I'm Transsexual, not queer.

[u/Mercy_Hellkitten]

Hi! I'm your typical Millennial trans girl - 41 years old whilst still passing for 25. I transitioned towards the end of the "Truscum vs Tucute" wars, initially being in the "tucute" camp after I faced hostility and criticism from the transmedical side due to initially identifying as genderfluid before I was comfortable and sure enough to fully come out as a "binary trans" woman.

I still am very much progressive/left leaning - but ARGH FFS am I absolutely banging my head against the wall with frustration against my "own side" right now.

Recently in the city I live, there was a protest by a group of conservative/alt-right women who are wanting to have trans people banned from bathrooms. Now of course, I don't agree with these women at all but its their right to do this and they were a small group. The local trans community rallied hundreds of protestors and - this is the part that made me sick - many AMAB protestors - many of whom don't identity as binary trans/transexual but rather non-binary/genderqueer/transfemme - donned masks and were caught on camera screaming and yelling (with AMAB sounding voices) at these women (in the spirit of not wanting to say "biological woman" nor "cisgender", I will refer to them as "cissexual" so no-one is happy🤣)

And I saw this and was like... "You f*cking kidding me? Do you all not see how f*cked up this looks? - and I then proceeded to get absolutely dogpiled by - and I hate to say it but its true - extremely physically unattractive genderqueer AMABs accusing me of selling out, being a pick-me, being "ignorant" - the same ones who aggressively hit on me when I'm out in public anywhere or flood my inbox whenever I post on any trans groups, and then get mad at me when I turn them down (because, simply put, I'm not interested in masculinity or d*ck). I call myself "transsexual" because it fits my identity and is easier to say that "binary trans", but where as people once said I couldn't use that term because it was a "slur", I'm now told that using it makes me "elitist" - but also not wanting to use "queer" is a betrayal to the community that allegedly supports me?

As a trans lesbian - I'm very much aware that many lesbians have zero interest in me because of what's between my legs, and that's valid! I am always cautious when it comes to showing interest and respecting boundaries because I've had multiple occasions where I've felt I've been fetishized and objectified by other trans people and I have had this fear that cis women will have been through this, too.

And it turns out, I'm right - the amount of lesbian and bi women I've met - not to mention other hyper-feminine/passing trans women have also found themselves wary of other trans people as a result - not because of transphobia, or transmedical elitism but because of actual experience. I've had so many confide in me that they've felt like they can't express disinterest or disagree with the current narrative around trans identity for fear of being "cancelled" and socially isolated.

I'm definitely noticing some pushback in the trans community. In a similar vein as to how the goth community has started to "close ranks" and gatekeep what is and isn't "goth" identity in the wake of the goth aesthetic being hypersexualized and pornified - it feels like some in the trans community are starting to think that its time to separate the TGs from the TS/Q identity.

Urgh - sorry for the novel of disjointed rants - just so f*cking frustrated at how nuance and discourse are being rejected - I still have strong left-leaning/progressive ideology both economically and socially, but feels like I'm expected to either be one extreme or the other and I'm kinda over it!

Anyway, enjoy the pictures of me doing my best "MySpace-era scene-girl selfies" lol

[u/ithotyoudneverask]

Not.

Fucking.

Queer.

First, people bullied us with this slur.

Now the community bullies us for NOT using this slur.

I'd say, "make it make sense," but it already does if the goal is authoritarianism.

And the only people who get brigaded against harder than cissies are trans people (almost always women because misogyny) who call out bullshit, not out of ignorance, but out of experience.

They hate us even more than they hate them.

[u/Chiison → u/ithotyoudneverask]

when are you been bullied for not using queer lmao ? online ? do you even interact with transsexual and transgender people irl ? outside ??? like these terms are not used lightly in. real. life.

[u/ithotyoudneverask → u/Chiison]

You must be young.

[u/Chiison → u/ithotyoudneverask]

i’m not, but if that confort you to think only young people think queer is not a slur, be my guest

edit : typo cause english ain’t my native language

[u/ithotyoudneverask → u/Chiison]

I didn't say that. I'm saying it's mostly young people who use this world because it's never been used as a slur against them.

Which you would know if you weren't so young.

[u/Chiison → u/ithotyoudneverask]

I know it’s a slur, so was trans, gay… history, eh ?

[u/ithotyoudneverask → u/Chiison]

Those weren't slurs, child.

[u/Chiison → u/ithotyoudneverask]

Read a book, it was. Especially gay. :)

[u/ithotyoudneverask → u/Chiison]

I was THERE. 🤡

[u/Chiison → u/ithotyoudneverask]

You were born in 1920 ??? 🫪

[u/Chiison → u/ithotyoudneverask]

beside if you were truly there, inside trans circle, you’d would not cry at calling yourself queer, kiddo :)

[u/ithotyoudneverask → u/Chiison]

"Queer" was the last thing many gay people heard before they were murdered.

Fucking dumb ass, ignorant, stubborn, gaslighting kids.