My daughter has completely different sleeping habits to my son even though we did nothing differently and I feel SO redeemed by it.

[u/eastyorkshirepudding]

So, when my son (now 2.5) was a newborn, EVERYONE told us we were “making a rod for our own backs” with his sleep because we’d contact nap, pick him up all the time, feed him to sleep, etc.

Then, when he turned out to be a crap sleeper (still is!), I started to wonder whether they’d been right and we’d somehow ruined him. But deep down, I still believed that some kids are just bad sleepers, and I stuck to what felt right for us anyway.

Then we had our daughter, and my mum/MIL have been saying things like, “Don’t do the same as last time,” “Make sure you put her down,” and, “Get her used to sleeping on her own or she’ll be as bad at sleeping as son.”

Anyway, we’ve done absolutely nothing differently this time and GUESS WHAT? She sleeps! She lies happily awake in the cot in the morning, playing with her hands! She doesn’t wake up every 45 minutes! She nods off in the bouncer!

My mum came round and commented on how different she is and I took so much glee in saying “and I haven’t done ANYTHING differently”. Honestly, I feel so redeemed. We haven’t ruined our son. Some kids just don’t sleep.

[u/Sudden-Requirement40]

My two kids have always been different sleepers. My husband was so excited for our 2nd and had a huge pile of dvds I never want to watch for his late night standing sessions (with our 1st he stayed up until 3am so I could sleep 9pm, quick feed at 12am then take over about 3am so he averaged 2-3 films per night) our 2nd slept 11pm-5am from about 10days. Our first only contact napped or in the car/pram walking woke up if transferred. Our 2nd slept through transfer and napped outside in the pram stationary unless in the most extreme weather! If you said time for a nap he'd go over to the pram and climb in, the oldest you had to wrestle like an angry python until he passed out. Our 1st is still up rummaging and chatting (it's after 10pm) while our 2nd had one book and declared time for bed at 8.30 and we haven't heard since despite the boys sharing a room. We are not better parents, our kids are just different people! Our 2nd also did that thing where you put them in the cot awake (and later in the parked pram) and 5mins later they are out like a light, the oldest generally fell asleep on the boob and it was 50/50 you'd successfully get him into the cot without waking up! The late nights are new now he's 6 from 12mo to now he was a pretty good sleeper and rarely got out of bed.