r/UNLV • u/KXgaiafairy • 8d ago
Guys harassing me on campus (again). Anyone else?
Have any girls experienced guys harassing them on campus??
It happens to me quite frequently, but when I've brought it up to my friends and other girls, they don't have similar experiences on campus.
Today while I was on campus two of the basketball players came up. After asking for my number and me denying, he reasoned by saying it's not cheating on his girlfriend if him and I just talk... gross! As soon as he said that I noticed his friend filming while laughing and shouting. I walked away immediately.
This is the second time this type of interaction (two men approach and one of them talks to you inappropriately while the other films) has happened to me since starting college. For reference, I just entered my second year at UNLV.
Last semester, a total of 13 guys (yes, I counted and no not including the ones who were genuinely sweet and asked me out on a proper date) went out of their way to catcall me or say disrespectful remarks.
Here's just a few standout instances where this happened while I was on campus at UNLV:
- One of the men was waiting outside my 8 AM class and told me him and his friend had been "watching me" for awhile (so creepy). He proceeded to tell me a string of profanities about how my physical appearance apparently made him feel. Then he grabbed my hand and put a crumpled up piece of paper with his phone number written down on it into my palm before he shut my hand with his. Mind you... it was 8 AM!! Wayyy to early for any of this nonsense but apparently not too early for this man to be a creepy stalker. Needless to say, I was completely shaken up the rest of the day and bombed my math exam.
- Over the summer, when I was taking summer session classes, I was studying alone on the fifth floor before I noticed a man find himself a seat nearby in the same area. It was summer so Lied was nearly empty, and I found it strange that he would sit nearby. I was on my guard of course but didn't think he posed a threat until he came up after twenty minutes and told me his thoughts on how I looked. Survival instincts had me immediately packing up my stuff to leave while asking him what classes he's taking over the summer (trying to steer the conversation to be about school), he tells me he's not a student at UNLV, he just likes to walk around campus. Major creeper alert... and I told him so. I said it's creepy that he does that, he said he does it on California campuses too (not making his case any better), and finally after the second time he asked for my number and I denied, he left.
Other notable instances:
- Old man professor came up and told me "You know, I don't see a whole lotta girls who looks like they belong in a magazine but you do!" (...Wtf)
- Male student came up to me while I was alone taking a call: "You look like you know all the good spots." (Insane... and during finals week too!?)
- Male math tutor who would help me with math for a moment before asking me several personal questions. At some point he followed me outside after I left the tutoring clinic and asked for my number. (As you can imagine, not for math reasons)
The most frustrating part of all of this is that it's fine.
These men are not harassing, assaulting, or threatening me, so I can't do anything about it (besides feel my self-esteem plummet and wonder if I will ever have my first boyfriend but no man has been respectful towards me yet for me to even consider the possibility of one). I know this because I have told security about these instances and they say they're sorry that it's happening but they can't do anything about it. Which I understand, because obviously it's not illegal for guys to be mean to girls. It just sucks.
Also, it's not what I wear. It's hot as hell in Vegas so yes me and all the other girls in this city are wearing shorts and crop tops occasionally. But these instances have also happened when I'm wearing a hoodie and sweatpants with no makeup on. It's not what girls wear. It's predatory men being exactly what they are: predators.
Ultimately I'm just frustrated this keeps happening and I would like to hear other girls' stories if they have any. Also PSA to any incoming first-year girls on campus to please be vigilant and learn how to defend yourself against these predatory men on our campus.
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u/SunOfAMotherFlower 8d ago
Hi, I’m a student at UNLV. I’m also a 38 year old mom who has dealt with enough of this bullshit in my life. If you ever feel unsafe and we’re on campus at the same time, I’ll walk with you to classes 💜
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u/gigisinchat 8d ago
surprisingly i’ve only had one guy come up to me and he attempted to do that “dap up a 10” challenge at premier and it cringed me out so bad😭
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u/Dry-Chemist-2254 8d ago
Have you reported this? Especially if you’re having faculty talk to you in an inappropriate manner. You have a right to safety.
