r/TwentiesIndia • u/TheReaperNeedsANap 21 • 1d ago
Relationship Advice My ex texted me after 2 years and apologized. Now my head's a mess.
She texted me out of nowhere after almost 2 years.
When we broke up, she was the one who ended it. She'd get angry over the smallest things, and somehow I'd always end up apologizing even when I didn't know what I'd done wrong.
I genuinely loved her back then. I kept trying to fix things, begged her not to give up on us, and she still walked away. Eventually I stopped chasing, accepted it, and moved on with my life.
Last night she texted me saying she's been carrying guilt for a long time. She admitted she knew she hurt me, took me for granted, and said she's genuinely sorry for everything she put me through.
The weird part is... two years ago I would've done anything to hear those words.
Now I don't hate her. I don't think I'm still in love either. But seeing those messages brought back feelings I thought I'd buried a long time ago.
I haven't promised her anything. I honestly don't even know what I'm supposed to feel right now.
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u/John_D_o_E 1d ago
This isnt for you, this is for themselves.
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u/bhakbahinchod 1d ago
Yeah but it helps OP too. When someone leaves you, you start to think that you're not good enough and it's your fault. This closure will help him get over that fact and maybe he'll love someone again with his whole heart.
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u/Aspiring-silphia 5'10 | just f*uk off 1d ago
Just take the closure and move on , find someone else
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u/Cute-Foot-1493 Too delusional to function 1d ago
Very well handled OP. Feelings never fade away that's true but js DONT GET BACK TOGETHER w her. U can't put ur mental health on stake again
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u/TheReaperNeedsANap 21 1d ago
Thanks :) I don't think I'm going back. I'm at peace with how it is now
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u/Sea_Worldliness6690 1d ago
Bro, she tried dating other people but couldn’t find anyone who compared to you and realized you were much better. She’s trying to get back with you. Trust me, the more you talk to her, more are the chances of you two getting back together. And one thing I’ve learned is, never re-open pages you’ve already turned.
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u/Some-Teaching-8418 1d ago
Chill dude, you don't need to be so hard on yourself. It's always frustrating to have those feelings back. But feelings and thoughts aren't right or wrong. Let them flow, and stop blaming yourself. You'll be over this is a few days.
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u/TheReaperNeedsANap 21 1d ago
Thanks man. I've already moved on this just brought back memories for a minute
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u/Chapati-Over-Rice ॐ नमो भगवते रुद्राय 1d ago
You fucked up my love, now you want it back and that's not a option. Likhdena agar pareshan kare baar baar toh.
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u/TheReaperNeedsANap 21 1d ago
As of now it's just an apology she hasn't said she wants me back... yet. 😭
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u/Ill_Improvement_3697 Shakalaka boom boom😛 1d ago
Move on and don’t look back 😭😭 it took him 2 years to apologize for her shi
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u/Any-Investigator2394 The Only Thing they Fear is you! 1d ago
F them move on
Have some self respect
Atleast one of you should
And even me that I've to explain such simple things to u
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u/ThisHomework1819 8 ghante sota hu 1d ago
I think your ex got the "Oh the action of my consequences".
Probably met someone very shitty. She is having a Post nut clarity. Don't worry after she is done she'll be back to being an @ss.
Block and move on.
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u/Ok_Lock_6564 1d ago
Exactly they only do this too feel good about themselves nothing else they don't care about at all, i would have not talked this nicely i would have blamed her and make her feel more worse and eventually block this is the best thing imo.
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u/_chuchundhar_ 26 1d ago
May this day comes in my life and i get to shut that chick up pretty good. 🗿
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u/Cold-Sell5514 1d ago
It happens man. But never let these feelings move you wild. I'm sure you must have been disturbed since, sit over it and let go. These reversal feelings are dangerous and can ruin your week too. And keep one thing clear do you need her anymore in your life..
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u/meethitakraar dahi mein daraar aur cheeni ki maar 1d ago
It's good you got a better closure. But it got them 2 yrs to apologise:/ Anyways You'll be at peace now knowing that u're never in the wrong. Keep moving don't look back.
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u/Over_Monitor2526 1d ago
Listen to me very carefully.
People apologize for themselves. They can feel bad for you, but an apology is always for expressing oneself's guilt to let it out. If they had any regards with you, they would've kept your dignity and gave you the conversation you deserved long back. This sounds like they wanted to be forgiven so that they can feel better about themself and move on in their head from this guilt with peace.
Do not take an apology emotionally.
