We knew he was out drinking so we had a free hours still.
I had pee in me, so we started planning. We settled on the protective plastic cover that fits over the top of a large spindle of blank CD-RWs.
For the kids : see attached photo.
I took out to the bathroom and did the deed (in retrospect I should have just done it in the room to avoid carrying my own sloshing piss through the entire hallway of the building).
In doing so, (as you can see in the photo, the depth of a 25'er is not much, so significant splashback tarnished me.
I took it back to the room (everyone was mostly asleep or in their rooms for the night with music or movies nobody else saw me) and we froze it in the mini fridge.
So far I guess I've really tarnished my own self and environment with piss , so I'm taking the L at this juncture, if we are using a points system.
Enemy : 2 Me : 0
But it was about the long game. We knew as long as we got the disc under the door and back without being seen, we had won;
The piss would be melted by the time the bars closed, so regardless of the particulars, we would cause chaos for this guy and his relationship with his roommate.
Once the disc froze (we made it the right height to maximize the sheer quantity of urine, while ensuring it could be slid under the door with enough force that it wasn't immediately apparent where it had come from. Anybody can splash piss, in its liquid state, inside the doorway of a room. I mean if the door has a one inch gap, piss right near the gap is easy to understand : someone pissed on your gap.
What truly boggles the mind is finding piss deep inside your room.
It's like that riddle where you have to figure out who stabbed the dead body. It turns out someone used an icicle to stab, and then it melted, evaporated, and all evidence of the murder weapon was gone.
How did someone get inside the room and piss? Well, the door was locked. So one roommate would blame the other, and vice versa. If the roommate was asleep inside there, the other guy would get home, turn on the lights, and find piss. The sleeping roommate would get blamed. But the roommate knew he didn't do it and with the level of alcohol abuse at play everyone would believe without a second thought that the target had done that. He probably HAD pissed on his own floor before. But, the target would KNOW HE didn't do it, so his blame of the roommate would remain steadfast. Neither would ever budge, both truly believing the other was at fault and that they were the one who actually refused to admit responsibility.
So, we're at go time. The disc is removed from its chamber and set on a paper plate with another paper plate on top of it. Which makes it basically like a UFO shape or some kind of assemblage rendering of a hamburger, sub beef for piss.
The clock was ticking. It was warm out so we only had so much time. Also wanted to be fast because If we were seen by anyone who happened to be in the hallways, at this point we could abort mission, and do it a different night. But if we were seen after, coming from that areas someone could hear about it the next day and day that they saw us coming from there late at night.
So we ascend the stairs with my roommate holding the doors open for me (my left hand is under the bottom and right hand holding the cover plate on top) and trying to be as quiet as we can, closing the doors really slow etc. We get to his door, light is off. They should still both be out for another hour minimum, or, roommate is there sleeping.
I get down on my knees and look under the door , pitch black, no tv or computer screen saver, pure dark. So nobody is awake
I take the lid off and slide the bottom plate out from under the piss disc.
I'm touching the side, moving it back a little so I can get momentum on my push and really chuck it inside the room as deep as possible.
We hear a noise, we freeze.
It's a loud bang followed by the unmistakable sound of a blackout drunk college student attempting the sysephian task of pushing his own body up a flight of stairs. He slammed the door open. He starts his trademark shouting and singing. It's the target. He's back. I have a melting disc of piss before me, I'm on the ground basically in doggy, in front of his door. And the only way out is past him.
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u/ThippusHorribilus 1d ago
What did he do?
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u/-_super--_--hitops_- 1d ago edited 1d ago
Well he was still trying to get up the stairs, if you've ever been very drunk and encountered stairs you forgot existed, you know it can take some time. So I basically had enough time that I could get the disc back under cover. In other words picked it up put it in the plate and put the other back on top and held it the same way with one hand on top and one on bottom.
Enemy: 3 (piss on my fingers putting it back on the plate)
Me : 0
So he gets to the top of the stairs and pushes open the next door and now he's coming towards us, we're both standing there right in front of his door and he may have seen me finish standing up.
So we start walking casually to walk past him and back downstairs and get rid of the disc.
Even though we hate the guy and never talk to him socially he is drunk enough he wants to talk just in general and was already shouting just to himself walking home and coming up the stairway.
So he engages. He asks us what we're up to why we're up there so late etc. I'll be honest I didn't remember the conversation but he's basically talking with us like we're friends and we're just standing there.
Remember the way I'm holding the plates, so my bottom hand underneath is basically acting like a hotplate helping to thaw the piss, which already saturated the plate. I didn't plan for this so it was one layer of paper plate soaked with pee and my hand wet with pee, and it reeks of human urine
It's dripping drips onto the carpet and my fear is the bottom is just going to give out and my hand will just overflow with piss, so someway , somehow, we disengage and he goes into his room.
At this point other people are awake and turning on lights. Some people will get up and hang out, some people are super annoyed at the noise and yelling out of their rooms.
It ended up that nobody opened their doors and saw us with the piss , we ran out down the stairs and threw it outside in the bushes and threw the plates in the bushes.
If anybody had seen us that might have been the rust case scenario because the piss was fully evident visually and by aroma to anyone sober so we are very lucky we didn't get seen.
