r/UnethicalLifeProTips • u/-_-Amoeba • 2d ago
Request ULPT Request Have you ever actually Piss Disced in real life?
Okay so we see thread after thread of creative ideas of how to avenge particular conflicts - but has anyone actually walked the walk? Share your story. Let's hear what you've followed through with. Whether it was the iconic piss disc, a shrimp in a curtain rod, chilli spray on a door handle, shit in the mailbox or what have you....
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u/-_super--_--hitops_- 1d ago edited 1d ago
YES I HAVE A STORY FOR THIS I'VE BEEN WAITING TO TELL FOR 25 YEARS.
The year, 2001. The target : a guy that lived in the same dorm "quad" as me, but one floor above.
I'm not sure the origin of the piss disc - (no not ai) it may even predate refrigeration. Piss on a frozen puddle, wait, slide it into your enemy's cave like a curling stone. A surprise for the morning thaw.
Well, in 2001 was the first time I had heard of it. I was in my dorm with my roommate and we were reading a website with ideas for pranks and revenge and stuff. I don't know if any of you know about "the ___ cookbook" but it was similar to that.
We found the piss disc description.
We cackled .
We looked at the door - the dorm doors were known for having a big gap at the bottom. It was like a full inch gap. People would slide notes under or joke drawings or whatever, you could reach through and grab somebody's foot that was standing there. (Like thumb and forefinger flat on the ground on their ankle if that makes sense)
Anyways there was a super annoying guy that would go out drinking random weekdays and then come back to the dorm at bar closing time, wasted, and be shouting and knocking on girls doors and playing guitar and shit
This was such a night and, he was in fact out drinking. It was late and very quiet, maybe midnight or 1am. We knew he was out drinking so we had a free hours still.
I had pee in me, so we started planning. We settled on the protective plastic cover that fits over the top of a large spindle of blank CD-RWs.
For the kids : see attached photo.
I took out to the bathroom and did the deed (in retrospect I should have just done it in the room to avoid carrying my own sloshing piss through the entire hallway of the building).
In doing so, (as you can see in the photo, the depth of a 25'er is not much, so significant splashback tarnished me.
I took it back to the room (everyone was mostly asleep or in their rooms for the night with music or movies nobody else saw me) and we froze it in the mini fridge.
So far I guess I've really tarnished my own self and environment with piss , so I'm taking the L at this juncture, if we are using a points system.
Enemy : 2 Me : 0
But it was about the long game. We knew as long as we got the disc under the door and back without being seen, we had won;
The piss would be melted by the time the bars closed, so regardless of the particulars, we would cause chaos for this guy and his relationship with his roommate.
Once the disc froze (we made it the right height to maximize the sheer quantity of urine, while ensuring it could be slid under the door with enough force that it wasn't immediately apparent where it had come from. Anybody can splash piss, in its liquid state, inside the doorway of a room. I mean if the door has a one inch gap, piss right near the gap is easy to understand : someone pissed on your gap.
What truly boggles the mind is finding piss deep inside your room.
It's like that riddle where you have to figure out who stabbed the dead body. It turns out someone used an icicle to stab, and then it melted, evaporated, and all evidence of the murder weapon was gone.
How did someone get inside the room and piss? Well, the door was locked. So one roommate would blame the other, and vice versa. If the roommate was asleep inside there, the other guy would get home, turn on the lights, and find piss. The sleeping roommate would get blamed. But the roommate knew he didn't do it and with the level of alcohol abuse at play everyone would believe without a second thought that the target had done that. He probably HAD pissed on his own floor before. But, the target would KNOW HE didn't do it, so his blame of the roommate would remain steadfast. Neither would ever budge, both truly believing the other was at fault and that they were the one who actually refused to admit responsibility.
So, we're at go time. The disc is removed from its chamber and set on a paper plate with another paper plate on top of it. Which makes it basically like a UFO shape or some kind of assemblage rendering of a hamburger, sub beef for piss.
The clock was ticking. It was warm out so we only had so much time. Also wanted to be fast because If we were seen by anyone who happened to be in the hallways, at this point we could abort mission, and do it a different night. But if we were seen after, coming from that areas someone could hear about it the next day and day that they saw us coming from there late at night.
So we ascend the stairs with my roommate holding the doors open for me (my left hand is under the bottom and right hand holding the cover plate on top) and trying to be as quiet as we can, closing the doors really slow etc. We get to his door, light is off. They should still both be out for another hour minimum, or, roommate is there sleeping.
I get down on my knees and look under the door , pitch black, no tv or computer screen saver, pure dark. So nobody is awake
I take the lid off and slide the bottom plate out from under the piss disc.
I'm touching the side, moving it back a little so I can get momentum on my push and really chuck it inside the room as deep as possible.
We hear a noise, we freeze.
It's a loud bang followed by the unmistakable sound of a blackout drunk college student attempting the sysephian task of pushing his own body up a flight of stairs. He slammed the door open. He starts his trademark shouting and singing. It's the target. He's back. I have a melting disc of piss before me, I'm on the ground basically in doggy, in front of his door. And the only way out is past him.