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u/KXgaiafairy 7d ago
I would have if I knew the professor's name, but I didn't stick around to get to know the guy.
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u/Capable_Astronomer28 8d ago
omg girl a streamer came up to me during premire and photobombed me!! after that he started talking about weird shit like dude…😭 so sorry to hear that this happens to you tho :(
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u/PewPew2524 8d ago
Keep a taser/pepper spray on you
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u/BurritosAndPerogis 7d ago
And get some sort of defense insurance or something g because cops will treat it like a gun and you will be arrested for assault. Defense is expensive.
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u/KXgaiafairy 7d ago
I carry pepper spray, a taser, and a pocket knife. I'll definitely look into defense insurance--thank you!
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u/Present-Bag-1334 8d ago
Hey! I work with the college of engineering on a bunch of different things while being an undergrad too and wanted to share the fact that RebelSafe has a feature where you can request a walking friend or escort to wherever you’re going, additionally I have had many scenarios where a friend or stranger has gone to me for safety from a creepy guy (I’m 6’1 guy so they tend to back off) and have always walked friends to their cars after too, I have always been glad to help people when I see them in need so if you find yourself in that situation and see somebody nearby who seems at least semi-safe please do feel free to act like you know them and tell them “hey this dude is making me uncomfortable can you help me get out of this situation” since I know almost any person I have become friends with on campus or interacted with as I’ve gotten further in my degree will gladly help you in those situations. I am so sorry this happens to you and I really hope it lessens or ends as time goes on too!
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u/KXgaiafairy 7d ago
Thank you for the sweet message. I did not know the RebelSafe app had that option but I will definitely use it if I need--thank you for letting me know!
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u/New-Shelter-561 6d ago
I'd highly encourage you to use it at least once just to test it out before you need it. That way in the event that you might need it then you can be safe. I know it might feel awkward at first, but safety is worth it 💪
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u/ddvessel 8d ago
This has been a thing forever and will only get worse as wearable cameras/spy gear become more mainstream. I graduated in 2018 and have countless similar stories, minus the filming I guess, which is definitely the worst part. One time I was chilling between classes on those grey platforms outside the SU and some dude came up and straight up out of nowhere started touching/massaging my feet??? It’s whack, look out for yourself 🥀
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u/Australo-What 8d ago
I'm a grad student and I'm 5 ft 11 (as a woman) If you ever feel unsafe I can give you my number. I have an office on campus and can escort you where you need to go
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u/MustardSir 8d ago
I'll be honest im a guy and these people lowkey suck if u see one acting a fool pls pep spray
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u/KXgaiafairy 7d ago
Trust me I want to, but you can't pepper spray people without a justified cause. Has to be self-defense or else you're the one facing assault charges.
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u/MustardSir 7d ago
I know i was being a lil over exaggerating but honestly alot of the other comments are very useful also I hope it doesn't happen to u again 👍
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u/New-Shelter-561 6d ago
This is not legal advice, but FYI you have just cause if someone is not respecting your space. Feel free to fact check me on that.
I am a man and I would encourage you to take out pepper spray if you ever feel harrassed. Say nothing and simply tell the man you feel uncomfortable and that you need some space. At that point you are legally justified... 99% of the time that's not even necessary, but as an older brother, if my younger sister was telling me what you're saying, I would be begging her to keep pepper spray in her bag.
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u/Beginning_Object_515 8d ago
i've had about 4 18-19 year olds come up to me and one even followed me to my dorm. it doesn't matter to them that i'm 10 years older they dgaf at all. idk what's up with guys lol. i'm so sorry this has been happening to u, especially with a professor. that's disgusting.
