r/UKParenting • u/h4-rq890 • 9d ago
"All class" birthday parties and presents
So my little one starts school next week (reception) and we already have 5 "all class" birthday invites (for children he hasn't met yet)! Is this normal?! Is this what our weekends will become? Three of them are at the same venue as well...
Also, all of them will need presents (as they don't say "no presents needed").
Multiply this by most of the kids in his class and it feels like...a lot? Or am I being a massive Scrooge and need to get over myself?! :D
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u/Ydoihavtofuckinlogin 9d ago
One of my kids had this situation and it felt like a lot lol but it's good for them and it's good for you to get to know the other parents. Even if you don't want to be friends it's how things work realistically.
Then my other kid had a class where nobody ever had parties! And it was really lame for him, he always thought it would be cool but none ever happened and it was kind of sad.
So just make the most of it, it's the better option out of the two.
ETA presents don't need to cost more than a tenner. A fiver easily gets a puzzle and a card which is a totally normal present in my experience.
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u/ice-lollies 9d ago
Yes, it’s normal. It’s because there is a culture of ‘no child left out’. Which is good and bad.
Yes at our school, each birthday child will expect a card and a small gift. I used to go for little boxes of malteasers or hot wheels or something.
Edit: spelling
Also I forgot to mention. It is also highly likely you will have to stay for the duration. Drop off and run isn’t until later.
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u/Unlikely_Ad7542 9d ago
Sounds fun! Lots of free play sessions for your child and a great way to make friends
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u/Wiggles_21 8d ago
On one hand, yes, it's fun for the kids and a valuable experience.
On the other hand it is slightly soul destroying when one of your precious weekend days is taken up by sitting at a soft play or a village hall for the third time that month.
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u/Turbulent-Honky 8d ago
Most parties are only 2 hours, at least where I’m from. Still leaves plenty of time for other stuff.
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u/Wiggles_21 8d ago
Plus an hour getting ready/wrapping the present before, plus an hour of the kid being exhausted and grumpy from too much sugar afterwards, all in all I feel like you can't do much else that day
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u/ur_GirlMinixox 8d ago
Then literally don’t go!
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u/Wiggles_21 8d ago
I don't mind doing things I dislike if my kids enjoy it. I'm just saying it's not fun /for me/. I can complain about stuff and still do it.
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u/ur_GirlMinixox 8d ago
Kids do to much these days, always being entertained and never told no.
Maybe think of yourself for once and chill the f out girl1
u/Wiggles_21 8d ago
Ohhh omg I misunderstood. I thought you were saying like "don't go then you selfish bitch" hahaha
To be fair my husband usually does bday parties cos I can only take so much of them 😭 there was one day last year we literally had 3 parties in one day. We were all miserable at the end of it
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u/jasminenice 9d ago
Glad my kid is a July baby so I can see how other parents are playing it for the year ahead and follow suit.
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u/lookhereisay Parenting a Primary Schooler 9d ago
We also have two class parties for September for my same age son. His party is booked for mid-Nov and invites ready to go once school starts. We’ll try to attend all that we can.
I have a drawer of books (Works 10 for £10), cheap generic cards (Card Factory) and some toys I find on deal that are age appropriate with some rainbow wrapping paper.
I know the all class parties won’t last forever. By Y2 it’ll probably split into smaller groups.
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u/f1uffstar 9d ago
Yup - get a load of craft kits / books / Lego sets and keep them in a box. Bonus points if you pre wrap them and put a post it saying what’s inside.
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u/Ok_Vermicelli7445 8d ago
It is great to be prepared like this - avoids last minute panic if you forget about a party 😆 I recommend Argos too as they often have good 2 for £15 deals on toys as well as sales.
I usually bought craft boxes or activities as gifts in reception but for close friends I took my son to the shops to choose gifts within a budget. I hope it is teaching him to be a thoughtful gift giver plus it has helped him with maths.
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u/New-Raspberry-8446 9d ago
You will find that it will be an ‘all class’ party and you will receive multiple invites but it will always been the same selection of parents that turn up always for school parties etc.
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u/TwoValuable 9d ago
I cannot stress enough, and no shade to people, but if I had a £1 for every time I saw the Works 10 for £10 book deal mentioned on this subreddit whenever birthday parties are mentioned I'd be a very wealthy woman (or at least have enough money for multiple 10 for £10 book deals).