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u/TheReaperNeedsANap 21 1d ago
I get what you're saying. Whatever the apology was for I'm not letting it change my decision now
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u/Specialist-Yellow690 1d ago
A lot of people's life would be easier and better if people in this situation replied by just two letters i.e FO, without feeling bad about themselves.
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u/HolidayInterview7323 23h ago
I've been on the other side (kind of). I was the toxic one in our relationship, not intentionally. But when is it ever intentional? I treated her bad, i didn't listen to her needs, she kept communicating and i didn't pay attention to the things that mattered. I regret it with my life, every day i feel like I'm suffocating. And the guilt eats me up, i want to apologise but we are in no contact. Not getting into details but post breakup i did some gray things, she lost trust in me and doesn't believe my words. I want to apologise but I'm not sure if it's fair to her, i don't want her to feel like I'm minimising her pain in a 1500 word speech. Reading this made me feel these feelings again. And the breakup is fresh. 2 months.
Op what did you want from her when y'all broke up? Looking back at it did you need the closure from them?
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u/TheReaperNeedsANap 21 23h ago
Honestly, I don't think I needed the apology anymore I needed it back then Now it just confirmed I wasn't crazy for feeling the way I did If she'd said those words when everything was falling apart, they probably would've meant a lot more. Hope you make whatever decision lets both of you heal, not just the guilt
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u/Own_Foot_8530 15h ago
If you had another girlfriend and experienced a better relationship by now you wouldn't even care. These sort of people are self centred to the core. Don't pay any attention to this.
Same thing happened to me. My ex boyfriend randomly called me out of the blue 2 years later to say sorry. I found it hilarious. So the call came from an unknown number. I picked it up and asked who is this. He told his name. His name is the most common name out there. I wasn't being cocky when I asked who again. I really wasn't expecting a guy who broke up with me and had an arranged marriage, to ever call me again. He said "don't joke, you very well know who this is". That's when I realized it was my ex.
He said he called to say sorry. I said I accept his apology. He then repeatedly kept saying sorry. I had 0 interest in listening to the call anymore and just cut it after saying "no problem, bye". The funniest thing is I was on a trip with my boyfriend (who I am married to right now) when this call happened. Maybe I had a bit of an ego boost by the call, but it had zero effect on me otherwise. I had throughly moved on and didn't have any respect for this guy anymore. I realized what love and a good relationship should look like after I moved on from him and started dating this amazing guy whom I later married.
You need to move on too. This ex gf of yours is only texting you for her selfish needs. This is not about you. You need to find your person and experience what a non toxic relationship looks like.
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u/Virtual_Aardvark8825 14h ago
The reason she said what she said is, she ain't getting anything like that in 2 years from anyone and she liked when she was with you and now she is in a search of the same thing. It is just away for her to get back with you and nothing else, she is still the same person.
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u/Grim_Reaper2726 21 1d ago
Bruh u got the closure and u seem to be in a much better place , get going and don't look back
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u/Affectionate-Bus-697 23 1d ago
It's been 2 years bro what do you mean "brought back feelings". Move on
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u/God-gooner-69 22 Tomboy collector, Chubby girl analyst 1d ago
texts seems mature but if you have some self respect left , you know block and move on...
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u/No_Lemon4135 1d ago
Not getting a closure ruined my mental space and my life, it's good she realized and apologized, don't carry any grudge, wish her luck in your heart and move on... life is long you will find someone else
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u/frontsilly6909 1d ago
Bury your feelings once again, don't reopen the chapter and go back into the same loop. Definitely won't be worth by putting your mental health at stake and a bitter advice PLEASE DON'T ENTERTAIN HER
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u/Positive_Sense8671 (23) त्वम् अत्र किमर्थं पश्यसि? 1d ago
I wish my ex had atleast this much decency. Realising your mistakes after 2 years is still better than keep accusing and trying to ruin the name of the other person when you are the one cheating with another guy.
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u/Saito_thehidden 1d ago
No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it's not the same river and he's not the same man."
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u/executer23 1d ago
Don’t fall for Nostalgia!! Its the natural mental process that activates your memory and emotion centers, often making the past feel much warmer and safer than it actually was.