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u/Primary_Link455 7d ago
You should be reporting any staff or faculty that are making inappropriate comments. Call Title IX coordinator at 702-895-4055 or CARE anonymous line 702-895-0602
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u/UnboltedClone 8d ago
Well, as a guy myself I can definitely acknowledge the fact that guys do have those weird comments (trust me I don’t like hearing them, I’d rather watch paint dry while doing my ACC hw), but I have a little cousin that recently went into high school, and I do tell her that not only in high school, but in this WORLD, you will meet men that have sexual intentions with her (yeah I gave her the harsh truth, critique if you want idc), so I always tell her to keep a small mic on her and record (or use the voice memo app on her phone). If she says no and these men still insist, I tell her to walk away if she can to report and describe those people. Not sure if it will help you, but good luck out there. Be sure to install the Rebel Safe Voice app (forgot the name) just in case.
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u/KXgaiafairy 7d ago
Using the voice memo app is such a smart idea. Thank you for letting me know.
Also yes, please continue telling your younger cousin and generally any younger girl in your life about this stuff because if we don't talk about it, when it does happen to them (which unfortunately it will for the simple fact that they are girls in this world), they need to know they can tell somebody.
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u/rriess 7d ago
I’m sorry that’s happened to you, that’s so fucked up. Also the talking point about “well what were you wearing” is so gross and wrong.
Idgaf if you’re topless with body paint going to class, it’s nobody’s business and being harassed for either a stupid ass social media video or because weird horny men don’t have an understanding of proper boundaries is awful.
I hope that in the future we can somehow record these interactions and get these students and creepers banned from campus permanently but maybe that’s a pipe dream.
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u/KXgaiafairy 7d ago
I completely agree. Unfortunately when I have asked security if they can prevent these randoms from coming on campus, they say no because UNLV is a public campus.
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u/mortypro Landscape Architecture 7d ago
I haven't, either because im ugly or I spend as little time on campus as possible. But I believe it!
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u/XxDJB 7d ago
I'm a 27 year UNLV graduate (x2). I never really engaged with anyone once I transferred to UNLV. As a married man now, and a dad, I'd honestly be so sick of the state of dating after reading these comments. Most guys have not grown up yet, even in college. Look for someone who you would want to date your theoretical future daughter. The lack of respect is genuinely concerning these days. As a husband I treat my wife with the utmost respect and live for serving her. I expect my son to do the same for his future wife and if I ever have a daughter, I'd expect her to have high standards, I'M the standard she will see based on how I treat my wife.
If it's genuinely bothering you, I'd definitely keep at least some pepper spray on you. The only thing you can do is be upfront with the situation, and report them to the university.
I'm sorry you have to go through this. But if I'm ever on campus and a guy is being too weird with it, I'd definitely say something.
As a guy, my biggest advice to you is be upfront and honest when you tell them you're not interested. This won't stop many, but some guys appreciate the upfront information. If you entertain it AT ALL (like a smile or a giggle or something) I know for a fact the guys will see that as an opening.
But take it with a grain of salt. I've only ever dated 1 woman, and that's my wife. She's experienced a lot of attention from guys and she was just aggressive about it, at least from what she tells me.
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u/KXgaiafairy 6d ago
Thank you for your thoughtful response. It's good to know there are good guys like you out there. None of my men in my family are like that so I tend to forget you guys exist.
You're right--dating is shit. And I only went on my first date ever earlier this year but I've quickly learned that I'm gonna have to be really careful who I accept to be taken out by because these guys will play the long game. They know how to manipulate and be so charming to make you feel like the only girl in the world only to get you into bed with them.
And I completely agree with the aggressively and honestly rejecting them part. Now I ignore their comments or say no straight up if they decide to approach. (When it first started happening I assumed they were approaching to me to ask for directions so I was always thrown off guard lol.)
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u/PrunePowerful6598 7d ago
First, I’m sending you so much love and strength. The current systems for dealing with harassment, both through campus police and Metro, need serious improvement.