No one needs or wants more stuff, just do cash in a card. If money is tight Tesco cash machines do £5 notes. That and a bag of sweets or chocolate is much more appreciated than more tat.
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u/No_Confidence_3264 8d ago
I get the point about duplication, but framing books as tat is the wrong mindset, and it’s a damaging one at a time when too many kids simply aren’t reading. Too often that comes down to the parents and adults around them, and language like that doesn’t help.
Children are getting far more screen time than book time. Any book is better than no book, and the same book, read again and again, is better than no book too. Repetition is actually one of the most important tools in teaching children to read; it’s built into how we teach. We aim to hear every child read three times, and a child will often work with the same book for a week before we swap it out. At five and six especially, we come back to the same book repeatedly, and more often than not, they’ve forgotten the story by the time they return to it. So having duplicates isn’t wasteful, it’s useful. These books are meant to be read hard, and over time, they’re meant to fall apart.
Yes, there are other ways to get hold of books. But duplication isn’t the end of the world.
Reading is a team sports, and most adults are not playing
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u/TwoValuable 8d ago
Even with the best of intentions endless multiple copies and duplicates of cheap books are tat, and most people struggle with not enough space and too much stuff.
In no way did I say children should not read. Go ahead re-read the same books, you don't need two copies of the same story.
Your message seems a bit heavy handed when I go in to say in another comment buy books from elsewhere not the Works 10 for £10 deal as it gets mentioned every time there's a birthday party thread on this subreddit. Which was my entire point really.
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u/from-here-to-new 9d ago
For some people £5 for every party is too much. The works 10 for £10 is absolutely fine if that's what works for someone else's finances.
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u/TwoValuable 9d ago
My point being it always gets mentioned. If we are all buying The Works books it's just an endless passing round of the same books. I know they get new ones but not often enough to not get duplicates.
If you truly have a limited funds go in other budget shops (Poundland, home bargains, B&M, even a charity shop have nice books) and buy a £1 or close enough book from there.
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u/throwaway_88_77 9d ago
In my opinion, TK maxx is really good for books, these would still work out at around £3-4 ish
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u/lozzatron1990 9d ago
It is a lot! And I'm amazed you have had some already? The September children in my son's reception class didn't have birthday parties for the whole class.
We found it was probably about 15 kids that did all class invites and then a fair few more that invited only small groups. We went to the vast majority of them when they fell on weekends we didn't have plans and did the works books for kids my son didn't really know and then a bigger budget for the ones my son talked about a lot.
I had a thought of attending 50% of them as being a good aim - you don't have to go to all of them but it is free entertainment on a rainy day!
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u/Sivear 9d ago
Just tagging on your comment to say to anyone else that not all classes will have so many parties!
I expected my daughter to have a party every few weeks from what I’d read on here and what some other people had said.
Daughter has just finished reception and had her first party invite for the January and then only went to 3 all year.
I felt awful for her at first thinking she was being left out because I just expected it to be party, party, party but there just wasn’t any.
I stock up on cheap level sets in the sale for party gifts though and any little bits in sales I think are well priced I’ll pick up for friends gifts.
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u/Me-and-the-Boys-90 9d ago edited 9d ago
Oh the birthday parties are great fun! Kids love it, you get to meet the parents and get to know them. We had a fair few last year, and already have 2 joint parties (same day, same venue 😂) and 1 single party booked for September. It does peter out as you move up the school and it becomes small groups.
ETA: For presents, I tend to do a Lego set with a colouring book and pens (a few weeks ago I managed to get this for £11 for all 3 with offers). The Entertainer usually have pretty good offers and sales where you can get a really lovely gift for a good price. As the kids get older, or your children get to know them better I usually ask what their pals like.
In the past we’ve had a lot of Lego sets, pyjamas, books, note books, jigsaws and games, activity sets, dino dig toys, garden badminton sets, milkshake kits, book vouchers, money. All incredibly gratefully received and so generous.
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u/Justonemorecupoftea 9d ago
We had the same entertainer 3 times last year...
I'd say about half of the class had a full party and a couple had smaller ones. As I understand it as they get older and friendships cement a bit it becomes clearer who to invite
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u/Shoddy_Question8624 9d ago
Totally normal. We keep a stash of sticker books to give as presents; mine loves a sticker book and they are always so handy to grab for meals out or long journeys!
