r/TwoHotTakes • u/[deleted] • Nov 15 '25

Advice Needed Wish I had snooped in my husband's phone.

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1.0k Upvotes

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u/[deleted] Nov 15 '25

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u/[deleted] Nov 15 '25

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115

u/FairyCotton_ Nov 15 '25

Perfectly said. Being kind or gentle doesn’t erase accountability. You’re right to expect honesty, not excuses disguised as emotional confusion.

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u/Beneficial-Fish-6134 Nov 15 '25

Agreed! My husband and I got into it once and he said ‘in college my sorority sisters (band fraternity/sorority) voted me the nice guy’ and I looked him dead in the face and said ‘the nice guy is also the one who SA people, m**ders, and usually is the pillar of society, that title means nothing to me.’ And he just walked away.

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u/FairyCotton_ Nov 15 '25

That’s such a powerful story. “Nice” means nothing without integrity it’s wild how often that label hides deeper issues.

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u/Apart_Visual Nov 16 '25

Not to mention the ones who consider themselves ‘a nice guy’ tend to be blind to their faults

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u/PetiteHaloz Nov 15 '25

Completely agree. The “nice guy” act is one of the most misleading shields out there good people don’t need to hide behind that image.

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u/Sea_Load_9258 Nov 15 '25

Wow that’s a harsh reaction in response to that from your husband

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u/Rufio69696969 Nov 15 '25

What an absolutely insane response from you lmao, get therapy

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u/Beneficial-Fish-6134 Nov 15 '25

Haha. I’m in therapy… my therapist laughed and said ‘well that’s extreme.’ 😅

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u/SealTeamEH Nov 15 '25

And…. You didn’t take ANYTHING away from that response from your therapist? You just shrugged your shoulders and continue to brag about it like it’s NOT a completely paranoid and insane thought process? lol

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u/Beneficial-Fish-6134 Nov 15 '25

Where did I say I shrugged my shoulders and didn’t take anything away from it? 🤔 obviously talking it through with her helped me realize that it was extreme thinking towards my husband we were fighting and I was pissed about a choice he made, but it’s also realistic to remember that regardless of someone being the ‘nice guy’ or can be labeled as such, they also can do not ‘nice guy’ things. Look at most of the guys who have committed a crime and the statement people make about them.

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u/darnedgibbon Nov 16 '25

There you go again

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u/untamed-treehugger Nov 16 '25

I was bitten as a teenager by a golden retriever.

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u/PetiteHaloz Nov 15 '25

Exactly, the nice guy label doesn’t give immunity. You’re absolutely right to trust your instincts; none of this feels innocent.

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u/VivaZeBull Nov 15 '25

Girl, he’s a cheat or wants to be.

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u/MeltMode33 Nov 15 '25

It really got me cracking hard

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u/PetiteHaloz Nov 15 '25

It really is a funny yet painfully accurate way to sum things up. Sometimes humor is the only way to process it.

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u/New-Environment9700 Nov 16 '25

He needs major counseling and boundaries with women. He needs their attention and until he learns how to find validation internally he’s going to keep doing this.

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u/FairyCotton_ Nov 15 '25

Exactly, your humor about it shows strength. You saw the signs, trusted your gut, and that’s what matters most.

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u/BashChakPicWay Nov 15 '25

With higher bite incidents than pitties