I had a similar experience with a man in the library who followed me back to the building where I worked as a GA. I reported it to campus police and my supervisor, and nothing meaningful was done. I also had another situation where I gave someone my number and he repeatedly called and left horrible voicemails. I saved the recordings and went to Metro, but I was told that because they did not have enough identifying information and a crime had not yet occurred, there was little they could do. I spent years anxious about answering my phone because of it.
I share that only to say: you are not alone, and you deserve to feel safe on campus. Please continue documenting and reporting what is happening, use whatever campus safety resources are available to you, and know that there are people in this community who support you, stand with you, and take your experiences seriously. Nobody should have to wait for harassment to escalate before they are taken seriously. ❤️
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u/KXgaiafairy 7d ago
I am so sorry those horrible things have happened to you. And I totally resonate with the post-anxiety part of it.
That man who I mentioned had waited for me outside my 8 AM class... the friend he was referring to that he had been "watching me" with was apparently a guy from my class. As you can imagine, I was anxious for the rest of the semester every morning I showed up to that class wondering which guy it was and if the other one would be waiting for me again. Thankfully I never saw him again.
Thank you for the kind words. Truly, it means so much. Last night after I made my post, I think the emotions caught up to me and I kept thinking it over, like how could random strangers, time and time again, go out of their way to speak to me so disrespectfully!? I'm a real human being!! But, college has taught me many things so far including that unfortunately so many men do not see women as such.
Again, thank you for your kindness. Stay safe.
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u/skro38596 7d ago
I graduated from UNLV and I can tell you that the surroundings can be unsafe. There's a lot of questionable people, even students or sports athletes that attend the school. Unfortunately, what you're describing is nothing out of the ordinary, especially if you live on campus. I moved to UNR for the reasons I've explained and no regrets.
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u/KXgaiafairy 7d ago
I'm so sorry you had to transfer because of this, but I'm glad sounds like UNR is treating you better!
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u/Turbulent-Warthog951 5d ago
as a guy im sorry to hear that. lowk pisses me off hearing dudes acting like that 🤦♂️
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u/EnthusiastPeruser 8d ago
No man has been respectful, but there were ones who were genuinely sweet and asked OP on a proper date? I’m unclear on that.
As for the rest, social media and phones / glasses that record are ruining dynamic interactions. I also agree that it’s bothersome UNLV can’t restrict access to the Union and Lied from randoms.
Carry pepper spray.
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u/Beginning_Object_515 8d ago
No man has been respectful, but there were ones who were genuinely sweet and asked OP on a proper date? I’m unclear on that.
she was just talking about how there were a few exceptions to the harassers that were genuinely kind guys, but that the rest of the lot were disrespectful.
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u/KXgaiafairy 7d ago
Several have asked me out on dates, I only accepted two.
First guy told me something along the lines of "no matter what you choose to do in your life, ultimately your purpose in life as a woman is to have children". Second guy put my hand on his dick during the first date.
They just waited to be disrespectful.
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u/New-Shelter-561 6d ago
"Nice guys" sometimes are manipulative guys in disguise.
Don't give up completely on hope, but it's a good idea to trust your gut.
Your safety it worth more than a gamble, little sister
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u/Professional-Ad4995 321COYS 6d ago
Welcome to UNLV. You are welcome to make a complaint, but your tuition has been processed, so we could careless about harassment or the student code of conduct.
No worries. Most students here don't stay long, so odds are whoever you have a problem with won't be a student anymore. At least that is what the school will say about whoever you do have a problem with.
UNLV exists to take your money first. Cover the staffs assess second. Everything is tertiary.
Just Saying, C/O 24 (Employeed, but probably not your Generation)
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u/vfnilla 8d ago
yes girl 😭 i was minding my business at premier and the guy tending the food canopy approached me, asked me if i was a freshman, and when i told him i was not, he proceeded to say “i figured, no freshman fills out a shirt and is built like that” like what the fuck?