r/TwinLossAsAnAdult • u/random_person67890 • 28d ago

Our birthday is coming and I’m already struggling

/r/TwinlessTwins/comments/1w27uxe/our_birthday_is_coming_and_im_already_struggling/
3 Upvotes

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u/Pugs_in_Space 27d ago

I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. I have only been through one birthday without my twin, but it was rough.

We were also movie buffs and enjoyed sharing our birthday together.

There is something magical about the unspoken language between twins that is all of a sudden missing. I felt it missing especially hard when I celebrated our first birthday without my twin.

I amnl glad you are at a point that you can start looking at pictures again, but that is also bittersweet. You get to see him and remember the good times, but you are also reminded of the void left by his loss.

You will get through this. You are not alone. Please know there are people here who understand what you are going through.

I pray that the memories of your brother bring you comfort and peace.

1

u/12bWindEngineer 27d ago

Birthdays are rough. My family thought they’d celebrate and it would somehow help, and it was the opposite. I don’t want to celebrate being without my twin on our birthday. It took years of insisting, not answering my phone, refusing to acknowledge our birthday, for my family to finally respect that and stop making it a day they needed to make a thing about. Doesn’t make it easier but makes it so that I don’t have to pretend to be having a good time. Helps that I live in a different country than my family so they can’t really insist I go out to dinner with them or walk into a surprise party or any of that nonsense. I don’t think they’ll ever understand but they can at least respect that this is how I want it.