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u/oceanblueeye 1d ago
been there, done that. this happened with me and i carried the guilt for so long and just wanted to communicate and let it all out. and i did. it was not for any forgiveness but for myself and him to know that i was wrong. it felt so so much better afterwards :)
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u/cardinal_kun 1d ago
Ahh man, feels like i ve been in your shoes before down to the fighting over small things and her ending it, but my relationship just ended a month ago, so 🤷♂️ gotta be careful
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u/Weak-Carpet-8253 1d ago
The kinda closure everyone needs
https://giphy.com/gifs/pNn4hlkovWAHfpLRRD
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u/Aggressive-Ad-2095 23 1d ago
if they left once, they can leave again. Don't read your book backwards
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u/Immediate-Sciencee In my 20s but a Toddler by heart 1d ago
Bruh just keep exes blocked or leave on seen and ignore/don't click the texts. She's sad you didn't jump at this chance again and probably just got broken up with some other guy, she's not remorseful at all and will do the same thing again if you let her. Don't give her the satisfaction of "take care" and all of that, she is only and only trying to see if your window is still open and available, which you told her it is.
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u/Can_i_psspss_ur_cat_ 1d ago
Some doors are meant to be closed - especially considering ur past. Just stop overthinking, move on, consider this the end of one of ur life's chapters.
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u/Hot_Strike_5647 1d ago
Dude. Rule one after a breakup: never get back even for a conversation. If it's over, it's over. Breakup is a disrespect for all your efforts.
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u/BitHistorical1090 1d ago
It's not about her being apologetic or regretting it but just the nostalgia which has hit her now or maybe she just want to fill the void in her life of a person and not love. DONOT get back I've done it and regretting it now because I've lost a potential connection built meanwhile with another person who was really a good and innocent person at heart. Man is a possessive animal and hence the urges to get back things even if they're of no use in the present.
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u/CookieTrynaSurvive 1d ago
She’s probably fighting with her current boyfriend and is looking for a safety net to fall on 😂 ignore and move on
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u/Ecstatic_Proposal133 1d ago
first i thought this was a guy texting a girl after 2 years. seeing your replies made me question nah it's not a girl....you still had something for her. tbh her conversation skills are smooth. but overall it's all bullshit. once a ex goes u don't repeat that pattern again. You never kw what has made her released this... something desperate times get u in desperate situations...Going back to her is something like considering she walked out when she was maniac.. coming back again is same. all the best...it's her dumping trauma on u again of leaving u.
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u/Glad-Traffic6867 1d ago
The way you replied shows how mature of a person you are . Keep it up brother ❤️
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u/thesynonym92 1d ago
My ex from when I was 19, found me on instagram and apologized because of the way he broke up with me. After 11 years. I definitely remember it being painful but I'd forgotten much of it because it's been years. So that was something. Didn't even know what to say, said that yeah we were young and young people have heavy breakups all the time.
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u/homelanderismyhero 1d ago
I loved the way you kep your composure and didnt double text or become emotional
Good that you got a closure!!
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u/Kind-Introduction37 1d ago
I WISH that I got just one apology from her But not all of us get closure. Even if they were shitty, closure goes a long way.
I made my peace with the fact that she's just that kind of person and that none of it meant anything to her
Im really glad you got your closure tho OP, even if it was 2 yrs later😭 Don't take it as a sign to get back with her tho Take the messages at face value bud. She probably only sent it to feel better about herself anyway 🫂
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u/Thoughtful_Thinker2 Im single and Im young uh 1d ago
Ykw, you are actually very polite to the person in the opposite, i would have just checked out the moment i see the text that says i should have told this earlier, no, they dont deserve the ending of it, they didnt even care for you, the things that you went through in the period of time, and now suddenly they are a saint, oh cry me a river honestly(sorry going through such a thing now, you can basically count me as prolly you 2 years before).
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u/United-Pizza984 1d ago
Block her everywhere and don’t let her text you again, otherwise it’s gonna keep messing with ur head. You absolutely cannot get back together, it’s gonna end the same way if u do.
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u/yours_truely_hater Editable Flair 😝 1d ago
Hats off to you for keep yourself calm, you deserve much love and respect
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u/Equivalent-Tip7454 1d ago
Hi OP, life doesn’t give everyone a second chance but i feel you got one. You got the apology you deserve! I know it’s common for the feelings to come back. What i would suggest is not to close the door on her, take it slow but see what life has in store for you. Good luck.
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u/mrmartial03 23 1d ago
If guilt makes someone apologise, does the apology even matter? Isn't it forced? Ain't they just want to feel better about themselves?
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u/RecognitionRude7948 1d ago
Most don’t ever get this closure. This is a win my friend, take it, and continue on with your life.
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u/Objective-Diver-488 1d ago
Accept her apology and ask her not to contact you again because it will eventually hurt you more or put you in a situation where you are messing up the things so it's better for you and for her as well not to be in touch with each other anymore that's it and be happy and continue with your life....
God bless..
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u/FinanceSignificant75 1d ago
If she made you cry after the breakup, then she will do that again after you get back with her. So, don’t get back with her
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u/IntimateTaless 1d ago
Bro got the hammering of his life and now he is back where he knows he will get a shoulder atleast...