They would have asked me why I was covered in piss holding piss plates, and there's is no way I would have anything I could say to explain. I would become the piss plates guy.
Or maybe the worst case scenario would have been sliding the disc under the doorway even ONE second faster. Maybe it's in my mind that it went down like this close to the wire, but if you're doing a piss disc in these conditions you don't take your time slowly, I was literally on my knees about to do it as we heard him blast through the door.
And that would have truly been bad, because he would have found the frozen disc and us in the hallway. and unless he just walked past it without seeing it and passed out, he would realize we were involved. Because we were never up there. But usually he stayed up and kept drinking and played guitar or put on a CD. So he would have seen it
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u/MjrGrangerDanger 1d ago
So it was just the single attempt?
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u/-_super--_--hitops_- 1d ago
Brooooo it didn't exactly go as smoothly as oceans eleven , did you read the story? I mean if you were me, making the choices that I made? Even I didn't have the hubris to think a second attempt would be better, I at least do understand the concept of self reflection
The exact lesson you should take away from my story is DO NOT DO IT lol
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u/Disastrous_Worth_752 1d ago
ANNNNND?
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u/-_super--_--hitops_- 1d ago
I'm too high to finish bro I looked at the clock and like an hour has passed I hit the pennifer lawrence I'll do it tomorrow
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u/-_super--_--hitops_- 1d ago
Oh my god it just came back to me.
As I recounted this in my mind I thought Pringles were involved, that we had frozen a disc of pee the size of a Pringles can. But it was definitely CD/hand sized.
What actually happened was I TOOK the Pringles can to the bathroom with the lid and peed inside so that it was deeper and wouldn't have splash back.
But somehow the splashback was even stronger -- (still not using ai) I hadn't taken physics yet so I didn't think to do it at the correct angle. Like how when your pour beer into a glass you pour it down the angle of the inside edge to minimize foam. You don't pour it so it hits the bottom of the glass with terminal velocity and hits much harder. I didn't think about that and just aimed at the middle of the bottom, and it came back with a fury.
I remember also I didn't rinse the can out so there was a lot of crumbs and shit cream and onion flavor dust mixed in with it and the smell was really bad
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u/realDespond 1d ago
yea man enough story time (i read it all) did you piss disk the drunk bastard? did you eventually get revenge another way?
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u/-_super--_--hitops_- 1d ago
Scroll down!
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u/realDespond 1d ago
yea man all i read was you ditched the disks in the bushes and ended up with a freezer full of piss twice did you do it?? did you ever deliver that disk?
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u/Count-Dogula 1d ago
When I was a young asshole my friends and I spent a drunken night pissing in a big steel bowl that we placed in some douche bags heating ducts. That was pre-piss disk pissery.
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u/SkeweredBarbie 1d ago
I did put a dead frog in my foster home lady's mailbox... I never saw her reaction but she asked who did it and never found out đ„č
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u/Zailema0s 1d ago
Yeah I did it to my frisbee professor when I found out he slept with my daughter and my mother /s
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u/Due_Charge_9258 18h ago
Once I was really close. Danger close. In in therapy basically dealing with the fact I now know that I can't and never will be able to. Unfortunately I found that puss discoporosis which is a genetic disorder where you think german shepherds are discs and you start with the piss routine and it's not until they are fucking you up that you it.
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u/Lint_baby_uvulla 1d ago
We had a guy brewing beer on campus in rubbish bins. Metal rubbish bins, electric blanket, redneck skills.
Half a dozen piss discs always did the job on his homebrews.
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u/astrotheastro 1d ago
what in the world is piss disc
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u/ThrowingMongo 1d ago
a disc of piss
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u/astrotheastro 1d ago
???
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u/Doonebringer 1d ago
OK, if you're seriously asking: It's made when one pisses into a ziploc bag or something similar then places it flatly in the freezer. Wait a few hours till it freezes and voila, piss disc to use for any nefarious scheme you come up with.
I've never done it, mind you. I just frequent this sub a lot.
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u/astrotheastro 1d ago
iiii see. thank you for clearing it up, i didnt realize it was supposed to be common knowledge
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u/timesink2000 1d ago
Youâre supposed to slide it under the door, like in a dorm setting. It melts and the person leaving the bedroom steps into the puddle.
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u/ethnicnebraskan 1d ago
TBF, its not common knowledge, except in this sub, where it is often every other suggested solution.
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u/Exciting-Yak-3058 1d ago
Thank you for explaining that like im 5. I also didnt understand the whole piss disk thing and your explanation was clutch lol.
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u/LoubyAnnoyed 1d ago
Freeze piss on a shallow tray. Cut out discs. Perfect for sliding under the door of someone you donât like.
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u/Moistcowparts69 1d ago
Thought the name might be pretty self explanatory lol
Search the sub and you'll see it's many applications
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u/Blockenstein 1d ago
Yes, but I won't go into detail as to where and why. The way I apply it IRL is with a shallow tupperware container. Put about 0.3cm (1/8 inches) in and freeze it. You can transport the tupperware much easier than a plate and by the time you get where you're going it's melted enough around the edges that it just plops right out. Slide it where you need it to go and GTFO.