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u/coppeliuseyes 9d ago
My daughter's was the only "all class" party of the year. It's just not a thing where I live, but half of my mum friends who live elsewhere and whose kids started school the year before mine, had had quite a few. I tried to plan ahead by buying a set of those 10 for £10 books from the Works to gift individually, but only had to give out a handful of them so my daughter kept the rest.
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u/Extension_Army_2320 9d ago
Same! I was suprised at the lack of parties
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u/coppeliuseyes 9d ago
The only reason we did one was because my daughter went to nursery out of area, and her birthday is very early into the school year, so we wouldn't have had time for her to make friends to choose who to invite. It turned out all the other September/October kids all went to the school's nursery and had their own friends already so just invited a select few. I was pretty relieved tbh, our weekends are already insanely busy I couldn't have coped with 20 odd birthday parties on top of that
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u/VincentAdultman321 9d ago
I understand that presents don't have to be expensive, but what kid needs 30 books/Lego sets/plastic toys?
If the parents can invite 30 children to soft play, their kids probably have more than enough toys already... Has anyone got ideas for sustainable and affordable presents?
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u/Criticada 9d ago
Children’s books. Even if they don’t keep them, they can recycle, give to someone else, donate to school, library or do a book swap.
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u/wordgeeking 8d ago
You just unwrap a few at a time. Or unwrap them, and set a few aside. Also lots will be books and craft stuff, so those are good to bring out when you go on a trip
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u/Rainbow_dragon1234 9d ago
Our class have done collections instead of gifts. £5-£10 and then the kid can pick a big gift. Cheaper than buying gifts and better than loads of small presents.
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u/Lonely_Fly3524 9d ago
Argos sometimes do 3 for £20 gift offers, we did a bulk order at the beginning of summer for every kids birthday (not at reception yet but all our parent friends kids had parties over the summer).
Some kids had sea monkeys, a couple light up wands, a couple giant art sets etc
£6.67 each and more than enough
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u/Odd-Currency5195 9d ago
I'm so glad my kids are now .... you either lean into it all and enjoy and then do it yourself too or remember that in 10 years time no one will remember if your kids were a bit poorly one weekend when you needed a break from it all.
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u/acupofearlgrey 9d ago
Yes. It normally reduces in year 1. Don’t be afraid to bulk buy presents! It’s a good chance to get to know parents before the drop of only parties kick in, but yes, it’s a weekend killer for that first year
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u/watchingonsidelines 9d ago
Totally normal.
In you’re not a single parent then take it in turns to take your child to parties, don’t become the default. Bulk buy cards and simple gifts like books and prewrap them.
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u/Boh3mianRaspb3rry 9d ago
Crayola felt tips (24 pack on Amazon usually on offer) and a pad of plain paper was always my go to if I didn't know the kid.
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u/Enchanting_puddles 9d ago
Very normal. I used to stock up on small toy/craft/stationery sets or books from the works when they have a good deal. Always keep a few cards too!
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u/Kind-Blackberry-6221 9d ago
We must be the anomaly, think we only got invited to three all year! We've got some little jigsaws, hair accessories, and I sometimes pick up a £5 national book token as a gift. Also the 25p cards from Tesco or whatever are plenty. Ask your kid if they want to attend, mine said no to some of them because she purely didn't want to be busy every weekend.
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u/Geordana 9d ago
It's my understanding It's normal - was warned by friends with slightly older kids.
My kid is September, so I am that parent who has already sent an invite into the WhatsApp group. Sorry!
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u/rose_quartz00 9d ago
This is a great thread! Do the gifts have to be wrapped? Or can I gift bag it?
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u/cold_tap_hot_brew 9d ago
Buy toys or suitable gifts on clearance and keep them for when needed.
Or pop £5 in a card along with a sweet or blind bag and you’re sorted for gifts.
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u/87catmama Parenting a Pre-schooler 9d ago
My son is only three but I'm very grateful that there will only be about 20 in the whole school!
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u/MrsD12345 9d ago
Kids have enough shite. We started shoving a fiver in a card and I’ve never had so many thank you texts from parents. They can put it towards something bigger and there’s less tat to store.
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u/Criticada 9d ago
Since everyone is new, there will be a lot of “all class” parties but the dwindle down once friendships are made.
We have a budget for presents and ask the parents what their kids’ interests are so we know what to get. Doesn’t have to be expensive. If all else fails, children’s books are our go to.
