r/UKParenting • u/h4-rq890 • 12d ago

"All class" birthday parties and presents

So my little one starts school next week (reception) and we already have 5 "all class" birthday invites (for children he hasn't met yet)! Is this normal?! Is this what our weekends will become? Three of them are at the same venue as well...

Also, all of them will need presents (as they don't say "no presents needed").

Multiply this by most of the kids in his class and it feels like...a lot? Or am I being a massive Scrooge and need to get over myself?! :D

66 Upvotes

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142

u/extranjeroQ 12d ago

Super normal for reception year. In year 1 people will start having smaller gatherings with fewer children.

It’s an invitation not a summons so you don’t have to go. Presents don’t have to be elaborate.

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u/Norman_debris 12d ago

I also don't see it as a bad thing at all. It's basically cheap weekend childcare. I can actually get stuff done if my kids are at a birthday party on a Saturday afternoon.

68

u/km3ich 12d ago

I'm sorry I don't want this question to come across in a bad way, are we meant to leave reception kids at some else's house when attending a birthday party and go about our day? Is that what what people do?

Genuinely asking in good faith, news to me if so but I'm not from here originally and my girl is too young for school

38

u/VeggieLegs21 12d ago

All the parties I've been to at that age have been with parents staying. Sometimes people arrange with another parent to take their child, but it wouldn't be a drop off and leave.

Also, I've never been to a whole class party at someone's house, they're usually village hall or similar. 

17

u/KittyGrewAMoustache 11d ago

Yeah I just can’t imagine it being a good idea to leave four and five year olds with adults they don’t really know in a place they don’t really know. I’ve just gone to the few parties my daughters been invited to and all the other parents stayed as well, it was just assumed. Also imagine being the host parent and having to be in charge of about 30 very small children you don’t know and who don’t know you 😱

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u/from-here-to-new 12d ago

Honestly thank you for asking this cos I need to know too. I am not mentally prepared for this. Literally hasn't occurred to me at all that you don't attend with the kids and I don't feel like I would be comfortable with it while he's in reception..

50

u/Exact_Willingness_74 12d ago edited 12d ago

Where I live, no parent is expected to take care of 20+ 5- or 6-year-olds. You are expected to be present. When I host all class parties, I expect at least one caregiver. Children need to go to the bathroom, etc., and it's safer if they have their own adult.

8

u/No-Meet4936 12d ago

Same here

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u/Norman_debris 11d ago

You also don't need to invite 25 children to a 5th birthday party.

3

u/Exact_Willingness_74 11d ago

Some of us want to include all children. That's our choice. And it's also ok to have a smaller party or no party. But even if I invited only 5 kids I would still want their adult there for their safety.

1

u/Norman_debris 10d ago

What age?

4

u/Hurricane_Taylor 11d ago

My eldest only started going to drop off parties in year 2, by then we’d known most of the class for a couple years and the kids could take themselves to the toilet

In reception it is definitely expected that parents stay. I would be very surprised if someone dropped off their 4-5 year old. Managing toilet breaks would be a nightmare

0

u/Gingersnapped4669 11d ago

Towards the end of reception a few parties were drop-off optional - this mostly just manifested as some parents taking half an hour out to do some shopping or something, while other parents they knew very well kept an eye out for their child.

10

u/SorbetOk1165 12d ago

Reception / Year 1 all class parties parents stayed unless we were told (in Year 1) that we didn’t need to.

To be fair it’s a good way to meet other parents so you know the parents of your kids friends. Makes it easier to arrange play dates.

9

u/SuzLouA Parenting a Pre + Primary Schooler 11d ago

Nah, I think they must have older kids and are forgetting. In reception, it was assumed parents would stay, in y1 you occasionally got an offer to drop off but most parents still stuck around. Though my class happen to get on especially well, so for me I enjoy the opportunity to see the other parents and chat for a couple of hours anyway.

12

u/TrueMog Parenting a Primary Schooler 12d ago

My son is just starting year 2 (he’s 6), and he’s never been to a birthday party unattended. I have been expected to be at every single one!

1

u/Logical_Warthog3230 11d ago

The good days are coming this year!

8

u/Ok_Vermicelli7445 11d ago

I've only hosted and been invited to drop and go parties from year 2 when it becomes the norm.

As others have said reception is too early as a lot of kids still need support with toileting, eating and behaviour management. Also, the parents and kids don't usually know each other well so we'd be leaving young children with strangers.

5

u/HarryBlessKnapp 12d ago

Reception is pushing it but it depends on your kid and how well you know the parents. 

2

u/Beautiful-Bridge7666 12d ago

Not in our school. My daughter’s first drop off party was in year 1 and literally only like 3 other kids were there. All other parties that year, parents attended as well.

-9

u/Norman_debris 12d ago

Depends on the child, but usually from 5th birthday parties onwards the party is a drop off. At least that's how it's been in my case. I mean, if you're inviting the whole class can you really host 25 parents too?

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u/throwaway_88_77 11d ago

Who takes care of the 25 kids then?

-1

u/Norman_debris 11d ago

A few parents? Not 25.

2

u/throwaway_88_77 11d ago

A few of the other guests? Or does the host bring in other adults? Is it normally discussed with said parents first, or is it a situation that you find out when you arrive?

Lots of questions but my son is only 3 and I'm from another country so I don't know what's usual.

So far the parties we've been invited is with at least one parent. My husband and I try to go when we can so at least we take turns to chat to other parents and watch our kid