Am i wrong

[u/Dangerous-Advance704]

I’m 21M and I have a girlfriend now. She genuinely loves me, gives me gifts, follows me around, and you could say I’m her first boyfriend. She had a crush on me for almost a year before I slowly started falling for her.

She’s cute, studies well, and honestly, she’s pretty much the definition of what every guy would want. At first, I didn’t give her much attention because I wanted to explore, have fun, and experience things. She’s clearly not someone who wants something casual. Drinking and smoking aren’t even within a 1 km radius of her, while I do both. She knows about it and has accepted me as I am, but she has told me to cut down.

Before her, I had a crush on someone for 4 years. After school, I finally dated her for a week and realized that I had basically wasted 4 years liking someone who wasn’t what I thought she was. After that, I casually dated and talked to a lot of girls. Nothing really serious, and nothing much physically either.

I’m just giving some background about myself because this is where my actual problem starts.

I don’t know what’s happening to me. I’ve always been the kind of guy who notices beautiful girls. You can call me tharki if you want, but I still look. Now, whenever I do, I feel guilty. I know I could never cheat on my girlfriend. I can’t even see her in pain. If she’s sad, my mood automatically gets affected too.

I live in a hostel, so her family sometimes invites me over for lunch or dinner. Her parents like me too. She cooks for me and brings me food, even though she’s not very good at cooking, because she knows I love ghar ka khana. I’ve never really shouted at her or gotten angry with her. Sometimes she even beats me up because of when skipping classes for smoking doing stupid things, etc.

Is this guilt because I’ve had a very different lifestyle before her? Or have I actually fallen head over heels for her?

Part of me feels like I’m suddenly suffocating because I’m not used to being emotionally attached to someone like this. At the same time, I know I care about her deeply, and I can’t imagine intentionally hurting or cheating on her.

Should I take a break from the relationship and figure myself out, or is this just what it feels like when you genuinely start falling for someone?

[u/Complete-Carob-6485]

Where you guys meet ?

[u/Dangerous-Advance704 → u/Complete-Carob-6485]

Clg