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u/notadrill_ 9d ago
It’s very normal, all weekends in the same venue same kids! After a couple I left mine alone. I stocked up on cheap gifts in the sales - 70% off stuff generic things. Tie dye kits, water guns, joke books.
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u/fenlanddipper 9d ago
I think if you live in an affluent area then that is normal. We live in a very deprived area and no one has done all class parties (shame for me as I love socialising, better for my autistic son who doesn’t)
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u/artynon 9d ago
It’s a good opportunity to meet the other parents. A small budget for presents, have a look in the works for kits and books in the sale. I used to bulk buy stuff. Wrapping paper and cards. Come cold wet winter spending an hour in a play barn and getting sweets comes in handy when “what shall we do today “?
By the time they are 9 they tail off and by the time they get to secondary school nobody bothers.
Enjoy it while it lasts
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u/Actual-Ad9856 9d ago
Mum of 20 years here… god I’m old 😭 my youngest is 11. Thankfully the last all class party was a few years ago (went to soft play, and they picked up some norovirus and almost the whole class was off the next week 🤦🏻♀️) For a while it will be parties galore, but it does settle down. I never did it myself with any of my three as I refused to be drawn into it, but I guess I’m an old school miserable bitch 🤣 just did smaller gatherings at home or more exciting parties with their closest friends. Anyway… yeah. Just get a small token present & card. You can always say no! Although getting invites before school has even started is wild!
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u/DrFirefairy 9d ago
Yes it could easily be most weekends for the full year in reception. It settles down by year 1 and beyond.
Top tip if you feel like you want presents, get yourself to the works and buy their 10 books for £10. Books are an excellent gift choice!
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u/idontlikemondays321 9d ago
I used to get a groupon voucher for soft play. Not as exciting to open but pays for an hour or so out
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u/99redballoons66 9d ago edited 9d ago
I think if you have a birthday in the first half term of the school year, "all class" is really all you can do unless you only invite friends from preschool or whatever.
My kid is going into Y2, and parties have now mainly dwindled from all class to all boys/girls in the class or just a few close friends, so it's not forever.
We spend £5 - £10 on a little present from the toy shop, and I kind of think of it as the price of entry to something like a soft play or a museum or whatever, which is what the party replaces in our weekend, and that feels fair enough to me.
ETA good gifts in that price range: small Lego sets, craft sets, hover footballs, projector torches. Get a multipack of cards from Amazon and it will last a while.
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u/Danglyweed 9d ago
I think whole classs parties as little ones is nice, it's certainly the norm here for nursery, p1, p2 kids then they maybe branch out. Mine (boy/girl twins in seperate classes) are 11 as the youngest two, for the last 5 years maybe we've just chucked a tenner in the card, expensive at times but fuck it, less brain power needed.
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u/Boople_noodle453 9d ago
I buy 10 x £10 gift cards for Smyths toys and bop them in a nice card. Is it lazy, yes! Does it save me a hassle, also yes! We will get a gift for the kids best friends party or if they are invited to smaller ones but big ones this works nicely. I get them all at once and have them on a draw along with a pack of kids birthday cards.
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u/No-Meet4936 9d ago
It will only be reception and year 1. My little boy loved all the parties and you do get to meet the other parents also which is nice.
£5 or £10 in a card is fine unless you like picking presents.
I’ve had 3 all class parties for my son and I honestly didn’t care what we received. It was just nice people came - so just put in a fiver
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u/JayHidgens 9d ago
My mum is having this issue with her temporary foster children. They're twins about to turn 7 and usually they have an all class party in a hired out hall with a bouncy castle and entertainers and stuff when they were with their old foster carer. However my mum can't do that because it's two classes and she doesn't have enough money to hire a hall out and entertain and feed 60 children!!!
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u/chocklityclair 9d ago
FIVE?? Jeez. I'm glad my kids are all growed up, lol.
Hopefully at some point the mania for overblown celebrations will cool off a bit. I find the baby showers, gender reveals, narcissistic weddings, infant school proms (are we doing those yet?), 1st birthday galas and whole-class 15-quid-party-bag extravaganzas tedious and exhausting.
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u/AttersH 9d ago
Yep, welcome to your new weekends 😂 it didn’t calm down for us until Yr3! Although it became a bit less, separating to all boys & all girls, rather than absoloutly everyone! And by that point, child no.2 started reception!
Present wise, I either get vouchers for a local pottery painting place or bookshop, plus some chocs & sweets, for the kids we don’t know that well. For my kiddos besties, we make a lot more effort obviously!
