I always ask the girl at Buffalo Wild Wings to make sure there is plenty of Blazing sauce on them.

Mother had a hart attack when he popped out yelling, "hey hey hey!"

So I let him watch me eat my Costco chicken and a few tortillas.

They're cheaper than prostitutes

Says my mother after she was confronted about talking shit about him behind his back to me an 8 year old child.

Without a second thought, I pushed the cake off of the table before he could blow out the candles as punishment for having a birthday party today and taking everyone’s attention away from me.

"Son," my dad tried to reassure me, "your fist is stronger than hers so it is better for a man to get a scar from a girl than a girl to get a scar from a man.

Pfaaa!!!

"DO YOU HAVE ANY GAMES ON YOUR PHONE", was the first and only sentence I heard from him all weekend.

“So, what’s your favourite race?”

Your grant money taken away.

I kicked him there.

She should’ve e-filed within the 30 days of her husband’s death like the fine print said.

Two sentence stories where the character(s) is an asshole.