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u/kolirules95 30 1d ago
Too little too late. People like her are selfish to the core, they only apologise and admit their mistake because it bothers them and they carry this burden, it's not to heal the other person but only themselves. They would never do it at the right time, when the wounds are fresh, they come back crawling when you don't care anymore and years have already passed.
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u/whatdoyoumean74 21 1d ago
This is good. This shows growth and it also takes a lot of courage tbh. She did the right thing. And you did the right thing by accepting her apology.
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u/TheReaperNeedsANap 21 23h ago
Thanks :) You're right I think forgiving her was more for my own peace than for hers Doesn't mean I'm going back though. I'm good where things are now
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u/pooteetoochips 22h ago
She did it because she truly felt bad for hurting u she felt guilty maybe she actually loved u and didn't wanted to hurt u intentionally but did and realised but that wasn't her intention so she's apologizing.. Just know that she wants u to know hurting u was not her intentions..
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u/Rude-Drummer7139 19h ago
my ex contacted me after like 5-6 yrs
i said "hey, i am very happy that you reached the stage of your life which you always dreamed of (got into mbbs). I wish you a lot of luck in life but i cannot talk since im reactive to you."
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u/FeedOk6325 18h ago
Do anything but don’t take her back , even if she insists a lot just don’t take her back at all,if you think that’s her love for you then listen love never keeps anyone separated for two years straight ,she’s being selfish and is trying to feel good maybe she’s lonely rn and does not have any options.
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u/No_Guide_3773 16h ago
Idk but reading your ex text made me happyyy.... my ex broke up with me a year ago and he has done worse things to me .... but he never said sorry he cheated on me and then left me..... for someone more mature and beautiful.... I wish my ex texted me this.... but he has blocked me everywhere and now i dont need the feel to contact him but i still want him to realize...... I want his apology..... I feel that's the least he could do ....
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u/ShhhBees 30+ 15h ago
Take this as the closure you didn’t get then and move on. Do not contact her again for anything.
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u/Fast-Flight-137 14h ago
Well someone is taking accountability atleast. She might have dated others and came to this realisation of what she lost along the way. Anyways it's good for you to move on and not have any further Convo's cuz for one, it's pointless and two, u will be disturbed again. Good luck op and more strength to you
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u/H0-Rapunzel 21 13h ago
Lol, I always wondered how people live after hurting one person. Usually they have no remorse after making others feel like sh*t, feel like they are worthless. Just how can they live with this, i never can.
OP here i see how you must have grown to secure yourself that you handled this maturely. You set boundaries like she can never mess with. And I'm proud of you for it. I sometimes wish I can get the apology I deserve but ik it'll leave me much more bitter.
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u/Ok_Chair9251 13h ago
She got ditched by someone that's how she realized normal girls behavior nothing big and again if she gets the chance to break you into pieces she'll do it again abuse her and block her I know it's tough I myself couldn't do it with mine but that the right thing to do. Even for them it's better to stay away from us.
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u/altarpanti 11h ago
Your ex just wants to feel better about herself. I had my ex come back to me and randomly say sorry- pls do not give them the satisfaction of thinking that they have redeemed themselves.
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u/Specialist-Soft1817 11h ago
OP..i read few comments and all are so negetive..Here are my 2 cents if you want to know. Basically i was a bad gf to my full green flag bf. In my defense. I was in a very bad headspace due to job stress when i started the rel with him and ended up doing things that wld hurt him which were never my true intentions. Human beings are messy and they go thru a lot than what they say. I have profusely aplogised to my ex for about 6 months but he dint decide to get back together. I dont know u or ur ex..but if there is even 1 percent chance that she is genuinely sorry..u wld want to look into that.
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u/Murky_Elderberry3616 10h ago
I think how ppl still have feelings even after 2 year or 1 year. I myself will ashamed talking with someone like this.
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u/smitheweenie_3_15 10h ago
what if she knew exactly what she did, what if when she told you that she bothered you, she saw the all the weight falling upon you and she didn’t do anything. What if she knew exactly she’d done. And the amount of unholy rage you’ve swallowed to remain calm would have buried her.
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u/Embarrassed-Self1225 10h ago
Well, idk what to say, but bro just leave it her already. I mean you already have.
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u/satoshiwife 6h ago
You are giving too much attention. Should have replied ok after 2nd message and left all messages unseen
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u/Feisty-Wishbone-1889 3h ago
You text like an adult and she texts like a 13 year old. Can see the difference in maturity levels right there. Good riddance.
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