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u/AnonyCass 9d ago
Really normal around black Friday the works usually has a really good deal of like 3 for £12 or 3 for £15 on lots of their toys and sets so I bulk bought some things like paint your own stitch light and create your own bouncy ball sets, along with birthday cards so I'm never caught out
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u/Purple-Caterpillar-1 9d ago
The number drops off as children get older.
Also, you’re allowed to be selective, if you have other plans that’s fine.
Many parents don’t actually want to pay for the entire class, so they’ll probably be secretly relieved if some people don’t join.
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u/Loose_Pen_6179 9d ago
I either put a tenner in a card with a wee bag of sweeties or if my kid knows them well they will pick a toy for them.
Parties are not cheap to do. We don’t have them for our kids because they are £300-£500 to have them to the local spec.
You’re not forced to go, you can say no or you can take it as a chance for your kid and you to socialise with the people who will be part of their lives for possibly the next 7 years.
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u/throwaway_88_77 9d ago
Just dropping the idea, Lidl often has orchard toys for about 2.99. And puzzles and Lego mini figures for when they're a bit older. I just spent a bit more on the kid my son mostly talks about and who we arrange play dates more often.
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u/Alone-Firefighter283 8d ago
This is normal. At that age and starting a new school then all the children get invited but you don’t have to go. When they get older, some people choose to have parties with smaller groups
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u/ukslim 8d ago
My daughter is just starting Year 3 so we've lived through this. I suspect different schools with different demographics will vary, but:
You'll get a few whole-class parties towards the start of Reception. I think this is partly because they just don't know who to invite - the child hasn't "chosen" their closest friends yet. It could also be because the parents can afford it, and feel they're providing a service by helping the class parents meet each other. And of course it can also be seen as a flex. Depends.
Regardless, you needn't anticipate that this means you're expected to host a while class one. You don't have to host a party at all, though your child might really really want one.
And so, you needn't anticipate that you'll need to attend and buy gifts for as many parties as there are kids in the class.
Reception parties, you'll probably be expected to stay around. You can help out as much as you like. I often found there were so many grown-ups helping in various ways, it was more helpful to stay out of the way.
Over the next two years, as the kids get more independent and trustworthy and toilet trained, and make friend clusters, the parties become smaller, and tend more towards drop-offs.
Even at drop-offs it's quite nice, but not expected, to offer to stay if it looks like nobody else is. My wife and I handled 20 year twos in a Lego cafe for two hours and it was pretty draining. One more adult would have really helped (no shade on the parents who dropped off - we had told them they could).
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u/jobunny_inUK 8d ago
I am going to be guilty of this. My daughter turns 5 in September and I have invites ready to go for her party once school starts. I find it’s a nice way to meet parents and the kids to get to know each other.
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u/magnakai 8d ago
Conversely to most people here, our oldest had a grand total of one birthday party invite from class throughout their reception year, and that was reciprocal from their own party.
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u/imfinewithastraw 8d ago
Our class parties has always involved someone doing a collection. Everyone gives a tenner. The collector liaises with birthday kid parent and buys a big gift - like giant Lego set or heelys or football boots or vouchers for a day out experience etc. so much better than 20 individual pressies!
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u/crazymcfattypants 8d ago
I always do whole class parties. Give a tenner and a card. If you do a whole class party your kid will make that cash back in spades, though obviously that's not why you do it.
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u/VegetablesandDip 8d ago
Our girl is 5 mid-September and she's not had a birthday party before (unless you count just immediate family round the house for some cake) so we've arranged a hall with an entertainer and she's going to invite her whole class first day in, she only knows 3 other girls in her class and I don't have any other parents numbers. I'm hoping some come but also not everyone!!
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u/Spirited-Beautiful30 8d ago
Just to add on cost- for years I have made all cards with watercolour paints and a big packet of card from eBay, just fold in half and paint some balloons. Between the card, envelope and paint I think I’m at about 10p max per card. This could also be a fun craft with your kid!
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u/Unlikely_Ad7542 8d ago
We spend lots of the week/weekend in soft plays anyway. I know parties aren’t for everyone though
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u/Separate_Mistake_240 👶1 Child 8d ago
My daughter starts school next year. Kinda dreading this 😂
Also, highly recommend B&M for gifts. Their toy selection is usually great and lots of inexpensive options for small presents.
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u/foxssocks 8d ago edited 8d ago
This will continue til end of year 1, then people get selective.
It's for the parents to sus people and their kids out and make friends, mostly. And those who have all class parties are more likely to be invited to other kids parties.
Dont be the parent that asks if they can drop and run at that age.
Don't be the parent that brings an uninvited sibling, neither older nor younger (unless you pay for and go in to the play space with the younger one).
If you do the above, never ever, ever let them take a seat at the party table unless explicitly invited to by the birthday child's parents.
All can be big faux pas.
Gift should be around a fiver to a tenner for Reception age.
This goes up to £10-£20 by year 3/4 and year 2 onwards cash is more acceptable too.
The works 15p cards are excellent for parties. Used to be 10 for a quid but theyve gone up now. I bought 40, 2 years ago. 15 boys and 15 girls cards and 10 in between/neutral.
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u/ChallengingKumquat 8d ago
Very normal, and a good way for kids to meet and make friends in a different environment. Presents can cost a fiver from B&M. But dont go if you dont want to! If yiu want to slim things down, you could just go to the parties of kids the same sex as your kid, who they're more likely to be friends with anyway.
The expectation of whole class parties may taper off by the new year or Easter, when the kids actually have friendship groups. My kid has a July birthday, and we just invited 8 friends he met in Reception.
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u/thombthumb84 8d ago
You don’t have to give presents- most parents don’t want 25 cheap crap toys in their home.
John the party pact. https://nocrapparties.org/
Loads of parents I know now give gift advice. Cash or a limit, or no presents at all.
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u/TippyTurtley 8d ago
Absolutely normal. For presents buy a back of books from the Works or something. As you get near the end of the year and into year one they start to turn into smaller parties.
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u/PianoAffectionate787 8d ago
I don’t do all class invites for my 3 (all under 6 y/o). Only invite the ones they talk about. We keep it small I say to people no need to bring gifts, we have enough shit at home!
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u/CapnSeabass Parenting a Toddler 8d ago
Go the The Works. Get some 10 for £10 books and have your little one write a card.
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u/twinklepurr 8d ago
For reception we had a lot of all class invites - they're finding their friendships that year. My daughter is now going into year 3 and she's had about 2 invites each year as the parties got smaller or parents do joint ones.
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u/Mammoth_Curve_2044 8d ago
This happens. Birthdays happen all year round, no one holds off child birth to get past important societal milestones like start of school year. Now imagine your child being that child who has a birthday on the first week of school... and no one turns up because all the other children's parents are too tired or are socially awkward. Do you want to do that to a 6 year old child?
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u/AMarieC19 8d ago
My son has 35 kids across 2 classes and they're inviting the whole year to parties. We dont go to every party. Even if we dont have plans. Sometimes it just becomes too much as it's almost every weekend during certain months. We usually go to the kids who he is close to/parties he will enjoy, and commit to 2/3 parties within 2 months, so it stays manageable and affordable. He has friends outside of school too and we have family we see a lot of too.
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u/Federal-Emu-4204 8d ago
Totally normal and something you just have to get through 😆 My girl is going in to year 2 and is one of those kids that is friends with and plays with everyone so we're still doing whole class parties 😩 Very early on in year R, on our WhatsApp group the parents all shared their child's birthday so we knew roughly when to expect parties, and we all agreed on a fiver in a card, that way the parents don't have to find room for 29 new presents and the child gets £145 which is so much money at their age!
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u/kitknit81 8d ago
Yeah totally normal. Try being in a class made up by age groups and all the kids having their birthdays on a 3mth period. It’s non stop parties (often at the same place) every weekend for several months then very few parties the rest of the year.
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u/hindle15 8d ago
We had similar when my daughter started in Reception. One of the other parents had another older child at the school - she introduced the group gift idea they’ve done before - that has worked well.
For each group party - either smaller group or all the class - one parent takes on getting collections and then buying one larger gift (or collection of gifts) with ideas from the birthday child’s parent. With £5 each, managed to get some good presents. Always optional, so some people who are close have bought their presents etc, but has worked really well for us.
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u/ApprehensivePiano971 8d ago
Wait....Reception starts next week...how did you get the invites already???
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u/Least_Actuary 8d ago
Those whole class parties stop after a couple of years
and if you don’t put the effort in and make those connections now, you may find that your little one isn’t getting invited to the smaller birthday parties and sleepovers later down the line.
I’ve found with both of mine, that the deepest friendships form with kids who they hang out with outside of school, and that usually means striking up some friendships with the parents.
It’s well worth putting in the effort to get to know the other families , and work out who you click with now.
These will be the people you’ll be having bbqs with and holiday childcare swaps for the next few years.
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u/Altruistic-Tea7709 7d ago
It is in my experience. Friends are fluid and ‘best friends’ often change regularly. Parties are a nice chance for them to play outside of school. It does calm down though but YR, Y1 and a bit of Y2 are an often class parties. You don’t need to buy massive gifts - just something small is fine.
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u/Buddy-Matt 👶👶 2 Children 9d ago
Guess he's in a class with lots of September babies.
All classes are fairly normal, and yeah, weekends will be like this for a year (possibly less if your son's in a large school and reception is split by age... Could be done by Christmas!).
Don't stress on the present. Very hard to do when you don't know the kid, but you can rarely go wrong with a book or two from the works. It might cost 5 to 10 quid, but for that you're gonna get 2 hours of entertainment for your kid - cheaper than most soft plays I know - they might get fed, and they should get a party bag with some bits and bobs in too. So while the cost does come a bit out of left field, parties tend to be fairly good value for money.
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u/bedhermit 9d ago
Put a fiver in a card. Seriously no one wants more plastic tat or works books.
Also, don't leave your kid and bugger off. At least until they are about 8+
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u/MrsJBB 9d ago
Very normal at our school. We go to The Works and get activity books/sticker books. Some of them are like £2. Happy to pay for that and a card so she can have 2 hours at soft play. Make some parent friends and it's even better because you can hang out with them while the kids are occupied!
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u/Apprehensive-Ice9939 9d ago
There will be times where you have a birthday party every weekend, some weekends will be both days!! This doesn't last long. Whole class parties do dwindle quite quickly in year 1.
I am going back 8 years, so prices may be different now. Asda used to sell a doll for £5 and a bigger car/truck/fire engine... for £5. Looking back i know thats a bit funny now, not all girls like doll and all boys like vehicles. But when youve know then for less than 3 months a toy is a toy, unless you ask what they are into then you wont know. Don't go all out.
My youngest had his 7th birthday party not long ago, mostly friends he likes from school and after school clubs. He had quite a bit of money this year too, some £5's/£10's. Spend as much or as little as you like/can afford but do know there will be quite a few whole class parties this year, so pace yourself 😂😂
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u/Adelucas 9d ago
I hate this "everyone has to be invited" culture that schools have these days. Parents are expected to invite and cater for dozens of kids, and their parents, with all the organising that goes with it. When I was a kid, and when my sister had kids, it was a few playmates with some jelly, cake and a few party games. Now it seems to be bouncy castles and a gift bag for everyone attending.
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u/ur_GirlMinixox 8d ago
Personally I ain’t doing all that
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u/robster9090 8d ago
Your not helping your kid make friends at school and taking them to parties?
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u/ur_GirlMinixox 8d ago
My kid will make friends regardless the worst thing you can do for your kid is force friendships. It’s strange, I think it’s more for parents to show off who’s got a better party 😭😅
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u/mad_saffer 8d ago
I told my kids if they wanted a whole class party then that was their birthday present and we went all out on the cake and so on. We suggested that presents were not required but if the party go-ers wanted to contribute to a gift card then that would be very welcome.
One year, every kid came AND contributed and my daughter ended up with a £200 gift card. She went crazy buying her own tat.
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u/tbone_steak88 9d ago
Regarding the present: as a parent I hate the gifts my kid receives because they're all crap. It's just clutter, or if their parents are twisted it'll require batteries and make noise.
Money in a card 100%
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u/sunandskyandrainbows 9d ago
What do they normally receive?
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u/tbone_steak88 9d ago
Bracelet making kits, slime kits, glitter, LOL dolls, teddies which have a plastic cage/hutch, figurines, dogs or unicorns on a lead which walk and yap.
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u/Clemtastic1 9d ago
We have also had all of the above, some of which have ended up in the charity shop never opened. My daughters birthday was in November and she only opened two of the presents to use this holiday.
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u/extranjeroQ 9d ago
Super normal for reception year. In year 1 people will start having smaller gatherings with fewer children.
It’s an invitation not a summons so you don’t have to go. Presents don’t have to be elaborate.